Cap Behavior

I’ve posted on here in the past about my ex-boyfriend and I. To sum it up the guy and I were in a relationship for 3y, I found out he had been living a totally different life and was cheating on me the entire time, he manipulated and did some psychopath stuff and is now marrying the girl he cheated on me with yet still tries and wants to be my friend. I’m finally over it and think he is a total psychopath and narcissist. That being said it took me a very long time to get over the entire situation and I kinda have some trust issues and can’t really trust myself or judgment because of everything that happened. Anyhow he was a Capricorn and to be honest I’m a little apprehensive when it comes to caps now, I know everyone is different and astrology only plays a minor role, but after going through what I did, I can’t help but have that underlying thought and am careful/guard up. So now to the point, I’ve recently met this guy( DOB 12/29) and we get along great, he makes an effort to text me everyday, texts me in the morning to say good morning, texts throughout the day to see how my day is etc… Our conversations aren’t about BS, we talk about work, goals, etc.. we have great banter etc.. This is the first guy I may actually like vs. me just trying to move forward with my life like I was with other guys I’ve dated. We’re friends on FB too and everything was cool, I was just going with the flow until I looked at his page a realized he had around 42( the number continues to increase) new friends and they were all girls.. Now mind you, we met on a dating app and I would totally expect him to be dating other girls and making friends with girls on FB, but the volume is a little much to me. So when I saw that I pulled back, not that I was pushing things I was just going with the flow, but I thought he was consistent, and sweet etc.. and was thinking I definitely like to see where this goes, then I saw that and red flags went up everywhere. I just don’t want to experience anything like I did with my ex, that was devastating and it took me a very very very long time to get where I am. In my head I’m thinking if he is having these types of convos with me who am I to think, he isn’t doing that with all other 45 new friends of his… Me I tend to gravitate towards a person when I feel chemistry. I’ll talk to other people when I’m just dating someone, but I don’t make the efforts like he is making towards me unless I’m actually intereste

Cont.... And although I date other people, while “just dating” someone, I sure don’t have or make FB friends like he does. It would be different if there were guys and girls but he just has girls…. I guess my question is how could I tell if the guy is genuine or just playing the field. Like I said I don’t trust my judgment anymore, so would like the feedback. Prior to seeing the FB friends my judgment was telling me there was definitely chemistry and he mentioned how interested he is in me, and is very consistent, but now I’m not sure, my ex told me he loved me and wanted to work on things then two weeks later while we were supposed to be working on things he proposed to the other girl, so yeah I seem to have bad judgment. i apologize that this is so long BTW

i think thats the risk you run in dating, competition. He's free to friend who ever he likes. Youre free to do the same.

@champranger the year is 83 and DMV I stated that I do date other people etc..I was just a little taken back bc of everything that happen with my ex. I guess you couldn't really understand unless you lived what I lived or been in a relationship with a narcissist, they can really damage a person, like I said I don;t trust my judgement which was why I wanted the feedback.

no, i get what youre saying. you like this guy, but his fresh-female led friends list scares you. Your ex had severe issues but you cant make every guy pay for them. or think that every guy is going to do you wrong. Falling in love is a risk for everyone, red flags seen or unseen.

You cant let the past paralyze you. lets say you were never facebook friends, could another red flag paralyze you too. and another, and another.

Sounds like youre still gun shy and any flag may trigger you. that means your still healing.

with that being said, dont go into this with a goal of getting into a committed relationship. try making a new friend first. than you can better vet him but still have good fun times.

unless you attach yourself to him 24/7 or hire an expensive private investigator, you have to just go for it. You dont know what everyone does every second of the day.

Just dont work out your past issues through him. that will surely screw things up.

Interesting, I'm 12/7/82, not sure its a good match, but I seem to be drawn towards Caps, my ascendant is Cap actually. I guess I just proceed with caution.

You've only recently met this guy. You say you're texting and friends on FB. If you haven't even been on a date with him. Just because you're talking doesn't mean you're in an instant relationship. You're jumping the gun and placing your insecurities on him.

I'm not one to jump into a relationship, I mean I'm dating about three people, but like this guy the most and if i would have never saw the FB thing there wouldn't be any flags. I just know the flag made me pull back. The guy hasn't lacked action, his action actually matches what he is saying unlike my ex, I guess I'm just really cautious. I guess I'll just have to wait and see, but I know Im not one to open up and be vulnerable first and I don't think Capricorns are either so in order form me to become exclusive the other person has to let me know how they feel, bc I'm not one to say or do that first. Ugh I hate this..

he could asses the same red flag on you because your seeing multiple people. You cant have it both ways.