Capricorn has become silent

I don't have a very long story, but let me just begin. I met this capricorn guy this year in January. It was instant attraction for both of us. For two months, we texted and kept in touch on daily basis. He would make plans to meet me whenever he came to my city. I really admire him for his honesty and straightforwardness. Never made any false promises or even I Love You..Is he meeting me to analyse me?

After 3 months, he started becoming silent and aloof. Our conversations decreased and he stopped initiating conversations. I kept in touch and he would reply almost all the time, except few. He was and still is facing problems at workplace and due to his boss. He's still silent and aloof.

About the getting physical thing, he knows very well that I won't get physical with him, no matter what. It's a big thing for me and I am saving myself for my special one. Goes without saying that I want him to be that special one, but only if I get some commitment.

But we again met when I told him I will be in his city for 2 days. We went for lunch and had a great time.

Sometimes I get really flustered that things may not turn the way I want them to but the next moment, I can assure myself that I want him, no matter what it takes and how much time. I love him from the core of my heart. He's a good person. I have a feeling that he's testing me. I never had any serious relationships before. just 1-2 crushes. LOL.

Btw, I am 28 and he's 34. Please help me. Guide Me. Do you guys and girls think he's testing me ? Capricorn men please I need your help.

How many times have you actually met in person? It's long distance? How far?

I'm going to go into more detail than I normally would because you stated you didn't have a lot of experience in dating.

The three month period is about how long it takes to get to know someone well enough to decide if it's someone you want to move forward with or someone you want to cut loose. I mean the three month period is kind of like the cut off period. At this point, it goes either way and if it doesn't move forward no hard feelings and it's not personal. And, at this point, options should still be kept open meaning to date others, talk to others - there's no comittment, so why not?

If it doesn't work out, it's not personal because just because you're not perfect for them, or they're not perfect for you, then it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or you haven't done anything wrong, etc. It's just not a perfect match. And if there's no committment or much investment, an "break up" or explanation really isn't necessary. Oh, it's best and it's polite, but a lot of people feel like one's not owed at this point.

I'm not saying he's cut you loose, but it kind of sounds like he's drifting away. Maybe he's met someone closer?

When he stopped initiating, you should have stopped too. When you keep texting them, they feel chased and it makes you look needy and desperate. Once a while is okay, but if it's often, then it's not. Usually when someone stops initiating, it means they are losing interest.

I don't know how to say this without hurting your feelings, but it's not a test. I think he's just not interested.

Now there is alot that is coming from this situtions and I will just name a few.

1. You just met him

2. You both live in different cities.

3. You don't want to have sex, to see what he may want after that has passed.

4. He's a capricorn.

LOL no I am not a cap man but my dad is one and I will NEVER date a man like him.
The short responses I think are just from men period, because some dont like to text.
So how close are you both to living to each other?

Overall I would say that you should do your part and give all that you can. I just don't believe in alot of mind playing. If he has been hurt then alot of things can cause him to act this way. I have had a Cap crush and things between him at times would cause use to bump heads. He is more so of just speaking to me when he wants to. EVERYTHING is on the Caps terms and when they feel as tho they are ready to give you what they want you to have.

Posted by gabbargirl
After 3 months, he started becoming silent and aloof. Our conversations decreased and he stopped initiating conversations. I kept in touch ....
Sometimes I get really flustered that things may not turn the way I want them to but the next moment, I can assure myself that I want him, no matter what it takes and how much time. I love him from the core of my heart.

Okay, here is where you need to be careful. It makes you appear needy, desperate or clingy to him. The "feeling flustered" and the "no matter what" attitude is really fear and insecurity in that you're going to lose him. This comes across in interactions and body language, pheromones, etc as desperate. A man can smell that a mile off. It reeks. And it scares them off.

Another point I wanted to make to help you put things in perspective is it's long distance, I'm assuming, so that means that you can't have spend much time together in three months....so it's not love you're feeling. It takes longer than that to fall in love. I believe what you're feeling is infatuation.

I promise, I'm not trying to hurt you. Hopefully you can take some of this and use it as a lesson for the next time.

Posted by truecap
How many times have you actually met in person? It's long distance? How far?

I'm going to go into more detail than I normally would because you stated you didn't have a lot of experience in dating.

