Trouble in paradise...confused bull

So a few months ago I met a cappy on a game app and it's weird but I was instantly drawn to him. We ended up talking and exchanging info and we hit it off so fast. This started out really great he lives in another country but what's to move to America.
So in the last few weeks his communication has gotten really bad. He does play a sport and been training a lot so he claims that's the reason but I personally feel so hurt because I feel like he isn't trying hard enough to make time for me. I've tired to cut ties and offered to just give him space but he says that's not what he wants but I'm so tired of the broken promises and I'm confused if he's really just have a lot going on right now or if he's really just playing games with me. He talks to me like he really wants a future with me and he is SOOO sweet. When we do talk it's like magic but I don't know why he won't just let me go since he clearly can't be consistent enough for me.
I know caps tend to be workaholics so looking for some advice. Does this cap really want me and work is just getting the best of him right now?


Me
Sun-Taurus
Moon-Aquarius
Venus- Aries
Mars-Pisces

Him
Sun-Cap (jan 19th he's a cusp)
Moon-Aquarius
Venus-Pisces
Mars-Sag

Let you go? I never quite got that expression. You can go whenever you want. Just say bye and leave.

A guy who is seriously interested does not act like that, imo - I may be wrong, but I think the red flags are just about everywhere. Is this really a guy you want to spend your future with? Do you think he will suddenly stop breaking promises? He may have a lot going on, but that doesn't justify the broken promises, unless they were really motivated, which it seems they weren't since you feel betrayed by them. Is he only doing just enough to keep you stringed? Does his interest lie in a green card?

I know I may sound harsh here, but these were my honest first thoughts. Hope I'm wrong!

Yea my venus in aries is such a pain in the but sometimes def isn't helping the situation. He he's said stuff like he thinks I'm the one he wants to make me happy that he is here to stay etc he makes it sound like he's really invested. About the green card thing lol yea it crossed my mind to but in a joking way I used to tell my friends I would marry just to give him a green card because I was that infatuated at the time lol but now he's kind of pissing me off so I think I've had a change of heart. And broken promises like promising to talk to me and then he'll end up falling a asleep or whatever so just constantly basically I feel like he isn't making a big effort to make time for me but that's my opinion idk maybe is his eyes he's trying hard. We have a 6 hour time difference between us and he lives in South Africa. I'm just sadden by the thought of letting it go because I really feel we could have been go together especially once he moved but I can't help be just really upset all the time when I don't get to talk to him enough and I'm just really starting to get over it

Have you ever met up in person?

No not yet I was planning on seeing him soon but with how this have been going I'm not sure I want to anymore

Oh wow how do you handle all the fire?! Lol I'm mostly earth but the venus in aries is no joke lol yea it's a very frustrating feeling but when we do talk he's so sweet and it keeps the push and pull going and my VIA makes me run hot and cold anyway so I'm always really upset or madly in love and I can switch within minutes lol it's a struggle loll once I'm emotionally invested in someone it's harder to completely let go but my taurus hates change and loves to hold on to what I alrdy know and am familiar with even through it drives me crazy lol I want to fight for it but I'm not sure If it worth fighting for but I'm getting closer to my breaking point because I just know I don't have the patience to deal with this long term and I need off this emotional roller coaster I feel my emotions way to strongly to have so many negative ones so often due to his lack of attention. Smh I rly want to date a Capricorn though I rly think I'd be good with one I'm also a cap rising and have a lot of cap in my chart so hopefully I can find another one soon.

Yes! I think about the person I like all the time they are always on my mind and you are absolutely right about the effort. That's exactly how I feel if I can make it work why can't you. And because I give and do so much for someone I care about it does raise my expectations a bit and I hate feeling imbalance because I know how easy it is for people to take advantage of my big heart we I get very weary now when I feel that way. The most confusing part of it all is not knowing if it's really work and how he is or he just does t rly care about me enough to make an effort it's really confusing. Because a part of me really does feel like He cares and that's why I haven't walked away yet but I can never be too sure. And as much as I've nagged him about his behavior he just takes it he understands he is to blame always apologizing and he puts up with my mouth lol and he has nothing to gain from it if someone was complaining about me as much as I have to him I would have just stopped talking to them because it'd piss me off lol but he doesn't do that he's been very patient with me and my fiery bullish temper lol

