Of all the Caps you've known/interacted with...

Have you liked most? Why? Why not?

Male/female?

As friends/partners?

I know, there are going to be generalizations in here but I'm just curious.

I get along extremely well with the females and four of the males I know (and some Caps in my family who I think are REALLY good guys). Except for...I think you know who I'm talking about.

Friends with caps? Yes, please. Partners? ehhhh...But I don't know. It was just one. Wasn't a bad seed but emotionally retarded. Waste of time. Shoot me.

I don't have enough experience to say things so I'm going to ask you folks.

And be detailed. I like to read 🙂

"Emotionally retarded..... He is very forward, flirts with alot of women, but seems to always look lonely."

mmmhhmmm, keep going...

"...loner but acts cool in front of everyone except with me. He has a hard time looking me in the eye, shy..."

I think you're on to something...

"Dissappears and then shows up like no biggy. Can be very sweet and funny but also can say some mean things without thinking."

Yup.

I have nothing else to say because YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.

Mine never said or admitted he was a player but from he's told me, he sounded like one. I would jokingly call him a man-whore and I told him I could never be with him because of what he's done in the past. His reply, "I can change that." Hmmm...

And I've noticed that in both male and female caps (that ones I know at least) are RELENTLESS. They won't give up until they have reached you. Not that I look at this in a negative light, because, honestly, I think it's a attractive (maybe because I pull the disappearing act too and find myself hard to reach all of sudden, so I've been told and have come to realize). It makes me feel like they care enough to keep pushing.

But in all honesty, they're the one sign I can't seem to shake. Caps are like drugs (yes, addict :p)

I have one ex cap. I would call him a manic depressive. Mood swings. Not a player though. He never did the disappearing act on me in 4 years and still keeps in touch with me. Miss communication should be his middle name cold yes but only to those he doesn't care about. Lonley but not a loner. But like everything he goes through his moods sometimes he wants to be around people sometimes he doesnt. He is kind, caring and emotional. He only shows it with one person in this world. "ME" I feel good that he trusts me that much to be his complete self with me. He was a ladies man before I met him. He puts on a front alot of the time. Is very guarded shy's away from other girls because he still wants me. Even his best friend tells me that. We broke up 7 months ago and he has still not moved on. His best friend told me that he has never been this way he has always had someone. Now he just simpley doesn;t want anything from anyone else only wants me. I can understand why. But I don't at the same time. Like to be taken care of. No responsibility. Loves to spend money. Very supportive whatever I wanted I got. Doesn;t like to fight that is why we broke up. Has strong oppinions. Workoholic untill he got sick with chrons desiese. Then just was depressed all the time. Now he is still pining for me. I hurt him when I told him about my new someone although if he found someone first I probably would have been hurt to. Total rutine personality. Good memory.

Both of my grandfathers were capricorns. 2 totally different people. My moms dad was kind and caring. Family was always first if he could afford it he would give it all to us. Loved politics was soft always looked after his grandchildren. He raised me for 4 years greatest person I have ever met. Always said if I could find a man half as great as my poppa I would have to marry him. He loved to talk to everyone. Total rutine personality. Very nice all the time and to everyone. Had heart problems but before early retirement he was a workaholic. Good memory

My dads dad on the other hand is very cold. Doesn't care about anyone but himself. When I was a kid he would always take care of me always had his heart open. As I grew up he got colder and more distant. Loves women always has I don't know if he was a cheater but he always gave them good tips!
He likes to fight with my grandmother. After she died he realized how important she was. Midunderstood as well. Total Rutine personalit

"i'm curious why it is a problem for women if a guy is a player. i think all or most men are players between women. i'm not so concerned if they're a player, but if they can settle down to one or not, at least for some period of time."

