Katiefly49
@Katiefly49
16 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 39 · Topics: 2
Virgo girl facing the typical dilemma with cappy
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thank you quietstorm
the thing is now that he has said to me that he cannot give me what i want at the moment, he said that this is sad but thats the situation he thinks.
so i am not sure if this is a break up or not, i know, i am all confused and cannot even figure this out...
the thing is now that he has said to me that he cannot give me what i want at the moment, he said that this is sad but thats the situation he thinks.
so i am not sure if this is a break up or not, i know, i am all confused and cannot even figure this out...
the frustration is that i dont know the intention behind this slow to commit..
1) he could be taking things slowly per his past experience/his persinality which i kind of guess it's the case here. (this is not the first time i went about on this topic, last time we were talking about it in person and he got bit angry and said something like why cannot i just chill and enjoy the time together, dont try and label every stage and things will work out itself in the end etc..
2) he is just on the page to commit to anyone really, i have been there before - the phrase, my head is not settled and i cannot promise anyone anything.
if it's 1, i dont mind taking things light and fun for now
if it's 2, then i will defo move on
so u see, i wish things can be as cleared cut as above, but the truth is that i cannot never find out.
deep down, i know no one can make the decision apart from myself, i guess by writing these things down is also a process for myself to clear my mind and hopefully bounce off some new angles to understand my cappy...
appreciate your help 🙂
1) he could be taking things slowly per his past experience/his persinality which i kind of guess it's the case here. (this is not the first time i went about on this topic, last time we were talking about it in person and he got bit angry and said something like why cannot i just chill and enjoy the time together, dont try and label every stage and things will work out itself in the end etc..
2) he is just on the page to commit to anyone really, i have been there before - the phrase, my head is not settled and i cannot promise anyone anything.
if it's 1, i dont mind taking things light and fun for now
if it's 2, then i will defo move on
so u see, i wish things can be as cleared cut as above, but the truth is that i cannot never find out.
deep down, i know no one can make the decision apart from myself, i guess by writing these things down is also a process for myself to clear my mind and hopefully bounce off some new angles to understand my cappy...
appreciate your help 🙂
i know, what a mistake i made there!
to tell you the truth, i have always been the passive one in this relationship, he has always control the pass how things progress until now..lol.. honestly, if things can go back nicely with him again, then i wont even dare to take the control anymore, i suck! lol let him do all the work probably work out a lot better than the other way around
i have not contacted since, and i think it has done me some good to be more clam and to collect perspectives on things with him.
man, what a silly needy girl i have been, i wasnt like this with him in the beginning, and he always complimented my confidence... lol i know, you wont belive me for saying that. 😄
to tell you the truth, i have always been the passive one in this relationship, he has always control the pass how things progress until now..lol.. honestly, if things can go back nicely with him again, then i wont even dare to take the control anymore, i suck! lol let him do all the work probably work out a lot better than the other way around
i have not contacted since, and i think it has done me some good to be more clam and to collect perspectives on things with him.
man, what a silly needy girl i have been, i wasnt like this with him in the beginning, and he always complimented my confidence... lol i know, you wont belive me for saying that. 😄
yeah you raised a good point there...
this is why i asked for assurance in the first place, becasue i think about things like how you just did! 4 months, no friends meetings, it get to be something...
but at the end of the day, when i calmed down, i dont think that he has never had that intention to make me more based on the things we talked, how much he cared for me etc
if he just wanted sex, then there were lots of things that he needed to do but he did and lots of them..
you see, there is another danger to put your story out there on a forum, because it's very easy for someone to conclude on your siutation and that may affect you in a way..
but thanks for your comments anyway, it's always to prepare for the worst 😉
this is why i asked for assurance in the first place, becasue i think about things like how you just did! 4 months, no friends meetings, it get to be something...
but at the end of the day, when i calmed down, i dont think that he has never had that intention to make me more based on the things we talked, how much he cared for me etc
if he just wanted sex, then there were lots of things that he needed to do but he did and lots of them..
you see, there is another danger to put your story out there on a forum, because it's very easy for someone to conclude on your siutation and that may affect you in a way..
but thanks for your comments anyway, it's always to prepare for the worst 😉
to cappyluv, the world would be a lot more easier if this is how things work - it could be just THAT desisive.. i hope you know what i mean, openminded, it's what i have learnt in life, because there are set of rules how the world should be run/neither how people would behave... otherwise the world is dead boring, because you just can predict so many things...
