Caps, what would you do?

Okay, I'm a little ticked right now. One of the parents in my kid's youth group at church has an issue with something that happened with the boys private class in youth. They have separate classes in a "safe zone" and signed statements that they wouldn't share what they talk privately about. She's all in an uproar over this and doesn't like they have agreed to keep shared conversations private. She's making assumptions and guessing and doesn't have all the facts. She has been calling all the parents trying to get them fired up and on her bandwagon. My son had given me a head's up that this was happening.

Well, last night, she gets around to calling me, talks to me. I try to offer her my impression of the situation and tell her they talk about issues facing teenage boys and finding biblical answers to things they have to deal with in todays world. Hard for teens to be Christians today and stand up for their beliefs. They have a place to vent, share, compare experiences and I personally don't have a problem with them doing that privately.

So she tells me she has called all the other parents and now they are concerned (probably because of her). I step into Capricorn mode and tell her that guessing and assumptions aren't getting anyone anywhere and us moms should be direct and meet with the youth minister and ask our questions and see what the goals and intentions of the group are. She says good idea.

So I call him today, give him the heads up and schedule a meeting. I text her and she says "Great! Thank you."

Now, two hours later she texts everyone and says she's not going to go to a meeting, she's just going to write him a letter because she feels too strongly about it.

WTF?!!!!

I texted her "really?". She said yes, she doesn't want it to be uncomfortable (like stirring up every parent doesn't) that she feels that strongly. I text her back "then you need to talk with him and give him an opportunity to answer your questions. How is a letter going to do that?"
Then I say "nevermind, let me know if I need to cancel the meeting."

WFT!!!?

I freaking HATE drama queens. Chicken sh*ts. And wishy washy people.

Geesh!!! Don't call me and get me involved, because I'm going to solve your problem. I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to fix the conflict or I'm going to call you out on your sh*t when you back out.

I'm done with her. Will never take her seriously again. Ever.

Oh, this class of boys are ages 16-18. That might make a difference.

So now I get a text from her saying she apologizes for the change of heart. She doesn't want to make anyone comfortable with what she has to say.

I responded "You got me involved. I'm direct and I'm a problem solver. I am trying to solve the problem. I feel like you started this, got me involved, I made an effort on your behalf and now you're backing out. I think being straight forward is the best thing to do. Once you hear what he has to say you might not feel the same and might not need to say what you think you're going to say. Just my opinion."

I wonder if I could have handled it better.

Yep Caliber, lesson learned.

I orignially had told her to schedule the meeting and I would go. Then I thought about the youth minister's side. I've known him a long time since he was my older daughter's minister and thought he would appreciate it coming from me who he knows instead of some moms he doesn't know as well, which he did appreciate.

You're exactly right, I think she just wanted to stir the pot, then when she got confronted with her drama, and was going to have to own up to it, she did some pretty fast back paddling.

I wonder what her sign is. I haven't the faintest clue. I could make a few guesses, but I don't know her well enough.

Yeah, we're keeping the meeting as scheduled.

Thanks for your insight Caliber. I'm thinking the way you are. It helped.

Thanks!

She wanted to start drama and gossip....sounds like to me.

You went into action mode, called her on her shit, and now she's backpedalling as fast as she can.

This has happened to me at work a few times.

Everyone is outraged about (insert issue here), I take up the cause, step forward into action mode, and I'm facing the bosses alone.

All the other pansies, quivering in their offices, denying they had objections, with the "Heavens, no. This is news to me." look on their faces.

Chicken shits!!!

P.S. - I think that the (private) group sounds awesome. I was a young man at one time, and have a son approaching that age. I wish I had a support group like that, and hope that my boys can find one in due time.

Is it a capricorn weakness to go into action mode? Do you think it is a way people try manipulate us?

At work though, it shows leadership and I'm sure you can turn that into your favor. 😉


Yes, my son loves this group. He seems happier and more relaxed, more comfortable in his skin. I always feel like if the kids can't come to me or their dad, then they have a solid adult to go to and I think that is a wonderful thing. They also realize they're all dealing with the same problems and they're not alone.

Posted by eight67530nine
Ebola doesn't discriminate.

Neither does herpes.


😛

One of my favorite shows was Girlfriend, and its rumored they wanted a pay increase, so they all rallied together behind the scenes, but it was the Capricorn who went forward and when she did, her cast who originally had the issues, stepped back and pretended they didn't know what she was talking about. The Cap left the show after that.

Heck yeah, people try to manipulate or use us at times because they feel we will confront their problems for them. Really, more aggressive signs are usually used this way.

Anyway, not sure what this womans problem was. I guess since it wasn't as easy to manipulate you to feel similarly to how she felt AND you arranged the meeting, that she didn't have as much control. Idk.

Yeah, I lose respect for those people after that. Say what you mean and mean what you say, dang it!!! If I go to bat for you and you don't stand there with me and let me down, then I don't want anything else to do with you.