To even ask that lets us know your not ready for a guy that isn't a player, not all men are players, there are some humble loving men, you know the men that seem goofy or nervous when he ask you out, the sincere guy that comes off boring in the beginning but truly is a gem, well he's more than likely NOT the player type. The men that are smooth and exciting and full of zeal and energy and seem to have ease at making you say yes and leading you were he wants you to go without making it seem that way, well that guy is a player and once he's played the woman ie gotten the panties, he's BORED and has moved on fairly quickly.

players are fun fun fun and if your looking for fun and orgasms go for it but you will never tame a player by giving him what he wants, he will feed a woman attention, affection and great sex but he DOES this with EVERYONE thats why people have problems with players, none seem to know when to stop and the only way they can be stopped is by a womans clever nature, she has to be up on her game THOROUGHLY, she has to have her own identity, have a positive self image and it can't be cracked ever or a player will DEVOUR a womans self esteem.

A player will never make you his priority and if he does, its most likely a false sense of security, if a woman can give a player 3 things, FREEDOM, VARIETY, GOOD SEX or atleast 2 (Freedom and Sex) he may not go seeking out other women to play with but you will never be able to relax around a man that is a player because he will be constantly looking for his next conquest/victim all the time, 24/7....Who wants to live like that...I don't

No not awful nor retarded, your a feeling loving human being but you have to make YOU a priority first and never put love of another person before your own self, you really don't want to do the tit for tat game unless you can really play that game with expertise. The best revenge is happiness! Dating other men, looking good, smiling, being healthy, that tears a man apart especially if he was your world and no longer holds that title, take everything and give him NOTHING until he can appreciate you as a person.

Your feelings are just that feelings and I don't mean this in a harsh disrespectful way but if he's not reciprocating love back then your feelings means nothing, have them, honor them but don't think your stupid for loving someone, yet turn that love for him towards yourself because in the end your all you have. Keep ignoring and making him WORK for you love and affection, if he decides to stick around in the end he will respect and appreciate you and not give you such a hard time for loving him, hopefully he will be ready to receive you and not play so many games.

Check out my profile, read how to catch a player, your guy is an admitted player, well the way to change/tame/capture is to change his patterns, you don't really have to ignore him but with players he has to be on the chase, he has to be the dominant initiator of the relationship, also keep ya legs closed!! Thats key, this is his sole reason for coming around, to conquer you, once your conquered he's out of there, some people will not like what I'm about to say but if he's a player you have persmission to be a cock tease, you have permission to break dates at the last minute, you have permission to do all the things you wouldn't do with a humble, nice guy.

A woman doesn't have to be mean, of course take the pick up artist/players kindness and generosity at face value, enjoy it and feed him little bits of affection, caressing, kisses but don't give him what he truly wants when he thinks he needs it which is sex, give him the incentive to put in work, if he's not the lazy kind he will keep making dates and asking for your time and this will give you both time to get to know one another, if he's the lazy kind or have too many women in the waiting que he will move on to the next woman in waiting.

you have to keep him WANTING and LONGING for you by challenging him, by not giving him everything he wants, by not giving to him at all, I dunno but I have done this, I have actually conquered a player type yet I did all the things I wasn't supposed to do and then some, he was a true player okay, I mean one of the worst kind LOL and its a whole notha world! I mean a whole lotta lotta work!! Its alot of turning the other cheek so to speak, its alot of games and at some point a girl has to get off the roller coaster ride so to speak. Even after he was conquered he was a total waste of time and a pain in my ass so make sure you truly want to conquer a player.

These aren't rules so to speak but this is the language a woman has to speak when dealing with a true player and how you have to approach the issues if thats what a woman wants to do, some may not agree but I learned the hard ass way d:

I know for a fact that a player can be tamed but I won't even begin to tell women all the BS and self sacrificing that comes with that. There is more but thats a little bit of what I can offer.