😉
😉
Posted by tooseriouslol
i don't mean to be emotionally cold. it's very attractive when a person is very free and generous with emotions but also cool enough to not make a sound during thinking time. that speaks confidence. this would reenforce the fact that you are also part of the two making your decision not just him to keep him on his toes a bit 😉.
good luck 🙂
you dont seem to be emotionally cold at all... i mean you didnt know about my relationship with him apart from what i wrote, and it's very easy to jump on that conclusion honestly, i get that a lot from girl friends too lol
I am free with my emotions ONCE i decide to open my heart to anyone and trust me - he had to do lots of work on me before i eventually started to let him know how i honestly feel towards him. I am a girl who is friendly and you always feel that i keep that distance from you, and that drove him nuts in the beginning! lol i didnt want to play game, i am just slow to accept anyone, but once i accepted them, they will feel loved by me - i dont know it works against me or not, but thats who i am, and i will find someone who likes that too.
cappy and virgo are quite similar people to be honest, i didnt know this before i met him, but now i can relate myself to him on so many levels, it's really strange, sometimes he doesnt have to even finish the sentence, then i just nod to him. i think he likes that too.
but cappy is not very good with communicating his feelings at this stage which is very different from virgos, we love to make sure that the people we care know they are loved and we are proud of making them feeling taken care of.
i dont know, i will try to keep my head cool, not to doubt about his feelings for me, neither to exaggerate his feelings for me. lets see what moves he would make next..
Posted by tooseriouslol
i happened to have opposite experiences with virgos. regardless the signs, i made a promise to myself to never deal with an emotoinal immature/fearful person again. ppl should deal with ppl who are emtoinally compatible or at a similar maturity level to keep them sane lol.
yeah, it's a good process to write down your thoughts, it clears your own head even without anyone giving advice, but then again, it's always great to hear different opinions, it widens your horizons i believe..
I am sorry to hear that you happened to have met an emotional unavailable virgo in the past. Our past make who we are, and i believe that that experience for you is always a good experience to learn and find out who you are and what you want in life...and i totally agree with you on being on the same level emotionally, i guess thats what they call it - both on the same page in life...
good day to you too
Yikes. Now I see what tiki and PD were saying. Lol.
Katiefly49 - Can I ask you a question, when you attempted to have conversations with him about being in a commited relationship and he would answer with, "just let things happen."; why didnt you just leave it alone and allow things to happen? Why did you continue to bring the issue up? IF you were unhappy enough to continue to bring it up, what kept you there? I am asking these questions because I myself am trying to gain a better understandng of these crazy Cap men. Lol.
Katiefly49 - Can I ask you a question, when you attempted to have conversations with him about being in a commited relationship and he would answer with, "just let things happen."; why didnt you just leave it alone and allow things to happen? Why did you continue to bring the issue up? IF you were unhappy enough to continue to bring it up, what kept you there? I am asking these questions because I myself am trying to gain a better understandng of these crazy Cap men. Lol.
Posted by ScorpieLove25
why didnt you just leave it alone and allow things to happen? Why did you continue to bring the issue up? IF you were unhappy enough to continue to bring it up, what kept you there? I am asking these questions because I myself am trying to gain a better understandng of these crazy Cap men. Lol.
lol why i didnt....emmmm good question
because we all want to have what we want, e.g. you have a chanel handbag doesnt stop you wanting to have another one! lol does that explain your question?
i mean, i was happy with him all the time, but it doesnt stop me wanting more, right?
hands on my heart, he has never made me unhappy, otherwise i would not bother typing my story out here right now, because i would have moved on two weeks ago if he is not worth the wait...
bettter understanding? i dont think they are crazy for a start! lol quite opposite in fact.
i am starting to accept people deal with emotions differently, and thats the way how he deals with his!
hope this helps?
Hi Katiefly,
I don't know enough about a capricorn man to help you but I'm in the same boat and it sucks!!! I guess I wish I wasn't such an emotional cancer at times then I would learn to keep my mouth shut.
