Need help with my Capricorn boyfriend...

Please answer my post below in rEgards to my dilemma. I do not agree with the answer posted..THIS IS A REAL RELATIONSHIP..WE TALK EVERYDAY AND SEE EACH OTHER QUITE OFTEN!!

The answer posted was as follows:

"This is not a real relationship, just a figment of your imagination where you fill in the blanks with days and months of longing for him and imagined conversations, you will not be able to move on. Ball is in your court."

So, I guess I have imagined the last 4 years— The implication is I have an imaginary boyfriend— Get real. I have a life outside of my relationship. I work full-time, go to graduate school and am raising my son.

Please do not let the comments you perceive as negative bother you. I agree that your thread could've done without that negativity, but some people just need attention, any kind of attention, and will do anything to get it, even at the expense of others.

Brush that off.

Cappywench said: "In the meantime if you move on, you might be heartbroken for a while, but you will have opportunities to meet someone who you can have a more fulfilling relationship with."

* * * * *
That's a concept that most people inside of this scenario aren't able to grasp. It's nothing but the truth but it's very hard to receive when you're all deep up in it.

If I can say one thing it's that no matter what you do or how hard you try, your patience, sincerity, proven dedication to building, doesn't matter... you can not make a man do something he doesn't want to do when he has no feelings for you. Key word is "no" (feelings).

Just be sure that what you're putting in will yield the results you desire. Nothing like wasting time on someone who proves they don't deserve you by ignoring your feelings vs. being honest about not wanting to be with you when they see the lengths you go through. Give yourself a deadline as to how long you will try before you give up. Be realistic.

Best,

MsA

A few things women don't understand about men

If a guy doesn't know what he wants then he generally doesn't want what he's got.

What makes you feel (affection, joy, appreciation) loved may be the very thing that causes him to withdraw from you and spend time on his own. The feelings that make you feel safe and loved could literally push a man away if he has to be in that place all the time.

Your intense emotional displays can make a man feel negative towards you and make him NOT want to commit!

When men avoid, deny, react with anger or play dumb with indirect signals he doesn't know what he wants and isn't on the same page with you. You will soon become the relationship and he will sit back and let you do all the work.

If your man is having an issue with commitment, take emotional ownership and don't resist him, don't make it difficult, take responsibility with helping him take care of that issue. Take complete ownership of the emotional experience the other person is having. The best benefit is to go WITH the person not against them. Be less available with your time and emotions and when he's being difficult, give him the gift of missing you.

Women that are successful in relationships, get out of her own head and gets herself into his shoes and begins to think of the relationship on male based perspective. And if a man is afraid to express and explore his inner world then this could help her understand his perspective on NOT committing or discussing relationship future.

Men take longer to commit b/c they are thinking how a relationship will fit into his life.

sometimes chemistry is the only thing you will have in common with a man and this may not be beneficial for me long term, you can't mistake connection as a relationship, don't mistake the chemistry you feel for a man as a relationship men do go into FOR NOW relationships, the intense physical attraction isn't helping him think long term goals.

Just b/c a man is experienced in creating great physical attraction with a woman doesn't mean he's ready for the emotional aspect of the relationship which means you can find yourself loving a man with low emotional potential, he jus doesn't have the capacity to give emotionally to the relationship to move it forward.

No amount of talking will prevail over a mans INTERNAL DECISION when it comes to him making any sort of a commitment to a woman.

Happy people are PATIENT!

If a man is flaking, not calling, ignoring, being distant and coming back around after a few days or weeks, then he's an immature man and you tell him that distant behavior isn't what I'm looking for in my life--and that's it. Don't go on and on about it. If I leave it at that it will have more of an impact on a man

It's the short assertive, calm approach that has the biggest impact on a man when I'm trying to deal with his issues about growing closer

You can't spring your emotions/feelings on a man and hope he feels the same and will reciprocate..big mistake

If you make a man feel like your needing him you will trigger his stay single response. If a man feels his life would be easier and better by casually dating what do you think he would do?stay single

Even if you have a great connection with a man, you will have to spend a lot of time with him before he's thinking long term but its important that he knows that a commitment is important to you.

You can't MAKE a man feel attracted to you by doting on him, by becoming more and more emotionally available with you feelings for him and just being sweet, caring and a generous woman and if you are being this way then your not getting what makes a man tick, what triggers attraction and long term stuff for him.

Creating and sustaining the excitement of attraction, love and commitment isn't about doing and saying things that create a great situation for YOU, This is called SELFISH LOVE. Don't make this mistake with men or with any part of your life for that matter.

Learn and think about what you can give to another without compromising yourself, dont give him what YOU think he wants or say what you think he wants to hear. You will instantly magnetically become attractive person to be around.

Creating and keeping attraction and a connection with a man doesn't come from selfish love. It comes from behavior, emotions, communication that trigger positive feelings and reactions for him and the sooner you can shift into this mode of thinking instead of the what I can get out of it mode of thinking, everything will become easier with a man

When women make the effort to cook, clean, shop, share feelings and nurture a man they're doing wonderful and generous things. But it doesn't mean the man will become more interested or attracted to her because in reality, the things she's doing are probably things that make him NOT want to commit

So if your man isn't budging then give him space, don't assume your needs are his needs, the very thing that you need from him could be the thing thats keeping him confused and wanting OUT of the relationship, the best thing you can do for YOU is go and date other men (not sleep with but date) get in touch with yourself to REMIND you that your a desirable loving human being, fulfill your own needs to take the pressure OFF of him, don't discuss the relationship at all, ease all the way back, be happy, be okay with his issue and accept full responsibility for your man and his current situation, if you can show him that no matter what your okay with things, not necessarily agree with it but okay with it, this gives him the freedom to come back to you but if you push to talk about it discuss it all the time, he will associate negative feelings with you and more likely not want to be with you and he will remain stagnant and nothing will move forward.

Understanding him and your reactions and responses towards him is the key that can turn things around...give him some respect and allow him the space to figure it out, don't jump at his every call, you have to relax and just go with the flow, ignore him so he can figure it out, if your always there then he has no reason to fret over you being gone, he won't have to work to have you if you pick up the phone every time he calls or seeks you out, let him FEEL his intense need to have you, don't rescue him from it, let him take ownership of his emotions and allow him time to DO something about but if your always picking up the phone, ready and armed to fight the good fight and win him back you will KEEP him running away because your doing HIS PART, DON'T DO OR SAY ANYTHING that will make him feel negative, don't be so boring and predictable by always being around when he needs you to be, go on with your life and stop waiting for him, thats ugh and yucky and no man wants a woman that is like that.

wagner15- leo's are the lucky ones(with cap men)————


what up with this—? anyone know?

He has been calling everyday. Last night he called and texted me twice, however, I didn't pick up the phone. Since I came back from there, I haven't brought up our relationship once. I'm giving him the space he needs. I do my own thing with my friends (I am very independent and always have been). I was married for 10 years and have been divorced for a long time and lately I've had to talk to my ex-husband in regards to issues with our son. I know my BF doesn't really like it but when I tell him I was in the town where my ex lives he gets real quiet!

Thanks for everyones input..it's GREATLY APPRECIATED!!