Here's a Cappy Question For Anyone....

We all know that cappies "hide" their feelings right? Do they ALSO hide their feelings in the same way once they're married— Or do they let go of that insecurity and become more open once permanently committed to a mate?

I sure would like to know that answer myself! Get this, I have a friend MALE cappy who I have known for years...we were kinda seeing each other and then I said that I could not be with him as I needed to move on and find someone who is open to relationships, someone to grow with, experience all of life's pleasures with. The kicker here is he is in another relationship and I will NOT ever be second. We stayed friends, so I thought. He quit calling me 😢 Oh well, such is life. And tonight, I got online with IM and he came on....he never said anything to me and then got off. Now, what kind of friend is that——? I read one time that circumstances do NOT make a man, they REVEAL him. Hmmmm....I'm not sure that I could ever marry someone who is so insecure that he cannot even say hi! I wonder if he would ever feel bad if he never saw me again. Just wondering. Oh these Cappies, they are enough to drive one crazy, they are "crazy makers" nah, don't need it in my life. Okay, I feel better now. Thanks for reading.

Hope all is well with everybody else!

Well, I'm a Capricorn femme and married a Taurean (now separated), but I'll say this.. I was the communicator in all ten years of marriage.. I got to trust him and opened up completely. It was after the separation that I clammed up again and started building high towers of protection.. I'm still there.LOL. I suppose it's dependent on where one's Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars and all that is located at one's time of birth.... What do I know?LOL.

I love this question; I wonder the same myself!

Hey 24.74.41.73:
Sister, you could BE me! I kid you not, even with the whole IM thing, I swear to you sometimes he just chickens out or something...what am I gonna say to him that he's so afraid of?? I'm always nothing but nice to him; if anything I probably boost his ego a little TOO much (though he loves it), but what's a girl to do, right? Jeez. Crazy-makers these Caps can be, for sure. Hang in there, these guys will (hopefully) grow up a little soon. : )

phoenix_rising

P.S. I'd write so much more, but it's like 1:15 a.m. and I'm sleepy! lol

Hello to everyone...!
I usually don't check the cappy message board, but since I am married to a cappy man for the past 16 yrs., I thought to add a bit of insight if it is helpful to anyone--I hope? I am an aries woman and I can honestly say that-marriage has not made much of a diff. in being more open with feelings nor emotions. He is much too often keeping to himself regarding imp. issues. He thinks discussing matters of imp. is a way of argueing..he does not like to discuss things much at all and therefore makes me feel so alone-lonely and distrusting of him. I have caught him in many lies and I have always been forgiving--thinking perhaps things will get better. And yes--if you are wondering why I stayed married to him all these yrs.? I'm not sure, but I think I just gave up on the idea of moving on to find someone else. This is also because I had been married before to an aries man--which was purely a bad choice...and I suffered many yrs. of abuse only due to the fact I had a daughter with him. I ended it with him after she was old enough to understand the circumstances somewhat. Even though I am much older and wiser now--I guess it is hard to imagine starting over a third time....but also I do not want to live the rest of my life feeling lonely with this cap man for the rest of the best yrs of my life now. The sex is ok--but there is nothing more--no hugs-closeness-and passion..and kisses are just on the cheek goodbye type. So I hope to find the courage to find someone who can make me feel loved and alive--not just existing!! My cappy man is a good worker and provider....and buys me many nice things--but inanimate objects do not make me feel loved...only occupies the time for awhile..need someone to share things with--not live a separate life, so to speak! If you want to know anything else, I'll be happy to try and answer, if I can...

Hope this helped ...!!

Your arian friend always.. 🙂

Hi there Arian Friend married to a Cappy! Your post was very informative. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have a male cappy friend who is married. I think she is an Aquarius. I get the feeling that their marriage is not healthy. He seems so sad all the time. When I first met him many years ago, he had such a great sense of humor...I don't see that much anymore. He once said to me when I told him that my husband and I were seperating, "but why? you have a nice house and a nice car?" I looked at him and said, "WHAT? those things don't mean anything if the love is not there. I will go buy my own car!" This is how the cappy expresses his way of showing love. It is by buying nice things, "doing" for the woman he loves. I too am an Aries. The best thing that I have ever done was get out of my marriage. He is a Gemini. Everything that I went through was a gift to me as I discoverd that I have so much inside of me. The most important thing was that I have my emotional freedom. I will not trade it for anything! Aries friend, please do not worry about tomorrow. Have faith in yourself and what is to come. Love will find you infact, it already has. YOU! You will survive and you are responsible for creating your life, your book of your life, your movie of your life....you will create this life for yourself by your thoughts. Life only wants for you what you desire. Use that courage you have, take some risks and I am NOT saying that you need to leave your husband. What brought you two together? Follow YOUR heart, lead your life with YOUR heart.

Best wishes for whatever you choose 🙂

Aries Friend

Thanks so much, dear aries friend for your kind and sympathetic words of encouragement....I really appreciate it so much!! As far as why or how I came to have my cappy in my life, was for the wrong reasons...physical attraction..and now regretfully too late having realised this...which I admit was my own fault. It was at a time when vulnerable after leaving the other marriage. It seems as if then.....and even now, when I think someone will love me back the same (and not just for sex)..by following my heart...it just never works out and I usually wind up the one being hurt. I am a very emotional kind of woman, and take things deeply to heart when rejected. I do envy you and having your emotional freedom....and perhaps someday it will come to me also...

thanks so much again... your a very kind and caring person!!! 🙂

good luck and best wishes to you also!

