Posted by Leo188881
I have no idea really. I've just been reading lots about my venus and watching videos on youtube. It's virgo which is awful and I've realised all of my insecurities and relationship problems are from this placement and i am overly critical and have a fear of intimacy. I self sabotage and make excuses about why it wont work instead of focusing on positives. My expectations are way too high. I'm trying to be aware of the problems being my issues, rather than thinking he's the one doing something wrong or not giving me enough. I need to work on myself so i don't screw it up. I thought maybe yours was like mine. But it's probably my sun relating to your venus.


This one is yours...

Venus in Leo
When Venus in Leo people are in love, they are proud, even boastful. This position of Venus can turn humble Virgo Suns or retiring Cancer Suns into somewhat demanding lovers. Venus in Leo loves to court and be courted, and they need to feel very special. They are warm, generous, and even grand. Though really quite loyal to their partners (remember that love is THE most important thing in Leo’s life), they thrive on romantic attention. Be prepared for their displays: they will tell you about any advances made on them. Remember, they’re just showing off to you, and it’s likely harmless. It’s a different story if you do the same, however. That’s when you’ll hear the lion roar…and, no doubt, you’ll want to keep these cats purring. Venus in Leo wants to appear experienced in love, even if they have little or no experience whatsoever!

Venus in Leo men and women have high expectations, but once you know that these expectations revolve only around how much attention you are giving them, you’ll see that they are really quite big-hearted about most everything else. They are threatened by a relationship that appears to have settled too much, or one that’s lost its spark. They are also threatened by indifferent or impersonal behavior on your part.

Although their needs for physical expression through sex are generally quite strong, their need for love is perhaps even stronger. It is hard for Venus in Leo people to separate love and sex, and even their most erotic fantasies are infused with love and affection. For this reason, few Venus in Leo folk would last long in a relationship that is mostly sexual. On the flip side, they may last longer in a love-only relationship in the absence of satisfying sex, but they are unlikely to feel very satisfied.

Pleasing Venus in Leo involves paying loads of attention to them. If you’re willing to make only one adjustment in your ways, it should be to remind Leo how wonderful they are. Respect and appreciate them, always. Put up with their childlike moments and their tall tales. They want to be seen as attractive by you, so avoid (at all costs!) putting them down in this area. They actually lose interest when they perceive the slightest loss of interest in their partner, and you can expect that any letdown will be acted out in a dramatic fashion. Remind them, in a gentle way, that your emotions count too. If you are feeling a little jealous, let them know. Remember, to Venus in Leo, your small jealousies are affirmations that you find them attractive and expect the rest of the world to as well. Let them decide where to go on a date, and let them pay too. When Venus in Leo feels loved and appreciated, they reward you with loyalty, a big sense of fun, and plenty of physical expressions of their love.

My Personal Ad Bio: “I’m warm-hearted and fun. I’m funny, and experienced. Let me show you a good time.”

Love is magnificent and grand to Venus in Leo people. They take pride in love and their love relationships, and they are typically generous with their money. This is a warmhearted, teasing, expressive, proud, and extravagant placement for Venus. Love is a bit of a game–a game that is perpetual, as Venus in Leo is forever stuck in the romance stage of a relationship. They feed on attention, acknowledgement, validation, and adoration. Venus in Leo loves to be adored, pampered, and admired. They have a strong ego investment in their love lives. The negative expression of this placement is overstating of feelings simply for the effect, as well as extravagance.

Venus in Leo people may spend a lot on entertainment or sometimes just to show off! They generally are big tippers and give special and generous gifts. They are attracted to art, furnishings, clothing, and music that is bold and passionate, renaissance, lush or opulent, lavishly comfortable, and romantic.


I can relate to a lot of that - not just in current situation but past situations too and perhaps why things didn't work out.
There are bits that make me laugh when I read cos I think "yep. That's Me!!
Thank you heaps. So interesting to read!!😊
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Just checking up to see if you're ok...


Thanks hun..
have been quite distracted last few days with helping other people which has been a good thing..
He called yesterday letting me know where he's at and that he was travelling to next location today. Was just a nice happy convo bout what we've both been up too...he also texted just before he left location (which I always ask him to do cos he knows I worry.).
He's due back in a week now instead of 2..

So anxious and so trying not to dwell on it too much but I have a busy week this week too so it will help pass the time better...

How about you and your man?

That's good that you're keeping busy. Hopefully the next week will pass quickly. It sounds like you're doing better with the communication which is nice. ❤


Communication is better than anticipated but I'm trying not to read into it and think about it too much. Just taking it for what it is until he gets back..x


Out of curiosity where is your venus?
click to expand


My Venus is in Leo.

