Why cap be mean and cold to me after break up? :(

So as i told you guys we're long distance and he told me to find someone in my area.And he cant give me false ope anymore and he feels like he's stringing me alone because he cant move to my state.I know he has feelings for me and i love him.But he pretends like this isn't a big deal.He said how should we move on and i said lets forget about each other and he said i wouldn't want that i still want us to talk,i said ok.Then I asked him if we can be friends and he answered the next day with a yes.Idk why it took him that long to answer that,I know he saw the message right away when i sent it.Anyway,now since he told me that whenever i reach out and want to talk he just responds with coldness and one worded answers as if he's indifferent about me as if i'm a stranger.We've been through sooooo much and it kills me to see how a person can suddenly just treat you like you've never ment anything to them.On facebook he interacts with his friends and is all happy and silly and talkative but when i reach out he talks to me in a rude cold way as if i'm the enemy and i didn't do anything😢 Even when we were together he kept telling me i'm the perfect woman and i'm too good to him.I wanted some advice from you guys,why might he be acting this way after dumping me?

It's called self preservation. He's put the shields up to protect himself and to create distance.

Sucks, I know. In time, he will probably be able to be more friendly. I've usually been friends with exes over time, not all, but most. In fact my best male friend is an ex from 27 years ago - and he broke my heart then. We didn't talk for over 20 years, now we are best friends. Go figure.

Posted by truecap
It's called self preservation. He's put the shields up to protect himself and to create distance.

Sucks, I know. In time, he will probably be able to be more friendly. I've usually been friends with exes over time, not all, but most. In fact my best male friend is an ex from 27 years ago - and he broke my heart then. We didn't talk for over 20 years, now we are best friends. Go figure.

I understand,but protect himself from what?I didn't hurt him in this relationship ,he hurt me by breaking up with me.He's the one who broke up with me already.I should be the one protecting myself 😢

Posted by pillowhome

Posted by truecap
It's called self preservation. He's put the shields up to protect himself and to create distance.

Sucks, I know. In time, he will probably be able to be more friendly. I've usually been friends with exes over time, not all, but most. In fact my best male friend is an ex from 27 years ago - and he broke my heart then. We didn't talk for over 20 years, now we are best friends. Go figure.

I understand,but protect himself from what?I didn't hurt him in this relationship ,he hurt me by breaking up with me.He's the one who broke up with me already.I should be the one protecting myself 😢

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If he broke up because of the distance, which he probably forsees as just plain not feaseable and impractical, then he's hurting too. Unless there are other reasons he wanted to break up with you.

thanks guys.Mostly distance and cause of his commitment issues.

I think his behavior is actually him being very kind, though it may not seem that way.

He broke up with you. He told you he didn't want to give you false hope, that just says it all.
You ask to be friends, he probably didn't have the heart to say no.

So now he's being rude when he interacts with you because he doesn't want you to get confused and rink he still likes/ wants to be with you.

You can say all you want that he has feelings still, and it may be true, however the bottom line is he doesn't want to be with you.

So just move on and I agree with the others- stop contacting him.

Posted by capgirl69
I think his behavior is actually him being very kind, though it may not seem that way.

He broke up with you. He told you he didn't want to give you false hope, that just says it all.
You ask to be friends, he probably didn't have the heart to say no.

So now he's being rude when he interacts with you because he doesn't want you to get confused and rink he still likes/ wants to be with you.

You can say all you want that he has feelings still, and it may be true, however the bottom line is he doesn't want to be with you.

So just move on and I agree with the others- stop contacting him.

^^ This too.

Posted by capgirl69
I think his behavior is actually him being very kind, though it may not seem that way.

He broke up with you. He told you he didn't want to give you false hope, that just says it all.
You ask to be friends, he probably didn't have the heart to say no.

So now he's being rude when he interacts with you because he doesn't want you to get confused and rink he still likes/ wants to be with you.

You can say all you want that he has feelings still, and it may be true, however the bottom line is he doesn't want to be with you.

So just move on and I agree with the others- stop contacting him.

I agree.he did tell me he is acting this way because he's worried about me. 😢

but guys if someone truly loves you ,distance wouldn't be an issue right?

Posted by pillowhome
but guys if someone truly loves you ,distance wouldn't be an issue right?

Yes, if it's not feasible. Why be together if you can't spend time together. Be practical - Long term? Where are you? What's the goal? Can't move to be together, what's the point? What if you want to get married? Can't move forward, so might as well move on. You both deserve to be happy and to be with someone. I think long distance is a really dumb arrangement, honestly. I want to be able to actually be with the person I'm with.

Posted by truecap

Posted by pillowhome
but guys if someone truly loves you ,distance wouldn't be an issue right?

Yes, if it's not feasible. Why be together if you can't spend time together. Be practical - Long term? Where are you? What's the goal? Can't move to be together, what's the point? What if you want to get married? Can't move forward, so might as well move on. You both deserve to be happy and to be with someone. I think long distance is a really dumb arrangement, honestly. I want to be able to actually be with the person I'm with.

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You're right 😢 gosh,it hurts so much.How can a person move on?it's just torture 😢

I know, baby. Just hang in there. One day at a time. 😢

Posted by truecap
It's called self preservation. He's put the shields up to protect himself and to create distance.

+1

Sometimes we have to make choices that hurt us more then the other. We cannot live in a fantasy realm, even thou we truly want too. Math is our weapon of choice, stacks must be towards more loss then benefits. You will have to ask yourself "Can I replace his foundation if he gives it all up for me?".

Posted by Lenore0908
Don't contact him anymore. You have to show that you have high self esteem, believe in yourself, and that you have other options. Don't tell him this stuff, just show it by moving on. He might even come back if you do this. But by hanging on, it's not doing you any good.


Why is he doing it? He is testing you to see how strong you are. He wants to see if yo have a backbone and can stand up for yourself. Also, he may have lost interet in you. You CAN turn this around, but not my texting him and asking to be friends. Yes it will be hard to stop talking to him, but it will work out in the end.

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This statement is also true. Are you willing to give up everything to support him to benefit your relationship together? Capricorns want or need a strong minded partner. One that will survive without the other, but can excel together as one...

No contact is a common sense rule that must be observed by all Zodiacs..