Yet another girl confused by a Cancer guy!

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PiscesArgie
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Hi there everybody, I'm a 36-year old girl from Argentina..met this Cancer guy and have been dating for 2 months now. Ive read your posts and found invaluable info here about him. Yet it is difficult for me to realize if he is lying or if he is honest. It puzzles me when he doesn't answer back txts or calls and my question is...are cancer guys suckers for female attention? He has some gal friends on Facebook constantly commenting his photos and stuff like that..this has dimiinshed as we are together but I have the impression he just loves to be admired and loved by this bunch of girls..he says that is not the case, but I have that impresssion...
Question to Cancer males over there in the board...HOW DO YOU SHOW YOU CARE TO A GIRL? DO YOU PLAY HARD TO GET? my man has once said that he didnt want to be that obvious about his feelings for me...he shows he cares now and then , it seems he loves having me "there"....
ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW I SHOULD BEHAVE ?
THANKSS!!!
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mr.crabby
@mr.crabby
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I've been known to have many girls around all the time, but it was purely friendly and nothing could have ever happened. The girl I wanted to be with was quite jealous like you are, I think. I didn't realize it until it was too late, to be honest. I just can't stand men, I find them stupid and repulsive.

When I'm interested, I want to spend time with her, for anything really, as long as she's there. I'm not very demonstrative in other ways. Presence is the most significant thing. I don't talk about love or relationship status or anything, it just has to flow and feel right and I'll be happy and devoted.

Depends if he's in love. I don't think a Cancer that's in love can look elsewhere, but if he's unsure, he might still be playing the field. If I don't get anything in return when I'm interested in someone, I'll still be interested but I'll be looking around for a better chance at commitment. 2 months can be a short time. wait a bit until you figure him out better.
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GeorgiaPeach
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"Presence is the most significant thing. I don't talk about love or relationship status or anything, it just has to flow and feel right and I'll be happy and devoted. "

I am not a Cancer male, but a Virgo female and I totally agree with this. I have learned that men are not very verbal when it comes to their feelings. If a man is with you then he is interested. If he is calling you, dating you, and making plans with you then he is interested. Where we women mess up is we start to focus so much on a man and what he isnt doing, we become insecure and start looking at the glass half empty.
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PiscesArgie
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guys thanks so much for the reply, I agree that 2 months is not long, and I'm not used to being with a Cancer guy..we are just too alike, he is used to receiving attention from women who he is with, and I know he trhirves in the admiration and adoration he receives from females. I am a very independent woman who is not clinging or needy or calling him all the time and I think that deep inside he is bugged by that. He wishes I was like a puppy dog all over him, just like his friends do. Then again, he told me this week that he is very content in the relationship and that he feels that he likes me more than he thought he would at the begiinning. He also said he is looking for tranquility and wants to feel well, and have a "healthy " relationship with somebody intellinent and caring and self assured.

I dont know whether to believe this or not...he has also said he loves me. I try to be thre for him, I listen to him, he has told me some work problems..he said in his latest relationships he just had sex, drank something, watched a movie or a stupid programme and that was it..I know he was misjugded and hurt in the past and that he talks a lot but says little.

I'm trying to be patient but it is very difficult for me being so sensitive...I just become suspicious when I see some commennts in his Facebook, he told me his friends are like that..I really want to feel sure of him but right now I just can't..

anxiety is burning..I know I have to slow down..

cancer guys over there....WHEN A CANCER GUY SAYS HE CARES, THAT HE IS INTERESTED IN SPENDING TIME WITH YOU, AND THAT HE LOVES YOU, does he generally mean it??

I have also noticed that he DOESNT PROPOSE a lot of activities.

he says that is because at this moment his car is at the mechanic and he is low on cash...is that an excuse, or are these things so ikmportant to a cancer—?

THANKS AGAIN SO MUCH!
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mr.crabby
@mr.crabby
20 Years1,000+ PostsCancer

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If he has told you he loves you and is still around, that means he doesn't regret saying it. It looks like he's making sure that you'll be better than what he's known in the past. Sometimes we rush things, trust others and get hurt, so he'll be quite careful for a while after that.

I'm often afraid that someone will think I like them when I don't, so if he's saying things to you, he must be confident enough that he'll want to be with you.

