Capricorn man crush? Help me?

Hey. I kind of need some help.
Ever since I came to College I have liked this guy. I am a very shy girl and didn't have the courage to say "Hello." to him. He is in a different group so we aren't colleagues. I only see him at lectures. Every time he is around and I see him I kind of get panicked and can't look at him in the eye. I have a lot of insecurities and I fear he won't like me too much. I like him because of his quiet nature and because we have some common interests and I never like a guy like I like him. From what I have heard he is very kind, but he is busy with some sort of meetings...I saw him on Facebook and added him but he rejected the request but I still don't want to give up on him. I wasn't offended by that. I really don't know what to do...
I don't want to lose him. I really want to get to know him. I hope I did not freak him out or something because most of the time I try to sit in his back at lectures. I feel happy every time I see him. I find myself smiling as I go home. I feel more motivated at college because I feel the need to impress him with my marks. I can tell he has insecurities as well.
I just want to know a way to talk to him without being too sudden or to scare him away or annoy him. I never had a boyfriend so I don't know how I am supposed to react.
I am a Cancer born on the 27th of June.
He is born on the 19th of January.

Can someone give me some advice please? 🙂

I am insecure already. You could have at least be polite... Gosh. I shouldn't even bothered asking for help...

I don't want to manipulate him. I was going to make the first move. I just wanted to know how without being an irritating bitch.

You're having a crush. Relax.

You don't even know him that well

Yes, I know it's a crush. I never said I loved him. I want to be his friend first but I don't know how to begin. I don't want to be shy but I can't help it. I really can't. But please, I am having a hard time, I don't want harsh comments, just some advice. 🙂

I'll give you advice I tell you to leave him alone coz he not interested in you anymore

He doesn't even know me. This site is full of trolls...

I just wanted some advice and then everyone jumps at me 'cause I am a cancer and I can't help feeling what I feel.

I won't leave him alone unless he tells me to. Isn't there at least a decent person on this site that can give me some decent advice and doesn't mock me in the face? This is my first crush and I wanted to make it work. Who are you to tell me to leave him alone?

You have no idea how many hardships I had to face to find someone like him...how lonely I am...

Why are you chasing a guy who is showing no interest in you whatsoever?

As someone who dated a Cap for 3 years and has dealt with many Cap friends, I can say that if he's interested in you, you will know! Caps are usually straightforward and don't like their time to be wasted, and they will be very upfront about letting you know that. Rejecting your Facebook request is a clear sign that he's not interested.

But if you still want to pursue it, TALK TO HIM. Like CluelessCancer said, the indirect thing won't work here. Try communicating with him in person and if that doesn't work, there are plenty of more fish in the sea.

Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. 🙂

However, I feel more discouraged than ever.

...
It doesn't matter anymore...I shouldn't have done this. Don't bother answering anymore.

I'm sorry. Not accepting a facebook request is not encouraging. He may have a good reason. Maybe you should try talking to him in person some more. Crushes are intense feelings.

Having him reject the facebook ad may be an indication of him not being interested so thats why I said to leave him alone.

You say you want to get to know him then how about say hello and talk about subjects you doing in school or other stuff? See how that goes

Hello gaarahugger,

Please excuse some of the people around here. They can be abrasiveness, unfriendly, and insensitive. You've been very clear about the fact that you don't have much experience but feel a strong attraction to this guy. Nothing wrong with either thing.

However, I think that trying to talk to him is certainly the best first step because you can't have anything more from him if you haven't even talked to him. I realize based on what you said that this will be quite a challenge for you, but as college students, one of the simplest things that you can do is to ask him for help or work on projects/homework together. I met my very first boyfriend in precisely this way. It didn't work out in the long run, but all these many years later, he remains a good friend to me.

The fact that he rejected your Facebook request is not a big deal in my opinion. Some people keep FB as a way of communicating with family or very close friends. Some people use FB as an outlet to be outrageous and wild. Whatever his situation may be, I don't think it's particularly meaningful at this point.

No matter what, I wish you good luck.

...

