V-Guy and Cappy Gal just ain't workin out = (

IT ain't happenin = (

The Cappy gal I've been seeing is just too much into WORK! She works 6 days a week, not because she NEEDs to, but because she WANTs to. I offered several times to come over any time she asked to help her with yard work, mowing the lawn etc... so that her chores would be done sooner and we could spend the extra time together... but no call EVER from her. She'd rather work alone than have me over to help. (and spend time with me)

She says she digs me. She says she's attracted to me. She says she thinks I'm sexy... says I'm a good kisser.... and I haven't seen her since Aug, 26th..........

I learned the last email she sent that she's going thru the "change". She's 52 (I'm 46) Is that why she's not interested in sex? After four dates, the last two being several hours of French kissing for hours at a time... still no sex and when I ask her why she says only... "I don't know why I'm not interested yet". She keeps saying I'm PUSHING her too much. and I'm RUSHING her... sigh... I think it's not going to happen. too bad too as she's really hot for a 52 YO.

Am I right? Maybe friends is all we'll ever be and I should just start looking for another GF........

>perhaps you need to find her right button, one thing for sure that is not her lips

I took her off my lap once, set her down, kneeled in between her legs and softly nuzzled her vulva thru her pants... looked up at her... her eyes were closed, and no sound from her. I did this for several minutes then started to take her pants down and she says stop... not ready for that yet. So I stop and we go back to french kissing.

The next day I told her that I cannot continue kissing like that if it doesn't lead to sex... it's just TOO intimate for me. She says ok... then I say I don't want to kiss anymore until she makes up her mind what she wants to do... she says ok. And that's where we are now.

I've backed off totally and when we talk, it's only about horses, horse training, her work etc...

Then I get an email yesterday and she asks "you haven't been writing much lately... is it something I said? Did?"

Here's an insight into my mind... maybe the V-Guy mind... I will ignore her question totally. Because to answer honestly, would just get the responce "you're pushing me, you're rushing me". So I won't answer that question at all, and will just stick to talking about horses and work and nothing intimate.

My guess is, she no longer has any desire for sex because of the menopause, and that's the reason she says "I don't know what I'm waiting for".

So I know it aint' gonna happen for us sexually... I'm just venting about it really. IT's stupid I know... I just need to let it go and just be a friend, and that's actually what I've been doing I think.... so why does she keep asking questions that push the boundries of friendship, but then cut me off when I bring up the subject of sex?

I think she doesn't know WHAT she wants. Just like she complains about having to work so much all the time, then on her off days works out in her yard till dark, and sometimes puts on a headlamp and works after dark. Yet refuses my help to get that work done sooner so we could spend the spare time together.

She's playing a game with me, but not on purpose... I think she simply doesn't realize it. And if I call her on it... she'll tell me I'm rushing her again.

FC~ You should back out of this one before you too wrapped up in it and it's even harder to let go. Who wants a 52 yr. old that isn't into sex? Cap. women can be frigid and hard to crack sexually even when younger, and this woman sounds like a glacier! As for not having seen her since 8/26, that sounds like a typical Cap. withdrawal.

I tell ya, I've had it w/ Caps- women included! I've got a girl friend who goes MIA and is impossible to get together with. She'll call me at work and want to catch up on the phone yet won't commit to a plan of getting together. I don't need friends like that- dealing with men of this variety is bad enough!

Okay, well ...

Being a cappy girl myself, I've got to come in to our defense here. Yes, are hard workers and when there is something important that needs to be done ... we must get that done first or it will drive us crazy.

Yeah we do disappear ... I can't lie about that. Usually, I only disappear if I'm feeling pressure and I need to regroup. Now, when it comes to a man ... I don't disappear at all. The only time I may start distancing myself is if I feel that he wants to "ride" me instead of getting to know me.

If I feel the relationship isn't going any where, I communicate this ... I wouldn't just walk away. BUT, if the guy doesn't listen to me then I may have to take other precautions to assure he gets the point.

"she's really hot for a 52 YO" (it's been said that Caps get better looking with age - I'm always told over the years that I look younger than I really am - I guess all that work pays off in more ways than one!) I can relate to how you feel as well as how she feels as well - some Caps I've met have been more likely to wanna have fun then work but then there's some I've met more like myself that are like this woman (everyone @ work knows I'm a workaholic - but I too don't mind working either) my last resort would probably be asking her to hang out at a bar - the thing about us Caps is that some of us have a harder time knowing how to relax (esp after working for so long it becomes this vicious cycle of responsibility for us that makes it hard for us to break - @ least in my own personal experiances - I'm sure she does mean well but work for most Caps is usually laborous and physical rather than something easygoing - which may be causing her to be too tired to do much of anything - not that she doesn't wanna hang out with you - she just may find it hard to take a break from the cycle because her workaholicism may be getting the best of her - but usually when I wanna relax I just go to a bar or have a couple drinks and that usually does it for me - Virgos are good at helping the Cap relax - but most Caps run on a schedule so it may be that she just needs to know ahead of time when to hang out long enough to prepare for the get together so they know what they have to get done beforehand in order to feel confident enough in being able to take time off without worry (she may worry alot - I know I do but my moon sign is Virgo whom is also known for having this trait 😛) I only hope for the best between you both though and hope things look up in the near future! 🙂

Same here, people say I look like I'm 19 LOL!!!!! I wonder how long that's going to last!

im gonna be real abstract here, Ferg... this sounds like a lot of 'my side/her side'. try to break down that boundary and get on the same side... try to get her to open up about what's going on. forget sex for a moment and get to whats causing her to not know what she wants. menopause, work, and you know... you're right, she's probably no idiot and can tell you really wanna hit it and probably feels the pressure to perform... put all that together and i could see myself shutting down sexually. i wouldn't be surprised that thats part of whats bothering her, if not all of it. anyways, the point is... you can play games you dont even know you're playing and get results you already knew you didnt want, or you could just try to get her to open up. thinking about it might help her discover and figure things out about whats going on with her. then who knows, maybe she'll become comfortable with herself and YOU to *ehem* 'open up'. just dont get carried away looking forward to that end goal! cap women need emotional intimacy and connection before they can make that bodily connection. re-connect, baby.

hope that makes sense

and ya... people said i looked in my 20s when i was in my late teens and now think im about 20 or younger now that i'm approaching my mid 20s. i dont mind it... my inner child runs the show half the time anyways, maybe thats why people think i'm younger than i am. 😛