Hey ho x
I don't know enough about a capricorn man to help you but I'm in the same boat and it sucks!!! I guess I wish I wasn't such an emotional cancer at times then I would learn to keep my mouth shut.
Hey ho x
Posted by honeywawa
Hi Katiefly,
I don't know enough about a capricorn man to help you but I'm in the same boat and it sucks!!! I guess I wish I wasn't such an emotional cancer at times then I would learn to keep my mouth shut.
Hey ho x
hey! thanks for the msg!
everything happens for a reason, just look at the positive side and keep your heart happy, you never know if what happened with your cappy now would not actually benefit you in the longer run! dont shoot yourself down ! and dont let anyone do the same neither!
I have done things that a girl shouldnt do too, just to give you an example, we talked about kids, how many i'd like to have, how i want to rise them etc, i mean, normally this kind of talk would scare a guy off miles away but i think he kind of liked it when i talk about the future... weird, isnt it...it ddint drive him away, in a way, what i did drove us closer...
since we are actually on the same board. let me show you what i did (it may apply to you, i know, everyone works differently mentally! but hope to help you anyway!)
1) be realistic - does he like you a lot?
2) listen to whatever your friends can offer, but conclude the sitation by YOURSELF, because you are the only person apart from him knows the every single details of your relationship...
3) do whatever it takes to keep your heart happy - either dump him/wait for him
4) i do agree, be cool with him, it never looks too good if you appear desperate to anyone. I dont mind telling him i miss him, i like him and i think we have a future together - in a way he needs to know all this to feel secure enough with you, then i will be off living my own life and waiting for him to get back to me, i wont be counting the days until he makes the contact. The second you stop guessing what is in hid mind, the second, you start caring for your own feelings.
hope this helps 🙂
How right you are.
We talked about kids and decided on none. Age is a factor!!!
Talked about the future etc.
It makes me laugh now as to how ridiculous it would have sounded if anyone else had been listening.
Gawd, us women don't half make it difficult for ourselves..........
xx
We talked about kids and decided on none. Age is a factor!!!
Talked about the future etc.
It makes me laugh now as to how ridiculous it would have sounded if anyone else had been listening.
Gawd, us women don't half make it difficult for ourselves..........
xx
oh so true, age matters, i am 28, and he just turned 30! he kept asking me what i'd like to do after i retire! lol
Geez, I would love to retire but I've still got a wee while to go yet......
Anyway, I think I'd be too selfish to have kids - no long lies, no nights out aaarrrggghhhh
Nephews will do for me then I can always hand them back...............xx
Anyway, I think I'd be too selfish to have kids - no long lies, no nights out aaarrrggghhhh
Nephews will do for me then I can always hand them back...............xx
haha i used to be like that, i used to be scared of kids!! but only recently the idea of having a baby of my own doesnt sound too horrible anymore....still think i am not ready yet 😄
how strange.....
how strange.....
Hmmmnnnn.....good luck with that..........
Gotta go. Catch you later xx
Gotta go. Catch you later xx
gosh man, you sound quite angry....
calm down
no one here has agreed to be a FWB either him or me.... what made you to jump on that conclusion? because he cannot committ??
calm down
no one here has agreed to be a FWB either him or me.... what made you to jump on that conclusion? because he cannot committ??
i dont mind anyone here who makes their assumptions, but it's not a good habit to come to a forum and try and tell people off like what kstarks just did, i mean, you can do that, but it's just not nice to people, isnt it? And on what ground, you think you have got the whole picture of someone's relationship and can be so forceful with your comments? just based on what you have read so far or your friends stories/your experiences?
another danger to put your story on a forum, there are angry people...
another danger to put your story on a forum, there are angry people...
Posted by CappyyLuv30
Kay means well, I promise. She just doesn't use smileys so it sounds worse than it is. Besides, wouldn't you rather hear the truth in a harsh way than in a fake, pat-me-on-the-back-everything-is-going-to-be-ok way? Maybe I just enjoy a good ass kicking sometimes...*shrugs*
emmm.. i give it a great deal in terms of the comminication style , what i learnt in life is lots of times it's not about what your message is, it's about how you deliver your message to people.
i can show you many cases, if you re-adjust your way of expressing yourself, it'd work out a lot better for you and the person who listen to you too.
i appreciate a good kick-in-ass comments, but what Kay suspected what happened in my relationship is far from the truth, and i dont like the fact that she just jumped on the conclusion assuming that I am just one of these girls who she just described, very unfriendly and unfair.