But we will see how it goes I think the less caught up on him I am the better off we will be. Another foolish trait of mine and I'm not sure if it's the VIA I have to thank for that or not lol but I tend to focus solely on one person. When I like someone I REALLY like them and they become my main focus other guys are like background noise I really don't care about them so i don't even have other guys that can really take my mind off him because I've gone out on dates with other guys and ended up thinking I wish it was my cappy the whole time lol

But idk how much longer we'll last I really want to fly him out here for his birthday as a surprise in jan but idk if were gonna make it until then lol so we'll see but I do feel if we did live in the same place I think we would be really good together. I wish I could just kidnap him and keep him here lol

And yes I am a third decan taurus may 16th I have ALOT of cap influence it's the most common in my chart along with my rising sign and like stated I'm third decan idk if it's coincidence Or not but I have a best friend that we consider each other soul sisters the way we connect is a 2nd decan cap so she is a cap with venus sub ruler kinda funny lol but this is the second cap I've rly dated and the first one I had a very strong connection to. We got along great when we were together but communication issues and disappearing acts happen when we weren't I didn't know astrology at the time but looking back it's a big comparison lol

Posted by evalani290
How You Relate to a Partner with Venus in Pisces as a Venus in Aries:

The attraction can be intense at first, but your inherent differences in matters of the heart might get the better of your relationship in the long run. With understanding and patience, however, this partnership can be very rewarding.

You are more than likely the one to take the lead in this relationship. Your partner can be somewhat shy and unsure with someone new, but very charming indeed. He or she has a dreamy quality that can be very enticing. But this very quality that hooks your interest in your partner in the first place, might get you impatient once the novelty fades away!

Your partner's elusiveness and downright evasiveness stands in stark contrast to your style of expressing love—so much so that it could seem completely alien to you. You are direct and forthright with your partners, and usually appreciate the same in others.
Your partner doesn't always seem very clear, and this confuses you.

As well, you should know that your lover enjoys understatement in romance. Your bluntness may be appreciated by less sensitive souls, but this one can find it difficult to understand.

LOL omg you hit the nail right on the head! It was a very intense attraction even from so far apart we both felt a connection and draw to each other. I do take a bit of lead because I don't hold back if I want you I make that clear if I wanna talk to you I'll call etc I don't play those mind games. He is EXTREMELY charming gets me every time I'm mad at him! And yes sometimes I do hurt his feelings without think it's a big deal he's more sensitive then I am. That was so good thanks for sharing

Posted by champranger
You have a Natal Mercury retrograde in Taurus? I have a Natal Mercury in Taurus. I wonder how are the two placements similar and different?

Yea I don't know that much yet still learning not sure what any of that means lol

Posted by TaurusCap323

Posted by evalani290
How You Relate to a Partner with Venus in Pisces as a Venus in Aries:

The attraction can be intense at first, but your inherent differences in matters of the heart might get the better of your relationship in the long run. With understanding and patience, however, this partnership can be very rewarding.

You are more than likely the one to take the lead in this relationship. Your partner can be somewhat shy and unsure with someone new, but very charming indeed. He or she has a dreamy quality that can be very enticing. But this very quality that hooks your interest in your partner in the first place, might get you impatient once the novelty fades away!

Your partner's elusiveness and downright evasiveness stands in stark contrast to your style of expressing love—so much so that it could seem completely alien to you. You are direct and forthright with your partners, and usually appreciate the same in others.
Your partner doesn't always seem very clear, and this confuses you.

As well, you should know that your lover enjoys understatement in romance. Your bluntness may be appreciated by less sensitive souls, but this one can find it difficult to understand.

LOL omg you hit the nail right on the head! It was a very intense attraction even from so far apart we both felt a connection and draw to each other. I do take a bit of lead because I don't hold back if I want you I make that clear if I wanna talk to you I'll call etc I don't play those mind games. He is EXTREMELY charming gets me every time I'm mad at him! And yes sometimes I do hurt his feelings without think it's a big deal he's more sensitive then I am. That was so good thanks for sharing

click to expand

I don't understand attraction and connection with someone you've never met. It's not real until you meet in person.

Be very careful you're not building him up in your head and falling for a fantasy of him.

Posted by truecap

Posted by TaurusCap323

Posted by evalani290
How You Relate to a Partner with Venus in Pisces as a Venus in Aries:

The attraction can be intense at first, but your inherent differences in matters of the heart might get the better of your relationship in the long run. With understanding and patience, however, this partnership can be very rewarding.

You are more than likely the one to take the lead in this relationship. Your partner can be somewhat shy and unsure with someone new, but very charming indeed. He or she has a dreamy quality that can be very enticing. But this very quality that hooks your interest in your partner in the first place, might get you impatient once the novelty fades away!