I totally avoid meeting women or dating or proposing anything when I don't have money. Women are most interested in being impressed by displays of wealth and expensive dates and stuff more than connecting with someone. I can understand his behavior. I could be totally happy going to the park or having ice cream, or just talking somewhere but a woman wants a lot more than that, I know that, he knows that, so he'll wait until he can afford something nice to do with you. You might not think you'd care, but I'm pretty sure you'd feel bad if you two only did "poor people" things.
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PiscesArgie
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MR CRABBY thanks for your insight.

We have talked about our 2 months together and he has told me that he knows the relationship has been a bit "hermetic" in the sense that we have hung out a lot in my place (he lives with GUESS WHO? MOMMY!!!- I havent met her yet )
We have seen each other a lot in these two months, but , like I said , nothing too flashy or extravagant..just going out for a picnic, walking around, a drink, and I have invited him over for a home made meal and a movie in my flat. I love going out so this has been tough for me, but I have undestood his need for the car and maybe more cash. So again, Im being patient and understanding.


I have another question for you CRABBY...is it true you remember everything and your memory is excellent? he recalls a lot of things that i dont even remember..

also, he has told me that he is judges people a lot and observes all attitudes and when he sees an attitude he doesnt like, he knows that things will never be the same with that person in the sense that they will be an acquaintance but not a true friend. it seems he tests people to see how loyal they are and to what extent they are willing to be there for him...I know Im being tested too. I try to be myself around him. I tried to manipulate him once or twice but didn't work. Playing the victim has not worked, also he realizes when I overcompliment him..he hates that...all my previous seduction techniques which I used to apply with other guys to make them fall have failed.

I HAVE TO BE MYSELF OR MYSELF HERE.....hahah!!!! But I am trying to be, and he has opened up more since I become more authentic.

Also Mr Crabby, his birthday is coming.. WHAT TYPE OF PRESENTS DO CANCER GUYS LOVE——
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shellshocker
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Patience, patience, patience... it really does do the trick. Once those feelings have a chance to slowly creep under the shell, they take hold for life.
Even if the relationship doesn't work out... those feelings will remain.

Regarding memories, I can only speak for myself, but my memory is insane. Don't doubt me if I remind you of something said in the past, because I will be right.
I don't really remember the details of the event however, it's more the emotions felt surrounding it or what I intuitively observed from the situation. For example... I was having a conversation with this Pisces sweetie-pie about a month. I can remember every detail of it, not because of what he said so much as how he was looking at me when he said it. That triggered an emotional response in me and I could intuitively read what he wasn't saying.

You're a Pisces... you know what I mean.

As far as gifts... I think it depends on the Cancer. My brother is a July 5th Cancer and he likes expensive gifts. He is very materialistic, has to have the best of everything and is concerned about what others thinks of him. That's where his insecurities lie.

I'm a June Gemi/Cancer cusp... I could care less about expensive things. My insecurities come out in love relationships. I appreciate a thought out gift, that shows you have been learning about me, and you care. It should also mean something to YOU. If it matters to the one I care about... it matters to me. If it's going to make me squeal and jump up and down for joy or it brings sentiment to my heart... it's golden.
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PiscesArgie
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SHELLSHOCKER thanks so much for your advice and feedback. I need to be more patient, I know. I'm just crazy about him!!!!

I have found lately that , as I let him have more space, he has shown more affection but he goes VERY SLOWLY.

What about the famous CANCER TESTS—? I know he tests me. he has told me he even will pretend to have an opinion which is not true to see if I agree, it seems he wants to TRAP me . He seems sometimes to want to find my FLAWS because he has said that Im "too good to be true, and that I must be hiding something creepy " why can't he trust me?

Also I CANNOT LIE to him since he just knows. And I'm prettty intuitive myself , it is way too emotional sometimes.

This is the first Crab in my life. I'm enjoying the experience but it is indeed a rollercoaster of emotions!

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mr.crabby
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Posted by PiscesArgie

I love going out so this has been tough for me, but I have undestood his need for the car and maybe more cash. So again, Im being patient and understanding.


I have another question for you CRABBY...is it true you remember everything and your memory is excellent? he recalls a lot of things that i dont even remember..

also, he has told me that he is judges people a lot and observes all attitudes and when he sees an attitude he doesnt like, he knows that things will never be the same with that person in the sense that they will be an acquaintance but not a true friend. it seems he tests people to see how loyal they are and to what extent they are willing to be there for him...I know Im being tested too. I try to be myself around him. I tried to manipulate him once or twice but didn't work. Playing the victim has not worked, also he realizes when I overcompliment him..he hates that...all my previous seduction techniques which I used to apply with other guys to make them fall have failed.

