When a Cancer says he loves you...

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by lildol on Thursday, July 14, 2011 and has 21 replies.

Profile picture of michellemabelle
@michellemabelle
15 YearsCapricorn

I was told by a cancer man weekly that he loves me for 4 years. Then when the relationship ended he sent naked pictures of me to my parents. That is not love. He didnt love me he loved sex and when he wasnt going to get anymore sex he decided to punish me for witholding..end of.
The way to tell if someone loves you is to see if the love is beyond sex. Do they love you because you are an attractive woman/man or do they love you because you are peter/sarah with your own quirks and funny habits, with you own dreams and longings.......do they know what your dreams are? Have they asked? My cancer was only interested in my sexual fantasies. He never got to know the other side of me just my sexuality was his interest. He never saw me play the violin or guitar. I could never talk about Buddhism with him which is a big part of my life. He never knew I loved mountains and wildernesses. He never asked. One day, because he was always asking me to come up with ideas of what to do together, I said today you come up with an activity.surprise me. I was hoping for a candlelit dinner or cinema anything that shows some imagination and that there is something more there than sex...he came up with kinky sex lol. Anyway after that experience my idea of love has changed on a deep level..and thats the best I can describe my new understanding..hope it helps xx

Profile picture of catin
@catin
16 Years

Posted by michellemabelle
I was told by a cancer man weekly that he loves me for 4 years. Then when the relationship ended he sent naked pictures of me to my parents. That is not love. He didnt love me he loved sex and when he wasnt going to get anymore sex he decided to punish me for witholding..end of.
The way to tell if someone loves you is to see if the love is beyond sex. Do they love you because you are an attractive woman/man or do they love you because you are peter/sarah with your own quirks and funny habits, with you own dreams and longings.......do they know what your dreams are? Have they asked? My cancer was only interested in my sexual fantasies. He never got to know the other side of me just my sexuality was his interest. He never saw me play the violin or guitar. I could never talk about Buddhism with him which is a big part of my life. He never knew I loved mountains and wildernesses. He never asked. One day, because he was always asking me to come up with ideas of what to do together, I said today you come up with an activity.surprise me. I was hoping for a candlelit dinner or cinema anything that shows some imagination and that there is something more there than sex...he came up with kinky sex lol. Anyway after that experience my idea of love has changed on a deep level..and thats the best I can describe my new understanding..hope it helps xx

Michellemabe..... I gave up on sex a very long time ago... Although I am experiencing a very weird so call relationship with a Cancer Man... (weird because we haven't seen each other really in 3.5 years) At least I know that when he fell in love with me in 2007...He fell for my brain, soul, heart...... not just sex. Sex never came into the equation.

He persued me... not the other way around.... His actions that year... were telling.. He was always in my face.

At one point in my office... he said "You play hardball" My response " And you are in love with me"

Although we don't really talk.. he has not gone away after upteem requests from me that he do so.

And the drama continues 🙂

Profile picture of lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

It's an ex (with him 4 yrs and lived with him 3, apart for almost 3 on and off) and it was in passing, so to speak. On a street corner basically, upon hugging me and giving me a kiss after a 15 min conversation about misc stuff. "I do love you [lildol], I'm glad you stopped to say hi, *stuttering* I always like it when you stop to see me". *sigh*

Profile picture of Sarinka_Moon
@Sarinka_Moon
16 Years

So where is your ring? Don't go goo goo because you hear the "M" word! My ex told me he wanted to marry me too AFTER he cheated on me :/

Point is...he is an ex for a reason. Move on. It'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary postings like this because you'll KNOW how deep the love of your future better half will be!

Good luck!

Profile picture of lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Tiki, I'm not sure stopping and saying "hi" to someone on the street constitutes anything but that. I pass his job site about once per week. And it wasn't THAT kind of kiss.

Profile picture of tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

But wasn't this cancer dude not available so now he's deeply in love with you, he says I don't have time but I wanna marry you, that makes no damn sense...I'm confused by your attitude towards these men, you pulled out all the stops to get this virgo but your still pining over cancer boy and all his empty words that he never can follow through with. Some fantasy thinking going on IMO.

Make up your mind woman

Profile picture of tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

And is he really sad? Or is he manipulating you in hopes you'll dump virgo man, take him back b/c he can't stand virgo winning over him after the little fight they had over you.