I noticed he feels comfortable in the presence of his friends, so I think he rejected my request because he did not know me. I think I will confront him after two weeks at the Production House. We will be somehow going to interact there.
I also feel kind of intimidated by him because he only smiles with his friends and dresses very dark and gives me the impression he wants to be left alone, but I'm sure he is a kind person.
I am not obsessed with him. If I found out he was taking drugs or something like that I wouldn't want anything to do with him.
Thank you SpincenShiugar I appreciate your advice. 🙂

That's good that you have a sense of boundaries and know what behavior you will and will not accept. This will help you balance out the intense feelings of a crush. Go slow and time will tell. Good luck!

This won't work, you are already anxious and have the wrong energy to begin with.

You come across needy and that energy will turn a Cap male slap off. Cap males are attracted to confidence, hell men in general love a confident secure woman.

You are insecure (your words) and that just won't send out the right vibe to a man.

Work on getting your self esteem up so you can feel secure and as someone else said start off talking about the course since you both have that in common, introduce yourself properly, firm handshake, beautiful smile and if he's remotely interested you'll know.

He may have a girlfriend already so calm down and stop planting all your happiness, hopes and dreams on this ONE man, it's too much.

You MUST be secure, you have to be or it won't work for you.

He doesn't have a girlfriend. I found out. If he had one I would have left him alone.

I am insecure because I am from another country that does not have a very positive background and he is from the Netherlands. I will try to be more secure. I am usually very outgoing after I know a person a little, I am very open minded, so just our introduction may be a little bit awkward. This always happens to me. When I am in a room with strangers I just want to disappear. But once I meet someone I become more secure. I have good and bad days.

😉

I agree with Spicensugar and with Tiki.

Just sit close to him and ask a simple question about the course. Give him a chance to get to know you. Smile. Be cheerful. Fake confidence until it becomes natural. Participate in activities you excel at. That will help you become more secure with yourself.

I used to be shy too. If I had a crush I would avoid him. Sounds silly doesn't it. I finally learned to adopt the attitude of what's the worse that could happen and figured out the worse really isn't that bad. You can't move forward unless you take a chance and 80% of the time there will be some success. The other 20% that fails just builds character and experience.

Even the most confident people strike out. Talk to some friends you see as confident and ask them about stories of when they took a chance and failed and about what happened after that. It will be inspiring.

So get out there girl and start taking chances.

Fake it til you make it!!

+1 Truecap

Gaar don't allow your background to determine your worth, you have value no matter where you're from.

Did you find out if he's Gay or Heterosexual?

No offense to Gay people or anything but it's just one of those questions you need to know before getting all gushy gah gah over a guy.

I thought about if he is gay or not honestly, and I don't think he is. He just seems busy all the time.

I honestly thought about giving he a break today, but after I saw him I could say I would be lying to myself. Some of my anxiety disappeared. I am just waiting for my moment to strike.

I would still want to be his friend if he was gay...but the only damage that would make is my feelings. He could damage my feeling big time if he was gay.

Hope dies last I guess.

Posted by gaarahugger

Thank you SpicenSugar I appreciate your advice. 🙂

At your service 🙂

UPDATE: So I finally talked to him a few days ago. He started the conversation. We were in the lecture hall and we sat right next to each other. When we talked we were both smiling at each other. He seemed quite tense around me. He kept switching positions. Now that this big step has been made I can talk to him whenever I feel like. I am so happy. I like him so much. 🙂

I would listen to CC here. Also, if he rejected your Fb request, I wonder if he has a girlfriend already.

Posted by CluelessCancer
You know I have a problem too where i build fantasies around a person and reject reality, in the end that's harmful, don't obsess over anybody who doesn't respect you or even see your worth. You'll eventually see it though, people always do.

Ooops, I got stuck on the first page of this thread. I see that he hasn't got a GF. I do think CC has good words above, and recommend you take heed.

I don't see why it's harmful that I like him and want to be with him. It's not like he's unreachable. I think he likes me at least a little. I don't think I obsess. He is my first real crush.