The rest is
Sun Gemini
Moon Gemini
Mercury Gemini
Mars Aries
Jupiter Aries
Saturn Cancer
Uranus Libra
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra
Lilith Pisces
Asc nodeSagittarius

I don't really understand my natal chart. Trying to but all new to me... Do you understand it? and if so, feel free to shed any light my way..x
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Just checking up to see if you're ok...


Thanks hun..
have been quite distracted last few days with helping other people which has been a good thing..
He called yesterday letting me know where he's at and that he was travelling to next location today. Was just a nice happy convo bout what we've both been up too...he also texted just before he left location (which I always ask him to do cos he knows I worry.).
He's due back in a week now instead of 2..

So anxious and so trying not to dwell on it too much but I have a busy week this week too so it will help pass the time better...

How about you and your man?

That's good that you're keeping busy. Hopefully the next week will pass quickly. It sounds like you're doing better with the communication which is nice. ❤
click to expand


Communication is better than anticipated but I'm trying not to read into it and think about it too much. Just taking it for what it is until he gets back..x
Posted by Leo188881
Just checking up to see if you're ok...


Thanks hun..
have been quite distracted last few days with helping other people which has been a good thing..
He called yesterday letting me know where he's at and that he was travelling to next location today. Was just a nice happy convo bout what we've both been up too...he also texted just before he left location (which I always ask him to do cos he knows I worry.).
He's due back in a week now instead of 2..

So anxious and so trying not to dwell on it too much but I have a busy week this week too so it will help pass the time better...

How about you and your man?
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Ok so i just texed him 😂
I just wrote hi 😝


😅😅
No reply yet I'm assuming?. Does he respond to funny stuff and like it cos it made him laugh?


He replied but it took him 2 minutes for the first one and 1 minute for the 2nd one... the third message is still pending 😂


2 minutes pretty good!!
He replied though...


Yeah he always does. That's one good thing about him.


Mine loves funny stuff too...

As for your previous post..yes..need to just be me - the crazy, worrisome, anxious yet funny and goofy me!

Yep! You do that. That you is probably the one that got his attention to begin with. We need to stop trying to fit in a box and stop living by relationship rules and not do and act the way we think we're supposed to.


Thank you..I've got no more words but thank you..😊

I took my own advice and lost my butter... i might have gone one step further than what is mentally stable 😕
I asked him if i annoy him or if he wants me to leave him alone and his response was "omg" so i told him im not psychic and proceeded to download a magic 8ball app and asked that instead and sent him screen shots of the answers because he didn't give one. The 8ball said he thinks im annoying and he doesn't want me to contact him. At first he thought it was funny... And then it got serious. i asked if i should believe the 8ball and he said do whatever you want so i said you really dont care huh so I'll leave you alone.. and again, all i got was omg. So then i sent him a big text about how can i know if he wants me or not if he doesn't say or do anything to show me. And i told him i don't even know what this situation is. If he's a fk buddy or is it nothing or what is it?
Took him an hour to reply.. he said I'll call you soon. So now i have to wait and see what happens. Maybe i was too crazy but i guess I'll get my answer.


That is so something I would have done and have done. When I would get a little crazy over the phone he would say that he can't handle it.
I would then often send a text apologising and saying how I felt. He would either send me a text pointing out things that he wouldn't have done for me or with me if he wasn't interested. After that it's often left and never spoken. That's why I'm hesitant to talk to him about it because I need to remain calm and perhaps get him at a time when he has time to talk.
Let me know how you go though. Just be calm when you talk but maybe get your point across but in a "I care about you a lot kinda way" if that makes sense?

Lol thanks. I don't feel so crazy anymore. I do the sorry text too but now I'm like.. why am i sorry for having feelings or being upset?
I'll try to be calm. Usually i pretend it's fine and then i don't get to say what i need to. It's like covering it up temporarily but never really fixing it so i end up in this loop that keeps repeating. I'm going to tell him if he can't give me enough of his time because of work, he needs to be prepared to give me reassurance to make up for it and sometimes I'm going to be needy. Hopefully he likes me a massive amount and is prepared to make it work together. If not, I'll be ok on my own.

How’d the call go?

He hasn't called yet. He's still at work so I have no idea when he will finish... maybe i should have replied? Lol i kind of just left it without say ok or anything


Lol yea follow up with a text. It’s nice he said he’d call seems like he does care!

I just sent him a 😝 in case he's forgotten but i know he's still working.
When we're together it feels like he's in love with me. It's just the in between that feels empty. He doesn't plan to see me again and that gets to me because I don't know when I'll see him so it doesn't feel like he looks forward to it.




