How to get my Cappy man back?

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ascorpiowoman1979
@ascorpiowoman1979
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 3
I and my cappy man broke up 4 months ago due to a misunderstading. In the first 2 months, he just kept silent. I've made some mistakes when I texted him and sent him emails explaining the misunderstading and pushing him into reconcilation. Then after 2 months, he sent me emails, just very short ones. He wanted to be friend with me and told me he missed me alot. So we exchanged emails. Sometimes he replied right away, and sometimes he just kept silent for about 2 weeks. He's very busy but I know that's not the reason. In the latest emails he asked me if I missed him, and why I didn't send him any mails. I still love him and I guess he may still have feelings for me. He informed me that he still keep all that belong to us (emails, pictures, text messages, presents)since the begining of the relationship and he would keep them well. I've also told him that I would do the same. I still want to be with him. But I don't know what I should do to get him back. I'm so confused. I know cappy rarely get back to ex-gf and he once told me that though he still loved his ex-gf,he wouldn't do that either. Plz advice me! Thank you for considering my case.
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M143
@M143
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 2497 · Topics: 2

ascorpiowoman1979,

so if he already told you that he rarely get back his exes. then you knew already the answer.

I am Scorpio woman 1978. I think if he does loves you then getting back together might not a problem.

I suggest to not contact him constantly. Missing someone else with a just a words is a nonsense story

than to do a move.

His silent treatment irks you. Do the same thing. Give him the dosage he wants. It works to any man.

really. Just don't talk negative a lot to him. Take it lightly and act as if it didn't bother you

anymore. The more you chase and explaining the guy... the more you look desperate of winning him

back. He had ego issues. He told you that even if he loves some one else. So use it now.

Let him contact you and do your positive part when it comes.

Hope you are ok as Scorpio woman like me and you sometimes not good in handling their emotions.

so check your emotions all the time.

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ascorpiowoman1979
@ascorpiowoman1979
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 3
I went out with my friends and he got dissapointed (he expected me to take very good care of my family; he's a workaholic and after work he saves time for his parents). the misunderstanding wasn't big, we would resolve it if I had been more tactful. however, I made things worse by texting and calling him, explaining the situation, pushing him into reconcillation with me. this just pushed him away. He kept silent for nearly 2 months.I decided to apply no contact rule. Things seems to be more positive since then. He broke the silence by sending me a short email, then we exchanged emails as friends, very short ones. Then He told me that he still miss me a lot and asked me if I still miss him and love him. Yes, I still love him, but the important thing now is how I reply his questions.Please adv me. Many thanks for your consideration!
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
Well some people understand perfectly that you don't have to be with someone just b/c you love them. And Capricorns understand this completely.

Breaking up doesn't mean that your love for that person turns off like a light switch. Breaking up = I love you BUT I love me too & this is not working out.

For some people, when they're done, they are DONE. When they close that cage, they throw away the key to the point where even they themselves may not be able to unlock it again with a particular person. Again, doesn't mean that they don't love you. But the part of them that wanted to love you AND be with you is done & over with. And as much as it's understandably hard to let them go, you have to respect that.

You might be the kind of person that can go 100 rounds before you're finally tired, but everybody isn't like that. And the people who are done when they say they're done usually tried everything they could do before finally breaking it off with you, and they know/remember this which is why it's a lot harder to convince this kind of person to come back to you.

However, some times the people who go into a breakup thinking they'll never go back sometimes do have a change of heart once they've had enough space & time to reflect. And if he decides to come back to you AND if you're still wanting him back by that time, THEN go back to giving him your time, feelings, energy, body & heart.

But so far he has NOT made the leap back into the relationship with you & he most likely won't. A good rule of thumb is to NOT give anything that you can't emotionally afford to get back! Keeping the contact with him means you still giving him your feelings & if he decides never to come back to you, you will regret "waiting" for him & will be 10xs more crushed then than you are now.

Just leave him be for now. Nothing you do now will change anything if he doesn't want the relationship back. If you do get him back, it'll be b/c HE wanted it & not b/c you ran yourself crazy trying to wheel him back in. Leave that decision to him & don't try to control the outcome.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by ascorpiowoman1979
I went out with my friends and he got dissapointed (he expected me to take very good care of my family; he's a workaholic and after work he saves time for his parents). the misunderstanding wasn't big, we would resolve it if I had been more tactful. however, I made things worse by texting and calling him, explaining the situation, pushing him into reconcillation with me. this just pushed him away. He kept silent for nearly 2 months.I decided to apply no contact rule. Things seems to be more positive since then. He broke the silence by sending me a short email, then we exchanged emails as friends, very short ones. Then He told me that he still miss me a lot and asked me if I still miss him and love him. Yes, I still love him, but the important thing now is how I reply his questions.Please adv me. Many thanks for your consideration!