An aries friend forever... !!

Hello, here's a Cap speaking....Maybe it will clarify some things, who knows...I'm a Cap woman married to a Leo, we've been together for 15 years now. A good marriage but things have changed the last year, I've become much more emotional. People who say that Caps are not emotional are completely wrong! They're only used to hiding it very well, it's a defense mechanism against an outside world who often misunderstands them! They're emotionally very insecure, so I can understand all the stories. I myself close myself off as well, just because I'm scared to show my insecure emotions, even to my husband. I've experienced a lot of negativity in my youth and that makes it hard to cope with negative or argumentative situations. We Caps always think it's our fault if someone doesn't like us....
Nowadays I've learned to become emotionally stronger by loving myself more, it makes it easier for me to show my vulnerable side as well. I don't think I've cried so much as in the past year! For me it's a breakthrough because I used to be locked up in myself. Now I enjoy every emotion, good or bad....It seems that most Caps either stay locked up in themselves (as your husbands) or finally free themselves and become happy with themselves.
But here's the trick: now I don't fit to my husband anymore because I've become TOO emotional and too little "Earthy". Right now I need a sensitive man who understands all my emotional needs and that's not my husband....He's still the usual Leo, down-to-Earth and I'm not anymore! So I don't know what to do anymore....Strange isn't it, an emotional Cap? They do exist you knw, because Caps can love very deeply....
And from what I've heard is the combination Cap-Aries a pretty bad one so I'm not surprised that things didn't work out..sorry if I offend anyone with this....That's it for now, your opinions on this??

Hello cappy friend married to a leo..I did not mean to offend anyone and hope I have not hurt your feelings at all..after all us women in general are usually more sensitive than the male species... 🙂 Anyway, I don't know how you can solve your prob. with now showing more emotions. I myself, as an aries have been super sensitive these past few yrs.--so I know how you must feel...especially when there is no one to lend a comforting hug or kiss...I haven't had this in at least 10 or more of the 16 yrs of my marriage to a cappy. He wasn't always like this at the start....but he also drinks alot--and that too creates many other bad situations..!! I hate to hurt his feelings by telling him I feel no more real love anymore....but eventually I shall have to in order to perhaps leave this situation once and for all. People think you can just walk out of a marriage....but alot has to be considered....before doing so...!!
So, I wish you luck with your leo...hope it turns out ok for you..!!!
And please don't feel bad about being a cappy...I think they are great--but as far as each persons life--it is so diff. For some it may be great--and for some not.....this is life..and each of us are unique individuals....true?

take care Mrs Leo...

Your aries friend...!!!

No you haven't offended me, we're all individuals, just like you said! And I think there really IS a difference between a female and a male Cap - men aren't used to show their feelings and that doesn't change quickly....And there's more: I've got a male Pisces penpal who I love dearly, but still I have to live here with my Leo. So I'm trying to balance my feelings between the both of them, and that's certainly NOT easy. But it's well worth it because they both give me what I need: one gives stability, the other one gives me the feeling of being in love. But how much longer can this go on, I wonder...I'm stuck in the middle for sure! We'll see what the future brings....Oh and I do hug my husband, so not all Caps are as distant as your husband, Aries friend...

The (love of my life) was a cappy man who I just found so incredibly stubborn, so stubborn that when he got an "idea" in his mind. No matter what I said ...he was right and it became a mute point. At the same time he had when he had "gained my trust" he was very open, and he held the most integrity I have ever seen in any person I have ever met. He never lied he was very altuistic. Just my experience.

Yep, Caps are very honest and have a great sense of justice! For some people it's a bit too much unfortunately, it gives some people the creeps....;-(

Maria

Hi I am a lady cap and was married for 13 years (this ended last year). During my marriage I was told all the time by my partner that I wasnt very open or I never expressed how I felt enough and looking back this was true but I do believe it was because I was never truely happy. (Sorry I know it sounds bitchy but it is true). I married extremely young and took on the responsibility of this marriage and children fully. At times I sacificed myself to make them happy and found it very hard to finally stand up and say this is not for me. I am now in my 30s and I dont know if its my age or what but I am now standing up for me. I met someone after my split and found that I could talk, express and WANTED to express my deepest emotions. In a matter of 2-3 weeks I knew I loved this person and had told them things I never told anyone before - strange I know - but point is we are emotional people afraid of being hurt, we build up walls to keep others out and then when things arent good due to committment, loyalty etc we find it hard to walk away even when its for the best. Believe me caps can be open and expressive but they need to be with someone who can help them express their emotional side thats buried way down deep.

Some capricorn men are 'stuck' in the mud, and would never change the 'status quo' no matter how bad it is
They get around it though, by being 'sneaky' and biting more than they can chew, with an extramarital affair.
Yes they must be unhappy in their own marriage, but they dread having to call it quits. They are honest about it, but try to catch them with their spouse, and see how well, how, unappealing they look. Not what you thought they SHOULD BE. Cowards? well, maybe..!

I will have to agree with 168...they can be stuck in the mud...they can be afraid to take a risk, to follow their heart. Sometimes I think they care too much about what others think of them rather than following their own truth. I have also experienced a cappy who was very selfish...only thought about his needs and how they best could be fulfilled. He then wondered why he was depressed all the time. He needs to learn to give back...to share. Hopefully he will be able to experience this wonderful gift. I have done all that I can...I removed myself from the situation.