Do ALL Cappy Men Fear Intimacy?

I'm sure I'll hear more from the women than from men on this one but do all Caps fear intimacy?

And can a Cap please define intimacy and what IT means to them? And why you would fear it?

Any insight from anyone would be appreaciated. Even those married to Caps either presently or past!

Hi.. I'm a Cappy femme, and I don't know about anyone else, I can only speak from experience here...
Having been involved in very few relationships (I can count on one hand..lol), I can say for me personally, intimacy is quite a difficult thing for me to even achieve in a relationship. First, I do take my time in knowing someone, and once trust, honesty and loyalty are developed, then, and only then, will I choose to be intimate with someone.
Last guy I knew wanted a casual intimate affair (heck no! that's an oxymoron in a Cappy's dictionary!). Relationships are serious business for a Cap, so intimacy has to be something special between me and that certain someone who I'll wait for (no rush here). We don't like making costly mistakes, certainly not on an emotional level. We may seem cold, but our feelings run deep; so yes, we hurt easily.
I like closeness, communication, sharing things in confidence between me and my partner-that's the ideal. The reason we fear intimacy is the ultimate fear: being -abandoned, -cheated upon,
-used/abused, etc.
So, give us a reason to trust you wholeheartedly, and we'll be soft and cuddly..forever and ever-Amen!

From my point of view, as a cappie woman, I see cappy men as Not only fearing intimacy, but being rather shallow. They don't know why they seek a relationship with a woman. They don't seem to be all that sexually hot, or even ready for a commitment. LOL. I guess they think that it is not fair to woo any woman, when they are not rich enough ( lol ), or well established YET . One cappie ex was doing fine until it came to me pressuring him for commitment. I am talking about a well established mature cappy, because he was acting like this was the very thing he wanted. He backed up. I guess cappies are a bit less mature emotionally and physically than other signs. They can express themseves sexually, though, if pressured by a more sexually aggressive partner. However, once they feel 'lonely' and at the privacy of their own 'sanctuary', they regret what they had missed. But, once out they go back to their old ways.

Sure they do and maybe not ALL of them but the ones that I have encountered sure do. This is too bad because they sure are missing out on some wonderful feelings whether friendship or lovers.


Again,,......I don't understand where they are coming from. What are they afraid of? I asked a friend to meet me for lunch...right off the bat, he was too busy. This is the usual answer. Why do they wait and let opportunities in life pass them by? This was not a case of him not wanting to have lunch because he calls me all the time. This bothered me for awhile and then I let it all go with the wind outside. Too much conflict, turmoil for me. I am removing myself from the situation and moving on to where there are those who want to grab life and live it. I suppose I am realizing how important life is to me and those who will be sharing the stage with me...if it doesn't work, I will move them into the next scene or off the stage and start over. Okay, I am just expressing my feelings...I feel better now.

I think it would be so wonderful if the living dead could wake up and feel life.

This comment is NOT directed specifically at Cappies, just humans in general.

Good day.

The cap men I've known can get into a casual sexual relationship very easily with any woman and walk away just as easily without explanation then call to remain friends in case they find themselves without a bed partner.
Feelings for others seem to remain shallow yet they can themselves be gullible and get easily hurt by others.
They do also like too much time alone
and can hibernate forever.Always too
busy with work or whatever.Puzzling to me whenlife and opportunities are passing them by.

Yeah, I think I know this person! My feelings are that he hasn't found the right partner yet. When he does, hopefully his personal life will be more meaningful and deep!!

I think I know him too...if we are talking about a male. They seem to all be the same. What's up with that? Have they all come from the same mold?

Change needs to happen here....what can we do to help these guys?

You are correct, if and when they find the "right" relationship, they won't know what hit them. I wonder if they feel they deserve happiness and love— Any thoughts about that one?

24,

I don't know if they feel they deserve it or not, but it is 'there' problem!!!
I think they get into a habit or a routine, and it suits their immediate needs, sexually. Deep down inside, they know they are missing out on something more, and that is the true love! I think it is a fear of losing themselves and their identity(independence) if they allow someone to get too close, (control stuff). That is why the 'right' relationship is the only one that will work for this 'type'. They need someone who is independent and can keep themselves occupied, but still be there to give them all the attention they need!

I want to retract the first part of the last post, pleas. The part about it being 'there' problem(not feeling they deserve love.) I would say that whomever is in love with these wonderful people, they need to take the necessary time to build TRUST and RESPECT with them! They are dynamite men, and you just need to spend alot more time on them, but they are defintely worth the effort!. They won't let you down!

I do think cap men need to find the right person hopefully they won't wait
too long to commit when they do meet that person. Some of the hesitation might be a combination of things including building trust, fear of losing control of themselves by loving someone and I guess really not believing they deserve love in their lives. Agree with all of you on those topics. Is this something that happened in childhood or just related to being a Cap? Any ideas or thoughts?

Oh, I see what you are saying 152!, I'm pretty sure. Well, I don't know why they think like that? Why do you not deserve anything and not just love? You don't think you are good enough? Why? If someone wants to love you and you love them, it isn't going to happen until you let them show you. If you lose your self in love, how could someone not appreciate that?? I would!! I would never, ever put a man down for showing his true feelings. They are rare for one thing and it is not something to play with!!! I would love them even more, if that was possible!