Oh God... Advice PLEASE!

LOL, so after all was said and done with the Hardwood Floors forum, I've got another serious question here.

My Cancer bf got invited to a housewarming party on Saturday night. It's for a guy he kind-of knows through work and meeting out at events and what not. So he'd like to go and asked me to come along. We bought a really nice plant for the guy to bring as a gift.

Anyway... I was checking out the invite on Facebook and my BF's ex is ALSO going to be there. AWKWARD!!! This girl already hates my guts. Years ago when they were dating I went up to my boyfriend at a nightclub (this is before I really knew him) and was like "Hey, I think you workout at my gym!" We started chit-chatting when she came over, grabbed him and something to him (which, I found out when we started dating, was something to the effect of "That girl works out at our gym and if I ever see you talking to her again I'll kill you.") She found out we were dating a couple months ago and called up my bf and was like "Well, just so you know I think she's beneath you" and all this other crap...

I should mention the ex is an Aries, and the reason they broke up is because she was ALWAYS pulling scenes like that, ruining evenings, bullying him and being super-posessive.

Anyway, how should I react during all this. He still calls her up every now and then and chats with her on the phone even though I know in the deepest part of my heart he doesn't like her anymore. Should I just ignore her and go chat with someone else when they end up having to say hello to each other? Should I be a mega bitch and do things to make her mad like run my fingers through his hair and stuff?

I'm a Pisces and being a bitch unprevoked is sorta against my nature... which is what he said he likes about me. Grrr...

Thoughts?

I don't think I'd add fuel to the fire! I'm sure your BF will feel awkward with her there as well knowing she doesn't care for you. Don't be surprised if she tries to make a move. But, if your BF isn't interested in her then you have no worries. And don't act possessive and jealous, he may feel that you are too much like her if you do.

case and point, lildol. i'd go with what she said. he likes u because ur not like her. he got away from mega-bitch tendencies for a reason. u just play it cool and let him handle his business when she approaches him. being an aries she will probably do it too. even go as far as to leave his side every now and then and mingle with other ppl. when couples can do that it shows there's a level of trust. if u do see the 2 talking it up don't go running up immediately either. let them talk. that's all it is. one thing u have to know about aries is that they are uber competetive. if she sees u acting like u view her as a threat then she will only up her game. the way to piss her off, and make her feel like she's lost the game, is to take her in stride and appear unmoved. even if u do feel a tinge of jealousy don't give into it. if she tries to start an altercation with u, be very blunt and direct with her, but keep ur tone of voice dead calm. this is along the lines of something i would say,"look, i understand that u have issues with cancer and i being together. i'm sorry but it is what it is. this isn't the appropriate time or place to be discussing any of this either. we're at a party, and we should respect the host, so let's just take it easy and have fun." if she is unreasonable then just walk away to signal that the game is over. no matter what though, even if u have to fake it at first, always appear unmoved by her actions.

i have a couple of close aries friends, one male one female, and they are both the most competetive and aggressive ppl i've ever known. i know how to keep them in check though. that's why they've remained my friends for many years. it's a little exhausting to be around them because they always seem to be on edge, playing that game, and wanting a challenge. i have their absolute respect though. the leo in me is super laid back, warm, and friendly but they know i won't put up with any of their bullshit. they like that. they have to see u as a worthy and formidable opponent. if u can keep up with them, and give them that challenge they thrive on, they will end up actually being nice to u sometimes. that's probably why his ex says ur beneath him. she is dominant; an alpha female. she doesn't see herself in u and doesn't think u can handle him the way she thinks he ought to be handled. she sees u as weak. in a twisted way, she wants u to prove her wrong.

"so let's just take it easy and have fun." if she is unreasonable then just walk away to signal that the game is over. no matter what though, even if u have to fake it at first, always appear unmoved by her actions."

I have to agree with that statement, to show Alpha qualities you have to RISE above obstacles which includes other women by being confident and sure of yourself no matter what's going on, never show your emotions on your sleeve around women like her or your road kill.

An Alpha female will eat you alive IF she's truly Alpha, being an Aries she most likely is. Look at it like this, YOU HAVE HIM, she doesn't so there is no reason to feel awkward, don't buy into that mess she told your boyfriend about you being beneath him, he doesn't believe it but IF you lose your cool, allow her to move you into this low position by making you jealous, angry, upset, annoyed he will begin to question the validity of her statement.

He will be watching your behavior, he will be looking to see if you can hold your own in social settings...holding your own socially is very important.

If he broke up with her because of the drama and making scenes all the time then I suggest you play nice. As a cancer I wouldn't enjoy my current boyfriend making a scene with an ex. I'd just walk away from them both after telling them to grow the hell up.

I suggest you act with quiet dignity. She can bitch and be as dramatic as she likes. All you need to do is focus on your boyfriend and act like you're completely secure in your relationship.

If an ex of mine was causing a scene and my boyfriend understood how uncomfortable drama-bitch sessions can make me especially around lots of people, then I'd love him even more. I would be completely head over heels if his reaction to the ex being dramatic was something simple and quietly confident like, "You can say what you want. I love her and I know she loves me." - ahh security and understanding.

That aries girl seems like she has no life. How the hell do you have time to watch someone 24/7? sheet. Just be your laid back mysterious pisces self it should be fine and ya being dramatic isn't in your guys nature...to off in your own world to ever notice lol

Let us know how it goes...

Yeah, I want to know myself.

Soooooo... after all this worrying and fussing, and getting a new haircut and a new outfit to really a) knock my bf's socks off, and b) make sure I was looking good at the party in front of cookiemonster-la-rue... She didn't even show up!!! I had a plan in my head just to play it super cool and if she came over to speak to him I was going to hit up the kitchen to mix myself another drink, but nope - not there...

That being said, some other girl did try and hit on him while he was lined up for the bathroom. She came over an was chatting with him about god knows what. I was talking with someone else about 5 feet away. I looked over and she whispered something in his ear, and he looked over and pointed at me and was like "Yep, her! She's the best thing ever!" The other girl took off pretty fast after that...

Awwwww