HELP ME with my Caps!

Hello guys... I'm new here and i really needs help from all Capricorns.

I know there're so many thread about the missing Caps, but i really want to know the answers (at least assumptions) regarding my story.

I'm a Libra woman 27 years old and i love Capricorn man 28 years.

I made first moves and i showed him how i love him and how happy he can be with me for 2 months.

But now he disappeared. He said "give me time to think" for 2 times before this (its the 3rd one now). But 2 times before this, he never pulls back. He keeps texting, calling, meeting me and we had a great progress (we act like couples who already date for long time)



Background:

Me (Libra) and him (Capricorn) are used to be comrades who don't talk too often. I quit the job and we never see each other again for almost 6 years.

We reunited this year (October 2016) for 1 special occasion, and that's where we started. This special occasion took place on an island so that means we saw each other for 3 days.

One night, we had long conversation (we never had it before) and turns out that we did a confession. He said that he used to like me back then but he never approach me because he thought that he's not my type, and VICE VERSA! i told him that i liked him back then but i never do anything because i thought the same.

So, we agreed to focus knowing each other since then...



His Problem (Capricorn):

He never succeed with his exs because his exs always cheated on him.

He said that just before he met me (again), he made a commitment to himself that he doesn't want to have a relationship anymore. He wants to stay single, YOLO, and travelling around the world. He said he is happy with that life and his heart already died.



1st Stage:

1. We came back from the occasion and he asked me for a date

2. On 1st date he shared his life's goals, financial status, family and etc.. BUT at this time, he also said that HIS HEART ALREADY DIED and he doesn't know if his heart can feel love again

3. But we keep moving forward, he didn't disappeared.. in other hands things are getting better

4. I introduced him to my friends and they connect each others

5. One day he said "Give me more time to make my hear works again. Its not that i don't like you and i don't want to make us official. Just i don't want to be in a relationship with a half heart. I want to love you when i know that my heart is still working"

6. I said "if you still not sure with your heart and you think that your heart can't love again, so let's end this.."

7. He doesn't want to call it an end and he said he still wanna try



2nd Stage:

1. Things are getting better from the 1st stage

2. Getting closer to my friends

3. Physical attractions are the best on this stage. He kissed me on the street, he never let go of my hands in public, he hug me in front of my friends!

4. He said he loves me and care for me

5. We spent holidays together and its AWESOME!

6. We talked about future (marriage, kids, house, religions, pets)

7. He's being jealous and protective; One day he spotted someone looking at me on the street and he said "Why are you looking MY GIRL like that?" (he calls me "his girl", oh and he did this 2 times)

8. He said he wants to meet my family

9. Then one day he repeat points 6-7 on the first stage! EXACTLY THE SAME



3rd Stage:

1. This is the stage when he really disappeared

Before he disappeared, he said that he really need to think carefully about our status, and he said he has so many works to do and he stressed out.

2. He said he needs more time to think, and like before, i offer him an end to our relationship, but AGAIN he said "we still have chance to be together, so i don't want to call it an end, but you need to prepare for the worst."

3. I drop him messages but he didn't reply, i called him but he didn't answer. Until one day, he replied my text (i sent him 2 days ago) without guilty and just explained that he's sick.

I DIDN'T REPLY the text until now



So guys.. please help me.. what's wrong with this guy?

I searched on internet and read almost all Caps problems, they keep saying that i need to be patience to deal with Caps. Because he will eventually come back to me and give him space.

It sounds like maybe he's depressed. Maybe he does need more time to recover. Its taxing to want something that you think might be bad for you or to have feelings that are overwhelming.

good luck

Yeah just go with the flow it will be you hurt if it doesn't pan out how you want it to.

Let time and effort show for itself. Only time will tell you'll both young still.

They like a best friend first too. But that takes not rushing into things. If he's the man let him lead. If you are the man tread carefully because he's not ready even though he acts and thinks a certain way that may confuse you. Like having a blast but still not ready.

Posted by Diddybop
It sounds like maybe he's depressed. Maybe he does need more time to recover. Its taxing to want something that you think might be bad for you or to have feelings that are overwhelming.

good luck

Yes i think he needs time, but it makes me depressed how long should i wait 😢

Set a time line for you and the proceed with caution.

Posted by Capri-sun
He's being verbally honest with you so listen to him and stop pressing him about a relationship. If and when he decides he wants one, he'll let you know. In the mean time it's up to you whether to stay or go. I'm not understanding how you break up if you're not in a relationship.

What do you want? Either ride the wave or get out of the water. He's giving you time, attention, affection, and you're hung up on having a title.

Again what do you want?

If you know you want a relationship and that's not what he's offering, let him go.

If you're ok playing the waiting game, then wait. He's been upfront and honest with you from day 1 so I'm not sure why you're acting like you didn't know what you were getting yourself into.

I want relationship with him and i'll proof that i'm the best for him. I'll give him the love he never received before.