Because work is a priority. You’re important too. Don’t doubt it. Trust him.

Has he always been like this? It might just be who he is and that probably won’t change. But I don’t see anything wrong with it. I mean, he could be a lot worse!!! But he isn’t.

He was better in the beginning. Then slowly less and less. The problem is, the less effort he makes, the more i get used to it and the less i feel for him. My guard is coming up to protect my heart instead of dropping. If we don't look after our relationship, it will die and i don't want to kill it. So I need him to help me with it if he wants to keep it.

The same thing happened with my guy. He was amazing in the beginning. Then his effort became less. The beginning was just the honeymoon phase. How he behaves now, is who he truly is.

I’m just thinking that we need to accept them for who they are and realize there’s nothing really wrong with the relationship. They still care and love us. But not in the most obvious/direct way.

It seems like you’re not happy with this and you want more. I just don’t know if an aqua can give you exactly what you’re seeking emotionally. I hope so and wish you so much luck. But it might be best to look for a water or fire sign.

When we're together he is really affectionate and i love that and we talk for hours and laugh and are perfect. It's just the time in between that's been a problem. I think i could happily marry this guy if i saw him a bit more.
We spoke for an hour and i got it all out. He asked me if he can call me again later. I think i just need to tell him when I'm feeling needy and neglected instead of pretending I'm ok and letting it eat away at me. I told him that i will be cracking the butters at him and consulting the magic 8ball regularly from now on and he said i can crack the butters whenever I want and he'll still like me so i feel better now.
click to expand


Sounds like progress and he Does care about you..
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Ok so i just texed him 😂
I just wrote hi 😝


😅😅
No reply yet I'm assuming?. Does he respond to funny stuff and like it cos it made him laugh?


He replied but it took him 2 minutes for the first one and 1 minute for the 2nd one... the third message is still pending 😂


2 minutes pretty good!!
He replied though...


Yeah he always does. That's one good thing about him.


Mine loves funny stuff too...

As for your previous post..yes..need to just be me - the crazy, worrisome, anxious yet funny and goofy me!

Yep! You do that. That you is probably the one that got his attention to begin with. We need to stop trying to fit in a box and stop living by relationship rules and not do and act the way we think we're supposed to.


Thank you..I've got no more words but thank you..😊

I took my own advice and lost my butter... i might have gone one step further than what is mentally stable 😕
I asked him if i annoy him or if he wants me to leave him alone and his response was "omg" so i told him im not psychic and proceeded to download a magic 8ball app and asked that instead and sent him screen shots of the answers because he didn't give one. The 8ball said he thinks im annoying and he doesn't want me to contact him. At first he thought it was funny... And then it got serious. i asked if i should believe the 8ball and he said do whatever you want so i said you really dont care huh so I'll leave you alone.. and again, all i got was omg. So then i sent him a big text about how can i know if he wants me or not if he doesn't say or do anything to show me. And i told him i don't even know what this situation is. If he's a fk buddy or is it nothing or what is it?
Took him an hour to reply.. he said I'll call you soon. So now i have to wait and see what happens. Maybe i was too crazy but i guess I'll get my answer.


That is so something I would have done and have done. When I would get a little crazy over the phone he would say that he can't handle it.
I would then often send a text apologising and saying how I felt. He would either send me a text pointing out things that he wouldn't have done for me or with me if he wasn't interested. After that it's often left and never spoken. That's why I'm hesitant to talk to him about it because I need to remain calm and perhaps get him at a time when he has time to talk.
Let me know how you go though. Just be calm when you talk but maybe get your point across but in a "I care about you a lot kinda way" if that makes sense?

Lol thanks. I don't feel so crazy anymore. I do the sorry text too but now I'm like.. why am i sorry for having feelings or being upset?
I'll try to be calm. Usually i pretend it's fine and then i don't get to say what i need to. It's like covering it up temporarily but never really fixing it so i end up in this loop that keeps repeating. I'm going to tell him if he can't give me enough of his time because of work, he needs to be prepared to give me reassurance to make up for it and sometimes I'm going to be needy. Hopefully he likes me a massive amount and is prepared to make it work together. If not, I'll be ok on my own.
click to expand


Can relate to what happened so much. I hope too he is prepared to come to something to which works for both of you to keep moving forward. They make you crazy but you care so much..
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Ok so i just texed him 😂
I just wrote hi 😝


😅😅
No reply yet I'm assuming?. Does he respond to funny stuff and like it cos it made him laugh?