Your partner's elusiveness and downright evasiveness stands in stark contrast to your style of expressing love—so much so that it could seem completely alien to you. You are direct and forthright with your partners, and usually appreciate the same in others.
Your partner doesn't always seem very clear, and this confuses you.

As well, you should know that your lover enjoys understatement in romance. Your bluntness may be appreciated by less sensitive souls, but this one can find it difficult to understand.

LOL omg you hit the nail right on the head! It was a very intense attraction even from so far apart we both felt a connection and draw to each other. I do take a bit of lead because I don't hold back if I want you I make that clear if I wanna talk to you I'll call etc I don't play those mind games. He is EXTREMELY charming gets me every time I'm mad at him! And yes sometimes I do hurt his feelings without think it's a big deal he's more sensitive then I am. That was so good thanks for sharing

I don't understand attraction and connection with someone you've never met. It's not real until you meet in person.

Be very careful you're not building him up in your head and falling for a fantasy of him.

click to expand

^^^Agreed 100%

@evalani
Having agreed to the statement you are commenting on, I'm gonna dip my nose into this.

For me, the key phrase is "It's not real until you meet in person." A certain amount of attracton, sure, but the real thing is, literally and figuratively speaking, miles away.

Trust me I was like that too I didn't understand how I liked him so much and I never seen him before but honestly the connection came from us just being on the same wavelength. We seem to have similar goals be interested in same things we want the same things out of life etc so the connection definitely was mental and cause me to really want to explore it so I really want to meet him in person. Because based off just talking conversations I think that we would get along really well. I Understand there are certain things that you can only tell in person and I know when that time comes it'll either strengthen the connection or weaken it and I'm just ready for that moment to happen because I do feel that there is something here worth exploring. And the fact that I think he is extremely attractive doesn't hurt either lol I think my VIA is a little shallow and causes me to experience physical attraction very strongly as if I am instantly infatuated lol

Attraction can absolutely be real without meeting people do it everyday especially in this day and age with so many people meeting online. Connection can form in many ways and honestly mental connection does not require physical interaction. Physical is just another aspect and when the two come together is the strongest. When your talking to know someone a lot of that is conversation and you don't have to be face to face for that to take place

Hmm. Not long ago you were practically over him and now you are ready for the moment when you meet because you feel that there is something there to explore. What happened?

Posted by evalani290
@TaurusCap323:

I don't think that he's playing games with you or there are any problems other than the fact that your styles of communication and approaching love differ and that can be a problem on a long distance relationship.
You haven't meet in person yet so you still don't know how you might interact with one another,the chemistry you have while being together,your dynamic as a couple.

That can lead to assuming,misunderstandings and misinterpretation.

Your Venus in Aries is a strong placement and it's damaging if you can't control it,it's ruled by Mars and it doesn't know "patience,tolerance and taking things slow". You go to war with what Mars can offer and you win,you're not at war though and you don't have nothing to conquer.
You're a Taurus,you are ruled by Venus,the planet of love,beauty and growth,balance and peace. Your Sun sign is what you struggle to become,what you need to achieve,that is where you will see your true self and constant progress,in your Sun sign.
Venus is the part where it shows how you approach love but it's just a part,it's not progressive as your Sun sign so you can control it because it's already "formed".
You would go better with another Venus in fire or in air but you wouldn't learn to override this side of yours and you'll always be in constant contradiction,mostly because of the Taurus in you,not because of other people signs or placements.

Thank you for this! It is something I want to work on those placements are hard because I do feel in constant contradiction within my emotions a lot and I need to tame my VIA

Posted by HappyCapper
Hmm. Not long ago you were practically over him and now you are ready for the moment when you meet because you feel that there is something there to explore. What happened?

Well for one that wouldn't be too far fetched for me I go jot and cold often I stated that lol but I wasn't saying it's for sure going to happen because yes I am kinda getting annoyed so idk if we will make it to get to meet but I am trying because I feel there is something worth exploring if I didn't feel there was something to explore I'd just leave it alone now but I'm trying instead

Should add that being a cap with a sag venus I hear you regarding the fighting earth sun and fire venus. Oh yes.

Yea it rly is a struggle I don't think people that don't have that type of placement understand and especially in my place I mean I have a fixed earth and cardinal fire so it's a big contrast to deal with it's a constant battle trying to balance myself. And via especially for a girl seeing as it's a masculine energy I feel ppl without a real understanding of VIA or have it themselves just rly don't understand how we feel

Posted by TaurusCap323

Posted by HappyCapper
Hmm. Not long ago you were practically over him and now you are ready for the moment when you meet because you feel that there is something there to explore. What happened?

