UPDATE: : (

UPDATE: Since putting up this post https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/hearing-the-just-want-to-be-friends-response-2615089/, Cancer ex has been doing better emotionally and we, have been communicating often over the phone. He has been acting like a boyfriend. He had been making a lot of effort with me, as well as wanting to built back our trust. All of this would make sense and be wonderful if that is where we were headed, a relationship.

Well, I brought up the subject again, as he has lead it towards relationsip status again especially with certain discussions he had with me. I layed it out and explained to him that I couldn't do the friendship anymore as I loved him too much. I explained I didn't see him as simply a friend, didn't want that title as it was too risky, but was willing to give himself and myself space and time to focus on certain things we have going on and would eventually love to slowly have what we once had.

He, on the other hand, has told me a lot within the past two months of how he loves me and how deep inside of him I am, and I completely believe him with my whole being, just don't understand why we keep coming to this conclusion even though he totally acts like a good boyfriend would.

After this ^^^ discussion today, I ended it, letting him know it would be best we stop communicating as there is no point building trust if it never goes anywhere. He stated "How can you just forget someone who you've loved so deeply and have had such intimatecy with?" I responded with "If the relationship is over, why hang on?!" I told him nicely it would be best to not contact each other what so ever and as I was wishing him well, he started crying for the next what seems like 10 mins. He sounded like he was in such deep trumoil. He said he was crying because he loves me, his hearts beaking and that he feels like he's losing everyone. Then he said he remembers us in the beginning and all the happy times and it was hurting him because he had hope. I tried calming him down after telling him he was confusing me. Also told him this wasn't my choice. I wished him well and got off the phone.

SOO CONFUSED!!! Will someone PLEASE help me out with what just took place here. It sounded like I was breaking up with him when HE is the one who doesn't want us (?)

I will contribute to this... don't stop communicating with him... just stop physical activity...to see where his real head is at...

It seems to me you were fwb... which is a no no... They will not commit as long a the milk is free... Just saying...

He wants his cake and eat it too... Stop doing things for him... let him do things for you to prove to you that he is in it for the longhaul...

Based on what you wrote... you just go along with whatever...hence he is in control... Take back control... and don't give in to his lame crap/crab behaviour.

You deserve a man that is committed to you... He...imo is skating the issue of commitment. Don't fall for his little boy look...It is a scam to manipulate you.. into giving into his needs/demands.

I may be wrong... however based on my experience .. I don't think so... I have been living the ongoing BS from a Cancer Boy/Man for over 3.5 years... and I have never slept with him...

NC is now part of my DNA... Make your stance ... as you say you have.. and walk away... If/when he comes back... keep your stance of never being a fwb... as you will be the loser of his game...Just saying...

Hi Catin, thank you!

We live fours hours away! And there is no pysical activity such as sex or spending time together taking place so we are not FWB at all... And, No, he doesn't have anyone on the side as he communicates with me for hours in the evenings, is on FB way throughout the night (until 3-4 am at times) if we are not speaking that evening, and calls me throughout the day as he's commuting from job to job. I was his roomate and good friend before we got involved and he isn't the type to have someone else on the side.

We are supportive with one another equally. I never give any more than he gives.

He was crying so badly when I was ending the whole thing, I could genuinely hear the hurt in his heart.
I'm just confused to why he would hurt so badly and cry if he loves me so much (which I already could feel), yet doesn't want us.

I hope I made the right decision.

Posted by Rosepetals
Hi Catin, thank you!

We live fours hours away! And there is no pysical activity such as sex or spending time together taking place so we are not FWB at all... And, No, he doesn't have anyone on the side as he communicates with me for hours in the evenings, is on FB way throughout the night (until 3-4 am at times) if we are not speaking that evening, and calls me throughout the day as he's commuting from job to job. I was his roomate and good friend before we got involved and he isn't the type to have someone else on the side.

We are supportive with one another equally. I never give any more than he gives.

He was crying so badly when I was ending the whole thing, I could genuinely hear the hurt in his heart.
I'm just confused to why he would hurt so badly and cry if he loves me so much (which I already could feel), yet doesn't want us.

I hope I made the right decision.

OK... I have to trust that what you say is fact... your fact just saying...

If that is the case love will find its way... as real love have ZERO to do with sex/physical contact... I should know... after walking away from my cancer guy/man... in which ZERO physical contact ever took place... I knew 3.5 years ago.. that he would marry me... Stay tune.. the Drama continues... I left 9k on the table... the day I walked..after he disrespected me... I was his way of ensure my control at the time..imo...

He found out the hard way.. that 9k will not buy me...Just saying... I'm not up for negotiation////// I want what I want.. and the 9k be damned...

He is still coming after me... however with the crab walk.. it is a very very very slow process.. which thank goodness to DXPnet and tarot... I found out.. this is extremely normal behavior...... Kill me now.... 🙂 lol