He replied but it took him 2 minutes for the first one and 1 minute for the 2nd one... the third message is still pending 😂


2 minutes pretty good!!
He replied though...


Yeah he always does. That's one good thing about him.


Mine loves funny stuff too...

As for your previous post..yes..need to just be me - the crazy, worrisome, anxious yet funny and goofy me!

Yep! You do that. That you is probably the one that got his attention to begin with. We need to stop trying to fit in a box and stop living by relationship rules and not do and act the way we think we're supposed to.


Thank you..I've got no more words but thank you..😊

I took my own advice and lost my butter... i might have gone one step further than what is mentally stable 😕
I asked him if i annoy him or if he wants me to leave him alone and his response was "omg" so i told him im not psychic and proceeded to download a magic 8ball app and asked that instead and sent him screen shots of the answers because he didn't give one. The 8ball said he thinks im annoying and he doesn't want me to contact him. At first he thought it was funny... And then it got serious. i asked if i should believe the 8ball and he said do whatever you want so i said you really dont care huh so I'll leave you alone.. and again, all i got was omg. So then i sent him a big text about how can i know if he wants me or not if he doesn't say or do anything to show me. And i told him i don't even know what this situation is. If he's a fk buddy or is it nothing or what is it?
Took him an hour to reply.. he said I'll call you soon. So now i have to wait and see what happens. Maybe i was too crazy but i guess I'll get my answer.
click to expand


That is so something I would have done and have done. When I would get a little crazy over the phone he would say that he can't handle it.
I would then often send a text apologising and saying how I felt. He would either send me a text pointing out things that he wouldn't have done for me or with me if he wasn't interested. After that it's often left and never spoken. That's why I'm hesitant to talk to him about it because I need to remain calm and perhaps get him at a time when he has time to talk.
Let me know how you go though. Just be calm when you talk but maybe get your point across but in a "I care about you a lot kinda way" if that makes sense?
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Ok so i just texed him 😂
I just wrote hi 😝


😅😅
No reply yet I'm assuming?. Does he respond to funny stuff and like it cos it made him laugh?


He replied but it took him 2 minutes for the first one and 1 minute for the 2nd one... the third message is still pending 😂


2 minutes pretty good!!
He replied though...


Yeah he always does. That's one good thing about him.


Mine loves funny stuff too...

As for your previous post..yes..need to just be me - the crazy, worrisome, anxious yet funny and goofy me!

Yep! You do that. That you is probably the one that got his attention to begin with. We need to stop trying to fit in a box and stop living by relationship rules and not do and act the way we think we're supposed to.
click to expand


Thank you..I've got no more words but thank you..😊
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Ok so i just texed him 😂
I just wrote hi 😝


😅😅
No reply yet I'm assuming?. Does he respond to funny stuff and like it cos it made him laugh?


He replied but it took him 2 minutes for the first one and 1 minute for the 2nd one... the third message is still pending 😂


2 minutes pretty good!!
He replied though...


Yeah he always does. That's one good thing about him.
click to expand


Mine loves funny stuff too...

As for your previous post..yes..need to just be me - the crazy, worrisome, anxious yet funny and goofy me!
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Ok so i just texed him 😂
I just wrote hi 😝


😅😅
No reply yet I'm assuming?. Does he respond to funny stuff and like it cos it made him laugh?


He replied but it took him 2 minutes for the first one and 1 minute for the 2nd one... the third message is still pending 😂
click to expand


2 minutes pretty good!!
He replied though...
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


I do think about him always but just more wondering what he's thinking and because it's sort of a limbo relationship I guess I think about what will be in the future instead of just taking it a day at a time...anxious is my middle name😄

lol aww. Try to be positive. I think he will come around!


I will. As for you, sounds like who will give in first and text but love your attitude for standing your ground.

I feel confident about it, oddly. I think it’s because he hasn’t disappeared and he still shows interest even though it’s indirectly.

I think it’s a good sign your guy still talks to you. Somehow you gotta take it to the next level. Would you ever ask him to be exclusive??


I had many a convo in my head recently about how I would bring up the situation and exclusiveness was in there possibly saying to him that I didn't mind the unofficial side but would want exclusiveness...I feel in a way that the fact that I know he may/May not be with other people makes me lose respect for myself. That I'm an option and not a choice.


Say it to him. After 18 months, you deserve exclusivity at the least.


I know. Something has to be said....


It’s his loss if he doesn’t want you. No more wasting your time on him if that’s the case. You could find someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea


Trying to embrace that attitude...:-)

lol I’m really for this no contact strategy. Before I started this, I felt desperate, depressed, hopeless, frustrated, low, not in control, etc. I was in the same boat. We talked, but a lot less than before and definitely not very lovey dovey. He had been aloof since November, but still here.

