Capricorn Girl —

I have a very general question about cap girls and relationships.
Suppose that a cap girl is in a relationship.
Would she lead someone else on?

To make a long story short, she is the one who asked me out first. We have gone out a few times, email a lot, and then I find out she has a boyfriend. When she did tell me in an email, it seemed like she didn't want to.

Now I'll admit that I feel pretty stupid because I still like her, even though she is with someone else, and knows how I feel. Ok, I have not said Everything directly to her, but she would easily know through emails and actions. It just really gets me because she is the one who started everything, and if she didn't, well, I wouldn't be miserable now.

One thing to note, she is 23 if that helps any. And I may have oversimplified the story, but I think people can get the gist of it. And if it further helps, I am a scorpio.

Thanks. I know what you mean; I didn't mean to be indirect. I guess my 'direct' may not have been as much as I thought it was. And I think you're exactly right -

I know I have to be direct, but the reason why I am putting it off is simple: I feel she doesn't need an excuse to not acknowledge anything and being direct won't matter to her at all.

take that with a grain of salt, mojo... branh loves a good generalization, especially when slung at women, and even moreso at cap women.

though, like jack said, it does sound iffy. nothing like good direct confrontation about what's on your mind. if an answer is what you want, then straight up asking her is probably the only way you're gonna get it. good luck, mo

Thanks for the replies, I do believe that she is honest; the reason I don't want to ask her directly right now is because I feel I already know the answer (ie: NO, and I know that by proloning this, it seems it will just make it worse). So Cap, I agree with you that she would be honest, the thing that bothered me goes a little more with what Capgirlinlustwithleo is saying.

To answer you Capgirlinlustwithleo, I would say that it was borderline romance / platonic - - it seemed that she may have just liked to take things slow or something. This is also a big problem, because there was hope in the beginning. This may sound silly, but you only need a small amount of hope to begin falling for someone. But I may just think too much. What you said about men-women friendship is applying here: I would have rather her have told me at first, and I wonder why she didn't. Even though I never bluntly asked her how she feels, well, let's just say I've said everything but the most bluntest or obvious thing, well question.

Now, my question here, is why does she keep letting me do this?
If any of you cap girls were in a relationship and something like this happened, what would you do? Would you tell the guy to back off, or would you let him keep doing it?
To go with notso07: She has a boyfriend, why wouldn't she tell me to leave her alone?

If any of you cap girls were in a relationship and something like this happened, what would you do? Would you tell the guy to back off, or would you let him keep doing it?


I 'unno, these things are a lot more simple for me. Probably because I create my own answers. I would tell the guy to back off. For me, its only gonna be whoever I am with and thats it... thick or thin. Relationships are confusing enough with just the two people involved to let someone else in. If I see that a guy who I was trying to be friends with wants something more from me, I absolutely tell him where my heart is... that is, with the man I am with and not him. And again, I also tell him to back off. It isnt easy and it's no fun, but it saves people from wasting time and and at least some emotions. And like Capgirl said, its never easy trying to figure out what anyone means when emotions are involved. Thinking too much happens. Your mind playing tricks with your heart happens. Go with your own best judgement since you know the situation best. Though, I still think being direct or at least more direct will help.

I dunno that I understand the situation clearly so what I'm about to say may not make sense, but maybe she's letting you do whatever it is that you're doing because you haven't been direct yet? And why havent you?

WaterBearingTwinGoat, no she is not doing anything like that. I am interested in taking responsibility for my actions; I am putting her first in what I am thinking because I know that she is not trying to be manipulative or anything. I guess what I meant, is more with what CreepyPants said in her post.

CreepyPants, what you were saying you would do is what I may have expected from her, or would make things very clear. I do know my situation, and it is a little more complicated than I have described here. At the same time, maybe it is simpler than I think. Some of you probably know the feeling that if you met someone at a different time, things could have been so much better, and a lot different.
Yes, I think I have been direct, meaning she knows how I feel.

Capgirlinlustwithleo, women are also hard to read. This is probably why both men and women get themselves into these situations.

Thanks Again

yeah, now that I read what I wrote, I just rewrote what you said, but it is very true

hrmmm okay. well if she's anything similar to me, then she'll distance herself from you if what you are doing is making her uncomfortable if she hasnt outright said 'stop', but it doesnt sound like that is whats going on. ...? i dunno. if you have feelings for her, that she's well aware of, and she's continuing with this budding friendship/relationship with you then either she is comfortable with how you feel(perhaps you havent made any pushy advance or something) and will continue to keep the friendship you guys have because she likes you too(platonicly), or she more than just likes you and perhaps is confused... in which case thats unfamiliar emotional territory for me and i cant really say anything. though it seems you like her enough to bother with all of this... and the fact that she's already taken. ya, i dont know the situation. sounds like there could be countless other factors... her relationship, etc. but good luck in getting what you want. let me just remind you that there's no sense in pushing her into any extra feelings while she's in a relationship still. how would you feel if you were to become her boyfriend knowing that she has the ability to have a wandering eye. every situation is different, but it's just something to think about.