So he thought you were more family oriented than you are? If he makes a family with you are you going to be going out with your friends instead of taking care of your family? Is this what he got upset about?

Or does he not trust you out with your friends? He didn't want you out and about without him?

Or did you tell him you were spending it with family and went out instead? This would be a "didn't do what she said she was going to do" thing?

Not sure how this went down. I feel like there's something you're not telling us.
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ascorpiowoman1979
@ascorpiowoman1979
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 3
I have always been true with him and we always trusted each other completely. The misunderstanding was in the way I replied his texting, he thought I made a sarcasm on him but I really didn't mean it. The misunderstanding hurted him. I had explained, but he just kept silent. Moreover, I'm very family oriented as he expected. I seldom go out with friends cause I have kids to take care of. He's still single. And his intention to marry me made his mother worry. She asked him to think very thoroughly about this. There're reasons for him to remain silent for such a long time.
Time passes, and we still have feelings for each other. In his short emails, he told me he miss me many times, and he still keep everything relating to us. now he asked me if I still love him. I would like to let him know in a suble way. This would bring us back together or would make him feel awkward and push him away.
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mfwb55
@mfwb55
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 96 · Posts: 1422 · Topics: 63
Reasons for this to not happen-
1. I have always been true with him- no you havent
2. Misunderstanding hurted you- Red flag, good reason to not be with someone who is sarcastic to you
3. Family orientated expectation- deal breaker
4. Kids to take care of- deal breaker
5. Intention to marry made his mother worry- straight away wont happen coz of family issues
6. Reasons for remaining silent- this shows for itself
7. Still have feelings after all the nasty stuff- another red flag, will not work, too many reasons why it wont work.
8. Tell each other you miss each other- no need if you understand this
9. Keeps everything relating to us- Either sentimental or very suspicious, paranoid and type of person to use that info against you anyway they can which has been done.
10. He asked if i still love him- I lie no.
11. let him know in subtle way- lack of communication, indirect
12. bring us back or ... push him away- manipulation through and through

One too many reasons why you should not be with this person.

Also you forgot mention that you arent even soulmates or trueloves or even friends its only a feeling and that is all it is and ever was, it can not grow into anything else, as the time has already passed for it to 'become' anything.

You are holding onto a love lost and one that has gone. See it for what it was, two people have had feelings and due to things happening it didnt happen even though there was an initial feeling.

Just because you feel you like someone doesnt mean it will work out. In this case it didnt work out. Sure you both have feelings for one another and love one another and miss one another this does not mean you both must be married and stuff.

From the reasons stated above you think it would work out and seriously I thought it would have too but if it were to have worked out would it not have already. You both want different things yet expect too much from the other forit to ever work out. You want someone who is there 100% and she wants to have her cake and eat it too which makes you jealous and this is neither good for either of yous. Unless you can know of a good reasons to keep this shit around do so but otherwise drop it now please?
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Well, if you're true and loyal to us, caps are a very forgiving sign. We may not ever forget, but we can forgive, contrary to popular opinion about us.

Here's the problem. If you do us wrong or hurt us, our sheilds go back up and you may not ever be able to get them completely down again. Generally, a cap will back up, shield up and observe you again to see if our first impressions about you were correct or if you were presenting falsely.

He felt like you dissed his feelings and was sarcastic to his point of view, so yeah, he's going to withdraw and re-evaluate your relationship. The only thing you can do is give him time and prove yourself again. It will take time, more time than it would have otherwise, and you will have to be patient.

Our family's opinion matters greatly because if we take a glimpse into the future and it seems there is going to be a lot of conflict between you and our family (even if its not your doing), we might re-consider because we're not going to want to deal with a lot of drama later down the road. We like stress free, conflict free, peaceful lives.

He probably does miss you, but he's leery you're brashness is going to continue to hurt him time after time and he needs time to figure things out.

Just one opinion on your situation. I'm sure there are many more opinions that may have a different thought process.