I HAVE TO BE MYSELF OR MYSELF HERE.....hahah!!!! But I am trying to be, and he has opened up more since I become more authentic.

Also Mr Crabby, his birthday is coming.. WHAT TYPE OF PRESENTS DO CANCER GUYS LOVE——


If you love going out, please don't stop yourself from seeing your friends and family. I wouldn't want to feel guilty about having my girlfriend cancelling her plans because I'm not in the mood. You want as little friction as possible with a Cancer, make it easy between you two by looking elsewhere for what is missing. It's much better than trying to change him or deprive yourself.

The memory is indeed flawless when it comes to someone I care about. I'll remember the way she smiled, or the words she used, and I can sigh for years about it after that. It's painful sometimes, believe crabby on that. It's like feeling the same sadness 2000 times instead of once.

One bad thing or behavior can indeed just break it off for me. After 2 months, he should know enough about you. The tests might be to make sure you're not hiding something. He has to know that you'll care for him even when he's down. Once he knows that, he'll be much better and shouldn't disappoint you. Please don't try to seduce anymore, it just makes him think you like to get men to like you as a game. Please be yourself as much as possible.

I really don't like presents. Ma
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PiscesArgie
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Mr Crabby, thanks!
Maybe I'll make something myself. The other day he took a charcoal drawing of a unicorn with him as a gift..I do these drawings..

a question...a situation that has arisen just now...

Yesterday he went to another province to deliver some goods he had bought (he does this tradings as a side job). He sent me a txt message telling me that he was about to leave for the province (it is a 3 hour drive from our Capital city) and then, later on at night, he sent me another one saying that he had arrived safely. Also asking me what I was up to (hehe controlling crabs!!)

I sent him yesterday a message telling him that I was heading home after pizza and beer and that I wished he was here with me, and that he please let me know that he had made it back to the Capital safely.

No reply after almost 24 hours. I sent him a message some hours ago reminding him to let me know if he had arrived safely, but no reply. I don't know whether to phone him or not, since he is not so keen on phone calls, and I know that if he is driving he won't be answering.

The people he sells stuff to, are acquaintances of his , so that is why he stays over. But he told me he would be coming back today Sunday and I know nothing of him. I dont want to contact him again but Im worried..

Should I call him—
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GeorgiaPeach
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Posted by PiscesArgie
Mr Crabby, thanks!
Maybe I'll make something myself. The other day he took a charcoal drawing of a unicorn with him as a gift..I do these drawings..

a question...a situation that has arisen just now...

Yesterday he went to another province to deliver some goods he had bought (he does this tradings as a side job). He sent me a txt message telling me that he was about to leave for the province (it is a 3 hour drive from our Capital city) and then, later on at night, he sent me another one saying that he had arrived safely. Also asking me what I was up to (hehe controlling crabs!!)

I sent him yesterday a message telling him that I was heading home after pizza and beer and that I wished he was here with me, and that he please let me know that he had made it back to the Capital safely.

No reply after almost 24 hours. I sent him a message some hours ago reminding him to let me know if he had arrived safely, but no reply. I don't know whether to phone him or not, since he is not so keen on phone calls, and I know that if he is driving he won't be answering.

The people he sells stuff to, are acquaintances of his , so that is why he stays over. But he told me he would be coming back today Sunday and I know nothing of him. I dont want to contact him again but Im worried..

Should I call him—



No. And I read that you put that this guy lives with his mom. How old is he and is his mother sick or something that he needs to live there?
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PiscesArgie
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Hi there Georgia Peach..

He is 31 years old..remember this is Argentina it is not unheard of or uncommon for men or women to stay living in their parents' house until they get married..he owns half that flat he lives in and living there saves him from paying a high rent...he has recently bought a building site and is building now his own house but with our economy this goes very slowly...

Too late..I have called and no answer. The last time this happened he had run out of credit in his cell phone and connected later to Msn and contacted me there. He is lazy with phonecalls and texts.

maybe I am experiencing the first DISAPPEARING ACT— I have done nothing to piss hiim off that I know of, in fact yesterday he said "I love you" in one of the two texts he sent..

I am actually WORRIED about him.....


