Help! I just stuck my foot in my mouth!!

Ok so me and my cap guy have been talking for 2 months been intimate once. Well I asked him if he was sleeping with anyone else now that we crossed that line of intimacy, he got offended and answered back "not with anyone else dam thanks though". Now I feel horrible for asking and I feel like I just forced his wall to go back up again. But I felt like if we are intimate then we should be honest if we are sleeping with other people.

Can someone tell me how I can make it better....

My personal opinion, you should never feel horrible for inquiring such information.

There could be two reason's why he's putting his wall back up..

ONE:: He's disappointed that you questioned his integrity, and he's being closed up because you've made his mind start to race about whether or not you're sexing it up with anyone else.

TWO:: If he's causing you to feel bad about asking a simple question, he could be doing it. Sometimes when someone is questioned upon being unfaithful, [when they actually are being scandalous] they tend to put the inquirer on a guilt trip to confuse/fuck with their head.

If you feel like he's being stand offish because of the first scenario, I would kind of baby him with reassurance that you don't want anyone else, and that you've only been with him. Ask him why that question caused him to be closed up.

It's nothing to feel bad about though girrrl. Everyone wants to know where they stand with another in a fresh relationship. Communication is essential.

As a guy, I would have to argue that as you guys are still quite new to one another, your question was a "fair" one. You need to have some idea of where you stand, and what is actually going on. If he can't handle that, then you need to consider what his goals actually are.

Hes just upset you don't trust him. But he will respects your caution. Don't think about it. Tell him the truth! Tell him you do not want to be hurt...

Thanks guys! I appreciate it!

Thanks guys! I appreciate it!

Agreed.

Always follow up with a sweet sounding, "well, honey, I wouldn't know if I didn't ask. I feel so much better now. I'm glad we talked about it."

You can also always play overboard with a sweet, innocent, sing song voice with over the top batting of the eyes and with a big laugh. Make light of it since he didn't. Takes the tension out of the room.

Well when I tried to discuss it and be overly sweet, he just said he didn't want to discuss it and dropped the subject. I've noticed he doesn't like discussing anything....

@caliberquick

That was my thought too, what is he hiding. Maybe it was my time of asking, we were having a little fun sexting each other when I asked. The question popped into my mind and got me wondering, I felt since we were on the topic of sex why not ask. Honestly is he worth my time of investment I would hope so but I honestly don't know. Like I mentioned in my past threads when we first started talking he was great so communicative with me then BAM he did a 180, now it's hard for me to figure him out.

Maybe you should stick your foot up his arse!!! LOL

@ caliberquick

Yeah I am starting to think he is more of an option....

I was in a car accident and had to have surgery yesterday....He didn't even ask me about the accident when it happened all I got was "are you ok?" Um no I was in the hospital, then when I text him yesterday telling him that I was going in to have surgery he comes back with "I don't know why your having surgery but I'll say a prayer for you. Let me know when they are done." He called me after he got off work and before he went to bed to see how I was feeling. Wow that is more interaction then I have had for a few days. Talk briefly with him this morning but haven't heard from his since, I guess reality just hit and he isn't that interested as I had hoped I don't know what else to think. I can't tell if he is interested or not. If I could see interest then patience would not be that hard. Ugh, sorry didn't mean to vent out here, just really confused and frustrated!

I'm sorry, but I agree with Metoo.

I can't believe he didn't ask about your injuries or any details about the accident. What an ass! He sees you as a FWB and that's it. I wouldn't even respond to him anymore.

Hold out next time and don't let them have the goodies until you are sure its not just about the sex. That way you can make sure they'll be around when you really need them.

Oh, hope your recovery goes well and speedy!

@Metoo..

We have only had sex once and it was spur of the moment during the date. But I understand what you are saying and I totally agree with that. Thanks for the honesty, I do appreciate it.

Posted by Metoo
Well, basically if he isnt your committed boyfriend, you are someone he is sleeping with.
He is physically invested, not emotionally.
He may be thinking, she is having surgery and wont be able to have sex for awhile.
Its an awkward spot in the relationship.
I mean, you cant use sex to form a deeper bond, you need time, dates, communication, getting to see the other in just daily situations and start to learn them.
It is a good sign he did call a few times, but again, things just arent deep between the two of you, they are surface and centered on a sexual relationship, not a good solid bond, mutual understanding and sincere feeling.
Sex first before knowing someone deeper cuts out or short cuts alot of the courting and getting to know eachother on a more genuine level. This is where you are, he is a sexual partner, thats pretty much it so what your getting from him at this point is pretty much the most you can expect.
I am truly sorry about your accident an wish you a quick recovery from your surgery.

