SunCancer MoonCapricorn MercuryCancer VenusLeo MarsCapricorn JupiterPisces SaturnSagittarius UranusSagittarius NeptuneCapricorn PlutoScorpio LilithGemini Asc nodeAries AscendantSagittarius

Hey it's been a long while since I've posted here, but I've been with my for what's coming on 4 years now. When we first got together there were a lot of communication problems. Aka neither of us were good at talking about our feelings, but that was mostly due to immaturity. Which led to a break up that lasted 2 months or so. The relationship now is way better than it was when it first started mostly because we have worked and continue to work on our communication issues. I think cancer/cap combination can be really fulfilling. I've noticed even though neither of is considers ourselves to be traditional, we tend to rake on traditional roles.
Posted by ninjamu
^^ Bullbutter. All Cancers are emotional unless they are wrought with a ton of earthy placements.

Anyway, not liking the bashing? OK. I'm a Leo and let's see how treetrunked they are:
-self-important
-attention just like mes
-vain
-arrogant

There's more I'm sure. I hope this makes you feel better!


I don't think I'm anything like this. Although I will say I am emotional but I don't let it show.
Sun- Cancer 1??
Moon- Capricorn 13??
Mercury- Cancer 26??
Venus- Leo 8??
Mars- Capricorn 21??
Jupiter- Pisces 22??
Saturn- Sagittarius 4??
Uranus- Sagittarius 19??
Neptune- Capricorn 4??
Pluto- Scorpio 4??
True Node- Aries 27
Virgin or not, just sounds like he wants some.
Hmm... tough... if I had to choose I'd say, laughter.
Posted by krysrenee7
Posted by sweethearts
@ Kry, I've seen you say a few times that you had blocked P??? Did you unblock her?




No. Back then, she got on my last nerves & I don't have any reason to believe that he/she has changed one bit, so yes P Angel is still blocked on my end.


I think what it all boils down to is this: We can all sit here all day & over-analyze this whole situation. Truth is, it is what it is. Everyone in this situation is going about things in the best way they know how. Everyone's different methods/ways for which they go about handling things may clash but at the end of the day, what you see is what you get.

There could be 1 million things Cand is doing wrong & there could be another 1 million things her roomate & girlfriend are doing wrong and/or things they could all be doing better. BUT, as long as the friendship is still there & as long as you still have access to her, that's all that matters.

A person cannot change what they refuse to acknowledge. And no matter how much someone else's decision(s) annoy us, we will only drive ourselves crazy trying to change something or "wish" before the people with the real power are even ready to.

Cand...you have very valid concerns. You're like the average friend or family member or parent, etc. who can't really get a full night's worth of sleep b/c your loved one isn't in the healthiest relationship/situation. Of course, sometimes you might take things a little too personal & you might be harping on things you can't & won't ever be able to control, BUT you do have valid concerns, so don't start 2nd guessing yourself. How you feel is how you feel. How you perceive things is how you perceive things. It's not about changing how you feel; it's about ACCEPTING what is!

After awhile, you just have to accept what is. There are 1 million "What ifs" & "I wish's" here but you'll all drive yourself nuts trying to harp on something neither of you can control...well atleast not for right now. Just keep doing you. Just HOPE & assume that your friend will come back to planet earth one day soon & hopefully before it's too late. In the meantime, just keep being her support system & accept things as they are

click to expand


Wait... I'm confused... so how did you know you agreed with what she said?
Posted by Amandus
Posted by P-Angel

Take on a little acting part in a play .. be the villian .... face being an marker publicly just to try it on and see how it feels, and this way, it's you doing it, it's the character, so there can't be any anxieties about how you present yourself.


Being a villian in a play sounds like a very good idea.

Haha. But much like your husband I lack in the confidence department. Theres always the video games that I have where I get to kill people and feel good about it.

I did find though that when I'm using my heart for anything that isn't dark I forget that I have any anxiety. Like when I'm writing romances I feel wonderful.