Well for one that wouldn't be too far fetched for me I go jot and cold often I stated that lol but I wasn't saying it's for sure going to happen because yes I am kinda getting annoyed so idk if we will make it to get to meet but I am trying because I feel there is something worth exploring if I didn't feel there was something to explore I'd just leave it alone now but I'm trying instead

click to expand

Well, all I can do is tell you what my gut feeling is telling me and you have already heard that, so all I can do now is to sincerely wish you all the best and hope that I am wrong.

Posted by TaurusCap323
Attraction can absolutely be real without meeting people do it everyday especially in this day and age with so many people meeting online. Connection can form in many ways and honestly mental connection does not require physical interaction. Physical is just another aspect and when the two come together is the strongest. When your talking to know someone a lot of that is conversation and you don't have to be face to face for that to take place

Just beware, is all I'm saying. Lots of people get screwed over by people they met on line and thought they "had a connection with".

Posted by TaurusCap323
Yea it rly is a struggle I don't think people that don't have that type of placement understand and especially in my place I mean I have a fixed earth and cardinal fire so it's a big contrast to deal with it's a constant battle trying to balance myself. And via especially for a girl seeing as it's a masculine energy I feel ppl without a real understanding of VIA or have it themselves just rly don't understand how we feel

Even though I have serious issues with my cap and sag combo, I honestly think it would be even worse with your combo. I really don't envy you in that.

Posted by evalani290
@Truecap:

Similar patterns and diverse associations with that person in cause can trigger and release dopamine,a feeling of excitement,that signals the brain and the pleasure centeres. From there it's easy to make a connection and you become instant attracted to that person even if you don't see it in person.
The people that "feed" this feeling more often than others are also the "risk takers" and usually the ones that don't care that much for self control.

It's a psychological cause and effect,the mind doesn't recognize those signals as "danger",they just transmit it to the brain,the pleasure centers take control and from there it forms a "feeling",feelings.

That's why there are people that can't explain their attraction to a person that's not right for them. It takes self control to fight feelings that your brain aliments constantly.

And that's even harder for a person who's more impulsive than observant.

I can't disagree with what you're saying.

I just don't do "risk taking" and "impulsive" very well. Those types of people tend to make me leery.

Posted by HappyCapper

Posted by TaurusCap323
Yea it rly is a struggle I don't think people that don't have that type of placement understand and especially in my place I mean I have a fixed earth and cardinal fire so it's a big contrast to deal with it's a constant battle trying to balance myself. And via especially for a girl seeing as it's a masculine energy I feel ppl without a real understanding of VIA or have it themselves just rly don't understand how we feel

Even though I have serious issues with my cap and sag combo, I honestly think it would be even worse with your combo. I really don't envy you in that.

click to expand

Lol he's I'm sure it is worst it's a struggle everyday trust me lol my friends think I'm crazy and I'm like blame the stars lol they don't understand my issues lol

Posted by HappyCapper

Posted by TaurusCap323

Posted by HappyCapper
Hmm. Not long ago you were practically over him and now you are ready for the moment when you meet because you feel that there is something there to explore. What happened?

Well for one that wouldn't be too far fetched for me I go jot and cold often I stated that lol but I wasn't saying it's for sure going to happen because yes I am kinda getting annoyed so idk if we will make it to get to meet but I am trying because I feel there is something worth exploring if I didn't feel there was something to explore I'd just leave it alone now but I'm trying instead

Well, all I can do is tell you what my gut feeling is telling me and you have already heard that, so all I can do now is to sincerely wish you all the best and hope that I am wrong.

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Thanks...and honestly if it were about a green card he should play he's cards a little better then this because lately he's been making me mad lol I'm not really worried about that though he doesn't give me that vibe and he's never brought anything like that up to me and he's not like desperate for me so idk. But I have thought of that as well so no worries I'm aware of the possibility

Posted by truecap

Posted by TaurusCap323
Attraction can absolutely be real without meeting people do it everyday especially in this day and age with so many people meeting online. Connection can form in many ways and honestly mental connection does not require physical interaction. Physical is just another aspect and when the two come together is the strongest. When your talking to know someone a lot of that is conversation and you don't have to be face to face for that to take place