Now I feel confident, powerful, valued, etc.

It just shows the guy, hey I know I’m amazing and I don’t need you. (Even though I secretly want you)


November/start of December when mine started going aloof too!!
You know, I really like your strategy. Makes perfect sense. I need to show him that I can live my life (don't need someone) but that I secretly want him.
I'm usually the one to initiate texts/calls so this would be unusual in his eyes for me to not initiate. And if he wants me in my life, he will make the effort otherwise it will prove I'm not what he wants. They do have to make that decision. Can't mess with free will and distance sometimes makes people reassess what is important in their life and what isn't.



Just be careful that distancing yourself isn't giving him the impression that you're no longer interested if that's not what you want. It can easily be misread. He's a guy and guys are stupid so he's going to understand it as you don't like him anymore, not that you want him to chase you more.


There is a fine line I guess but even just one day of me not calling/texting is a lot for me. Couldn't not communicate with him for weeks but some distance I think might be good. I think sometimes I can be a bit much in the texting/calling category but it's only because I care so much but I think some guys in general can get overwhelmed by it.

I understand. I've been that way in the past. With this guy, I've held back a lot because i didn't want to appear clingy or needy or too into him and now i regret doing that. I regret fear holding me back and walking on egg shells and not saying enough. I'm realising now that i shouldn't be afraid to lose him, he should be afraid to lose me. So don't forget your value.


I am not being my true self either for fear of him losing interest and I think he can see I'm not being true. He actually likes when I stand up for myself and tell him off for something he's said to me or done.


You know what??? Screw all the advice! What I've said and what everyone else has said and be you! Isn't that who you want him tonlike anyway???
click to expand



The more I write in this topic the more I realise that. If he doesn't like me for me then it isn't meant to be. We only have one life and no point in not living the life being who you are..
Posted by Leo188881
Ok so i just texed him 😂
I just wrote hi 😝


😅😅
No reply yet I'm assuming?. Does he respond to funny stuff and like it cos it made him laugh?
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


I do think about him always but just more wondering what he's thinking and because it's sort of a limbo relationship I guess I think about what will be in the future instead of just taking it a day at a time...anxious is my middle name😄

lol aww. Try to be positive. I think he will come around!


I will. As for you, sounds like who will give in first and text but love your attitude for standing your ground.

I feel confident about it, oddly. I think it’s because he hasn’t disappeared and he still shows interest even though it’s indirectly.

I think it’s a good sign your guy still talks to you. Somehow you gotta take it to the next level. Would you ever ask him to be exclusive??


I had many a convo in my head recently about how I would bring up the situation and exclusiveness was in there possibly saying to him that I didn't mind the unofficial side but would want exclusiveness...I feel in a way that the fact that I know he may/May not be with other people makes me lose respect for myself. That I'm an option and not a choice.


Say it to him. After 18 months, you deserve exclusivity at the least.


I know. Something has to be said....


It’s his loss if he doesn’t want you. No more wasting your time on him if that’s the case. You could find someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea


Trying to embrace that attitude...:-)

lol I’m really for this no contact strategy. Before I started this, I felt desperate, depressed, hopeless, frustrated, low, not in control, etc. I was in the same boat. We talked, but a lot less than before and definitely not very lovey dovey. He had been aloof since November, but still here.

Now I feel confident, powerful, valued, etc.

It just shows the guy, hey I know I’m amazing and I don’t need you. (Even though I secretly want you)


November/start of December when mine started going aloof too!!
You know, I really like your strategy. Makes perfect sense. I need to show him that I can live my life (don't need someone) but that I secretly want him.
I'm usually the one to initiate texts/calls so this would be unusual in his eyes for me to not initiate. And if he wants me in my life, he will make the effort otherwise it will prove I'm not what he wants. They do have to make that decision. Can't mess with free will and distance sometimes makes people reassess what is important in their life and what isn't.



Just be careful that distancing yourself isn't giving him the impression that you're no longer interested if that's not what you want. It can easily be misread. He's a guy and guys are stupid so he's going to understand it as you don't like him anymore, not that you want him to chase you more.


There is a fine line I guess but even just one day of me not calling/texting is a lot for me. Couldn't not communicate with him for weeks but some distance I think might be good. I think sometimes I can be a bit much in the texting/calling category but it's only because I care so much but I think some guys in general can get overwhelmed by it.

