Would really appriciate some input please!

How do cancers respond/feel when their ex that they were still involved with try to move on and find another man?

The reason I walked away from my crab is because (like many other ladies on this thread) he couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted. I also felt like we both needed some time apart for clarity. He's made some attempts to contact me but I've ignored them.

I of course still have feelings for him and care about him deeply. I truly believe that our business is quite unfinished but I also feel like I've put my life on hold for long enough now. I've come to terms with the fact that now may not be the right time for us and I'm starting to feel like I'm ready to date and be in another relationship. This new guy (scorp) has been pretty persistant for the past month and a half and I could really see it going somewhere.

What I would please like to know, is how would a cancer would percieve this? Would he be angry? I never explained my exit to him, I just sort of cut off all contact from him because I felt that he was being unfair, insensitive, putting all the blame on me, etc. I certainly don't want to hurt him, and I would even perhaps be willing to date him in the future again if things don't work out with this new guy.

I know in my gut that the two of us aren't done with each other, but I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to experience life and other relationships in the meantime. I'm just afraid he may find this move on my part more viscious than an attempt to flow with the universe and move on for my own sanity... The last time I spoke with him it felt like there was a wall between us (communication-wise).

What do you guys think?

Anyone? Come on guys help me out!

Are looking for some sort of guarantee that it's OK to move on with your life, but have no consequence to making that decision.

It sounds to me that you've made that decision already by entertaining the thought of the Scorp, and the fact that you could see it going somewhere. That's not to say it's a bad thing, but when you look at what you wrote about how you perceived the Cancer's actions towards you, it doesn't seem that communication is being effectively used. You just cut contact with no explanations, and then you expect him to not feel slighted or be jaded if you decide later to give him another shot?

I would fully expect a person (whatever sign), to read your actions as you don't give a fuck, fuck them! It doesn't speak of deeply caring, and not wanting to hurt him to me. It speaks of you're looking out for you, the end. And continue down the road, you are still hoping to have that option open to you later to date him again (still being selfish). The only way I can see any of that being respectful, considerate, and unselfish... is if you were to communicate your feelings to the Cancer, and then the decision is in his hands, which clearly doesn't mesh very well with you (and I get it, nobody likes to hand over all control, and let fate take them where it may).

I'm not trying to bash on you here. But that's how I see it, and I tend to tell it like it is (or how I see it, haha because really.... what the fuck do I know!)

I'd say move along. There is no guarantee. But if you are doing what gives you peace of mind, you can't go wrong.

Posted by deezie
Are looking for some sort of guarantee that it's OK to move on with your life, but have no consequence to making that decision.

It sounds to me that you've made that decision already by entertaining the thought of the Scorp, and the fact that you could see it going somewhere. That's not to say it's a bad thing, but when you look at what you wrote about how you perceived the Cancer's actions towards you, it doesn't seem that communication is being effectively used. You just cut contact with no explanations, and then you expect him to not feel slighted or be jaded if you decide later to give him another shot?

I would fully expect a person (whatever sign), to read your actions as you don't give a fuck, fuck them! It doesn't speak of deeply caring, and not wanting to hurt him to me. It speaks of you're looking out for you, the end. And continue down the road, you are still hoping to have that option open to you later to date him again (still being selfish). The only way I can see any of that being respectful, considerate, and unselfish... is if you were to communicate your feelings to the Cancer, and then the decision is in his hands, which clearly doesn't mesh very well with you (and I get it, nobody likes to hand over all control, and let fate take them where it may).

I'm not trying to bash on you here. But that's how I see it, and I tend to tell it like it is (or how I see it, haha because really.... what the fuck do I know!)

I'd say move along. There is no guarantee. But if you are doing what gives you peace of mind, you can't go wrong.

