looking back at the relationship...

looking back at the relationship...
do caps like to think back to learn more about and from the relationship?
or do caps like leave the past in the past and move on ahead?

Both.

After a relationship ends, i usually think it over in a detailed way. Cronologically, as i watch a movie. Looking from the outside. Every relationship (not only the romantic ones) is a learning experience for me. Personally i think a relationship is not mainly important so we won't be lonely, or there is a social plan what we should fit. We just decide to take this journey, life, hand in hand together.

I think we can only really let go the past, when we think it through, realise the mistakes what we can't really correct now, learn from them so we won't make them in the future. Sometimes if you are hurt by the other person, especially if you were betrayed it's very difficult to move on. But it was an experience. And it doesn't have to be repeat again, because we learn and hopefully don't make mistakes, or don't fall for facade twice.

In a way, i feel i am getting better and better with every relationship. Not only in the relationship, but i feel that as a person, i imroved a lot compared to how i was years ago. This feeling of moving (forward) with my life is truly inspiring, makes me more open, honest with myself, gives me more courage, and hopefully transforms me into a mature person.

And you? You are a Virgo, right? Share your view too, please.

100% agree 😛

Posted by FlorasSecret
...Share your view too, please.

I'm a Virgo-Libra cusp with Cancer Moon, Scorpio Venus and Leo Rising (is Rising the correct name for it?). Which as I've started to learn is pretty messed-up. 😉 I'm analytical, feel plenty, cover everything with shine except to those that I care for the most.

I look back at relationships, yes. But only those that truly matters to me: i.e. GF-wise. Platonic friends...sometimes. Professional acquantainces...hardly.

I review the things I've done. I have to consciously put myself on the other side to see that point of view. Libra trait? When I do find fault, I try to apply lessons learned on that same relationship.

I'm being specific in this point: at the moment I can't tell if she's receptive to it. It's an inch-at-a-time progress. Only time will tell.

Posted by CappyyLuv30
The only thing we leave in the past is the ex. We RARELY go back to an ex...

Posted by CapGal
...but once I move on, there is no looking back. I only take with me the lessons learned.

click to expand

The only way I can never return is if the other betrays my trust (e.g. cheats on/lies to me). I've gone back before because the relationship was good. I don't see reestabling relationships as "going backwards".

Relationships end due to many reasons. Sometimes it's because of trust. Sometimes, (mis)communication. And sometimes, things just change.

CapGal that's EXACTLY how I felt about my last 'ship...lol 🙂

They have a saying "when a person shows you who they are, believe them"...lol 😛

Posted by FlorasSecret
...And it doesn't have to be repeat again, because we learn and hopefully don't make mistakes, or don't fall for facade twice...

Posted by CappyyLuv30
Caps are thinkers. Period. And hindsight is 20/20 so we tend to stay in rearview mirror mode...

Posted by CapGal
...relive it all, but once I move on, there is no looking back...

click to expand

Ok...a couple more questions:

1. Do you appreciate another person doing this for you? I mean: if your ex-BF suggests things like: "...remember when...we should do that again...", "...we were good then...", "...we used to talk more..." etc...

Personally, I don't like referring to the past. I like to think about and learn from the past. But generally, I don't like talking about or referring to it - unless it is brought up. However, I do like to "act" to refer to the past. E.g. do something we did instead of just "saying it" - if you know what I mean.

2. How far back do you "review" the relationship? For e.g.: if the relationship is 2 years old, would you go back that far?

Now, I assume that this "review" doesn't happen only when the relationship breaks-up but while it's still going strong, right? So, reply in regards to both situations: "constant review" and "review after break-up".

Yes.
I see the how different that is to me.
I like reminiscing but not actually verbally referring to (i.e. bringing-up) the past - good or bad.

This does help.
Thanks, CappyyLuv30.

Wow, my situation is different! We never had a committed relationship but from all the tension and friction you would think we were married for years! After we have our differences no matter how things get blown out of proportion, with a little time we both seem to miss each other tried not communicated for months and when we try to at least have a sensible conversation and then we always realize how much we miss each other.

Posted by CappyyLuv30
The only thing we leave in the past is the ex. We RARELY go back to an ex. Once we're done, we're done.

Wow, my situation is different! We never had a committed relationship but from all the tension and friction you would think we were married for years! After we have our differences no matter how things get blown out of proportion, with a little time we both seem to miss each other tried not communicated for months and when we try to at least have a sensible conversation and then we always realize how much we miss each other.

Posted by CappyyLuv30
The only thing we leave in the past is the ex. We RARELY go back to an ex. Once we're done, we're done.