I understand. I've been that way in the past. With this guy, I've held back a lot because i didn't want to appear clingy or needy or too into him and now i regret doing that. I regret fear holding me back and walking on egg shells and not saying enough. I'm realising now that i shouldn't be afraid to lose him, he should be afraid to lose me. So don't forget your value.
click to expand


I am not being my true self either for fear of him losing interest and I think he can see I'm not being true. He actually likes when I stand up for myself and tell him off for something he's said to me or done.

Posted by Leo188881
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


I do think about him always but just more wondering what he's thinking and because it's sort of a limbo relationship I guess I think about what will be in the future instead of just taking it a day at a time...anxious is my middle name😄

lol aww. Try to be positive. I think he will come around!


I will. As for you, sounds like who will give in first and text but love your attitude for standing your ground.

I feel confident about it, oddly. I think it’s because he hasn’t disappeared and he still shows interest even though it’s indirectly.

I think it’s a good sign your guy still talks to you. Somehow you gotta take it to the next level. Would you ever ask him to be exclusive??


I had many a convo in my head recently about how I would bring up the situation and exclusiveness was in there possibly saying to him that I didn't mind the unofficial side but would want exclusiveness...I feel in a way that the fact that I know he may/May not be with other people makes me lose respect for myself. That I'm an option and not a choice.


Say it to him. After 18 months, you deserve exclusivity at the least.


I know. Something has to be said....


It’s his loss if he doesn’t want you. No more wasting your time on him if that’s the case. You could find someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea


Trying to embrace that attitude...:-)

lol I’m really for this no contact strategy. Before I started this, I felt desperate, depressed, hopeless, frustrated, low, not in control, etc. I was in the same boat. We talked, but a lot less than before and definitely not very lovey dovey. He had been aloof since November, but still here.

Now I feel confident, powerful, valued, etc.

It just shows the guy, hey I know I’m amazing and I don’t need you. (Even though I secretly want you)


November/start of December when mine started going aloof too!!
You know, I really like your strategy. Makes perfect sense. I need to show him that I can live my life (don't need someone) but that I secretly want him.
I'm usually the one to initiate texts/calls so this would be unusual in his eyes for me to not initiate. And if he wants me in my life, he will make the effort otherwise it will prove I'm not what he wants. They do have to make that decision. Can't mess with free will and distance sometimes makes people reassess what is important in their life and what isn't.



Just be careful that distancing yourself isn't giving him the impression that you're no longer interested if that's not what you want. It can easily be misread. He's a guy and guys are stupid so he's going to understand it as you don't like him anymore, not that you want him to chase you more.
click to expand


There is a fine line I guess but even just one day of me not calling/texting is a lot for me. Couldn't not communicate with him for weeks but some distance I think might be good. I think sometimes I can be a bit much in the texting/calling category but it's only because I care so much but I think some guys in general can get overwhelmed by it.
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


I do think about him always but just more wondering what he's thinking and because it's sort of a limbo relationship I guess I think about what will be in the future instead of just taking it a day at a time...anxious is my middle name😄

lol aww. Try to be positive. I think he will come around!


I will. As for you, sounds like who will give in first and text but love your attitude for standing your ground.

I feel confident about it, oddly. I think it’s because he hasn’t disappeared and he still shows interest even though it’s indirectly.

I think it’s a good sign your guy still talks to you. Somehow you gotta take it to the next level. Would you ever ask him to be exclusive??


I had many a convo in my head recently about how I would bring up the situation and exclusiveness was in there possibly saying to him that I didn't mind the unofficial side but would want exclusiveness...I feel in a way that the fact that I know he may/May not be with other people makes me lose respect for myself. That I'm an option and not a choice.


Say it to him. After 18 months, you deserve exclusivity at the least.


I know. Something has to be said....


It’s his loss if he doesn’t want you. No more wasting your time on him if that’s the case. You could find someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea


Trying to embrace that attitude...:-)

lol I’m really for this no contact strategy. Before I started this, I felt desperate, depressed, hopeless, frustrated, low, not in control, etc. I was in the same boat. We talked, but a lot less than before and definitely not very lovey dovey. He had been aloof since November, but still here.

Now I feel confident, powerful, valued, etc.

It just shows the guy, hey I know I’m amazing and I don’t need you. (Even though I secretly want you)


November/start of December when mine started going aloof too!!
You know, I really like your strategy. Makes perfect sense. I need to show him that I can live my life (don't need someone) but that I secretly want him.
I'm usually the one to initiate texts/calls so this would be unusual in his eyes for me to not initiate. And if he wants me in my life, he will make the effort otherwise it will prove I'm not what he wants. They do have to make that decision. Can't mess with free will and distance sometimes makes people reassess what is important in their life and what isn't.



