Issues of Commitment even though he says I love u

8 months ago my friend and I got very close, became best friends, then with benefits and over the last two months have been saying I love you. We are not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. He is 30 and I am only the second girl he said I love you too. The first was a 5 year girlfriend (his only girlfriend). They broke up 2.5 years ago, but I know it broke his heart.

The issue came up about us recently and he said he was exclusive to me, but could not commit yet to BF/GF. That he was not looking for anyone and loved me. I then heard from a friend and I don't know if it was third party or how long ago that he said it or if it was just interpereted by freind this way, but that he didnt want to commit b/c he wanted to be able to say single in case he met someone and wanted to date or be with them. I wrote him a letter explaining that going slow was ok for me, but going slow b/c of being able to keep options open was not b/c it would hurt me so deeply. That I wasn't being needy to have needs, but if he genuinely loved me I needed him to get over some of his fears for me. I told him how I felt about him- it was heartfelt . He came to get me for a memorial day party and said he could not respond properly because he was overcome with emotion, he loved me, he didn't want us to end and he didn't want me to feel the way I do. When he dropped me off the next day, he said he would call me on Tuesday and has not called me since.

I think I made a big mistake and left him a vm today saying I hope he didn't feel like he was being pushed or under an ultimatum. That the I love you part of us is only 2 months new of our relationship and I am not as concerned about a title, as I am that we are happy/having adventures/communicating etc and doing things our way. And that I don't want us to end either. That I love him and just thinking that he wants to keep his options open, if he still feels that way, makes me scared. No repsonse yet.

I don't know what to do from here. I genuinely love this Cancer. But, I am so disappointed that he has not called and don't understand it, especially if he said he didn't want things to end. Maybe he changed his mind, or maybe there was a but after that he didn't say like but.. I can't give you what you want. I think it is a huge deal he is saying I love you more than any title.. maybe I ama Leo fool. Please advise next steps.

Men can be pigs sometimes. Honestly, if he wants to keep his "options open" and yet he "loves you" obviously one of those is false. If a man loves a woman, he'd want to make sure no other man can have her ,i.e... call you his gf. Sounds like he might care a lot about you but his deep gut is telling him you two aren't meant to be. Sorry honey, but I say you should move on to a man who considers you much more than himself.

Posted by amethyst2002
Pfft. What a dick. Ditch his ass and don't look back. He just wants the benefits without the commitment so he can still go play around as he pleases. Eff that noise. Even if a friend hadn't overheard what was said, I could have told you that just from his lack of wanting to commit. When a guy is getting all the goods for free, without commitment, what makes you think he's gonna rush in now? That's basically such a notorious story for guys who want the goods but no commitment so they can continue to play around. You basically become his go to for sex and benefits while he remains single. As soon as a better option rolls around, one that he wants to make a girlfriend, watch how fast he's gone. Why do you think he's not calling now? He's been caught/confronted about his flaky bullshit and now he's hiding/running away.

Boo on him and any guys that do this. Boo on any chicks who stick around and put up with it.

yep. dump him!