So I'm not sure?

So with the cancer guy... I am afraid, maybe I am making an ass of myself, but I am attracted to this guy lol
I meet guys, there are guys approach me but hardly are there guys whom I find attractive. And I felt I should give it a try because I don't have butterflies that often.

I took down my online dating profile account (where I met this guy lol) about two weeks ago... and told him so.
(And he took down his account about a month after? I can't quite remember. My memory is failing me... lol He said there were way too many crazy women and had enough of them, plus busy with work, thus left the cyber dating field for good.)

Then I cut off guys I had been speaking to... there were about five guys, all of them made their first moves. I was speaking to them, because I always enjoy talking to people, learning about them... and of course, I was hoping that something more and good (romantic?) would come out of it.
The reason I decided to stop speaking to those guys was, not really because of this cancer guy, but I realized there was some pattern - that I keep dating guys who are after me, but the ones I quite don't find myself attracted to. I thought I was being passive. So, needed to break that pattern/habit.
I told the cancer guy that I was no longer speaking to other guys, saying I had no interests in them, and I realized I might need to be more active in terms of picking up dates.

Since then he has been acting very sweet. I was taken aback, to be honest. I still quite don't understand the reason for him being this way (sweet, I mean.) I wasn't expecting it at all.

He asks me about my day. We talk about movies, hobbies, current events, what's going on with our lives.
He has a good memory. I said something the night before, or a week ago, and later he asks me about those things I mentioned. Small, even insignificant things. Sometimes I even didn't remember whether I had said them or not. My ex was like that - he remembered every single thing I talked about. And there were a few other guys who were like that. And whether it ended up a long term relationship or not, with those men, there were never hard feelings towards each other. So I am leaning on thinking that this is a good sign... but then I'm not sure. Maybe I am being biased, or reading into things too much here.

He talks about future plans... which I am not so sure how to interpret, at the the moment lol Me being gemini I have a tendency to think that there's always possibility that things, futures change. No one knows what's in store, and my mind changes lots (adapting to those changeable future), so I refrain myself from talking about them unless I am very sure of myself. Though I am expressive with what I am thinking and feeling at this very moment.

Another thing I've noticed that he does things I asked of him, and stopped doing things I'd expressed my disliking for. I like that about him and hoping maybe these are signs that he cares about me, but then maybe he is merely being polite and respectful lol

I think it's too early to say, so for now, I decided to let things run their course. Hopefully, my butterflies don't get killed so soon lol I'd be so sad... 😢

Hey, he seems like a typical cancer. I am a cancer girl, obviously every cancer has their own personalities. But when i am in a relationship, it is just my nature to stop doing the things that might bother the guy i am talking to. It is a good sign. He probably started being sweet to you because he respects you the fact that ( to him at least) you are only talking to him and giving him the attention. We cancers ( at least i know i do) love feeling special. I know if someone told me they dont talk to any girls but its obvious they talk to me. I would feel really special and automatically become more affectionate. But the whole future plans might seem a little risky. Sometimes we become very imaginative, so that leads us to have high hopes and since future isn't predicted, those hopes might or might not come crushing down. So its best to just discuss the present rather than the future.

I really hope i made some sense there and this helped! 🙂

Thank you for your reply, keeranK! 🙂

I forgot to mention lol but it's not like this guy and I are in a relationship. We live on the other side of the world lol so that's another reason I all become -—?? unsure —??- lol We haven't even met in person! And I don't think I would be/like to be in a relationship when I haven't seen someone in person. Actually as I am writing this even now I am not so sure what I want from this lol I want him but I'm not all dreamy and such lol there is physical distance between this guy and me which is really pulling me back. I was really going to walk because of it, thinking this was not going to work out at all (let's be reasonable, I said to myself lol), I stopped talking to him, but then he contacted me. I hope that him contacting me wasn't because he didn't want to lose any one once he knew (I heard typical cancer traits that they do not like to let go of things, or people?), then I would not want to continue this thing, cause that wouldn't be helping me at all.

This guy disappeared on me for like two months lol and came back. Then another disappearing act for a week after some argument. I told him just disappearing like poof! wasn't so very nice and I did not like it much. Since then he's been around (and I tried to walk away from him once.)

Like I wrote before (I post a few other threads on cancer forum), I am not so sure about this whole thing. I mean, the distance. My head tells me to drop this all, but then as I wrote above, it's been a while since I had those fluttering butterflies in my stomach. I guess I will just enjoy these rare feelings which visited me 🙂

This sounds really sweet! I'm so happy for you, and yes the best thing to do is enjoy it!
It's such a lovely feeling having butterflies, looking forward to hearing from someone. All those things are wonderful.
There is an upside too, being distance wise you have plenty of space to just let the relationship flow =) and yes, cancer guys can be so sweet, they are one of the best when on their game.

