cap. men can't deal with confrontation

Wow what a great topic, why? because its so true.

Capmen are totally non-confrontational, hence the 'disappearing'acts, and this may also be the reason the never, ever want to bring up old fights, they hate confrontation,

Yeah when I subtley tried to hint at my feelings for this cap guy who I am confused about he completely ignored that the confrontation happened and never brought it up again.

maybe we just don't give a dam. drama queens , victoms, cunt frontation. we don't need it.

JT!! You hittin' the McClellan's again??

Well the reason I feel for this being is only because I realize that there's no point in doing that because we're only human (no matter what sign we are) and there's no way to change the past - and to bring up old fights is just - well - plain stupid really...I mean who cares? We've all done things in our past that we're not proud of - but that shouldn't come between friends and family - (and if it was something not even worth remembering anyways what's the point of bringing it back up?) What's done is done I believe at least 😛)

I think its rather a behavior of a male vs his particular sign. Let's face it women, we love to chat.. especially of our feelings. If its a topic that we have brought to our guys attention repeatedly, yep they will close up. JT was correct on one thing he had brought up.. drama. Where we may not be intentionally bringing up drama... a guy can see the topic and see very quickly how the conversation can take a turn for the worse and become a full, blown out war. It's really a matter of how women think vs how a male does. They can talk about a certain issue, but we need to know how and when to bring up the subject. We have to read there moods, just as they need to learn to read our own. There are a few times with my own husband, where he brought up a confrontation argument up and I really just did not have the energy to get into the discussion.

I do not think its a case of not liking confrontation. With my experience, not only with men but especially my cap husband.. lol its not the confrontation he runs from, but the intimacy of the topic. Just give them time.. bring little up at a time.

Awhile back I had an argument with my Cap guy and he said some things that made me really wonder if we had a future together. After the argument, things got better and one night I joked around with him about the thing that he had said. Well, he got upset and told me to never bring it up and that it was in the past. He then starting contradicting himself and told me all the good things that our relationship could be.

I've always wondered whether or not he just didn't want to ruin the night or if he was trying to hint to me that he didn't mean what he said in the argument. I'm too chicken to ask him now, so any thoughts —

Seriously , when will they understand that it just doesn't work this way—!!!

hhhhhmmmmmmmmmm TZN has us under a scope, a big magnafyer. also friends and faimly when they tell you you have to love them there your faimly or friend time to hit the road.

*laughs* I am married to a Capricorn so of all the signs, I tend to study this one the most. You all tend to be puzzling. Come across one way, but in fact completely different. My curiosity of human nature in general leaves me wanting to figure out just why you are a particular way, what moves and motivates you.. how can I take my knowledge and work with it to help the relationship grow.

Actually, earth signs in general leave me a bit puzzled, Capricorns do so more than the others.

Really likes Caps, lol hon I am sure you and I can toss stories all night and find we are a lot alike and have been through a lot of the same stuff with our guys. I have just read a few things you have posted and recall incidents just like those. *Hugs tightly* only because I know you do need that at time. You have had to learn to grow a thick, thick skin since getting involved with your Capi. I have a idea why they will avoid topic's like that, even if they were the ones to originally bring it up. It might be totally wrong, and it will not really help you much in getting them to open up but it will help to understand them.

Cap's are perfectionist.. things have to be in order, going a certain way and presenting a personal image they have in mind for there life. This goes for things within their circle well as things outside there circle that can effect their life. However, they are this way with themselves as well. They feel this inside desire to live up to this standard and be a certain way, if they have failed, watch out... usually a huge depression is just around the corner. I have noticed when my husband blows up and we get into an argument. He will purposely say the nastiest things to me.. spiteful and just wrong. When I later try to approach the topic he slams it shut in my face. For me, I like to grow and if he said something of my that I later come to realize and agree with, I want to change and work on myself. I no longer take it personal but hmm.. in a mind set that it's something I need to improve on. For him (And this took me about 8 yrs to get this out of him.. and it was shared just nonchalantly, we were not even in a discussion.. I believe I was talking about the moon) this works in two ways. Why he said it is because a part of him does feel that way if he were to really look into himself. He fights it, may know it is silly and maybe even superficial... but the feeling is still there. He knew he was wrong in bringing up and regrets it.

So where he might feel what he had said, he knew it was wrong. So when we later bring it up, he rather not talk about it at all. One because he understands that what he said was in its own way, unfair and hurtful. With my husband I know it is something he has been trying to work on.. instead of telling me things that will bring me down (Yes, its a capi trait to knock someones self esteem.. and they do feel remorse for it, this is what makes them different then most the signs) he is working to sharing things of encouragement or sharing the other bits in a none hateful, angry filled conversation. And the other bit to remember.. lol they hate being wrong, and apologising (a true apology) is hard for them to utter.. they rather move forward and let the past be past. They know they got out of line, they know you know they got out of line.. so why bring it up and instead focus on the future.

Least that's what I got from my husband after he opened up that one night, and in a strange way, it made complete sense.

TK~ How long did it take you to land this Goat?? Was he married before?

Several have been dealing with these monsters for 2,3,4 years, and still don't have any firm commitment, yet these caps. were married before and burned by an ex....

He was engaged before we met. She had burnt him badly, cheating and a lot more. But that is his story to tell... when we met he had pursued me for a year, I turned him down. I was strongly attracted to him, but his hmm current roommate had told a little fib about she and he being a couple. I have a personal rule about not dating the men my friends are currently dating, or even if they like them.

It took about a year before we finally got together. The events that took place and how we came to be together was very un capricorn like. It was a wild fire.. consuming and quick. He pressed me to move in with him a week after we met.. I did, because I am impulsive. We have been together over eight years, and married nearly six. I can not tell you why he was quicker with me rather then the other women in his life. I became friends even with a few of his ex girlfriends, one in particular waited four years for him.. and he gave her no commandment.. I never pressed him... never asked for it, if anything I shyed away from anything permanente, it was at his coaxing that I agreed to marry him. I just know that if I pressed him of any matter.. it's not going to work, it had always had to be his idea. Think my sagi really played into this.. It is important to me that someone decides something on there own without me having to pressure and nag them to change. That gypsy mentality.

tznkitten~~

Your "getting together" story sounds alot like mine with my Cap Hubby... Maybe Caps find it easier to commit to those not ready!?? (Saggies) LOL