Just to be clear, I am a firm believer in ignoring bad boys that really are bad boys, I don't believe in rewarding bad behavior by making myself accessible to him but I know this is very hard to do for some..so heres a few suggestions that I hope can help.

every time you allow a man to disappear and come back you are rewarding him for treating you poorly, every time you allow him to text/im/email you back at his leisure (say like days) and you answer him back right away, your rewarding his bad behavior by giving time and attention that he clearly doesn't deserve, its teaching him to be a jerk towards you if you really don't care to ignore him then you have to find clever ways of not allowing him to tie up your time, you can't allow him the time and space to plug his charm into your veins, keep it short, be busy, cut him off before the 5 minute mark, if he ask personal questions like why you can't go out tell him its personal and add some good news in there by telling him that you 2 can go out at another time, your not fully rejecting him but doing just enough to make him intrigued and anxious to want to be with you again.

if he ask personal questions without revealing personal info about himself and he's reluctant then you be reluctant and tell him you don't know him well enough to reveal such things, even when he's pushing for sex, sorry but I don't know you well enough to do this with you just YET, he will insist but in the end after he has time to think he would rather wait and will enjoy the fact that your challenging him, if he calls to get a drink at 9pm at night, cancel and say your hanging with friends that night, never do anything last minute no matter how bad you desire to see him, never give the impression your sitting around the house lonely sad and desperate even if you are because he's hoping you are so you will open your heart and legs and POOF he's gone until he can use you again.

If he wants a date ask him to allow you time to get back with him in a couple days, most players get most of there play and sex during the week...never just hang out on the whim and I mean never b/c this sends a huge message that you have no life and if you don't have a life go and get one, never make him feel he's the center of your universe and you have nothing better to do but wait and worry about him. Emails/Texts/IM's should be considered the same way, keep it short and simple, reply in a few hours or a day or so. Patience is your friend...USE IT!

Bullerina, I know exactly what you mean. I don't care if he gets around while he's single. Just the thought of being one of his flings is what makes me nervous.

I'd rather use womanizer than player. As long as he doesn't cheat after he commits, I don't care. I heard that's what a lot of guys do. Single and mingle, but once committed, that's it.

Come to think of it, it's really hard to say whether my cap was a player/womanizer/ladies man, whatever, because he did receive lots of female attention. So having the opportunity, he took it. But he is a bit of a flirt sometimes.

WhyNot2008 I'm not great at reading charts, there are others that can help you with this one, one that I can think of is prrringleo she's usually over on the leo board I think and/or you can go onto the astrology/relationship board and someone will def help you out.

Cap sun at 28 degrees? That's pretty close to Aquarius if you ask me. Is he a cusp?

Thank God for Tiki!!!!!!

What you posted is pretty much how I acted. I don't want to get into it but I was nodding my head through out.

Is that way he came back trying for sooo long? Hmmm...SCREW HIM.

LOL! AquaSun I'm still learning myself but I truly do want other women to get these players down to a science so they can either avoid them altogether or be able to understand whats going on and dig into there asses and learn why its important for a woman to call him out when he's running game. Calling a player out catches him off gaurd, there are a few other tactics players have that they use on a daily to perfect there skills and most women don't even know that its a game we think its simple flirting, him being interested and wanting a girlfriend but most times its him getting into your emotions and setting it up so he can get what he wants and then walking away and on to the next one, I won't over load you girls with information but I will be around from time to time to help as much as I can d:

*why

And yes, tiki, you are right, Right, RIGHT!!!

Just last Thursday (of June), I walked past him (I had gone to the store, he was in his mothers' restaurant sitting at a table alone) and I acted like he was just another person. Quick glance and I kept right on walking. Didn't even bother to look back. I get to my house and with one foot inside the door, he's at the doorway looking to my direction, just staring. Felt sooo good. I think he called that day as well. On private. He knows I'm not going to pick up if he doesn't *69 the call. And yet, I still didn't get it. 😄

Alright, end rant. I feel better just thinking about it.