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Pisces_Dream
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I have found when you get way too involved with a cancer they get scared especially so soon right off the bat. I know and understand the wanting to get all comfy with a cancer PA. I did that a few years ago with a cancer and it scared the beegezies out of him. He went away. 😢 I sometimes think Pisces are too intense for Cancers sometimes. My advice ....stay aloof ....keep him chasing. Those crabs love to chase, and they are definately slow moving. Sounds like a lot of fun. They can also break your heart. My crab did. I dated him for two months back in 2005. I found out he used to ask about me all the time after we broke up. 😢 What happened is I wanted a relationship and he had an excuse all the time. He did the freak out thing when I gave him a gift and than said he would feel obligated to me. Those cancers ....ugh .....I think the best is to keep it simple and casual. Does that make sense?

Crabs chime in if I am wrong or right.

PD
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PiscesArgie
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PD I agree we are very intense, and may scare a Cancer since they are so sensitive.

I was very anxious at the beginning of the relationship when I really couldn't figure him out. As I started reading about his sign, I came to understand a lot of things.

I really don't smother him and in fact have my social life and do my stuff,and never wait for him. But I am constantly thinking about him, that is true 😢
Even when I'm doing other things. maybe he senses that!!!!! They seem to sense all........

This relationship is a test for my patience and endurance...Ive read many times they go slow but once you are in..their love is intense. I am planning to give him a chance , go slowly and show him love and affection and support, and see if he responds to that...

Theres nothing else to be done...if time goes by and things don't seem to grow...I'll swim away broken hearted
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mr.crabby
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Dream

The making official thing is so overrated. If I'm there, that's all that matters. Just give me time to meet you on your turf, it just takes longer. It's not because I'm not sure or there's someone else. You two being involved is a relationship, that's all there is to it. Female insecurity is aggravating sometimes.
Asking about starting a relationship is like saying that what you had until then was just mindless flirting/dating.


Argies

By the way, if the guy wants a break, let him be. I'd rather stay by my cranky self rather than annoy people who insist on talking to me. Don't call him, don't worry about him.
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PiscesArgie
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You are right Crabby. I won't call again , just let him be..I left him a message telling him that , as it was raining and I knew he was driving, and I hadnt had news about him I was worried everything was right, and to let me know when he could he was fine. No pressure, no annoyance, nothing, just plain worry for his safety.

it is true though that when he has problems he prefers not to be seen. Last week he had a few job problems and was in his shell I guess. He told me about this over the phone but didn't want to meet up.


It is true that we women are very insecure and take all in a personal way. I know I am trying hard to change that. Thing is that I am worried because everyday I have news from himm and today...NOTHING. It is always a text message, a msn message, but something. That is what makes me sick with worry..

Anyway, thanks for the support guys..! Crabby thanks for your ear..it means a lot for me and helps me lower anxiety!!!
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Pisces_Dream
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*Note to self from Mr. Crabby* Good advice and good to know, if I ever come across a crabman again.

PA - I look forward to hearing how this pans out for you. I love the connection of the crab, so tempermental though. *sigh* I have that darn aries moon which can be a hinderance ....sometimes my patience and intensity get over ruled by them. *sigh* The good qualities of the crabman that is good for pisces is they are so sentimental, caring, protective, romantic, and they are definately not shy in the sack. *sigh reflective thoughts from the past* 😉

PD

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PiscesArgie
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Hi there people...Crabby, PD!!!

Well yesterday I let hiim be, no messages, nothing. Today I was really WORRIED because he has never , even when we had fallen out , stopped contacting me or texting me, so I called late . He answered and told me he was driving back and he had run out of credit that is why no messages. I told hiim that I was just checking if he was fine, and that I had imagined he could be out of credit, he said when he got back home he would connect to MSN.


I know I maybe shouldn't have called but I needed to make sure he was OK. And, by reading stuff over here, he may have felt rejected or not taken care of if I had not even worried about him being away driving in a storm. I just needed to make sure he was OK, not in a controlling way, but in a person-who-cares-about you way.

I know I should work on my PATIENCE more. I am. It is funny though how I have incorporated words in my language that I was not familiar with, such as

-HE IS SHELLING
-DISAPPEARING ACTS
-RUNNING HOT AND COLD
- CRABBY MOOD
-MIXED SIGNALS

HAHAH!!!!
This is my first Crab...I love him but is indeed and EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER for me...I will open up, show him my true self and let him know me. I will also get to know him. Maybe if he finally trusts me and opens up, he will not leave me in the dark, because he is indeed secretive.