+1000

I remain fascinated as to how many women get involved with Caps and seem to desire an instant relationship with them after only a few months given how slow to process and commit these particular men are. I truly believe their ability to convey emotional distance is the turn-on/test that pushes women to want to "conquer" these guys even more because they can be so non-reactionary to a woman's wiles which is like a silent dare to win them over.

Posted by Pidelight

Posted by Metoo
Well, basically if he isnt your committed boyfriend, you are someone he is sleeping with.
He is physically invested, not emotionally.
He may be thinking, she is having surgery and wont be able to have sex for awhile.
Its an awkward spot in the relationship.
I mean, you cant use sex to form a deeper bond, you need time, dates, communication, getting to see the other in just daily situations and start to learn them.
It is a good sign he did call a few times, but again, things just arent deep between the two of you, they are surface and centered on a sexual relationship, not a good solid bond, mutual understanding and sincere feeling.
Sex first before knowing someone deeper cuts out or short cuts alot of the courting and getting to know eachother on a more genuine level. This is where you are, he is a sexual partner, thats pretty much it so what your getting from him at this point is pretty much the most you can expect.
I am truly sorry about your accident an wish you a quick recovery from your surgery.

+1000

I remain fascinated as to how many women get involved with Caps and seem to desire an instant relationship with them after only a few months given how slow to process and commit these particular men are. I truly believe their ability to convey emotional distance is the turn-on/test that pushes women to want to "conquer" these guys even more because they can be so non-reactionary to a woman's wiles which is like a silent dare to win them over.

click to expand

Let's not kid ourselves with these Cap men being so slow and straightforward, some of them play women. They come off all amazing at first to hook you and then once you are hooked, they need to think about it and that process is slow in many cases if they have other options to investigate.

Let's not kid ourselves with these Cap men being so slow and straightforward, some of them play women. They come off all amazing at first to hook you and then once you are hooked, they need to think about it and that process is slow in many cases if they have other options to investigate.

Any man of any sign can play a woman. But then some women like and/or need the drama of being played whether they admit to it or not. It falls into that romantic tragedy syndrome far too many of us set ourselves up for and then we get upset with the guy when he doesn't respond the way we need him to to keep the drama afloat. If some women would stop pinning instant expection on a man (especially after great sex) and just sit back and let things progress naturally without over analysizing everything the man says and does there might be less people on DXP. And if you are going to have sex right up front do it because it is what you want and feel is right for you versus it being some sort of unspoken claim to the next step with a man you barely know. If you know you can't give up your cookie without getting emotinally involved...then don't. If you can then get yours, stay focused on your life and goals and then you won't put unnecessary expectation where it does not belong and you can truly enjoy whatever is developing with you and your Cap, Scorp, Taur, Leo, Pisces, etc.

Some responsive I won't even comment on, but thank you for all your honesty. I know it's been only 2 months and from what I had mentioned in some of my other threads (maybe you need to read before commenting) he was great and very communicative but then did a 180. My feelings aren't involved, thank god, if they were I would be a complete mess. Im just confused is all, trying to figure things out (again I'm a virgo). To me if someone I was getting to know was in a car accident I would be concerned for them as a person not because of emotions. LOL, if someone did a parade because I was in a accident I would think they were sick and twisted....

@caplove..

Thank you for imput, I do appreciate it. Yeah he asked nothing all he knew was I was in an accident. I left it alone again, if he doesn't ask I am not telling. So monday when I had my surgery my sister was group texting my friends to let them know and she included him as well. He asked to have me call him when I could, when I did he was in shock that I need surgery. He was telling to get some sleep, need to rest, he will call me later...since then he has been calling me pericodically. And to my surprise he called me last night, to say good night. He hasn't done that in a very very long time. Not going to read to much into it anymore. At this point I am just going to pull back for a moment.

How do I out slow him?

@Caplove

Again thank you for all your advice, it has been extremely helpful! In all honesty I am just confused...I don't understand how one minute your showing interest and the next your not. I really just want to walk away and say forget it, it is not worth my time but then I think I like him and I know we could be happy. There really isn't any emotions involved so walking away is going to be easy. I just got use to having him around...