Tiki, you know your stuff. But I'm honestly on the fence with this one. I don't care about the cap anymore the way I used to but it's my first time experiencing this. But I keep getting this gut feeling that he truly does care about me. It's one of those feelings where you just absolutely know how the person feels towards you. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that he doesn't care, I can't. I just know.

I know I said in my other post that he could have been a player/ladies man/flirt, etc. but it's no so black and white. That's why I keep going back and forth and can't really give him a label because the situation was sooo complex. The line in the first paragraph in Bullerina's topic that talks about a guy looking at someone with "new eyes" speaks to me. I don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn or being arrogant but I truly feel like that was the situation with me, if I dig deep and go into specifics.

I can't believe I'm admitting this but looking back to my own behavior, I pulled a few tricks here and there (Aqua here), and I take responsibility for it. I can't blame the end result entirely on him (pulling the victim card is easy, I know).

But I've come to realization that I started out as a fling to him but it developed to something more on his part (certain things he said/did would just give me that gut feeling he was feeling something more). But at that point I was moving on. As we became distant, he started to open up and actually starting sounding nicer to me. Shocker.

But playing along doesn't mask the pain. Yeah, it feels like I beat him at his own game but so much time wasted. I think subconsciously, it felt like a challenge presented itself to me to where I had to get this guy to commit. I knew from DAY ONE he got female attention/got around, and yet I wanted to see if I could get him to commit. I ALMOST succeeded.

AquaSun go with your feelings and see were it takes you, again I never advocate playing along and doing the whole tit for tat behavior unless you have skills, I simply point out the the behavior patterns with men that behave poorly and why rewarding them by feeding them more love and attention is fatal to a womans self esteem by allowing him to be a jerk towards her

I'm not giving suggestions about the men that know how to love, I'm talking about men that use certain methods to keep women OFF balance after he's sealed the deal all of a sudden everthing that was right is suddenly wrong, you know the its not you its me kind, the non-initiators,the men that act like they are so emotionally fucked up that they can't seem to give a woman anything yet is always taking, the men who blame his girl for everything from why it didn't work to why I don't wanna talk to you anymore. If a man desires you he will walk through volcanic lava to get to you, to have you, to make you his woman, if he's not doing that then he's not that interested, the chemistry isn't strong enough for him to go further.

you can be an emotional person, no reason to hide and pretend, feel pain, feel hurt but it doesn't have to be broad casted to him, I'm simply giving suggestions on how to RECOGNIZE whats going on. Giving men what they want has never and will never get a man to love you or like you more than the initial attraction he felt for you, the sex can and will keep him around but once you say hey what about me, he's throwing his run'n shoes on and that makes a woman feel awful inside.

being honest to yourself about your own behavior is the first step to creating better relationships with men. Women can be just as needy, clingy and pushy, even when they think they aren't being that way, thats why its important to pay attention to yourself and so much him, shift the obsession to loving him to self love thats were all the answers are.

Yup, he's a cusp so he'll have Aquarian traits. So he's not a full-blown cap.

Hmmm, cheshire, sounds like mine. But I think this applies to anyone. You don't miss it until it's gone but every person under every sign handles/reacts to the situation differently. What you wrote sounds like a Caps way.

I saw the cap today when I stepped out for fresh air. He stopped on the corner and stared for what seemed like an eternity. Like time stood still. I got uncomfortable so I went back in. Nostalgia hit me hard after that 😢

I also believe this is Caps year. I've read of others who dealt with caps on another site, being contacted by them, etc. Two have already contacted me, this cap, who called for 6 months and my former best friend of 7 years (who, btw, is just a day younger than the male cap) who tried to reach me for 2 months.

I spent time with my male cap cousin the other day and first time I've taken notice of his pessimism. He seemed really down and gloomy. He's only 13. He's actually really introverted and serious a lot of the time. I tried to cheer him up but he would barely crack a smile or even make eye contact :/

Um, Ms.Pisces, I think you missed the point of the topic...No offense.