Exactly! Seems like our relationships are almost the exact same!! Lol are you going to try NC? Honestly I think that’s our best bet. Because it’s obvious they care about us. They are still in our lives. But they aren’t 100% sure. Pushing them doesn’t do any good!! But space does. I’m thinking good things for both of us!!
click to expand


Stupid me but what's NC?.
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


Have you heard from your guy yet or are you both still ghosting?


Nope. It’s been two weeks today I believe. Hes still trying to get my attention and he looks at my Snapchat stories. I’ve only posted 2 though because I’m keeping my distance but still living my life ya know what I mean. He looked at one of them within 4 minutes. It made me happy. Yes, breadcrumbs make me happy..... kinda sad. Wish he’d text me.. at this point I think he’s being stubborn. I think we both don’t want to be the first one to text the other.

How long are you going to keep it up before you decide it's finished?

I’ll probably text him after 30 days tbh. Hopefully I’ll make it that long!! But I’d love for him to text me first because I haven’t given up on our relationship. I actually think the time apart has been a good thing.

I haven't heard from my Aqua in 2 days. I'm giving him til Monday. If i haven't heard from him, I'm going to his work to talk to his face and work out what's next. I couldn't handle 2 weeks in limbo. I don't know how you do it.


Do you think going to his work is a good idea?? 2 weeks has been freaking hard. Every day is a struggle. But I’m hoping the saying is true. That men fall in love with you in your absence. Would you consider trying it? This strategy is definitely my last effort before I do move on if he doesn’t come around. I mean let’s face it, they aren’t the best communicators. It’s too hard to get them to talk about feelings and emotional stuff when they don’t want to. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to go to his garage. Believe me, I’ve considered it too!!


If i had to deal with 2 weeks of nothing, after trying with him, I'd be over him and consider it finished. But i would try to fix it first.
He hates surprises but I told him ages ago he can't get rid of me and if he ever tries I'll come to his work and seduce him so he's been warned and I'm executing my right to cash in on that threat.
I don't like games and i would rather talk face to face, so if this is how it has to happen, so be it. I'm too old to waste my time waiting around for something that might not happen. Maybe if i show him that he's worth the effort to me, he wont be so guarded. The worst that will happen is we agree it's not going to work and go our separate ways and go on with our lives.


Do you really think going to his work is really going to get you what you want? It just seems too forced. Not what he wants naturally. My thought process has been- he needs to make the decision on his own to be with me and make the effort to be with me. There’s nothing I can say or do to get him to come to that conclusion. The space apart helps him figure it out and if he comes back to me, it will be the sweetest victory because he did it on his own 😁 if not, then it really wasn’t meant to be. I like this way of breaking up lol. It’s easier on me.


I'm a Leo... grand gestures... yada yada. I can't move on without closure, so I guess this is me going after what I want instead of sitting back waiting for life to happen. Maybe it's too forward, but confronting your fears is how you grow and move forward. I think he's a good enough man and worth taking a chance on, so i will give him a chance.


Makes sense lion lol gotta stay true to yourself. Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
click to expand


Will do!
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


I do think about him always but just more wondering what he's thinking and because it's sort of a limbo relationship I guess I think about what will be in the future instead of just taking it a day at a time...anxious is my middle name😄

lol aww. Try to be positive. I think he will come around!


I will. As for you, sounds like who will give in first and text but love your attitude for standing your ground.

I feel confident about it, oddly. I think it’s because he hasn’t disappeared and he still shows interest even though it’s indirectly.

I think it’s a good sign your guy still talks to you. Somehow you gotta take it to the next level. Would you ever ask him to be exclusive??


I had many a convo in my head recently about how I would bring up the situation and exclusiveness was in there possibly saying to him that I didn't mind the unofficial side but would want exclusiveness...I feel in a way that the fact that I know he may/May not be with other people makes me lose respect for myself. That I'm an option and not a choice.


Say it to him. After 18 months, you deserve exclusivity at the least.


I know. Something has to be said....


It’s his loss if he doesn’t want you. No more wasting your time on him if that’s the case. You could find someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea


Trying to embrace that attitude...:-)

lol I’m really for this no contact strategy. Before I started this, I felt desperate, depressed, hopeless, frustrated, low, not in control, etc. I was in the same boat. We talked, but a lot less than before and definitely not very lovey dovey. He had been aloof since November, but still here.

Now I feel confident, powerful, valued, etc.