The three month period is about how long it takes to get to know someone well enough to decide if it's someone you want to move forward with or someone you want to cut loose. I mean the three month period is kind of like the cut off period. At this point, it goes either way and if it doesn't move forward no hard feelings and it's not personal. And, at this point, options should still be kept open meaning to date others, talk to others - there's no comittment, so why not?

If it doesn't work out, it's not personal because just because you're not perfect for them, or they're not perfect for you, then it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or you haven't done anything wrong, etc. It's just not a perfect match. And if there's no committment or much investment, an "break up" or explanation really isn't necessary. Oh, it's best and it's polite, but a lot of people feel like one's not owed at this point.

I'm not saying he's cut you loose, but it kind of sounds like he's drifting away. Maybe he's met someone closer?

When he stopped initiating, you should have stopped too. When you keep texting them, they feel chased and it makes you look needy and desperate. Once a while is okay, but if it's often, then it's not. Usually when someone stops initiating, it means they are losing interest.

I don't know how to say this without hurting your feelings, but it's not a test. I think he's just not interested.

Thank you for all your advice.

I have met him around 6 times by now. The distance between us is almost a thousand miles.
When we had initially started talking, he told me that he is not the kind of person to fall in love with someone very easily. I think they don't trust easily.

If I ask him for advice, he's always there. He says let me know if you need help. The last time he was here, he also told me that he's planning to buy a house in my city.

Posted by VirgoCupcake
Now there is alot that is coming from this situtions and I will just name a few.

1. You just met him

2. You both live in different cities.

3. You don't want to have sex, to see what he may want after that has passed.

4. He's a capricorn.

LOL no I am not a cap man but my dad is one and I will NEVER date a man like him.
The short responses I think are just from men period, because some dont like to text.
So how close are you both to living to each other?

Overall I would say that you should do your part and give all that you can. I just don't believe in alot of mind playing. If he has been hurt then alot of things can cause him to act this way. I have had a Cap crush and things between him at times would cause use to bump heads. He is more so of just speaking to me when he wants to. EVERYTHING is on the Caps terms and when they feel as tho they are ready to give you what they want you to have.

Hi Virgocupcake, we are almost a thousand miles apart, 800 miles precisely. His responses are short but whenever i seek advise from him, he's always ready to help. I feel that he's doing it purposely maybe because he has been dumped before and wants reassurance himself that I really like him. Everytime he has plans to visit my city, he tells me before and plans everything. He matches each and every trait of capricorn to the T. Myself, I am a very plain looking girl but with a good sense of humour and intelligence.

I do think he has been hurt before. When we had initially started talking, he told me that he is not the kind of person to fall in love with someone very easily. I think they don't trust easily.

Somehow, what you said feels very reassuring, maybe because it's exactly what I am also feeling. I have met him around 6 times since December-January, when we first met. Sometimes my institution is so strong for him that on a particular day, I get this hunch that he will tell me a particular thing and the same thing happens. It really surprises me.

If I ask him for advice, he's always there. He says let me know if you need help. The last time he was here, he also told me that he's planning to buy a house in my city.

I am getting a bit frustrated but what I Know that I am not ready to give up.

Posted by truecap

Posted by gabbargirl
After 3 months, he started becoming silent and aloof. Our conversations decreased and he stopped initiating conversations. I kept in touch ....
Sometimes I get really flustered that things may not turn the way I want them to but the next moment, I can assure myself that I want him, no matter what it takes and how much time. I love him from the core of my heart.

Okay, here is where you need to be careful. It makes you appear needy, desperate or clingy to him. The "feeling flustered" and the "no matter what" attitude is really fear and insecurity in that you're going to lose him. This comes across in interactions and body language, pheromones, etc as desperate. A man can smell that a mile off. It reeks. And it scares them off.

Another point I wanted to make to help you put things in perspective is it's long distance, I'm assuming, so that means that you can't have spend much time together in three months....so it's not love you're feeling. It takes longer than that to fall in love. I believe what you're feeling is infatuation.

I promise, I'm not trying to hurt you. Hopefully you can take some of this and use it as a lesson for the next time.

click to expand

Truecap, thanks for this one also. All your advice is welcome. I am very much an expert in covering my feelings. I can be equally aloof and when we meet, we talk general stuff and never any feelings etc.