CRABBY...when Cancer guys are in a relationship, do they feel responsible for the other person's feelings'—

Is it me or maybe I think he is a bit selfish? I mean if it was the other way about, and it was me without credit in my phone and he was sending me a message telling him I was worried, I would definitely stop at a gas station and use a public phone or borrow somebody's phone. He just doesnt..

why—


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mr.crabby
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Posted by PiscesArgie


I know I maybe shouldn't have called but I needed to make sure he was OK. And, by reading stuff over here, he may have felt rejected or not taken care of if I had not even worried about him being away driving in a storm. I just needed to make sure he was OK, not in a controlling way, but in a person-who-cares-about you way.

I know I should work on my PATIENCE more. I am.
HAHAH!!!!

CRABBY...when Cancer guys are in a relationship, do they feel responsible for the other person's feelings'—

Is it me or maybe I think he is a bit selfish? I mean if it was the other way about, and it was me without credit in my phone and he was sending me a message telling him I was worried, I would definitely stop at a gas station and use a public phone or borrow somebody's phone. He just doesnt..

why—



We don't want to be taken care of, it's our role to take care of others. I'd rather not have someone that worries about me all the time, that just makes it harder in a tough situation. Even crabby males are motherly, and I havam a double crab, so that makes it even more so, I presume. Worrying about me is like telling me you don't trust my abilities to take care of things on my own.

You remind me of a Pisces thing I'd forgotten about. You fishies always try to dodge what you don't want to acknowledge. You know you should be more patient but you won't really try to change that because that's who you are. lol

I've never been in a relationship, I'm too slow and women lose interest. Virgo moon or something. I wouldn't feel responsible for the other's feelings at first, but when I realize I've hurt someone, I try to change things so that it doesn't happen again. I would tend to act the way I feel and hope the other doesn't mind.

I don't see him as selfish. He refuses to feed your insecurity but he's still there. It's not the other way around, he's not like you and he'll never try to be, You wouldn't like him as much if he changed and started acting like you. He calls when he feels like it. We're always grumpy when we have to do something we don't feel like doing. Don't push. There was no reason for him to call, really. One or two days without a call is far from a big deal.
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PiscesArgie
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CRABBY you have given me valuable information.

The fact that you don't want to be taken care of. I agree he can take care of himself, but I have noticed that he likes me preparing food for him, giving him a massage when he is stressed...he hasn't objected in the least. He takes care of others? maybe, but I dont exactly feel he is taking care of me. He knows I am independent and can take care of myself...but deep inside Id love to feel more protected and taken care of. He just senses I am very self-sufficient..well I am but emotionally I do have more needs, only I don't show them so much . I deal with them myself, to avoid being clingly.

I guess I believe once the initial crush is over I'll be calmer and more of myself really. I am too infatuated right now.


It is absolutely true he is not me and I shouldn't expect people to do what I would do..still it hurts to know i would do more...and he doesn't. It hits my insecurities and the word REJECTION appears..


I know one day or two is not big deal and I know that he had to do things he didn't really want to do. But he does lots of things he doesn't like to do...he should enjoy himself more. He worries too much.

Strange to hear you have never been in a relationship, you are such a good listener and so intelligent in the advice and insight you give. I guess again the IMPATIENCE hahah we women are like that...it sucks.

Now he is back and is connected to MESSENGER.

I am in OFFLINE mode.

To be honest, I didn't want to stay online and show him I was waiting for him to connect. He was absent for 3 days so now he should wait ....


He sent me a message OFFLINE that reads

hi sweetheart
I dont have credit
phone me or send me a msn message
I love you


Now I will disappear and won't contact him until tomorrow....

YES, WE PISCES ARE VINDICTIVE

I know Im being immaature but I just hate it when you guys think we are there , for granted.

EAT THIS CRAB!!!!!
🙂


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shellshocker
@shellshocker
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Posted by PiscesArgie
CRABBY you have given me valuable information.

The fact that you don't want to be taken care of. I agree he can take care of himself, but I have noticed that he likes me preparing food for him, giving him a massage when he is stressed...he hasn't objected in the least. He takes care of others? maybe, but I dont exactly feel he is taking care of me. He knows I am independent and can take care of myself...but deep inside Id love to feel more protected and taken care of. He just senses I am very self-sufficient..well I am but emotionally I do have more needs, only I don't show them so much . I deal with them myself, to avoid being clingly.

I guess I believe once the initial crush is over I'll be calmer and more of myself really. I am too infatuated right now.


