ok guys, riddle me this, what should i do when...

i've said something, completely innocuous to my ears, and it's managed to get into his head and send him spiralling into a pout?

during normal conversation, i might say something that has absolutely no sense of hurtfulness, but hey, i AM an aries.........
i go on, all chatty and just bounding around, talking and babbling on only to look over and notice he's tightened up. his eyes have changed, that chin has risen, mouth tightened, all insulted looking but strongly denying, in THAT voice, that anything is wrong. while something is obviously hugely wrong.
first, why deny he's upset? why not just look at me and say: "you said X, and it pissed me off because..........." no. i get denial. and the silent treatment. the cold shoulder.

what's my best course of action here? i usually just get mystefied and shrug and wander off to do my own thing and let him simmer. is that the right thing to do? i refuse to feed it. he seems to get over it, but i don't get this behaviour. and from what i've read, it's endemic to cancers. give me some insight folks.

Hmmmm well I find that the more you try to fix it, the worse hehehee I think they get over it pretty quickly, just leave 'em alone. Right crabby folks—


🙂

I've known my crabby for what seems like ages and never ever ever ever has he rubbed anything I've ever done or said in my face. We're both somewhat passive-aggressive (term of the day lol) so it's easy to call each other out when one of us is in that game plan. He does the silent treatment when he feels bothered by one of those things that you know is too stupid to start a fight over so you simmer in silence by yourself instead (we both do it) It's better to leave them alone. He never stays mad for long. If yesterday I got him mad, he will cut contact and today really is a new day for both of us. I'm actually the same way... IF he drops it and knows better than to keep talking lol

I wonder if those similarities are because be have some of the same signs in our charts...? Like for example I have a scorp rising and he has a scorp moon, I have an aries venus and he has an aries mars. Kinda makes sense 🙂

Anyway, point is, I think it's just better to give them breathing time when their angry.

oh wow. aries venus and mars combo. i was just reading about that. that should actually make it good between you. apparently, a woman's mars dictates what sort of man she likes and a man's venus does for him. my guy and i work that way, as my mars wants a strong self controlled proud man, and he is, and his venus wants a chatty, multi faceted flirty gal, which i am. course, i could be totally wrong. happens alot!!

i did the leaving him alone and not talking to him thing two nights ago, and it seemed to work. i read him over the pouting thing last night at dinner. he laughed and said in the "i do but i'm gonna fib voice" i never do that! basically admitting it without admitting it. gotta say, it gets on my nerves, but he doesn't bore me. funny, that's one of his biggest concerns. that he'll bore me. that i'll cheat cause he's not exciting enough. cancer men and their insecurities. i'm very conscious of deflecting those in him. i looooove making him purr tho!

let us defuse ourselves. others interfering will just be looked at as intruding and that makes it worse. we're private people and we dont' like people trying to analyze us without our consent.

hmmmm. well that's interesting. i tend to analyze him, that's true. then he tells me i'm wrong. even when i know i'm right. ok. nice to know. why do cancers want to hide from the person who loves them so much tho? just need a respite now and then? i'm so open and out there.

i don't think it's so much a cancer thing as it is a guy thing that they just like to deal with problems alone.

what can u solve alone.......u need to communicate feelings so they are considered.

i have the same quirk in my cancer he can get offended by something thats not related to him but he thinks is, i just try to find out what quirked him and then reassure him of my context of what i was saying, or find a completly different way to express my feelings....
sometimes i think they want you to have no feelings, they expect you to have thick skin, senseless meaness hurts the sting get the point accross that the cancer is hurt. I don't want to feed his mood and i hate ignoring him, my heart feels his pain. w

why do they hide from us,? why can they not see we love then and have only their best interest in mind, we speak from the heart to share our wisedom, experiences and open there eyes to a somewhat close mind of thought, ususally negative.... i am very optomistic and i hope it balances him.

i laughed they think we could get bored with them...heeehhee dont see that, maybe wearing us out.....i think he could be bored with me

THE BEST THING that you can do that will generate the most positive result is to just recognize what kinds of statements on particular issues upset him and just don't "go there".