Is this normal or crazy?

I'm an Aqua female and my girl is Cancer. I'm crazy about her but there is something she does that I really don't understand. About a month ago, she shut down on me for about a week. Finally, she told me she was jealous of how I act around a female Scorp friend. Whatever. She'll have to learn to deal because I will not give up my friendships because she has some kind of issue with it. Then last night she shut down on me again (put on headphones, curt answers, I walk in/she walks out of the room, etc). She was in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner and I went over to give her a smooch. I rubbed her back and asked if she was ok. She said yes then said no but that she was not ready to talk about it. I asked if her mood had anything to do with me and she said, in a raised voice, "I said I'm not ready to talk about it". I grabbed a white towel and waved it. Told her I surrender and went back to cooking. I tried conversation a couple of times and her responses were short so I gave her space. When we were going to bed, I asked her if we could talk and resolve whatever was going on. She told me that when she told me she wasn't ready to talk about it, I kept on and on and on, badgering her. She said when she told me something was wrong I got an attitude and wouldn't talk to her. She said that I need to stop thinking it's always all about me. (I was just asking if her mood had anything to do with me so I could try to resolve whatever was bothering her) She starts yelling at me that what she is upset about is that everytime her son (he's 15 and Aqua) and I are talking and she walks in the room, we shut up and one of us leaves the room. I told her I was leaving the room when she got home from work because I was going to cook dinner, but she cut me off and said this happens all the time. She said her son doesn't talk to her anymore because he talks to me. She said she was glad he has me to talk to (?) but he is her son too (he's not my son) and she wants to know what's going on in his life too. I told her I didn't understand that last statement. They have a really good relationship and I wouldn't do anything intentionally to ruin it. But I think she's creating stuff in her head. Sometimes I think she just likes being mad. Seriously.

I know she had a busy busy week and she's really tired, plus her back was bothering her. I offered to rub her back and stroke her to sleep but she said she was done for the night. Is this Cancer crazy or crazy crazy?

This sounds like the crazy world of cancer...some seem to run hot & cold...the best thing to know is when cancer is upset about ANYTHING give them their space..don't question, don't worry about why..just let them deal with it on their own..space and time will bring them to you =) I've learned this in a short time with my crab...jealousy may too play a factor,insecurity maybe..just love her & give her her space and when she moody..stir clear! She'll come back around

It sounds normal...for someone with insecurity issues.

But they will be her issues, not yours, so it's up to her to sort them.

As for being Cancer - sure, it's up and down, hot and cold and then some.

Btw, if someone says they're not ready to talk, leave them alone until they are because otherwise you'll get a pile of pissed off resistance and it'll end up in an argument.

It's totally crazy. You should stop it.

Posted by mr.crabby
It's totally crazy. You should stop it.

yea, that's my thinking too. but, if this is who she is, then it's something i will adapt to (or not).

she apologized the next evening. she said she is feeling emotions she has never felt so intensely and they are making her feel crazy (really?). she said she knows her moods can be a handful and i don't deserve to be treated that way (no joke). i told her we are just having growing pains and as we go we'll get stronger, but that we have to communicate. she understands and says it's getting easier to vocalize. she told me the last time she did this that she needs time to process. i totally get that and i gave her time and space this time but when she was pissy she said i badgered her. so i asked her, 'when i feel the push, like you want me to go away, i really shouldn't". she smiled her sweet smile and said "yes". i said, "but i get the feeling you don't want to be around me". she said, "yes, but i don't want you to go away".

LOL she's a complete lunababy

this is all handleable IF i know what i'm dealing with. we've known each other for 11 years, have been intimate for 2.5 years, and have lived together for 3 months. i still say it's growing pains

Posted by PurrHiss
She feels left out. That's really what it boils down to. She thinks you're more interested in talking to your friends, and that you and her son are more interested in talking to each other than her. That's clearly why she's upset. You need to convince her that you're only interested in being with her, and that her son loves her like crazy. Tell her that he's just more comfortable talking to someone who isn't related to him about certain things because he's a teenager and embarrassed. And you also need to convince her that you're only in love with her, and have absolutely no romantic feelings for your friends.

Bingo! Such great insight!

Posted by PurrHiss
She feels left out. That's really what it boils down to. She thinks you're more interested in talking to your friends, and that you and her son are more interested in talking to each other than her. That's clearly why she's upset. You need to convince her that you're only interested in being with her, and that her son loves her like crazy. Tell her that he's just more comfortable talking to someone who isn't related to him about certain things because he's a teenager and embarrassed. And you also need to convince her that you're only in love with her, and have absolutely no romantic feelings for your friends.

this is good advice, but as nzaqua said these are her issues to sort out, not mine. as for convincing her that i'm only in love with her, i told he that the night she told me she was jealous of my female friend. "I'm in love with you" was the only response i knew to say. i told her i love her the way i know how and time will show her that i truly do adore her

thanks everyone for the input 🙂

Posted by mr.crabby
It's totally crazy. You should stop it.

she tried to stir it up last night but i didnt get on the crazy train. i left her completely alone and was uber friendly and happy when she did talk to me. when she got in bed, i snuggled up close, told her how much i missed not catching up with her at the end of the day (she told me i was the one not talking to her 😄 ... uhboy), then treetrunked her. she fell asleep in my arms while i stroked her body. i win 🙂

Anyone in this world can seem crazy to us. Pick your favorite OMG HOW CRAZY THAT PERSON, they might not be a Cancer, so what does that mean if we automatically say Cancer = Crazy or Crazy = Cancer.

She is a Cancer, you already said and did what you would do to anyone regardless of what their astrological sign is. You tried to speak with them, you waved a white flag, you said to yourself "well that person is gonna have to deal".

She is the person you are currently with, and you have to evaluate if you want to continue being with them or not, based on how the situation makes you feel/think and that sounds like a reasonable thing to do.

I hate a lot of the Scorpio traits of my ex-Scorpio but I hate the things they did if they were anybody else. And I got nowhere saying "all Scorpios do negative things" or "this small Scorpio thing annoys me so much", I got somewhere by thinking about the value I put on the action, discuss with the person if they are willing to be willing to come up with a solution to what annoys me about them, and if that didn't get a positive result I evaluated if I want to continue in the relationship or not.

As far as saying she is unreasonably jealous is something you are saying and trying to reinforce in your mind. Jealousy and envy are complicated emotions and saying you refute all jealousy without examining what might be underlying emotions that you can relate to then if you feel jealousy is simple to reject, then reject it always and not put up with it. Don't ever try to examine if you might have been inconsiderate, then. Just tell the person, see ya. OR! try to be understanding, which I think you are trying to do, and if it works it works, if it doesn't maybe let go of the outcome as just it not working out, and not just a Crazy = Cancer thing.

Wish you the best! To emote or not, to think or not, to act or not always is a reoccurring question that comes to mind for me, so yeah, I wish things were easier for each of us too.