Just beware, is all I'm saying. Lots of people get screwed over by people they met on line and thought they "had a connection with".

click to expand

You're absolutely right but I also don't live in fear. At the end of the day anyone can screw you over! Whether you seen them in person or known them for years. You never really know and anyone is capable of anything. So yes be cautious and be aware but I can't live like everyone is always out to get me when would I ever just have peace and enjoy a situation

Posted by TaurusCap323
Thanks...and honestly if it were about a green card he should play he's cards a little better then this because lately he's been making me mad lol I'm not really worried about that though he doesn't give me that vibe and he's never brought anything like that up to me and he's not like desperate for me so idk. But I have thought of that as well so no worries I'm aware of the possibility

People can only keep that mask on for so long. That green card was only one of the possible issues, though. My main problem is his behaviour towards you. How interested is a guy who behaves that nonchalant towards you...and not just once or twice? Yes, I'm worried. But, as said, I really hope I'm wrong and that you will be very happy together.

...or seperately.

Posted by HappyCapper

Posted by TaurusCap323
Thanks...and honestly if it were about a green card he should play he's cards a little better then this because lately he's been making me mad lol I'm not really worried about that though he doesn't give me that vibe and he's never brought anything like that up to me and he's not like desperate for me so idk. But I have thought of that as well so no worries I'm aware of the possibility

People can only keep that mask on for so long. That green card was only one of the possible issues, though. My main problem is his behaviour towards you. How interested is a guy who behaves that nonchalant towards you...and not just once or twice? Yes, I'm worried. But, as said, I really hope I'm wrong and that you will be very happy together.

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Yea very true! Bit luckily I'm really not as emotionally invested as I was before because he just really pisses me off lol the confusion literally is the only thing keeping him on this string because I just can't totally read him but I really am fading out. I know myself and he won't last much longer I'm just going to ride it out lol my taurus side is starting to kick in. Once my VIA comes in like a racing bourse with all this infatuation and lust etc my taurus side with analyze it and if it does make the cut I'm over it. That's my issue my VIA and taurus sun want very different things so I go through phases with guys often and once my VIA settles they never make the cut and I realize I don't like them anymore lol because they aren't stable and safe like my taurus likes. My VIA is all about excitement passion the chase and infatuation but that can only last so long as well if they can't satisfy my other elements I feel that and eventually will cut them off

I really want to date another taurus sun with VIA I think that would be quite a ride lol. My first love was a Pisces sun with VIA we had a crazy passionate epic love had he not got into drugs we would have gotten married and the best relationship I've had someone I considered my soulmate was a fellow taurus unfortunately he is no longer here but our connection was intense really like my best friend and lover

Posted by TaurusCap323
I really want to date another taurus sun with VIA I think that would be quite a ride lol. My first love was a Pisces sun with VIA we had a crazy passionate epic love had he not got into drugs we would have gotten married and the best relationship I've had someone I considered my soulmate was a fellow taurus unfortunately he is no longer here but our connection was intense really like my best friend and lover

So so sory you lost him! 😢

Two VIA together sounds...exciting... 😉

Posted by TaurusCap323

Posted by HappyCapper

Posted by TaurusCap323
Thanks...and honestly if it were about a green card he should play he's cards a little better then this because lately he's been making me mad lol I'm not really worried about that though he doesn't give me that vibe and he's never brought anything like that up to me and he's not like desperate for me so idk. But I have thought of that as well so no worries I'm aware of the possibility

People can only keep that mask on for so long. That green card was only one of the possible issues, though. My main problem is his behaviour towards you. How interested is a guy who behaves that nonchalant towards you...and not just once or twice? Yes, I'm worried. But, as said, I really hope I'm wrong and that you will be very happy together.

Yea very true! Bit luckily I'm really not as emotionally invested as I was before because he just really pisses me off lol the confusion literally is the only thing keeping him on this string because I just can't totally read him but I really am fading out. I know myself and he won't last much longer I'm just going to ride it out lol my taurus side is starting to kick in. Once my VIA comes in like a racing bourse with all this infatuation and lust etc my taurus side with analyze it and if it does make the cut I'm over it. That's my issue my VIA and taurus sun want very different things so I go through phases with guys often and once my VIA settles they never make the cut and I realize I don't like them anymore lol because they aren't stable and safe like my taurus likes. My VIA is all about excitement passion the chase and infatuation but that can only last so long as well if they can't satisfy my other elements I feel that and eventually will cut them off

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I'm sure you'll do what's best for you...as long as you think everything through first. 🙂