In need of some cancerian insight

Cancer guy and I dated for 1 year, broke up (he went back to his old girlfriend) and six weeks later he's back. I still had strong feelings for him and took him back. Two months later he's acting distant again. I question him and said that if he had changed his mind about us, I understood and we could go our separate ways. He said to me —no that is not what this is — I would never do anything like that to you again.?? Well, long story short — he lied and I broke up with him. I told him that given the circumstances, all of the lies and blatant disrespect that he had for my feelings, that I was done and NO we could not remain friends.
Unfortunately, we work together. For the first few months he pouted, then he became angry with me and then he backed off, we remained cordial saying hi and bye to each other in passing. However, now, a year later, out of nowhere, he is back to speaking to me and acting like nothing has happened. Its hard to describe, but he is acting as if he just met me. It started by him asking me obvious questions — you know questions he already knew the answers too. I was polite and answered them but did not engage in any type of conversation. Yet, over the last few days, it has become obvious that he thinks we are friends again.
This type of behavior has my Libra mind perplexed, but I want to be fair and not judgemental. So please, enlighten me: Do you think there is any sincerity in his actions and can't directly say he's sorry . . . or is this some sort of game for revenge?

Sorry to hear that :/. It could be either or the two honestly, but I think he probably wants to just start over as friends and put the whole situation in the past~ Well, atleast that's what I would do, but I don't have a lot of experience with Cancer men

i don't think he wants to deal with it. it's water under the bridge. i think he just wants to forget about it. he has probably pushed it to the corner of his mind. he probably wants to be a real friend and keep it moving.

Thanks for the input guys. Maybe the problem lies with me, but I don't think I can be friends with someone who disrespects me and doesn't apologize. I don't want to keep harping on the past either,I've moved on; but he knows he hurt me badly and for me to accept friendship without an explanation or apology would be giving him permission to do it again, again and again. And I deserve more than that.

Posted by Claro de Luna
Plus, wouldn't you only be giving him the chance to do that again if you became intimate in that way again rather than just friends??

Claro de luna - you are absolutely correct. I realized later last night that I may have implied that I would ever take him back. I won't. What I was trying to say, was, that I'm afraid that by speaking to him again, (even on a friendship basis)without him ever apologizing, I would be giving him the impression that he CAN disrespect me and I would be ok with it. You know kind of like "its ok, I'll still be your friend . . .even if you treat me like a doormat."

But who knows - maybe its like you said, maybe he will build up the courage to apologize later. We'll have to see.

Yeah I dumbed my Libra after I found out he was cheating and lying. Then I thought it was all my fought so I tried to get back with him. Turns out he wasn't worth so I let it go again. Libra and Cancer are on two different wavelengths. Best to let it go.

Thanks LunarMaiden - in this case, he (the cancer) was the liar and the cheater, so I moved on. Yet he is the one that keeps coming back around. I don't really understand that behavior, especially since when he did have me - he cheated on me. Why not just keep moving on and leave me alone?

OctoberGirl it looks like he has regrets. The grass isn't always greener. Sometimes Cancers have a difficult time letting go and need help getting closure. I got closure from my ex when I called him and we discussed how we really felt toward each other. I've be right ever since. It's also a possibilty he was looking for something else and didn't find it so he turns to what's familar. Perhaps he's trying to right a wrong. Did you ask why he has come back?

I think you have to ask yourself, does he make you happy? Are you happy with him NOW? Are you confused, are you frustrated, do you trust him? Can you forgive the lies and cheating and actually move on together? You being confused right now is natural, you really do care for him but can you trust him again? Is he worth another chance? Has he changed? Will he cheat again? Is this guy worth not seeing other men who are more worthy of your affections and who may make you happier and treat you better? Before you go back ask yourself is it what you really want. Perhaps see him on a friendshp basis only for now as you date other men. Believe me when other men are in the picture it cools down emotion and helps you think clearly. Especially if those guys are hot and treating you great. Good luck OctoberGirl.

Posted by LunarMaiden
OctoberGirl it looks like he has regrets. The grass isn't always greener. Sometimes Cancers have a difficult time letting go and need help getting closure. I got closure from my ex when I called him and we discussed how we really felt toward each other. I've be right ever since. It's also a possibilty he was looking for something else and didn't find it so he turns to what's familar. Perhaps he's trying to right a wrong. Did you ask why he has come back?

I think you have to ask yourself, does he make you happy? Are you happy with him NOW? Are you confused, are you frustrated, do you trust him? Can you forgive the lies and cheating and actually move on together? You being confused right now is natural, you really do care for him but can you trust him again? Is he worth another chance? Has he changed? Will he cheat again? Is this guy worth not seeing other men who are more worthy of your affections and who may make you happier and treat you better? Before you go back ask yourself is it what you really want. Perhaps see him on a friendshp basis only for now as you date other men. Believe me when other men are in the picture it cools down emotion and helps you think clearly. Especially if those guys are hot and treating you great. Good luck OctoberGirl.

LunarMaiden - Confusion is an understatment! All the questions you asked - I have asked myself and me being a Libra I flip from one answer to the next.

But to answer your question, no, I haven't asked him why he's coming back around. Right now, he's keeping the conversation very casual and I've been cordial and replied but I won't let the conversation go too far. I guess I'm waiting to see what he does next. If he pushes further - then I will ask him why he's coming back around.

Thanks for you support.

Posted by MoonMan
October girl
You seem like a woman who is maybe aloof with your inner emotions, with a kind of logical, 'matter of fact' ability to step back from things to observe and analyze without being so emotional like a lot of women. Particularly after you had made a decision in your own mind about a course of action with your crab.
Your detached, intellectual approach and/or diplomatic reasoning would have probably confused him (going by what you have posted here).
He probably had trouble dealing with that and figuring out why it really all went wrong. This would have caused his mood changes toward you (most likely). Maybe he's never had a relationship with your kind before?
He could also be a crabby selfish type who needs a few lessons in life.

I'm a Cancer Sun with Libra Moon
🙂

Ah, a crab who thinks like a libra! Very insightful Moonman - You have me completely figured out. Any suggestions on how I should handle this situation?

Thanks MoonMan. I do get confused; but, when you get right down to it, I can't imagine anything he can say or do that would allow me to ever trust him again. So, no, even though I am still somewhat emotionally attached - I WON'T be getting back together with him. I'm moving forward and working on letting go . . . COMPLETELY.

What's the saying? Fool me once - shame on you. Fool Me twice - shame on me. Fool me three times - well heck I would just be plain stupid right? 😄