Leadership

Okay, I understand that as a Cap, I can appear to have my shit together.

That my mostly Cardinal focused chart means I'm good at starting projects, etc

...but sweet lord why does it seem that unless I'm outright herding everyone like sheep, they can't initiate anything by themselves?

It's like I have to do everything and folks just wanna enjoy the ride.

I don't even know how to fix this aside from starting to pretend I can't read or do math to get these people to stuff proactively on their own.

Most people would secretly just like to be lead.

It takes away the mental effort of finding the right way forward, they'd also like to keep their "social capital" intact ie good relations that would go to shit when they'd need to manhandle their assets (coworkers) to reach the goal set and most importantly it absolves them of any and all responsability.

Lead on dude, ppl are sheep. Micromanaging can be a chore tho.

Posted by UnicornSag
when people see your potential and willingness to do things more they will just abuse it until you stop doing it or pretend to not be able to do it so someone else will have to step up. Can't you assign them to do tasks then?

What about situations where NOBODY steps up, so nothing will get done?

Oh, I can and in work place situations, I'm more than fine with this.

When it's social hobbies, etc where everyone is supposed to equal and responsible for themselves, I find it odd that they're so passive.

Posted by Mr_Pinchy
Most people would secretly just like to be lead.

It takes away the mental effort of finding the right way forward, they'd also like to keep their "social capital" intact ie good relations that would go to shit when they'd need to manhandle their assets (coworkers) to reach the goal set and most importantly it dissolves them of any and all responsability.

Lead on dude, ppl are sheep. Micromanaging can be a chore tho.

Absolutely, which is why I don't question this dynamic in workplace settings.

It's the social ones that get me a bit. While social capital is a factor and, one would think getting bosses around would be grating. Or that one would jump at the chance to be their own boss and choose their own fate so to speak, when it comes to hobbies, etc.

Totally, I don't mirco-manage, but do guide them enough to get things done.

Posted by DeadInside
let them die go solo, dont be scared to be alone. you'll met another solo peep like you in this road

In social hobbies? Well I mean I can and have before, though this pattern doesn't go away.

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge

Posted by SirHorns

Posted by UnicornSag
when people see your potential and willingness to do things more they will just abuse it until you stop doing it or pretend to not be able to do it so someone else will have to step up. Can't you assign them to do tasks then?

What about situations where NOBODY steps up, so nothing will get done?

Oh, I can and in work place situations, I'm more than fine with this.

When it's social hobbies, etc where everyone is supposed to equal and responsible for themselves, I find it odd that they're so passive.

Then allocate responsibilities to each of them for the sake of equality

Okay guys we need to plan this party

Billie you get the decorations

Jenny get the cake

Bla bla bla

We’ll all set up at this date and time

Something like that

click to expand

Missing my point, since I'm basically the boss in that situation anyway, giving out orders. I can do just fine.

Posted by UnicornSag
Yeah I know what you mean, have dealt with people like that as well. It feels like you always have to be the one to initiate and organize things. I don't really know how to deal with it when it comes to friends. Over time if it starts to bug me so much I just stop doing it as well so either they step up or nothing will be done

Yeah, that seems to be the easiest solution. It's strange to me to see people be so passive with something they enjoy.

Posted by SirHorns


Absolutely, which is why I don't question this dynamic in workplace settings.

It's the social ones that get me a bit. While social capital is a factor and, one would think getting bosses around would be grating. Or that one would jump at the chance to be their own boss and choose their own fate so to speak, when it comes to hobbies, etc.

Totally, I don't mirco-manage, but do guide them enough to get things done.

Maybe you're too overzealous.

Lemme give an example, my two best buddies a cap and a pisces, one friday night we decide to go to the national park the other day. Okay we go then is the decision, very ad-hoc decision. I leave the pisces' place at 2 am.

Cap calls at 7 and something am if i'm ready to go. Im like....dude!??!!

Okay we get to the car, dude brings out an entire list of things to do and see, he wanted it all, views from two different hills overlooking some lakes, hiking around some other lakes, visiting some cabin an hour and a half walking away from the lakes etc etc....just too much.

Pisces and i were like, okay we didn't sign up for this......we do one peak, we walk a bit in nice scenery and then we chill somewhere before going home. I could see his enthusiasm for the trip dropping with every word lol. He was a bit sour on the drive there but then he decided he won't be a puss and i guess came to terms that he should just make the best of what's offered to him.

Posted by SirHorns
Okay, I understand that as a Cap, I can appear to have my shit together.

That my mostly Cardinal focused chart means I'm good at starting projects, etc

...but sweet lord why does it seem that unless I'm outright herding everyone like sheep, they can't initiate anything by themselves?

It's like I have to do everything and folks just wanna enjoy the ride.

I don't even know how to fix this aside from starting to pretend I can't read or do math to get these people to stuff proactively on their own.

Do you give them the opportunity to?

Posted by Mr_Pinchy

Posted by SirHorns


Absolutely, which is why I don't question this dynamic in workplace settings.

It's the social ones that get me a bit. While social capital is a factor and, one would think getting bosses around would be grating. Or that one would jump at the chance to be their own boss and choose their own fate so to speak, when it comes to hobbies, etc.

Totally, I don't mirco-manage, but do guide them enough to get things done.

Maybe you're too overzealous.

Lemme give an example, my two best buddies a cap and a pisces, one friday night we decide to go to the national park the other day. Okay we go then is the decision, very ad-hoc decision. I leave the pisces' place at 2 am.

Cap calls at 7 and something am if i'm ready to go. Im like....dude!??!!

Okay we get to the car, dude brings out an entire list of things to do and see, he wanted it all, views from two different hills overlooking some lakes, hiking around some other lakes, visiting some cabin an hour and a half walking away from the lakes etc etc....just too much.

Pisces and i were like, okay we didn't sign up for this......we do one peak, we walk a bit in nice scenery and then we chill somewhere before going home. I could see his enthusiasm for the trip dropping with every word lol. He was a bit sour on the drive there but then he decided he won't be a puss and i guess came to terms that he should just make the best of what's offered to him.

click to expand

Yeah...that's a bit much. With the social stuff I talking about, usually you need two people to get things off the ground. So while I have an idea on what I'd like to accomplish, I wouldn't expect the other person to go along with any drawn out plan to begin with.

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by SirHorns
Okay, I understand that as a Cap, I can appear to have my shit together.

That my mostly Cardinal focused chart means I'm good at starting projects, etc

...but sweet lord why does it seem that unless I'm outright herding everyone like sheep, they can't initiate anything by themselves?

It's like I have to do everything and folks just wanna enjoy the ride.

I don't even know how to fix this aside from starting to pretend I can't read or do math to get these people to stuff proactively on their own.

Do you give them the opportunity to?

click to expand

Yes. I mean from months to in one case an entire year. I focus on other stuff/work/etc so I give plenty of room for anyone who wants to step up to do something.