Posted by kstarks2Posted by Katiefly49
gosh man, you sound quite angry....
calm down
no one here has agreed to be a FWB either him or me.... what made you to jump on that conclusion? because he cannot committ??
What makes you think that i'm angry? I'm quite calm actually and I don't know you to be angry with you. I'm a capricorn perhaps my directness is too direct for you?
Of course no one "agrees" to FWB because you both have ego and pride and i'm sure you are a woman that feels she deserves more than that. However it might hurt you to know he may not feel the same...
However, actions speak louder then words and the actions have made you (Katie) feel that this thing was leaning more towards the FWB category, which is why you said "I need something to confirm that we are an item rather than friends with benefits"...And in your panic, you demanded some sort of recourse from him to prove this was "more" i.e meet his friends,etc. But when he told you that he can't give you a relationship right now and would like to take it slow to see where it goes, you ask why not?
I'm only going off of what you said not what conclusions I jumped to. You said the relationship was going great but you wanted more because you felt it was only FWB. Is that not what you said? Correct me if i'm wrong...click to expand
well, you dont sound calm to me unless thats how you usually are...
harsh doesnt equal to honesty...
ok, for the matter of the fact, no one is treating anyone like FWB, my fear doesnt speak for the truth, can you not be a nice person and just believe i mean what i said? why do you have to be so suspicous of people and things? can you not take their words for what it is?
ok if you really cannot be convinced...
for a start, on the second date, i told him, look, i really like you. but i am tired of going through people and getting nowhere now, i want to get to know you better and see where things go, but i am NOT looking for fun or playing games. he said thats what he wants too and respects that.
cannot introduce me to his friends - have you ever thought about his circustances where I also explained in my thread? gosh this is painful, please, i dont want to argue with anyone, if this is what you belive what my relationship is, then so be it, shame on me that i cannot even figure out his true feelings towards me? so now, you are happy? you prove yourself right? whats the point man?
all im saying is the world is how we interpret what they are, of course, you can sit home and think more than half of people in the world are bastards and they maybe are, but then again, you think negatively, for me, thats not happy life, at least not for me.
if he treated me like FWB, then would i stay in the relationship? no, but does it mean that i jsut can be so secured all the time? no, neither. thats me, i have my insecure moments and my flaws, i just hope you can just take my words for what it is rahter than thinking that you have figured it all out what other people life is, it's truly not a good habit to have.
for a start, on the second date, i told him, look, i really like you. but i am tired of going through people and getting nowhere now, i want to get to know you better and see where things go, but i am NOT looking for fun or playing games. he said thats what he wants too and respects that.
cannot introduce me to his friends - have you ever thought about his circustances where I also explained in my thread? gosh this is painful, please, i dont want to argue with anyone, if this is what you belive what my relationship is, then so be it, shame on me that i cannot even figure out his true feelings towards me? so now, you are happy? you prove yourself right? whats the point man?
all im saying is the world is how we interpret what they are, of course, you can sit home and think more than half of people in the world are bastards and they maybe are, but then again, you think negatively, for me, thats not happy life, at least not for me.
if he treated me like FWB, then would i stay in the relationship? no, but does it mean that i jsut can be so secured all the time? no, neither. thats me, i have my insecure moments and my flaws, i just hope you can just take my words for what it is rahter than thinking that you have figured it all out what other people life is, it's truly not a good habit to have.
Katie - KStarks IS taking you word for it. In fact she quoted your words exactly. Admit the truth. Maybe you did not openly say to him, "OK, lets be FWB." But somehow, somewhere along the way you began to fear it was going into that direction and you reassurance thay you two were more than FWB. As a result, you went on to ask him about meeting his friends, etc. This is a fact. That is what you said in your original post. Unless what you typed was in error. KStarks is not trying to be mean. She is simply helping you to look at the situation from the Cap's perspective and objectively. Sometime I can even get caught in my own perspective of things. This board is GREAT (trust me) for helping others look at things from a differnt point of view. Which well help us grow and make our future relationship(s) better. 🙂
what a mistake to put up a thread here...