Cap: it is not simple with this girl - - the annoying part is that she is the one who started it (but I did continue, and may have continued too long or far).

jackdoniel: Yes, the timing is the worst part; it is one of those 'what if'. I know exactly what you mean. I know the situation, and I have accepted it. It is not easy though.

CreepyPants: No, she is not distancing. I can't say if it is just comfort, confusion. It seems like there could be more, but again this is just seems. I would stress though that it seems that there could have been more if she wasn't seeing anyone. There are a lot of factors that make it hard (though this is true in life in general, but it seems that this is just not the best time). Yes, I do like her enough to bother with all this. You are also right to point that out, about no sense it pushing her or anything. I do realize this, and I am not going to do anything rash and I will think about all that everyone has said.

Thanks again, and right now, I am not going to be too pushy and I just have to see how things go.

cap, sorry for being real unclear.
She never told me much of anything about her boyfriend- - in the middle of an email, she had mentioned that she had boyfriend issues and that has a lot going on. This is why I say that now is just not a good time. To be honest, it seemed like she didn't really want to tell me.

Don't mean to be unclear again, but when I think about it, I can see why I thought she may have wanted something more, and at the same time, I can see she had boyfriend. This may make things more unclear, and sorry. I do remember that her roommate seemed to not like the fact that she was always emailing me or seeing me.

Sorry to be unclear, but I think from what I mentioned her boyfriend, it is clear that now is not a good time. And I also realize that I could have, and right now, feels like, I made anything out of nothing.

And just to note, she is not my type.

i do feel stupid

Greatbull: I see what you are saying, and I know that being the 'other guy' is not good, and nothing good would come of it.
You are right about trust, and CreepyPants said a similar thing; both of which are true.

Cap: I know it could mean anything, a lot of things with her could.

Not my type: yes, this is ironic, she really isn't, and that is the thing that gets me. I guess instead of liking a type I like her.
Yes, all this may not be rational, but I guess I am irrational.

I'm a Capricorn. I love Scorpios!!! I would definitely lead a man on if he was on the same level as me. If I thought he was better than my current find... I would probably.. PROBABLY .. depending on who I'm with -- I'd drop them for the other person!

On another note, she wants to know that she can have you as a good friend no matter what. She also probably didn't tell you because she feared you'd walk out of her life.

Bless you!

Hey Mojo,

How about posting an update as my story is also kind of similar to yours and knowing that what happened in your story will help me!

Alchemist

How common. A judgemental slut who thinks she is Saint Mary.

so i am a cap woman..and a very complicated one at that. ... Im going to tell you exactly what I am like but this doesnt mean this is her intention..

I love to be in relationships so i mostly always have a boyfriend. To be honest, i love to flirt so i will probably lead guys on just to boost my ego.. i kno its horrible but i do.. I have flirted behind my boyfriends back many times before but i will never leave him unless i really dont like my boy.Although i do flirt and lead guys on, I will nver straight up lie.I would not tell a guy i want to be with him if i did not. Try confronting her and ask her whats her deal.. i know it will make you very vulnerable but if u really want to know then thats what you should do.
if I were in a relationship and someone i dont care about asked.. me i would tell him the straight truth. My answer would probably be somewhere along the lines of " i really like you but right now i am really happy with my boyfriend" ... this is mostly just to keep you hanging on. ... To tell you the truth though, I will always be with the person that I really like. So my advice to you is try hard and get over her because if she is not with you right now and is choosing him over you, chances are she only likes you for when shes bored and not in a relationship.

GOOD luck and hopefully.. this isnt the case

I'm so glad I read this thread !! I have the same situation going on. I would love to hear more. I recently just stop talking to a female Cap. Not directly but just as a friend would say. "Hey I'll talk to you soon". I'm a Taurus male.

Posted by CreepyPants
take that with a grain of salt, mojo... branh loves a good generalization, especially when slung at women, and even moreso at cap women.

though, like jack said, it does sound iffy. nothing like good direct confrontation about what's on your mind. if an answer is what you want, then straight up asking her is probably the only way you're gonna get it. good luck, mo

Yeah just ask, beating around the bush or acting weird will just annoy us. Be direct.