No offence but I think CC is kind of a troll. Why shouldn't Cancers and Capricorns be together? There never are enough Cancer and Capricorn couples. 😉

And about that ridiculous Facebook request, he accepted it the second time I added him. When we talked in the lecture room at college he showed me some posts from people he didn't even meet in person and he complained about how ridiculous their status was.
After a while his pen fell from his desk I kind of made a move to go and grab it but stopped myself. I guess he saw my reflex and smiled at me.
I can't wait to talk to him more.

CC is CC--she'll give you her honest truth. Getting offended by something she says is part of the fun of being here on dxpnet. You'll learn that she also says wise things, too. If you read what she wrote (what I quoted) maybe you'll get something out of it.

Posted by gaarahugger
Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. 🙂

However, I feel more discouraged than ever.

...
It doesn't matter anymore...I shouldn't have done this. Don't bother answering anymore.

Aww, Gaarahugger, if you're still reading this, don't get discouraged!

Cap guys are a strange breed (no offense). It's good because they are challenging, and the usual feminine "tricks" don't work on them IMO.

I suggest doing something to get him to notice you, nothing weird though because he'll probably run faster than a skittish billy goat..harhar...

Maybe you could ask him about homework, and show him how serious and studious you are. Find out some clubs and organizations he may belong to and join, not in a stalker way. Make yourself useful to him.

Good luck!

Garrahugger, I'm happy for you! Just keep talking and smiling. he'll soon figure out how sweet and special you are. 🙂

UPDATE:
Hey guys. So I decided to end my study in the Netherlands and this means I won't be seeing him any more and I would have to give up on him...so I gave him a love letter telling him every single little thing he made me feel. We were never going to see each other and I had nothing to lose.

On the day I gave him the letter he came and sat next to me and I told him I needed to speak to him after the lecture. He asked why and I avoided giving him a concrete answer. I complimented his hair and he smiled and said 'OK'. 😄

At the lecture we talked and he looked like he enjoyed my company. He poked my phone with his pen and I kind of panicked because I did not know how to react and I playfully punched his shoulder. I felt awkward after.

After the lecture we went in the hall and told him that I might not see him again and gave him a box of chocolates and attached to it was the letter. He hugged me and I left. I was a little shaken up by that. I did not expect it.

Later that night he responded to me and told me my letter was sweet and he said he would like to hang out a little before I left the country.

Wow! Too bad you're having to leave now, but see what a little courage did for you? It sounds like he responded to that letter positively.

Yeah, I feel really bad for leaving...But unfortunately I could not adapt.

I feel worse for leaving him. He is such a nice guy. In my country there are 80% douchebags...It will be hard finding someone like him...

I talked to him a few hours ago and we are to meet next Friday. I am really nervous and excited...and happy. 🙂

Posted by cowpuncher
But alas... not my heart. We Capricorns don't have those.

Why are you still alive? Fuck, I missed the ratios again..I must be really fond of you.

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by Damnata

Posted by cowpuncher
But alas... not my heart. We Capricorns don't have those.

Why are you still alive? Fuck, I missed the ratios again..I must be really fond of you.

Btw Scruffy, for you and Damnata, I can offer some 2 for 1 coupons. You two are worth blowing my profit margins for 😄

click to expand

You're hell bent on getting a Romanian chick, aren't you? 😄

nursing is not only comforting, you actually need to be competent and efficient.

fuck comfort, save my life please.

I can actually imagine a Cancer nurse on the war front: (j/k grumpers)

Patient comes in with gun wounds..he is still bleeding and in intense pain

Cancer: There, there
Patient: Please bandage me
Cancer: Wait, I will give you a soup or smthg
Patient: But..my...wounds...
Cancer: *pats him on his head*
Patient slowly dying: Please...


Cancer nurse (upset over him declining the soup offer):

Posted by CluelessCancer
I seriously don't understand why Virgo likes cap energy. Are you masochists??

earth-earth is some kinky sado-maso shit.

but most of us don't take it that far.

To address the "hating people" comment.

I always think of House MD.

People are idiots and most of us have no clue of medicine..we wander around the ER and tell them where we feel the pain and our theories on it. Please hate me, don't take anything I say at face value and research the shit out of what you think is the issue.