look, guys, i am alreay not happy with things are going with my cappy, and i really dont need to come to another place and argue with people, if you are nice, think about it before you landing all your harsh comments, it may feel good for you to be someone who seems have figure it all out, but really? do you really need to do that to boost your own ego?
look, guys, i am alreay not happy with things are going with my cappy, and i really dont need to come to another place and argue with people, if you are nice, think about it before you landing all your harsh comments, it may feel good for you to be someone who seems have figure it all out, but really? do you really need to do that to boost your own ego?
oh dear, name calling? attacking? i am tryign to correct you are wrong and see where it gets me?? i am frustrated because you made your mind up alreay, isnt that the case here? if not, i will be happy to tell you more about me and my cappy and why i dont think he sees me as FWB
Posted by Katiefly49
what a mistake to put up a thread here...
look, guys, i am alreay not happy with things are going with my cappy, and i really dont need to come to another place and argue with people, if you are nice, think about it before you landing all your harsh comments, it may feel good for you to be someone who seems have figure it all out, but really? do you really need to do that to boost your own ego?
Katie, I think everyone here is trying to HELP you. I personally do not get any ego boost in telling you any one thing bad or good. Lol. In fact, if I did not want to help, I would not say anything at all. I am sure the same goes for KStarks. Not sure who you mean by, "you guys". I dont want to add to your problem, only provide some really useful tools to help you deal with the situation.
scorpie - if i do believe what Kay has said has its truth, im big enough to admit, but it's not true and she doesnt seem having any of it, this is where i got frustrated. look, no one knows this better than i do, and i hope people can just take it as what it is. thats it.
Kay - where to start? good things to prove you were wrong or bad things that i didnt feel happy about it? lol
Kay - where to start? good things to prove you were wrong or bad things that i didnt feel happy about it? lol
haha that conversation just now got me so worked up, i dont know where to start telling my story now...
Whoa guys.
Sometimes, when we're hurting, we need soothed regardless of the fact that we need a swift kick in the right direction. We'd all love it if we heard what we wanted to hear but that isn't usually the case.
I don't think anyone is trying to be mean but slap bang in the middle of the hurt, a spoonful of sugar and all that....x
Sometimes, when we're hurting, we need soothed regardless of the fact that we need a swift kick in the right direction. We'd all love it if we heard what we wanted to hear but that isn't usually the case.
I don't think anyone is trying to be mean but slap bang in the middle of the hurt, a spoonful of sugar and all that....x
he has never been good with serious conversations for a start, so i dont blame him since i pused him into a corner to give me an answer. i was forceful with demanding an answer and didnt respect that people have their own pace of dealing with things. i have worked that all.
why i dont think he sees me as FWB. i cannot type out all the things i had with him, but i will try just list a few:
i am the only child in my family, he has brother and sisters, i sometimes tell him how envy i am because i'd wish to have a bigger family too because alghough you fight with them when you are young, you always feel closer when you grow older especially after your parents are gone, every time when i said something like, he always pulling me to him and kissed me and told me that things will be alrite for me in the future.
ok, thats one example....
why i dont think he sees me as FWB. i cannot type out all the things i had with him, but i will try just list a few:
i am the only child in my family, he has brother and sisters, i sometimes tell him how envy i am because i'd wish to have a bigger family too because alghough you fight with them when you are young, you always feel closer when you grow older especially after your parents are gone, every time when i said something like, he always pulling me to him and kissed me and told me that things will be alrite for me in the future.
ok, thats one example....
another example.
I was being insecure one evening ( i know, again! lol) he got quite upset and said 'you know i am storbbon, i wont give you an answer if you force me to, i will tell you when i want to. why dont you just chill and enjoy the time together, then everything will work out itself, do we really have to lable every stage?'
strangely enough, although he got angry with me, but what he said did calm me down for couple of days...
second example.
I was being insecure one evening ( i know, again! lol) he got quite upset and said 'you know i am storbbon, i wont give you an answer if you force me to, i will tell you when i want to. why dont you just chill and enjoy the time together, then everything will work out itself, do we really have to lable every stage?'
strangely enough, although he got angry with me, but what he said did calm me down for couple of days...
second example.