Thank you for your honest input. I really appreciate it. I was indeed worried that he would see my actions as cruel and would perhaps assume that I "don't give a fuck" but I feel as though I wasn't left many other options. For a few months after our break up he'd been back and forth with me, "yes I have feelings for you" and then later, "no I don't." And "yes I want us to get back together" and then later say, "I don't want a relationship right now." At the time I cut contact with him he was very upset with me for conversing with other men and acting "aloof" towards his attempts to talk to me. Therefore, he decided he would ignore me. I was quite hurt by this and I stated clearly that I DO still have feelings for him and I want to be with him. I felt like I was backed in a corner with no power when he started ig

*** Therefore, he decided he would ignore me. I was quite hurt by this and I stated clearly that I DO still have feelings for him and I want to be with him. I felt like I was backed in a corner with no power when he started ignoring me so I just fled the situation all together. I know it's not the best way of dealing with things but it seems impossible for us to communicate our feelings honestly to each other now. Everytime one of us does something, we hurt the other. So I thought I'd let him go and see, if it is meant to be, it will happen. I just wish he could see that my intent is not to be manipulative or malicious. I'm really just trying to spare both of our feelings and do what's best.

I did this with a gemini boyfriend once. Things were just going terribly between us and he appeared to have lost total respect for me. He essentially dissapeared without breaking up with me, he started traveling around the country and ignored my attemps to contact him so I just.... moved on. I met another man and I went with it. He's come back to me since then and has made several attemps to apologize and get me back (I'm no longer interested) but he's a gemini, and I understand gemini's bounce back a little better than the average cancer, or...they don't bruise as easily.

I feel ya Pixie, I really do. A couple of things though...

1. In this world, you can't choose how another will interpret your actions.
2. Because of number 1, you have to conduct yourself in a manner that leaves little up to interpretation. I think that's where it's gone wrong for you at this point. ALTHOUGH, I will say that the air of mystery never seems to lack it's place in the dating game.

It's worked for you before (without the direct intention), to just move on (and you actually did move on). That's what I was saying before about doing what is best for you. One of your statements spoke to me: "but it seems impossible for us to communicate our feelings honestly to each other now. Everytime one of us does something, we hurt the other.". That's bad news as far as I can see. There has been a loss of trust. And trust is hard to earn in the first place (and from what I know even harder with the Cancers), let alone when it has been bruised and then attempted to be repaired. I'm not sure it's entirely possible.

Argh, sorry if my thoughts seem jumbled. I have a hard time making everything come out in text as it sounds in my head!

No, thank you very much for the input!

I understand what you're saying about trust. Although I think that our trust issues are really our own problem. We both seem to have issues opening up and trusting others (even trusting ourselves). This is also why I felt it was necessary to try and let it go for now, because I think we both need to grow a lot more on our own.

I've felt this bitter, confused, and nasty feeling before (with the previous ex I was explaining about) and I've seen time patch things up for the better for us. The timing wasn't right and I was trying to force it and I feel like that's what I have been doing here again with this cancer. I feel like...it's only when you actually LET GO, that things can get better.

I suppose I'll have to take my chances and in the end, hope that he can forgive me for my sudden, gone-with-the-wind exit. I think once we detatch from the dependencies we've formed on one another we can begin to see clearly, kind of like, start all over again. We talked about this once, taking a break and trying to start over. The only problem is that we never lasted very long, one of us would always crawl back before we let time do any real healing...

Posted by everevolvingepithet
You haven't moved on, to put it simply.
The Cancer is playing a game too of 'this is how you made me feel, I want you to feel it all over and over and over cuz I will'.

What do you mean exactly?

I think I get what you're saying and I think I agree.

Posted by PurrHiss
And girlie, if you think you've seen a lack of fairness/sensitivity, and have been blamed for shit that isn't your fault from your crab, you ain't seen nothin' yet. The Scorpio will make your crab look like an angel.

Yeah, well this scorp is quite a bit older and does not seem nearly as immature as my crab. Obviously you don't really know until you dive in and date someone but we'll see. I haven't made a final decision.

Posted by wineaux
k - date. hang with the scorp. if j (when j) is ready, he'll come to you so fast it'll make your head spin. we always want what we can't have, right?

This is the way I look at it. I've done everything I can do. I know there's something there but I can't force it out (of it's shell?) hahaha. I might as well live my life to the fullest instead of puttin it on hold. If we're meant to be together again it will happen.

My crab was 21 when I dated him (but seemed to act more like he was 14). I'm not trying to critisize because I admit some of my behavior with him was VERY childish, but I'm good at owning my own shit.

The scorp is 25 right now. I'll be 21 this may. I'd love to say that he SEEMS more mature from conversation and debates we've had but yes, you really never know a person until you just go ahead and try it.