so confused and frustrated.....

Okay so I have no idea what is going on between me and this cancer male. I am a Pisces and I feel connected to him,but I do not understand his actions at all. I feel like he is leading me on and I am honestly so pissed off ,hurt, frustrated, and confused. He is a young cancer male(19) and I recently found out he have never had a gf before. We are at the same school together and we are friends. Because of the fact we are friends and that we have the same friends we see each other every day. We become close roughly two months ago. We flirt ALOT and sometimes he would show interest and sometimes he would act like he couldn't care less. He once told me that if he was going to get an apartment he would only be comfortable living with me and another person who is his friend of seven years and this was roughly one month after we started talking. I do not initiate any contact first, normally is him texting me about having lunch or whatever. I have tried ignoring him, and when I ignore him he tries to get my attention. I am so annoyed and I just want to know what are the sure signs of a cancer being interested vs not interested.

oh btw he has his venus in gemini if that helps and he has a leo moon and his mercury is in cancer.

venus in gemini usually means the person likes variety, intellectual stimulation, nothing too emotionally heavy, flirtatious...not a placement notorious for stability, but whatever. with a cancer sun the odds improve.

what do you want from him? why worry about what's going on with his side, what's going on with yours? you've yet to say how you feel about him. you aren't strictly friends if you're flirting. he doesn't owe you anything and you're confused because you're expecting something from him that he isn't even aware he has to give.

how about this? if you like him, spend more time with him. lol, there are no sure signs with a cancer imo. with any guys. feelings fluctuate, someone else catches their eye...they go through shit at home and can't be bothered with girls for a spell. take the expectations and pressure off yourself. do you like him or want him to like you? i'm sure you know cancers are very intuitive...as the same element, there's not a much pisces and cancer can hide from each other...

Oh gosh another woman falling in love with a cancer male before he's exposed his true feelings which = heartbreak...

Take Nimbue's advice and please stop placing so much pressure on this situation/guy, take it for what it is...NOTHING (right now) and enjoy yourself and it'll probably turn into what you want at some point and if it doesn't then get a boyfriend or start dating other guys add your boyfriends/male admirers into the group dynamic and he'll back off for sure and that'll put an end to his ambivalent behavior and you 2 will be just friends again minus the ambivalence.

Yes, I do like him and I want him to like me too. I am pretty sure he knows that I like him, however he doesn't take any actions and sometimes he act like a total ass. We do spend a lot of time together. For awhile I was always with him unless I had class, but recently I have backed off a bit just cause I honestly don't know what he want from me. I feel like he is leading me on because if he knows that I like him and if he doesn't like me back then he shouldn't be acting the way he is with me. Our flirting is so bad that multiple times people have said something about it... like, you guys are so cute together, you guys are like a married couple... etc. We also bicker playfully a lot and he teases me constantly. I just want advice... how should I proceed from this point on with him? How do I act around him? What should I do?

Do nothing, go date other guys, pay attention to the men that are ACTING on his on attraction for you instead of spending so much of your energy thinking about a guy that's not doing anything, you will only feel confused and frustrated and angry so to AVOID these feelings stop worrying about men that don't step up, you'll feel less frustrated and happier or you could confront him on his behavior, ask him directly but confronting a cancer head on is like going into battle LOL so now your back at doing nothing, don't worry about it, go out on other dates with other guys and get on with your life, only give value to men that are actually DOING something about the attraction he feels for you, don't get so involved in male stuff b/c men are men and you can't understand them anymore than they can understand women or you'll go nuts.

Posted by tiki33
Oh gosh another woman falling in love with a cancer male before he's exposed his true feelings which = heartbreak...

please believe, this is the crux.^^^you're getting emotionally invested without knowing his true feelings...and that in itself is creating expectations which may not be fufilled. then what? you're a pisces, you're idealising and fantasising over something which hasn't come to pass yet.

Posted by CancerLover13
Yes, I do like him and I want him to like me too. I am pretty sure he knows that I like him, however he doesn't take any actions and sometimes he act like a total ass. We do spend a lot of time together. For awhile I was always with him unless I had class, but recently I have backed off a bit just cause I honestly don't know what he want from me. I feel like he is leading me on because if he knows that I like him and if he doesn't like me back then he shouldn't be acting the way he is with me. Our flirting is so bad that multiple times people have said something about it... like, you guys are so cute together, you guys are like a married couple... etc. We also bicker playfully a lot and he teases me constantly. I just want advice... how should I proceed from this point on with him? How do I act around him? What should I do?

click to expand

whoa...this is even more assumptions and projection. this is why water and water is so messy. communicate! come back down to earth, lol. he hasn't done anything wrong thus far. you're reacting like this because you've already decided in your head that he 'knows' how you feel. he can only assume! like you are! also, cancer men don't like doing what's expected of them...if he suspects you're expecting him to make a move, i'd bet my life he won't. where's caesar k, lol. i think he'd give you a better heads up

Posted by Pecheresse
lol cancer men. sighs.

haha it's bad crab juju xD

I agree with everyone. I dated a Cancer male before. They will reveal themselves in due time if the attraction is there. I went on and dated other people (this can go one of both ways if he finds out) he will go ahead and step up or leave you be. Like tiki says(hi Tiki33!) go on with your life because not knowing will only create anger, frustration and expectations which are not healthy if he hasn't revealed how he feels (been there done that). Just keep doing you even if you like him and worry about the men who are showing you interest. You can ask but he probably will not be direct with his answer.

