Taurus/Capricorn Office Dilemma

It's been a while since I've posted here...been in a relationship that I thought was solid, until I started a new job and met a Capricorn. It was almost instant attraction. I sometimes think the attraction is mutual, but I tell myself that he probably doesn't because he's married. I don't want to disrupt mine of his personal life and I don't want to start any trouble at the office, but I find myself thinking about him a lot.

He was born New Year's Day, me April 30th.

He tends to be reserved with other people but he's fairly conversant with me. We sometimes have to drive to other locations together and we have some good conversations, but they are all very innocent. We talk about very general things. Also, when we took two clients to lunch, we drove in his vehicle and I sat in the back seat behind him (he was driving). When we parked, I opened the door for myself, but he shut the door for me. After dinner, he opened the back door for me and shut it behind me. Is that a typical courteous Capricorn trait - did I read too much into that?

I've noticed recently that he stops by my office more often than usual to discuss work related things and he calls my extension a couple times of days. When he's traveling, it's not unusual for me to get a call from him....it's all work-related, but I do wonder if he's looking for reasons to call or stop by. When we chat in person, I swear his stares are so intense. It could be just his eyes because they are very striking, but I can't help but wonder if he's undressing me with them! 🙂

I know my thoughts are scattered all over this thread, and I'm sorry. It's been a very long time since I've been confused over a man.

The fact that he's married is what is keeping me from flirting with him, but it's getting very hard.

** I don't want to disrupt mine OR his personal life

Yeah, I would steer clear as well. Many Caps males are natural gentlemen, so I wouldn't read to much into that, but he does seem to be getting very comfortable with you which won't be good for you or him in the long-run. Keep some very clear boundaries there or it has potential to get a bit deeper, then eventually messy.

The prey is being hunted! Juicy stuff

Realistically you aren't posturing yourself in a way that subtly says back off nor setting subtle boundaries, it's open season and you are the target so yeah anything could happen eventually.

He's at a manager level and I support his region as a compliance specialist, so it's a little harder to avoid him altogether. I can't chose to ignore his calls or his visits too much because I don't want to be looked at as being unfriendly, especially if I am reading too much into all of this.

Something that happened today, we work for a company that operates ocean based equipment and we're preparing for Hurricane Irene. About 12 of us at the office were asked to volunteer to be on call at the office in 8 hour shifts. I found out today that he signed up for my shift.

I am very confused and don't want to read too much into anything for fear of hurting my reputation at the office.

I agree with morningsb....don't make any of this real unless of course he comes right out and profess his admiration I'd assume it's harmless and keep it moving.

I don't hear you asking anyone what this man's wife would think about all this? That would be my first priority here. I wouldn't like anyone eyeing off my husband and I am sure you would hit the roof if anyone was lining up yours, if you were married/with a partner!

If he decides to have an office fling with you, doesn't that alert you that if he could treat his wife so disrespectfully, he isn't going to treat you that way either. Well, not after he gets laid enough and needs to move you along.

There are heaps of single Capricorn males out there. Play with one of those.

Oops that should read IS going to treat you that way too :-)

I remember Houstonpeach and typically she is not this way (careless) so I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that it's something going terribly wrong in her life and she's just not thinking straight at the moment.

Hi, Tiki. yes, it's been a while since I've been here.

I think you guys are misconstruing MY intentions here. I'm not making any moves on this person, instead I'm asking you all if 1) I'm reading into his action and 2) about Capricorn men in general.

Nowhere have I said I want to make any moves in the wrong direction. I have said I think about him a lot, so maybe I should not have said that. What I meant by that is I think about his actions, comments, etc a lot.

When I said I don't want to hurt my reputation at office, I meant that I don't want to assume he's flirting with me and confront him, only to find out he was only being him - thus making the office environment unnecessarily tense.

Yeah I had some time to think about how I remember you and I realized that you always appeared level headed and gave great insight and suggestions to other DXP users in the past.

He may be flirting with everyone not just you....Unless it bothers you I suggest ignoring the behavior and not reading too much into it, men still hunt even while married. The charm factor is alluring and some men go by how a woman responds and reacts to the flirting and if you appear eager or respond as if you are completely overwhelmed and happy to hear from him then he'll push the boundary more and more.

Be observant of your own reactions and actions to ensure you are not being a co-conspirator in the process...

Good, thanks, Tiki.

I will admit that my current relationship is not on steady ground, but I do know that I won't act on anything because he's married.

I will also admit that his flirting or whatever he's doing does boost my ego a bit, but of course, who wouldn't say that? 🙂

Not being happy in a relationship along with life issues can make women feel super vulnerable and unfortunately that's when certain types of men smell blood, swoop in and take advantage. If he's flirting with you at work, the fact that he's comfortable doing it gives me the impression that he's done it before with other women or he is acutely aware of who he can target and get away with it.

Or the alternative is that you are super sensitive and searching for something through other men, which means this man could just be super nice and you are perceiving his attention the wrong way.

Escapism is part of what people do when they are looking for a comfortable out, if you're not happy with your current situation you can easily begin to focus in on escaping through work, other men etc.

a little update to those you might be interested...

When I realized that he signed up for the same shift as me for hurricane coverage, I made up something to the boss to get me to switch to another day. I figured being alone with him for a 8 hour shift would be somewhat awkward. I do have an overnight trip planned with him within the next couple days, that's something I cannot get out of because we both have to network with the clients we're meeting with. Since we work for a non-profit company, we have to watch how much money we spend on travel, so the boss asks that we try to combine traveling. If that weren't the case, I'd probably booked a flight rather than driving with him. It's a 4 hour drive one way...

update...
on our trip this morning, we had a talk about each of our relationships. I asked him a lot of questions about his marriage and he's very much in love with his wife, so I've come to the conclusion that he is just a naturally flirtatious guy who opens up doors and is just generally a nice guy to everyone.

pressure off!

2nd day of trip update: Yes, I think he's after friendship...he just is comfortable around me (I've heard Taurus and Capricorn have a magnetic pull?). The business trip was open and friendly. Fast forward to the 2nd day of the trip: He did ask alot of 'get to know you' questions that I answered. We talked about our significant others. He asked me about general things like my favorite kind of food, favorite movie, favorite celebrity crush, etc. One point was a little awkward but I worked through it. We both have iPhones and we got on the topic of music - we seem to have the same taste in music. His car has the capability to plug in the Iphone and play music thru the stereo. He asked if he could plug in my Iphone and I said sure. He said "you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to". So as he was scroling thru my playlists, which is quite varied, he said "Ah, HoustonPeach has a wild and kinky side, nice." I just chuckled, wasn't sure what to say to that. He plugged his Iphone in and played what he said were his 3 favorite songs - all were love songs. I found that odd to play these seductive love songs with a colleague, but I like music, so at the time I didn't think much about it.

He also made a comment that if his wife decided one day that she didn't want to be married anymore that he'd be OK with it. Again, another odd comment, but I chalked all of his talk up to just opening up with me and saw me as being his friend/ally in the workplace.

Agree?