Thats what I should be doing right now actually. I still didn't finish that story I came here to do research for. Made the good mistake of signing myself up.

click to expand


I had crippling social anxiety when I was younger, not so crippling anymore but, definitely hasn't gone completely away. The only way I know how to deal with it and the only thing that has helped (I've never done counseling or taken meds for it) is to just put myself out there. Work jobs where I have to interact with people. Again, this is what I've found works for me, better than drinking, which I had done in the past. Anyway, that's just my two cents
Wait, what thread?
I don't think she's really upset with any of you. I just think that she wants to spend as much time as she possibly can with her gf, so since she's just going to her gf's place instead of just bringing her home.
I think you should really take your time with this one to figure out if things really have changed. Why not start from scratch, like going on dates and such? Also, I see you mentioned he's not into putting things all onto the table but he's going to have to deal with doing that at some point if you really want to move on, into another relationship with him or continue to be single.

Not sure how much couples therapy works or if either of you would be willing to try it but if your marriage was really that volatile than I think it's worth a shot. Also keep in mind that some personality traits of certain people will never change because that's just who they are. Are you willing to deal with that? Ideally what do you want out of this if you do get back together? What are you willing to put up with? And what aren't willing to put up with?
I agree with leogirl, and honestly I wouldn't waste my time on a guy who barely initiates contact anyway.
AAAAAAH! Cappies, my loves! Been with my cap coming up on 4 years now. It just keeps getting better. We're saving up to get our own place, then get married and have babies. We definitely take on some very traditional gender roles. He's very protective and incredibly supportive. He makes sure that he provides me with anything I want or need. I'm very supportive as well but I also cook and clean a lot. Which is something I never thought I'd ever care to do for someone because, I come from a very traditional family and was always opposed to such forced gender roles.

Like Cancerita said, the passion is definitely there and the sex is good and plenty

There is one thing I will say, it really depends (at least for my situation) on the maturity level of both parties. I found that when we met, it was very hard to understand each other emotionally which lead to a lot of problems. But as we started to grow, instead of growing further apart we've been growing closer together.
The other thing too, is that I always expect the other person to not be effected whatsoever by it.
Posted by shellshocker
I just returned from a 3 week *silent period*. This one was relatively short and I received minimal slack for the disappearance. Well... almost.

There are always consequences for these MIA sessions. Hurt feelings, misunderstandings and the like so it's not like we can just get away with it. The Piper must be paid.


Yeah, I'm definitely trying now to be a bit more aware of the fact that I could be hurting someones feelings. Even if that's not the intention.
I've been described by a good number of people as elusive. Never really considered myself to be, till I realized how much I duck in and out of people's lives. One moment I could be around you all the time but, just as quickly as I had appeared, I disappear. Only to come back, at maximum 2 or 3 months later. I'm not like this with people I date. But even my closest of friends, I'll take "time off". Best example, my aqua fem. best friend. We hung out nearly every day over the summer but after a month of constantly seeing her I ducked out. Not that I found her annoying or couldn't stand to be around her, my focus just shifted elsewhere. It's been so bad that my other best friend, a cap, told me he felt he was boring me and that's why I wasn't around. Wasn't the case at all, I felt really bad. Even with family I can be incredibly distant at times. Any other cancers like this?
I'm a water sign with a cap and it's definitely been the best relationship I've ever had. Wasn't like that in the beginning, took a lot of work. Mostly in terms of communication and the fact that we were both immature. I have a cap moon and find that as conflicting as it is with my sun, in an odd way it balances things out for me. So that probably helps? It's funny because I find he's a lot more mushy than I am. I just find it uncomfortable, but as time has gone by he's made me feel more comfortable with tapping into my uber hopeless romantic side.
3.8 million dollars?! I want 3.8 million dollars...
Like pubutter said, I also come off as icy and aloof. I've been asked a few times while out walking to smile because I looked angry/mean. In the past the few aries men I've dated couldn't figure me out when they were getting to know me and were convinced I wasn't at all interested.
Honestly you really shouldn't care considering what he put you through and the fact that well, you guys don't speak anymore anyway. He probably saw that you moved on and decided to do the same. Either way, you really shouldn't give it too much thought. I mean, unless you want him back or something...