We usually do have a hard time of letting things go. But the fact that you said there is a physical gap between you two. It might be better off to slowly cut it off. Unless you think this is really worth trying. I personally believe that since you don't want a relationship, why don't you try to give all the love and time for yourself. Before he does get a little attached, and lets say you want to maintain a friendship, maintain in such a way, that it is okay if you guys don't talk for weeks but will catch up on each other here and there ( in case he gets attached and doesn't want to let go). I have a friend that sometimes goes M.I.A for two weeks and then there are days we talk everyday. But our friend is established in such way so it is perfectly okay with me.

+ if you arent getting those butterfly feelings, you most likely aren't so into him. You might like his company but not entirely into this guy. Meh, i might be wrong, but that is my perception on it.

Thank you, wagtail!

Yes, he's being very sweet these days, which I hardly can believe lol like 'you weren't like this at all?! what happened to you, huh?' lol

It's more like I am afraid of being taken those sweet, sugary things he's been giving me recently will be taken away without a moment's notice, does it make sense? lol

But then, as I wrote up above and as you did in your reply, I just can't live in fear for ever lol It's foolish to spend joyful moments on worrying about bad things which may and may not happen, I think. So, for now, I will just let my butterflies run around, fly around lol

That's so cute.
Yeah, there is nothing wrong with dealing with the reality of the situation,but is not clear cut by any means huh? Being overseas and all etc.
But you gotta look after you first! Live in the present, don't allow fear to rule your relationship... But as a wise person a post up said maintain a friendship that allows you some room.
If he does withhold from you or disappears that isn't necessarily a star sign trait either, that's just men in general a lot of the time lol
Don't grow attached to the sweet sugary things,be strong and just enjoy them for what they are!
Have fun! And keep us posted too!
Trust your gut x

keeranK, firstly thank you for leaving another reply! 🙂

I want a relationship with this guy, but as I wrote there is this physical distance. I've had a long distance relationship which worked out great before, but then that one my boyfriend-back-then and I had established one before being apart away. I have never given a chance to someone lives so far off, because, let's be honest, it's not very realistic lol (I said 'be reasonable' up there, too), not saying that there's a zero possibility, but chances are very slim... so in that sense, I thought (and am still thinking from time to time) maybe this would be better & best should it left behind (this is what my head is telling me to do.)
But then, sometimes my heart says otherwise. And I struggle, but sometimes succumb to it, because I am only human lol

Remaining friends is a good idea, in fact 🙂 This guy and I started off quite quickly and heated up quick as well... after two months of poof! magic lol we came to this - speaking daily, but not so heavy topics, just let us learn about each other. So it was kind of backward here, I think. I found him and was attracted to him, so I told him so then he responded to me. Things became a bit too heavy for both of us (and I think that was why he pulled that disappearing act on me for the first time, though I believed he'd gone for good lol so started dating other guys a few weeks after.)
Then he came back, I was surprised and asked him why he came back all of sudden? and his answer was 'I said I would always be there for you, in your life, unless you push me away or don't want me.' I was like '......', because when he'd said that I thought he was just carried away a bit and didn't really mean it... (some people say things when they don't mean them at all!) well, maybe he didn't lol and just told me so to appease me (because even though I was quite happy to hear from him again, at the same time I was like 'wtf?') Who knows lol only he knows what he really meant and I am not him, so... :O

Anyways, so now we are less intense than we used to be in the initial stage, but I doubt we can just be friends... there's way too much attraction between two of us, which I like and hate at the same time.
But it's still a good idea 🙂 I will consider about it. I also need to give myself some room and think more clearly!

Oh, wagtail, you are very sweet! 🙂

On the disappearing act... I don't know, my latest ex has never done that to me... I guess I am so used to his way of treating me now lol (even though now he's an ex, not my boyfriend any more 😢) He surely has lifted up my standard bars lol
I stopped talking to those other guys, because well, as I wrote in the OP, I was not attracted to them, but also they did not measure up to my (newly heightened) standards lol I was like 'why should I date guys who are no way better than my ex? I did not part from my ex to date someone who would/might treat me less nicer or less appropriate!'

I will try to not get addicted to those sugaries lol

Beside romance aspects, I am learning quite lots, for example - patience! lol And duck taping my mouth... from time to time. Very hard, indeed lol
There are really many differences between him and me, I noticed. Sometimes they make me think that we are just incompatible, but other times they teach me new things and make me see things in a whole different light.

I'll keep your advice in mind and will look after myself 🙂
Thank you!

Good, you will be just fine I am sure 😉