It is absolutely true he is not me and I shouldn't expect people to do what I would do..still it hurts to know i would do more...and he doesn't. It hits my insecurities and the word REJECTION appears..


I know one day or two is not big deal and I know that he had to do things he didn't really want to do. But he does lots of things he doesn't like to do...he should enjoy himself more. He worries too much.

Strange to hear you have never been in a relationship, you are such a good listener and so intelligent in the advice and insight you give. I guess again the IMPATIENCE hahah we women are like that...it sucks.

Now he is back and is connected to MESSENGER.

I am in OFFLINE mode.

To be honest, I didn't want to stay online and show him I was waiting for him to connect. He was absent for 3 days so now he should wait ....


He sent me a message OFFLINE that reads

hi sweetheart
I dont have credit
phone me or send me a msn message
I love you


Now I will disappear and won't contact him until tomorrow....

YES, WE PISCES ARE VINDICTIVE

I know Im being immaature but I just hate it when you guys think we are there , for granted.

EAT THIS CRAB!!!!!
🙂




You are not listening to Mr. Crabby... You want what you want NOW, and don't seem willing to wait for it.

Now your Crab has returned, and is doing what you wanted him to do... Contact you and tell you how he feels...

But you are going to ignore him? And tell him to eat this?

You are playing games...

If this is your TRUE self, he can see it... and you won't get anywhere.

Maybe you are not
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PiscesArgie
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SHELLSHOCKER...

I was just venting here my frustration at having been ignored..
Not, Im not planning to do any of that, in fact I have contacted him and would never tell him EAT THIS!!! I was angry at the moment of writing this but fortunately as a fish my anger dissolves easily...


But to be honest I would be tempted to do one of those crab "disappearing acts" on him....just to see his reactions.

it seems that crabs do that to people but get offended if the same happens to them..get impatient when ignored. But the rest of us should be patient and always undestanding of their moods and moments..what about ours??


He was away for three ddays, practically no communication, now he gets back and gets impatient because I dont answer his msn chats immediately.


I have answered, all OK , but well, it does require patiences to understand this behaviour.. DONT DENY IT!!!!!

mAYBE I AM NOT READY FOR THIS CRAB...but I will give it a go.


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PiscesArgie
@PiscesArgie
15 Years500+ Posts

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Crabby I didn't make him pay anything.

I just vented my desire to do so here but that was not what I did.
I guess I need more time to understand him and his ways.


Maybe I need somebody who can give me more of his spare time.

I will allow some more time to see what happens.

In 2 months we have seldom seen in weekends, he always wants to see me after he has finished doing other thigs, obviously I am not top of his priorities.

It is ok , but that cuts chances of spending time together and getting to know each other, doesnt it—

He does go slow, maybe slower than what I would prefer....

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ninjamu
@ninjamu
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

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i don't really understand all of what ur complaining about here. he sounds pretty awesome from what i gather. he's telling u that he loves u after 2 months? i'd be worried that he's possibly a player or he's a clinger. then again, at this point, i wouldn't be worried at all.

i don't know. u seem to be pretty demanding. i know i can be of my close cancer guy friend but it's usually in a playful way. i don't see anything wrong with him wanting to see u after he's finished with other things. he may be taking care of business, and yes, let's hope he has other priorities in his life. it sounds like he just wants to get his shit done so he can spend his free time being focused on the girl he loves. i do that too!

maybe he isn't up to ur speed. maybe u should get with a fire sign. they say taurus are super slow but i beg to differ. if u've got it going on, and ur a woman of strength, a taurus will charge full speed ahead.

btw, cancer men LOVE receiving loads of attention! don't lie! ha! it's cute.
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PiscesArgie
@PiscesArgie
15 Years500+ Posts

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The problem here is my insecurity.

Cancers, I gather , are not so demonstrative. So I kind of never know where I am standing with him.

Besides, he used to "chat me up" and compliment me much more when he was wooing me. So I guess he has relaxed now that we ve been together a couple of times.

My problem is that I used to date guys who would be all over me..and this Crab is mysterious,, independent, intriguing...it puts me out, puzzles me!!!

So that is when my INSECURITIES arise.


Sometimes I don't even know what he needs from me. he came back after 3 days from a very poor area, and was quite down telling me all the sad things he witnessed there...he seems to carry the weight of the worlds injusticies in his back.
I made him a home made meal, hearty and tasty, and also a cake. I listened to him . Gave my opinion when we wanted one . I try to be there for him, making his life easier with little things..