Honestly he confuses me... i know he's being honest with his action. Our texting were not too romantic, he said that he still don't know about making it official, but when we met.... he's actions are completely different. I can feel he really care about me and see me as his GF, but again his action and his words are different.

He said that he is a man of his words... so maybe i'll keep waiting with faith that he'll comeback to me one day and make this clear..

Thank you for your advice

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah just go with the flow it will be you hurt if it doesn't pan out how you want it to.

Let time and effort show for itself. Only time will tell you'll both young still.

They like a best friend first too. But that takes not rushing into things. If he's the man let him lead. If you are the man tread carefully because he's not ready even though he acts and thinks a certain way that may confuse you. Like having a blast but still not ready.

Thank you, and i'll wait for his answer

How can you give love like no other? Without coming off clingy? Could you allow time spent together to figure out the red flags? The pros and cons if you want to settle with a guy who isn't ready.

You could have fun but it would be just that. And to avoid being strung along people say something like not ready alot, and we tend to not listen, we hear it thinking okay I'll show him through space and time, and patience just as friends meanwhile I want to see, hear your thoughts and actions. Sit back ask questions about life goals and interests if possible.

You're welcome. If the words and actions are different, I'd say go with the actions. That's where the truth is more than words. Sometimes my friendliness is taken as interest. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Listen to your intuition.

I only said listen to his words because I say that myself, I don't like being rushed. However I only say that when there is something I doubt about the person and/or relationship.

Good luck and best wishes.





I'm pretty sure that his actions are the generous one, and its more than friendliness 🙂

Ah btw.. his birthday is coming up, is it okay to give him birthday present even though maybe he still not contacting me until the day comes?

From the info you've given I would say fear is driving his actions right now. I think he may be afraid you are going to break his heart (maybe like previous girlfriends) or cheat on him (even if you probably think you have not given him reason to think this).

I agree with the previous poster that to snatch a cap you need to show them actions, not words (something most libras are not so good at, sorry) so DEFINITELY go all out for his birthday (invite him out, nice present, something tangible, practical) and try to find out what is really going on and reassure him your affection is still as strong as ever.

If this doesn't work (his birthday), give him some more space and wait for him to come to you.

I really hope it works out for you two. He sounds like he's been hurt badly many times before and needs a nice outcome to restore his faith.

Good luck!

Posted by RicherCap

Posted by madamelibra
he made a commitment to himself that he doesn't want to have a relationship anymore. He wants to stay single, YOLO, and travelling around the world.

Well, what's not clear about that?

click to expand

It's a defence mechanism. He may not want to commit to anything serious right now, but down the track he will... How old is he?

Posted by AnnabelleJames

Posted by RicherCap

Posted by madamelibra
he made a commitment to himself that he doesn't want to have a relationship anymore. He wants to stay single, YOLO, and travelling around the world.

Well, what's not clear about that?

It's a defence mechanism. He may not want to commit to anything serious right now, but down the track he will... How old is he?

click to expand

He's 27

[UPDATE HELP ME WITH MY CAPS]

Turns put he avoids all my messages...

I bought him a quite expensive bday present and i want to give it right away and say goodbye...

ALSO

I texted him today, i said

"I respect every decision u made. But this time, if u do have time, lets meet. I need u to respect me as well, not because of our relationship, but as a person who wants to talk to you and I need u to know that."

And he didn't reply....

I think he's not a gentleman, he just dissapeared...

Posted by AnnabelleJames
From the info you've given I would say fear is driving his actions right now. I think he may be afraid you are going to break his heart (maybe like previous girlfriends) or cheat on him (even if you probably think you have not given him reason to think this).

I agree with the previous poster that to snatch a cap you need to show them actions, not words (something most libras are not so good at, sorry) so DEFINITELY go all out for his birthday (invite him out, nice present, something tangible, practical) and try to find out what is really going on and reassure him your affection is still as strong as ever.

If this doesn't work (his birthday), give him some more space and wait for him to come to you.

I really hope it works out for you two. He sounds like he's been hurt badly many times before and needs a nice outcome to restore his faith.

Good luck!

He didn't reply me text... so maybe i this is what he want

Posted by madamelibra
[UPDATE HELP ME WITH MY CAPS]

Turns put he avoids all my messages...

I bought him a quite expensive bday present and i want to give it right away and say goodbye...

ALSO

I texted him today, i said

"I respect every decision u made. But this time, if u do have time, lets meet. I need u to respect me as well, not because of our relationship, but as a person who wants to talk to you and I need u to know that."

And he didn't reply....

I think he's not a gentleman, he just dissapeared...

He's maybe needs some time to process and digest what you have said, give it a few days and reach out with a light hearted soft msg such as Happy Holidays - how are you doing?

Feel like going to watch a movie?

I wana go to such and such are you free?

Sorry madamelibra, I would just let him be. You've put in a lot of effort so if he doesn't reciprocate, time to cut him loose.

You deserve better.