Capricorn and break ups

I've been seeing a cap for 2 months although I've known him for about 5 years and he's really distant, I feel like he never makes an effort to make time for me although I always do for him, so I broke up with him to kind of make him realise that he needs to change as my nagging didn't seem to get through to him. Is this gonna work? What should I do? I still wanna be with him I just want him to make more of an effort.....

He's probably not going to change with nagging. It'll take time and they really like their alone time and him not spending time with you is probably he's busy and focussing on work or his career. Breaking up was only worth it if you can really apreciate your time apart. :c I did this same thing. It's not his fault for the distance and I'm sure he tried really hard to prove it to you.

I don't think it will work.
He will most likely just walk away and find someone else.

1) Since he already wasn't making you a priority, I don't think he's going to make a turn around here.
2) He most likely is going to see right through this manipulation tactic and be turned off by it. We hate to be manipulated. This is why your nagging wouldn't work on him either.

OMG! It's ONLY been two months. That is nothing. You're just a girl he's seeing. Two months and you're already nagging him to change? If you don't like him the way he is now, you're never going to be happy with him. Yeah, I'd be distant on you too. Buh-bye!

You could have taken the adult pathway and actually talked to him about how you're feeling and expressed to him that you'd like for him to make more effort instead of nagging and manipulating.

Hun, if you're going to threaten something (a break up you really didn't want), you have to be prepared for the consequences. Never ever threaten what you're not willing to follow through with. Otherwise, it's total manipulation, which 90% of the adult population will see it for what it is.

Forget him and deal with your consequences (the break up).

The silver lining - perhaps you can learn from this and grow as a person. Apply these lessons to your next relationship.

Posted by truecap
OMG! It's ONLY been two months. That is nothing. You're just a girl he's seeing. Two months and you're already nagging him to change? If you don't like him the way he is now, you're never going to be happy with him. Yeah, I'd be distant on you too. Buh-bye!

This ^^^^^

2 months? geez.........

Posted by Nessajosh
he needs to change

LOL @ trying to make an Earth Man change.

They'll swing a little if they are on a mission to get some ass but forcing them to change? Forget it.

Why nagging? Are you a Virgo?

Posted by Lucciferi

I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves you.

They way I read it, he already has. I'm sure when she played her "break up" card, he walked out the door and never looked back. He wasn't with her long enough to be invested in the relationship.

Posted by Lucciferi
This made me laugh. What you should do is talk like an adult and stop being childish by trying to nag him into some kind of passiveness.

How would you feel if someone nagged you about changing? Essentially, I feel anyway, you're constantly telling him that he's not good enough by nagging for change. and if he's not good enough? Leave. Although I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves you.

Hmm yea but he's a total hypocrite so I expect more of an effort, he will literally start a big argument if I don't text him back even if I tell him I'm in class or whatever, he's a total control freak but he can go 3 weeks without seeing me when he lives a 15min drive away. If he didn't expect so much commitment on my part I wouldn't be nagging him for the same

Posted by Sugarprincess1
He's probably not going to change with nagging. It'll take time and they really like their alone time and him not spending time with you is probably he's busy and focussing on work or his career. Breaking up was only worth it if you can really apreciate your time apart. :c I did this same thing. It's not his fault for the distance and I'm sure he tried really hard to prove it to you.

I don't feel like he has, he expects me to be there on call 24/7 when he's ready and he thinks I just have to take it if he's busy but he doesn't respect that I am also busy too. If I say I'm busy he'll go MIA. I just demand respect from him which I don't feel I'm getting relationships are 50/50 and he's only giving me like 2% =/

Yall are just on two different pages.

So what am I supposed to do now take it all back and say I'm sorry and look like an indecisive idiot?

Posted by champranger

Posted by Nessajosh

Posted by Lucciferi
This made me laugh. What you should do is talk like an adult and stop being childish by trying to nag him into some kind of passiveness.

How would you feel if someone nagged you about changing? Essentially, I feel anyway, you're constantly telling him that he's not good enough by nagging for change. and if he's not good enough? Leave. Although I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves you.

Hmm yea but he's a total hypocrite so I expect more of an effort, he will literally start a big argument if I don't text him back even if I tell him I'm in class or whatever, he's a total control freak but he can go 3 weeks without seeing me when he lives a 15min drive away. If he didn't expect so much commitment on my part I wouldn't be nagging him for the same

Just ignore him if he starts an argument, simply because you don't text him back immediately. Nagging will not help because it will not get your point across and to him, it will only seem to be noise that he needs to filter out.

Sometimes, less is more. Less words can be more effective.

click to expand

Yea that's true I guess I overreacted to some extent but I feel like there was no other way to make him listen. So what am I supposed to do about the break up?

Nesse we need data. What is your sign? We cannot help you if don't enough information.

Posted by Nessajosh

Posted by champranger

Posted by Nessajosh

Posted by Lucciferi
This made me laugh. What you should do is talk like an adult and stop being childish by trying to nag him into some kind of passiveness.

How would you feel if someone nagged you about changing? Essentially, I feel anyway, you're constantly telling him that he's not good enough by nagging for change. and if he's not good enough? Leave. Although I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves you.

Hmm yea but he's a total hypocrite so I expect more of an effort, he will literally start a big argument if I don't text him back even if I tell him I'm in class or whatever, he's a total control freak but he can go 3 weeks without seeing me when he lives a 15min drive away. If he didn't expect so much commitment on my part I wouldn't be nagging him for the same

Just ignore him if he starts an argument, simply because you don't text him back immediately. Nagging will not help because it will not get your point across and to him, it will only seem to be noise that he needs to filter out.

Sometimes, less is more. Less words can be more effective.

Yea that's true I guess I overreacted to some extent but I feel like there was no other way to make him listen. So what am I supposed to do about the break up?

click to expand

nothing. let him go. he sounds like a douche anyway. he will never be what you want, which is why you felt the need to constantly nag him which is what led to you breaking up with him. *shrug*

Posted by miamivirgo
Nesse we need data. What is your sign? We cannot help you if don't enough information.

An Aquarius I don't know about my moon and stuff sorry but my birthday is 7th feb 1995 if that helps

Posted by capgirl69

Posted by Nessajosh

Posted by champranger

Posted by Nessajosh

Posted by Lucciferi
This made me laugh. What you should do is talk like an adult and stop being childish by trying to nag him into some kind of passiveness.

How would you feel if someone nagged you about changing? Essentially, I feel anyway, you're constantly telling him that he's not good enough by nagging for change. and if he's not good enough? Leave. Although I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves you.

Hmm yea but he's a total hypocrite so I expect more of an effort, he will literally start a big argument if I don't text him back even if I tell him I'm in class or whatever, he's a total control freak but he can go 3 weeks without seeing me when he lives a 15min drive away. If he didn't expect so much commitment on my part I wouldn't be nagging him for the same

Just ignore him if he starts an argument, simply because you don't text him back immediately. Nagging will not help because it will not get your point across and to him, it will only seem to be noise that he needs to filter out.

Sometimes, less is more. Less words can be more effective.

Yea that's true I guess I overreacted to some extent but I feel like there was no other way to make him listen. So what am I supposed to do about the break up?

nothing. let him go. he sounds like a douche anyway. he will never be what you want, which is why you felt the need to constantly nag him which is what led to you breaking up with him. *shrug*

click to expand

Your probably right it will be a lot less stressful for the both of us