It just shows the guy, hey I know I’m amazing and I don’t need you. (Even though I secretly want you)
click to expand


November/start of December when mine started going aloof too!!
You know, I really like your strategy. Makes perfect sense. I need to show him that I can live my life (don't need someone) but that I secretly want him.
I'm usually the one to initiate texts/calls so this would be unusual in his eyes for me to not initiate. And if he wants me in my life, he will make the effort otherwise it will prove I'm not what he wants. They do have to make that decision. Can't mess with free will and distance sometimes makes people reassess what is important in their life and what isn't.

Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


I do think about him always but just more wondering what he's thinking and because it's sort of a limbo relationship I guess I think about what will be in the future instead of just taking it a day at a time...anxious is my middle name😄

lol aww. Try to be positive. I think he will come around!


I will. As for you, sounds like who will give in first and text but love your attitude for standing your ground.

I feel confident about it, oddly. I think it’s because he hasn’t disappeared and he still shows interest even though it’s indirectly.

I think it’s a good sign your guy still talks to you. Somehow you gotta take it to the next level. Would you ever ask him to be exclusive??


I had many a convo in my head recently about how I would bring up the situation and exclusiveness was in there possibly saying to him that I didn't mind the unofficial side but would want exclusiveness...I feel in a way that the fact that I know he may/May not be with other people makes me lose respect for myself. That I'm an option and not a choice.


Say it to him. After 18 months, you deserve exclusivity at the least.


I know. Something has to be said....


It’s his loss if he doesn’t want you. No more wasting your time on him if that’s the case. You could find someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea
click to expand


Trying to embrace that attitude...:-)
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Leo188881
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


Have you heard from your guy yet or are you both still ghosting?


Nope. It’s been two weeks today I believe. Hes still trying to get my attention and he looks at my Snapchat stories. I’ve only posted 2 though because I’m keeping my distance but still living my life ya know what I mean. He looked at one of them within 4 minutes. It made me happy. Yes, breadcrumbs make me happy..... kinda sad. Wish he’d text me.. at this point I think he’s being stubborn. I think we both don’t want to be the first one to text the other.

How long are you going to keep it up before you decide it's finished?

I’ll probably text him after 30 days tbh. Hopefully I’ll make it that long!! But I’d love for him to text me first because I haven’t given up on our relationship. I actually think the time apart has been a good thing.

I haven't heard from my Aqua in 2 days. I'm giving him til Monday. If i haven't heard from him, I'm going to his work to talk to his face and work out what's next. I couldn't handle 2 weeks in limbo. I don't know how you do it.


Do you think going to his work is a good idea?? 2 weeks has been freaking hard. Every day is a struggle. But I’m hoping the saying is true. That men fall in love with you in your absence. Would you consider trying it? This strategy is definitely my last effort before I do move on if he doesn’t come around. I mean let’s face it, they aren’t the best communicators. It’s too hard to get them to talk about feelings and emotional stuff when they don’t want to. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to go to his garage. Believe me, I’ve considered it too!!


If i had to deal with 2 weeks of nothing, after trying with him, I'd be over him and consider it finished. But i would try to fix it first.
He hates surprises but I told him ages ago he can't get rid of me and if he ever tries I'll come to his work and seduce him so he's been warned and I'm executing my right to cash in on that threat.
I don't like games and i would rather talk face to face, so if this is how it has to happen, so be it. I'm too old to waste my time waiting around for something that might not happen. Maybe if i show him that he's worth the effort to me, he wont be so guarded. The worst that will happen is we agree it's not going to work and go our separate ways and go on with our lives.
click to expand


..let me know how it goes if you do go into his work..sending you positiveness and hope it all falls into place for you...nothing but happiness for you is all I wish..
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Gemgal101
Posted by pinkbird03
Do you obsess over him a lot? Because I do.....


I do think about him always but just more wondering what he's thinking and because it's sort of a limbo relationship I guess I think about what will be in the future instead of just taking it a day at a time...anxious is my middle name😄

lol aww. Try to be positive. I think he will come around!


I will. As for you, sounds like who will give in first and text but love your attitude for standing your ground.

I feel confident about it, oddly. I think it’s because he hasn’t disappeared and he still shows interest even though it’s indirectly.

I think it’s a good sign your guy still talks to you. Somehow you gotta take it to the next level. Would you ever ask him to be exclusive??


I had many a convo in my head recently about how I would bring up the situation and exclusiveness was in there possibly saying to him that I didn't mind the unofficial side but would want exclusiveness...I feel in a way that the fact that I know he may/May not be with other people makes me lose respect for myself. That I'm an option and not a choice.


Say it to him. After 18 months, you deserve exclusivity at the least.
click to expand


I know. Something has to be said....