But seriously, to be able to detach is extremely important..this way you can focus on the issue and not on the patient.

That's exactly what I was thinking you were saying CP.

I've been told I should run a brother house or smthg. I'd handle the business end of it really well, take them for tests regularly..

And I have zero problems with slapping a bitch in a nanosecond if she comes to me "This client made me do this. It's so degrading"

*brothel

So many compliments CP...

I'd almost blush if you weren't drugged up atm. I am getting better with the roofies 😛

Posted by Scruffy

Posted by eight67530nine

I'm boring

Liar. Goat males are never boring...

click to expand

Typical Capricorn line "I'm boring". It draws women in to show the poor Cap he isn't boring..but exciting. So they take the guy on dates..poor guy...he surely is a diamond in the rough. He doesn't have to lift a finger and you'll shoulder the burden of the relationship without ever realizing it.

I like boring people a lot..I'm way all over the place.

Posted by Scruffy

Posted by cowpuncher

Dammit Crabbypants, pay attention! Nobody was pimping you. YOU and Damnata were the Johns. *I* was your ho! I also gave you two a group discount, AND the bulk discount, to encourage you both to do a LOT of repeat business.

*smh* You just can't be nice to people anymore. TRY to give a girl a really great bargain, and she still doesn't pay attn and ends up complaining.

Oh yeah? How do we know you are going to deliver? May I suggest some practice on a Romanian chick (or two) before we let you walk the streets...uhh...pasture.

click to expand

Dude you're playing right into his hands with that comment.

smh

Posted by Scruffy

Posted by Damnata

Typical Capricorn line "I'm boring". It draws women in to show the poor Cap he isn't boring..but exciting. So they take the guy on dates..poor guy...he surely is a diamond in the rough. He doesn't have to lift a finger and you'll shoulder the burden of the relationship without ever realizing it.

I like boring people a lot..I'm way all over the place.

A Goat man will always say they're boring (or give off that impression) to keep you at arm's length while he studies you and assesses if you're worth his while. It's not cold or impersonal, it's a strategy.

Once he decides you're worth his time, you'll be surprised what he can - and does - unleash upon you. He'll know you better than you know yourself and will care for your every need and want.

click to expand

I know them, I get along great with most of them, was engaged to one.

But when they go player mode, their game is really solid. Libras also are extremely good at gaming women.

I never said anything about Virgos and Caps.

Not surprised you cannot see the humor in what I said.

(Some) People react way too emotionally to anything and this gets in the way of a cool head approach for someone who has to deal with urgent matters.

Extremely emotional people cannot survive in the ER...way too quick to the trigger. They take everything personally and it's not about them, it's about keeping your cool under pressure.

^

Whatever sign these people are.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Damnata
I never said anything about Virgos and Caps.

Not surprised you cannot see the humor in what I said.

We're a very serious people. I am atleast. I don't know about other Cancers, sheet some of them i don't even want to claim and there's one who is FAKE (scruffy is not a cancer, idc what the heffer says). There is no humor in soup. We're not all homemakers and housewives.

We actually have hopes, dreams, and goals.

Just cause you're a Virgo and you kiss Capricorn Ass, doesn't entail that you own logic or practicality.

click to expand

This has nothing to do with my point but again you are reacting emotionally.

You are entitled to your opinion of me so make sure to attack me and NOT get what everyone was talking about.

Posted by CluelessCancer
I don't know about Nursing or ER, but i already know that's not for me, not because of emotionality, but because i don't like to see suffering, i hate blood, and i can't even watch a scary movie without screaming.

But that's just me. There are many stone cold Cancers and SCorpios in the medical field and they do just fine.

Fair enough.

It wasn't about you.

I actually made a point in a direct way..I've seen Cancers behave like that. All of them? No.

And you react emotionally to anyone saying smthg bad about Cancers, as if they are talking about you.

You've seen the posts on Virgos..there's a lot of negative shit I agree with because it's true.

Objectivity is a beautiful think.

*thing

ugh, I already derailed this thread too much.

OP, come back and tell us about the Cap 😄

Not about you = not about CC and not about ALL cancers.