Oh, don't keep apologizing and bringing it up, it will ring false. Just be honest, state your case once, be patient and give him time to process and analyze.
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
+1

If you mess up, apologize for it

If they mess up, don't give in & kiss their azz all b/c they're not the ones trying to make it right. When this happens, it turns into cat/mouse games as a quick fix instead of "Fixing the problem" quick fix lol

People who resort to the silent treatment as a means of dealing with issues have communication issues. Communication issues cannot be resolved with silence. Somebody has to be the bigger person

When something is coming from the heart, there is no need to "edit" your words. Just speak freely & trust that the other person will properly receive what you're saying.

And lastly, don't think that saying, "Sorry" means instantly jumping back in as if nothing happened. Some people are like this, but a lot of people aren't. You're not always gonna get the response you wanted. Their shield may not always come back down overnight just b/c you beg or really really really want it to. If it takes something big to get the shield back up, expect for a lot to be said/done before it finally comes back down again. Should you wait forever? Hell no. But don't be a spoiled baby if YOU mess up & can't get back "in 24 hours later. Not saying you are, just that the person who messed up can't be throwing around commands & ultimatums
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ascorpiowoman1979
@ascorpiowoman1979
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 3
I had made up my mind and asked him directly. He replied that he still love me and couldn't get me out of his mind. However, he didn't propose reconcilation. I'm going to leave my country but my love for him made me hesitate. I have postponed this for 3 months. Now I have to decide. If I go, we may be parted forever. I have to take care of my sons and wait for them to grow up if I take them there.
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ascorpiowoman1979
@ascorpiowoman1979
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 3
He didn't know of my leaving because this just raised up after we had broken up. I had even agreed to marry him and we had planned to live together. furthermore, capricorn and scorpio are both very serious. We began our relationship cheerfully, but since the relationship was established, I only felt the intense. This really worries me. I still want to be with him badly because he's a good man and I love him. But I'm still wondering whether our relationship would last long (if we ever have the second chance) because we are both so serious and lacking humorous trait in our personality.
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FireyKitty
@FireyKitty
12 YearsLeo

Comments: 19 · Posts: 230 · Topics: 12
Posted by truecap
Well, if you're true and loyal to us, caps are a very forgiving sign. We may not ever forget, but we can forgive, contrary to popular opinion about us.

Here's the problem. If you do us wrong or hurt us, our sheilds go back up and you may not ever be able to get them completely down again. Generally, a cap will back up, shield up and observe you again to see if our first impressions about you were correct or if you were presenting falsely.

He felt like you dissed his feelings and was sarcastic to his point of view, so yeah, he's going to withdraw and re-evaluate your relationship. The only thing you can do is give him time and prove yourself again. It will take time, more time than it would have otherwise, and you will have to be patient.

Our family's opinion matters greatly because if we take a glimpse into the future and it seems there is going to be a lot of conflict between you and our family (even if its not your doing), we might re-consider because we're not going to want to deal with a lot of drama later down the road. We like stress free, conflict free, peaceful lives.

He probably does miss you, but he's leery you're brashness is going to continue to hurt him time after time and he needs time to figure things out.

Just one opinion on your situation. I'm sure there are many more opinions that may have a different thought process.

Oh, don't keep apologizing and bringing it up, it will ring false. Just be honest, state your case once, be patient and give him time to process and analyze.


That's super true. Caps do hold grudges, but a grudge doesn't mean forever just longer than most people. The cap guy I'm dating now is always willing to give us a try after not talking for awhile or after a fight. We hardly ever fight but the rare times we have it seemed like his ego kind of warped what was going on. Usuaully he'd be rude but then he'd get offended? I think he was just hurt and felt disrespected. I explained how I meant something completely different than what he thought; I would never say something to make him feel inferior, the exact opposite actually. Anyway we got past it. This happened with multiple Caps I've dated, once they're comfortable I think they can forgive, forget and express themselves. Maybe because I've known all my Cap friends for years so I guess I "get" them now but you will have to be patient and prove that y
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CapriLady
@CapriLady
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 702 · Topics: 5
That sounds positive. I sort of feel like I'm being watched to see how I react, and if I can stay calm without overreacting through the silence than I'll at least have a friend. My person appears to be going through something personal and they don't want me involved. There was no fight. I haven't been blocked. It's just silence.

I suppose looking at this as an investment in a potential long term friendship would be useful. This is most likely how they handle personal problems without involving others, and the withdrawing until calm behavior will probably never go away completely.