I've been feeling extremely guilty over this Cap.

I belong on another forum (my primary one, DXP is my 2nd 🙂 ) which is male dominated and we talk about about our life, relationships, etc. We discussed cutting off communication with a person, push/pull technique and I learned and realized a lot.

From the advice I've gotten from these guys including my own cousin who pretty much witnessed what I went through with my Cap, I've been feeling guilty. Cutting off communication with so much left unsaid, ignoring his calls for 6 months straight, noticing his stares from afar...I feel pretty crappy. Yes, we didn't speak for 2 1/2 months (I'm starting to believing he didn't exactly disappear..too complex) but I feel somewhat responsible for how it turned out. I hate blaming the other party and having the "I'm innocent" mindset and I hate it when people do it. I like being fair and taking responsibility for myself.

He's probably resenting me now. My sister ran into him one night and he asked about me and why he hasn't heard from me. He's never spoken to her before. I'm surprised he asked. I spoke to my cousin and she said I should speak to him to put him out of his misery of calling so much. She said she isn't siding with me or him but feels I've been cruel by doing what I did with no good reason.

I've been feeling really bad today 😢 Didn't think I'd feel guilty. Looking back, I'm partly to blame.

And this all hit me today 😢

Wow... So, let me get this straight.

You were getting to know a guy (Cappy albeit) and he started losing interest (or so you believed) and you in return began ignoring him to punish him back in hopes of making him suffer. This has been going on for 6mos and you've physically seen him during this time and you two never spoke just stared at each other from afar. Your sister saw him and he having no previous communication with her manned up and asked her about you and shared his concern with not having heard from you in a while. With this new knowledge you still didn't contact him and now you're feeling guilty. Do I have it correctly?

If so...

I understand why you did what you did. It always seems when women show men they like them that men begin distancing themselves and sometimes going MIA. Yes, we women perceive it as disinterest and the games begin. If you ask him is everything ok between you two he will say yes (of course) which is not good enough because you notice a difference between how things were initially and how they've become. But, if you don't ask, he will figure out something's up and he will fall in line with playing the game.

All I can say is that you should just bite the bullet and have an all out pow-wow with him about what's been going on. Not sure if that will make things better but it will clear the air and hopefully he'll want a clean slate just like you. Otherwise, he will see your game playing and hostility and not feel good about who you are and not opt to get closer or wipe the slate clean. I can't be sure which way he'll go so basically you have to take your chances.