I did go on a couple of dates with other guys and when he found out he was angry, but not in the expressive way. Like one of my friend just quickly mention this other guy and he was in a middle of a conversation and then all of a sudden he went dead silent, and he wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the time during dinner. Also, another time my other friend brought up the other guy up again and he did the exact same thing. However, he still didn't do anything and I feel like after he found out about this other guy he completely backed off. Ugh! Idk he has his good moments and bad moments, before he found out about the guy he was beginning to really open up to me. He's not a texter and he would text me the most random things. Also, he's a very private person and when he found out some good news I was the first one he shared it with. Idk I'm just so confused and frustrated and trust me I want to be done, but it's so hard!!

You are getting involved in his feelings which feed your imagination and you end up making it all up in your head and projecting it back onto him and expecting something from it, stop it, don't ever try to figure out cancer males or any male for that matter emotional process or you'll end up damn near checking yourself into the psyche ward.

If he's not doing anything to express to you that you mean something to him verbally then leave it alone, leave him with it all by himself so again as Nimbue pointed out you're pretty much making this all up in your head and creating this imaginary dynamic/relationship between the 2 of.

Until he actually opens up to you directly, share his thoughts and intentions then don't even worry about his behavior, stop paying attention to it b/c the more you pay attention to his mood swings and ambivalent text messaging the more you are at RISK of making up something that isn't mutual and doesn't exist, if he gets huffy about you dating SO WHAT, keep treating him like he's your friend and nothing else.

You have to take responsibility for getting swept up in this ambivalence with him and start to pull out of it or you are going to be a complete emotional mess and life's too short to sit around daily being emotionally swept up in this la la land ambivalent mess, go have fun, you are young and you have your whole life to deal with adult issues which include complicated bullshit from men..

You can't get your youth back so DON'T WASTE IT worrying about some guy that's mute and speaks in hieroglyphic male code. If someone spoke to you in Mandarin Chinese and you didn't understand the language would you sit around trying to figure out what they are saying NO you wouldn't and you know no matter what's being said in different ways you won't grasp the language so it goes the same for a man that isn't speaking in a language you can understand, so pretend he's speaking a language called Ambivalent, you don't understand Ambivalent and so you'd say ooops sorry I don't speak that language and you'd forget about it and move on well do that with him, you'll feel so much better and happier inside if you stop paying attention to men that you don't understand.

Ambivalent behavior is confusing and you don't speak that language so instead of getting upset b/c you wouldn't get upset at someone whose speaking a different language to you you probably say sorry I don't understand what you're saying and walk off and not think too much about it afterwards so don't get upset at him just move on until he chooses to be direct in a way that you can understand and ignore what you don't understand instead of getting confused and frustrated.

If he wants you, he will need to step up to the plate like the other guys have. Realize that, and you won't be frustrated anymore. You will accept the acquaintance for what it is: a little brooding boy who won't do what it takes to have you (if that's what he wants). Don't make it easy for him by pitying or worrying about his lack of balls, for heaven sake.

Posted by pathfinder
If he wants you, he will need to step up to the plate like the other guys have. Realize that, and you won't be frustrated anymore. You will accept the acquaintance for what it is: a little brooding boy who won't do what it takes to have you (if that's what he wants). Don't make it easy for him by pitying or worrying about his lack of balls, for heaven sake.

+1

yes to pathfinder, yes to tiki. extract yourself from the haze now. you're a pisces, he's a cancer. you've already run through the relationship in your head from first date to first dance but there's nothing concrete to back it up yet.

you'll continue to be disappointed and confused/frustrated if you indulge in this psychic ping pong match. as long as you get sucked in, this saga will roll on and on. somebody needs to give a relaity shot, it's better off you realise that now.

remember, he's a guy before he's a cancer. he's done nothing wrong so far except fail to live up to your expectations.

he gets jealous over other boys you date? dismiss it.
he blows hot and cold? dismiss it.
he flirts? he's a gem venus! dismiss it.

it's not your problem yet and if you look around this board, it's a common cancer mating ritual. so if you don't mind the ins and outs, carry on as you are. if you do, shake it off and put this situation on the backurner for now. it's not even relevant.

there may be potential between you, but it's nothing to fret over.

i feel like i've stepped onto the set of twilight xD

he flexed his eyelashes at me today...then he blinked really slowly...i think he likes me. and then he let me copy his homework...i think it's love

where's your venus? 😛

seriously, it's not hard to fall for a cancer man. but you're judging things based on potential, not reality. perspective...

aquarius

Lol! You women couldn't have broken this situation down any better lol!

I'm dealing with a similar issue as you are, CancerLover13! 😢 It really sucks.