Katie - Can I ask you a quick question. How old are you? Just wondering... 🙂
he always asked questions to find out how close i am to my family, what my friends are like, if i enjoy my job, what i think of his hometown, what i liked to do when im older etc you know that kind of thing a FWB wont be bothered to ask unless he is too bored and has nothing better to do.
he comes over when i got ill and bought food along his way as he 'made out', and acted casual that he didnt make much effort doing that but the food was from somewhere he had to travel quite far from his place, and i really appreciated.
when my work got busy, he offer to cook for me, and 'pretend' that he is such a great cook, but later on i found out that he is not very good at cooking at all (he didnt know even some basics... lol) but it touched me more knowing that he wanted to make effort.
he comes over when i got ill and bought food along his way as he 'made out', and acted casual that he didnt make much effort doing that but the food was from somewhere he had to travel quite far from his place, and i really appreciated.
when my work got busy, he offer to cook for me, and 'pretend' that he is such a great cook, but later on i found out that he is not very good at cooking at all (he didnt know even some basics... lol) but it touched me more knowing that he wanted to make effort.
im 28, think i said it in previous page somewhere...
btw penetrating people are pretty sad....
Posted by honeywawa
Whoa guys.
Sometimes, when we're hurting, we need soothed regardless of the fact that we need a swift kick in the right direction. We'd all love it if we heard what we wanted to hear but that isn't usually the case.
I don't think anyone is trying to be mean but slap bang in the middle of the hurt, a spoonful of sugar and all that....x
she shouldnt have come to the cap board if she wanted to be coddled
so you slept with dude before establishing any type of relationship then wanted to be "validated" by having a relationship afterwards?
EL OH EL
metalohysical. what centry are you living in—? establishing a relationship before sleeping togetehr?
this is quite laughable..... oh man....
this is quite laughable..... oh man....
cappy luv, can you for a second stop being too confident in your ablity of judging the situation and read about what i have typed so far? can you bother to do that first before telling me that you just wanted to give me the "reality"?
thanks
thanks
Posted by Katiefly49
metalohysical. what centry are you living in—? establishing a relationship before sleeping togetehr?
this is quite laughable..... oh man....
my mind lives in a century where people didnt treat sex like going to the bathroom. i'm probably not from this planet.
okie... as expected, no one would comment on the good things/examples i just typed...
look, if you only want to concentrate on the negatives, then i dont need that from here. i was more hoping someone is sensible and actually wants to help rather than giving out conclusions like they have seen it all, you ownt admit that, but thats what it actually is... i am sorry to go against you, but you want me big enough to go with your flow, what about thinking the other way around too? think about how you have come cross?
look, if you only want to concentrate on the negatives, then i dont need that from here. i was more hoping someone is sensible and actually wants to help rather than giving out conclusions like they have seen it all, you ownt admit that, but thats what it actually is... i am sorry to go against you, but you want me big enough to go with your flow, what about thinking the other way around too? think about how you have come cross?
Posted by MetaphysicalPosted by Katiefly49
metalohysical. what centry are you living in—? establishing a relationship before sleeping togetehr?
this is quite laughable..... oh man....
my mind lives in a century where people didnt treat sex like going to the bathroom. i'm probably not from this planet.click to expand
typical, so in your theory, if people have sex before establishing a relationship then they are slats and treat sex so causually like going to bathroom....
great lord... yes we are living in different worlds.
i really cannot see how this kind of talk can do you any good... look, ladies, take back your claws, if someone doesnt agree with your opinion, it's not a bad thing, thats all.
cap luv, you really didnt read what i have typed so far, havent you?
well, you are not really interested in giving your honest advice, you are arriving on an assuption of you own, maybe your past, may be not...
i dont get where you got the ocmment, he made it clear that he doesnt want anything serious from the start though... has someone treat you like that in the past? because i have not said such a thing in this thread.
well, you are not really interested in giving your honest advice, you are arriving on an assuption of you own, maybe your past, may be not...
i dont get where you got the ocmment, he made it clear that he doesnt want anything serious from the start though... has someone treat you like that in the past? because i have not said such a thing in this thread.
women like you disgust me. not because you fucked the dude when you were just friends, but because you come on here complaining about him as if you have a valid reason to. you 2 fucked and now you expect more cuz you caught feelings. time and time again i see these females come here posting about how terrible cap guys are when they need to look in the mirror at themselves.