I really wish to do things right with him, I have a lot of feelings for this man.

I will work on my self esteem and security.
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Pisces_Dream
@Pisces_Dream
17 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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I dunno PA.....see this is where I get stuck with Cancer men. You said a couple of things that I draw concern for you......"He moves slower than I like" and "Maybe I need someone who has more time for me in his spare time." Maybe I did not quote exactly but that is the jest. I am definately by no means a Cancer expert, however I see a pattern here. Cancer men can be cranky-pants and it seems like they need to do things on their own timeline. Space Space Space Space Space ....Chime in if I am wrong Cancer peeps. I think they like the attention but if they get too much they loose interest. They don't seem to like to be smothered.

It is hard for us Pisces because when we are in relationships we tend to give all in with both feet in the water. With Cancer peeps they put in one toe at a time. So you got to decide if you are willing to be that patient person for your Cancer. Also look at how you are feeling in the relationship, are you getting what you need? Those are questions I would ask myself anyway in any relationship. Am I really happy in this relationship as it is, not how I can manipulate it? Does that make sense?

So my advice, girl get back to your own life and hobbies. If this cancer dude is really the right one for you, he will be and give you the kind of relationship you need and want. If you are so focused on him you may drive yourself crazy and him. So carry on with your life. Maybe take at least one foot out of the water. 😉

Best of luck PA because I am curious to see how this plays out for you.

PD
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ninjamu
@ninjamu
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

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my cancer friend is very manly! he's just also a big baby at times too. i attribute it to him suffering from ''only child'' syndrome on top of being a cancer (i'm an only child but u can't tell!).

u must be secure with urself and have a life of ur own indefinitely. cancers like to support and nurture, but unless ur their child, they don't want to take care of u like u are. i don't care what these sites say about them needing to be needed. i feel they're like leos in that they need to feel wanted/desired, not want to be needed.

i think that's why my cancer friend is so strongly attracted to us fire sign females. we're often busy with a life, independent, self-assured, have high self-esteem (sometimes inflated ego), but we're also total lovers and wildly passionate.

ur cancer will be demonstrative all in due time. u'll eventually feel him ''all over u'' when he opens up and shows u his possessive side! what're u doing? who are u with? where are u? the 3rd degree will be routine procedure.
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PiscesArgie
@PiscesArgie
15 Years500+ Posts

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Dear Pisces Dream: I agree that when Pisces falls, we put both feet in the water. It is also sometimes short lived as we Pisces live in a fantasy world someties, idealize people and then get disappointed and swim away. That is why this Crab is giving me the chance of seeing something more "real"...he is just more down-to earth and practical. I guess I should remove one toe...it is just that I am so infatuated at this moment.
But I don't show this to him in the sense that I make my plans, go out, work, do stuff , I am not clingy or needy in the least with him. I am must myself. But I do have all these insecurities and emotions to share ...only that I don't want to reveal this to him while I work on my feelings.
Objectively theres nothing wrong with the relationship and the question of speed is ok. I used to have intense but short lived romances and relationships. I get bored easily. that is why this Crab is so different from what I know, he keeps me on my toes all the time! I must confess I like it a little bit..it is definitely interesting and not boring at all... but you have to understand I was always the one "chased" in a relationship, so now it bugs me to do a little chasing..and he told me he was the one "chased", so it is a bit of a power struggle sometimes to see who gives more.
Now after some more weeks things are calmer and falling into place.. he told me he finds me different and that he didnt expect to like me as he does. Again very nice but i need also actions to back it up..again somebody said Im demanding, yes, I am. I should use this relationship to change some bad traits I have. I will take one foot out of the water dear...thanks so much for the advice!!! 🙂


Dear JamaicanCancer: SPACE is some perfect. I also need it and bad! but it seems that relationships are sometimes like an elastic band , you pull the other one pushes and so on. So when I need space he approaches and when he does I do. This crab is verrry manly. 🙂 thanks for your words


Dear Ninjamu: I agree Cancer guys don't like to be needed by their couple. Maybe by friends or family but not their couple. In fact they want support and stability with their woman, not another person to care for. I am not a person who asks for help or clings. I know he likes the fact that I am independent, make money, live alone and find time to do my hobbies and meet my friends. but I make a point in making him feel desired and wanted but not needed. You are right about that.
I just