I'm curious does this dynamic plays out in relationships?

For Caps and Cancers.
Either you end up playing the Parent role to your partner OR the child role.
Have you've ever been in a dynamic like this?
How did you change this pattern?

Nope not been in this situation

Maybe switch it up so that the two of you try role play doc and patient or nurse and patient

Don't even go there dude...

Cancers IMO are very motherly and want to take care of those they love, so child role is more likely. If they are immature they might seek more of a parent role in a partner to take care of them.

I personally Dont find anything wrong with it. Some people really like taking care of others or being taken care of. As long as there is mutual respect it should be okay. It might create issue with a Cappie, we are usually independent.

My cancer is def the child and i the mother. Idk if u can really change it. I have to say I did learn to let go and " be the child" at times and that forces him to take on the pArent role but it is very hard for me being a cap to let go and not be the responsible one .as we grow I think he will become more mature and I will become less uptight which will create a better balance than 2 extremes.

Posted by FrenchKpricorn
dont open to her and ask her about her life

Emotionally starving her? Maybe if she had heavy Earth or air, firey or watery women would not tolerate that. At all.

Posted by SamCancerGirl
Maybe switch it up so that the two of you try role play doc and patient or nurse and patient

I'm not in that situation, but yeah I be happy to play like that with them.

Posted by Greentea
Don't even go there dude...

I know it can be a sore spot for both signs, but if it's true, I'm sure we can figure out how and why both signs end up in situations like that.

Posted by CapricornLaurie
Cancers IMO are very motherly and want to take care of those they love, so child role is more likely. If they are immature they might seek more of a parent role in a partner to take care of them.

I personally Dont find anything wrong with it. Some people really like taking care of others or being taken care of. As long as there is mutual respect it should be okay. It might create issue with a Cappie, we are usually independent.

click to expand

Yeah once it hits a Cap they've become emotionally attached and even dependent on someone, it hurts our pride a bit.

Posted by BetaBanana
My cancer is def the child and i the mother. Idk if u can really change it. I have to say I did learn to let go and " be the child" at times and that forces him to take on the pArent role but it is very hard for me being a cap to let go and not be the responsible one .as we grow I think he will become more mature and I will become less uptight which will create a better balance than 2 extremes.

Thank you for the post. Yeah, I have moments where I'd rather suffer than actually depend on someone close to me for help. Learning to trust and depend on others has to be THE hardest lesson for me to learn, mainly because I refuse to accept weakness within myself. Even if others don't see trusting them/asking them for help as a sign of weakness.

Posted by DonnaElvira77

Posted by SirHorns
For Caps and Cancers.
Either you end up playing the Parent role to your partner OR the child role.
Have you've ever been in a dynamic like this?
How did you change this pattern?

Yes. I felt like the parent. I couldn't change it.

He was constantly in crisis mode. I think that's how it happened. It was partially because of his circumstances.

I have had to realize my tendency to become heavily involved with people in both friendships and relationships who are constantly in crisis mode. I am recognizing that and dealing with it :-)

It's an easily recognizable pattern in me. I tend to be there most ...when you need me. Great right?? Eh sometimes. What about people who ALWAYS need you. I mean who are always in crisis.






The only cappie guy I was with I felt very much like the parent. It's draining.

You can't change it in a relationship. I think you have to leave and fix yourself.

click to expand

Oh grief, that lesson.
Agreed. I noticed this when I caught the fact I could rarely see someone as an equal. People were either they were an authority, wise or mature (parent) or needy, impulsive or naïve (child). No in-between. No spectrum. No gray area.

I am wondering the consequences of being both materially and emotionally self-sufficient. A person who is content can't be seduced, so that with that fact the two easiest areas people judge others on the worth covered, I could end repulsing people due to the fact my weakness aren't easily seen on the surface.

Posted by DonnaElvira77

blockquote>

That's what he would SAY. But in reality it was not like that.

Now I am in fairness one of the LEAST independent people out there. (believe me!) So it's not like I can talk.



I filled out his college application stuff. Helped him with written assignments. Cooked for him sometimes with food i bought. Found him a better place to live. I supported him emotionally and his choices. I went to his shows and had to beg him to come to mine. If he had been less angry volatile and abusive things might have been better but that is the way he was.


I understood he was in difficult circumstances and i am certainly not perfect. His circumstances contributed a lot to the way he felt. Or at least I thought so. 'When things are better so will he be'. I just couldn't do it anymore.

Weirdly I crashed AFTER I broke up with him. Anxiety central.

But I am doing a lot better now :-)

Oh man, ouch. I'm recalling advice I've heard years ago.
You can't save anyone who doesn't want to be saved. If they aren't trying to save themselves, then they're content with how things are now and won't change until they can't live that way anymore due to life.

You're kind for trying to help him though. Glad you're doing better!