here's what your cap is singing right now:
here's what your cap is singing right now:
oh man, look, i dont want to continue this anymore, whats the point? you dont seem give it a damn about what other people's story is like, you made out your conclusion regardless what i have to say.
now i am a treetrunk....
and you are telling me that you are not being mean, just because someone doesnt agree with you, dont put you in a postion to be this harsh and mean...
i know, we are on internet, but com'n
look, dont want to get myself into negative amthphere... all the best, this is quite sad, im done with this.
and you are telling me that you are not being mean, just because someone doesnt agree with you, dont put you in a postion to be this harsh and mean...
i know, we are on internet, but com'n
look, dont want to get myself into negative amthphere... all the best, this is quite sad, im done with this.
Posted by MetaphysicalPosted by Katiefly49
metalohysical. what centry are you living in—? establishing a relationship before sleeping togetehr?
this is quite laughable..... oh man....
my mind lives in a century where people didnt treat sex like going to the bathroom. i'm probably not from this planet.click to expand
Lol.
Dam @ meta. Lol.
Katie - They are being a little harsh. However there is some truth here. they are trying to get you to take responsibility for your actions. You did have sex with him without a commitment. Which is fine. However, you made that choice. He didn't put a gun to your head. Now, that your feelings have grown stronger you applied pressure on him to match your feelings or show you that his feelings matched your feelings. Well, the fact of the matter is a person cant control their feelings. Just like you couldn't control catching feelings for him, he cant control not wanting to be in a relationship right now with you. However, what you CAN control is choosing to put yourself in a situation that has the POTENTIAL for disappointment. You chose to have sex with him with no commitment, again, fine. However, you cannot assume that just because you have sex with someone they will automatically share your feelings. I have learned you cannot control men...and I am sure you do not want to. But YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF, right? 🙂 You can make smart decisions that ensure or latest decrease the chances of your getting emotionally attached and hurt. And lets face it, for most women, sex is the quickest way to get attached. Make sense, sweetie?
Katie - They are being a little harsh. However there is some truth here. they are trying to get you to take responsibility for your actions. You did have sex with him without a commitment. Which is fine. However, you made that choice. He didn't put a gun to your head. Now, that your feelings have grown stronger you applied pressure on him to match your feelings or show you that his feelings matched your feelings. Well, the fact of the matter is a person cant control their feelings. Just like you couldn't control catching feelings for him, he cant control not wanting to be in a relationship right now with you. However, what you CAN control is choosing to put yourself in a situation that has the POTENTIAL for disappointment. You chose to have sex with him with no commitment, again, fine. However, you cannot assume that just because you have sex with someone they will automatically share your feelings. I have learned you cannot control men...and I am sure you do not want to. But YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF, right? 🙂 You can make smart decisions that ensure or latest decrease the chances of your getting emotionally attached and hurt. And lets face it, for most women, sex is the quickest way to get attached. Make sense, sweetie?
Posted by CappyyLuv30
She reminds me of my Virgo bestie. She's sooooo sensitive. You always have to walk on eggshells so she doesn't get offended but dude....truth hurts, trust me I *hate* hearing it too sometimes but tis life. Now after what 20 years of friendship is where I'm more able to be honest with her when she asks for advice. Then when she gets my honest answer, she never asks me for advice again LOL....truth is a bitch but it shall set you free.
Yes, aint this the truth!
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we've been seeing each other for four months, everything has been great, then on the fourth month, i wanted more - i.e. to meet up with his friends(because I need something to confirm that we are an item rather than friends with benefits), i communicated that thoughts to him via email - big mistake now i realised! he then disappearred for two weeks, inbetween i did text him to tell him that i would be patient if he needed time and space but im thinking of him etc. and sent him a txt on his bday wishing him to have a great day plus i miss him. no reply. i waited for another a few days, sent an email telling him that i am sorry if i have come cross demanding. no reply. then i called, he didnt pick up the phone neither (first time he plays this disappearing act to me though in the four months period).
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thats about the whole story.
the thing is that I think i kind of now where he is coming from and i appreciate that. but the other side, i think it'd be nice to know i am in a committed relationship with him so i dont feel like an idiot if he is not as nice as i think he is.
wise ladies/cap men, please let me know your thoughts on this...
thanks!