Capricorns and Closure

Hey caps. Just wondering about this concept. I had a recent conversation with another gal about closure and am curious to get other caps perspective on it.
Several questions on the subject (and add you own questions/answers as fitting)

So, do you give closure to someone you've broken up with?
If someone breaks up with you and they want closure, do you give it to them?
If that person insists on it, do you give it, or stubbornly refuse?
Do you need closure when someone breaks it off with you?

Personally, I don't get the concept of "closure". It's over, it's done. time to move on. What is there left to discuss? Why waste time beating a dead horse?
But maybe that's just me. I'd rather avoid a confrontational or emotional conversation (could be my aqua mars?) or I'm too mad and stubborn to allow them the peace of mind of getting that closure?

Who does closure really benefit?
The one doing the breaking up? or the one being broken up with? or both?

What are your thoughts, caps?

I always give closure. When I break up with someone I need them to know that it is truly over and why. I love getting closure as well. They may tell me something that I can think about in my next relationship. Closure to me feels final and I'm able to truly move on. There have been times that I haven't gotten it and had to give it to myself...that sucked, but I got through it. Sometimes when people don't have closure it feels like there might be something to go back to even when there is not.

Posted by capnip
Sometimes when people don't have closure it feels like there might be something to go back to even when there is not.

That's a good point.

I don't require it in a technical sense, because I know when it's over. What else is there to say?

I have had a few demand closure from me though. I dance and prance, and try to let them down easy with no hurt feelings. That never seems to work.

I think closure for some means --- "Cut me to the bone, and tap dance on my feelings".

I hate doing that, but am sometimes forced to. It's quite unpleasant.............

Maybe it's just me not being an english speaking native, but

"Personally, I don't get the concept of "closure". It's over, it's done. time to move on."

If you feel like this you got closure. Done done done. But as said, maybe I just don't get the concept.

Posted by HappyCapper
Maybe it's just me not being an english speaking native, but

"Personally, I don't get the concept of "closure". It's over, it's done. time to move on."

If you feel like this you got closure. Done done done. But as said, maybe I just don't get the concept.

It's usually the other person that wants closure, wherein I get closure from "it's over".

I have been pondering this over the last few months, after someone broke up with me. I'm definitely too proud and stubborn to give closure to the other person - it's an ego thing and a matter of self preservation of sorts. Closure talks won't give me peace and they only tend to raise more questions than answers.

My recent breakup made me go full no contact for the first time and cutting a person out of my life unceremoniously. I have not wavered one bit and I have truly surprised myself with this zen attitude 😄 Trust me I have learned this the hard way - cancer clinginess and fighting the inner emotional vortex can be the worst nightmare for cancers themselves. Plus I have Mars in Scorpio so it gives a little twist to it as well. Ugh! By channeling my cappy coolness consciously I seem to have spared myself from a lot of pain...

Posted by CrabbyCorn
By channeling my cappy coolness consciously I seem to have spared myself from a lot of pain...

It comes in handy; although we are accused of being cold because it appears as unemotional and we move on too fast.

Also! If you guys have ever done the same (just moved on), how did your ex take it? My libra ex found my actions immensely upsetting, eventhough this person was the one who left me (and was emotionally abusive in our relationship).

I've moved on. Didn't look back. Didn't really care how they took it. There was a reason we broke up and when it's done, it's done.

That ^^^ may sound cold, but it is the truth.

Don't get me wrong. I've had clean, nice break ups. There are exes where it was an amicable break up and we didn't have any hard feelings. I wasn't talking about those.

There were a couple of exes that I broke up with and tried to explain why I was breaking up with them. They just didn't listen. They wouldn't hear what I was saying at all. Kept arguing about why we should be together. I tried to explain. I finally just had to walk away cold and do the ignore thing.
I'm sure they didn't get closure, but I did try.

Posted by truecap

Posted by HappyCapper
Maybe it's just me not being an english speaking native, but

"Personally, I don't get the concept of "closure". It's over, it's done. time to move on."

If you feel like this you got closure. Done done done. But as said, maybe I just don't get the concept.

It's usually the other person that wants closure, wherein I get closure from "it's over".

click to expand

I'm not experianced in being broken up with, so it's difficult to say how I would react, but if the person I have broken up with have wanted a long talk or whatever to give them closure, I have done that...extensively, in some cases. I still care about them, so as long as it has not gone beyond my boundaries, I have given it to them.

I Dont believe in closure. There's no such thing as real closure. If you have to explain to someone why it won't work or I'm general why, it means their not going to be able grasp thst its goodbye for good.

And honestly there are some people who dont even deserve the courtesy of closure.

I've gotten the last word in, which I think is different from closure because its a little mean. But real closure where two parties could be amicable after, Nah.