Something Holding Me Back

http://imgur.com/otJl4pd

As you can see from my chart I have my fair share of challenges in life. Something in particular is stopping me from being inspired enough to get out of bed in the morning. I can get myself going over time, but every night my mind wants to sleep 10+ hours and won't get out of bed no matter how badly I want myself to. I understand that I'm naturally slow to get started, but what's making life seem so gray and dull to me in the morning that it's not worth getting up at all?

I think it might be tied to negative effects on my moon, by the way.

Like Binota said, you have a fixed grand cross....thats a lot of tension, a lot of "not being Ble to move"... But a tremendous amount of power, and authority.
Success will come later in life...40's maybe.
Conan O'Brian has a fixed grand cross, he has promoted dozens of people into stardom, it's his job. He's a very powerful and good man.

First of there are morning people and evening people. Your inner (biological) clock may be not ringing in the early hours of the day. You are not alone there. I have this problem too.

Astrologically I don't know cause I am no expert. However I try to play this mind game:

AC opposition Sun right at the boundary between 6th and 7th houses (work and commitments) may be disturbing.

Moon opposite Saturn, feelings/subconsciousness versus structure/discipline is the other root of disturbance.

Also your home sector (4th house) is empty. The classical ruler Jupiter stays in the home of reputation, falls upon MC. You have no relaxation at home and are excited about work issues. The modern time ruler, Neptune, cojuncts your Uranus. You are aware of changes and prepared for them. Maybe another reason to be not relaxed.

Thank you very much for your insight, everyone. All of your advice is very helpful.

Posted by Binota
How's your job situation? Any activity plans?

Your Sun square Saturn made you slow & dull. http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Sun-Square-Saturn</a> Especially that aspect are very tight (0 degree is stronger than 9 degree wide)


But one thing, I do also noticed you have extreme struggle. 😐 A lot of aspect that I see should considered to be aware of.

Like you have:
Sun square moon http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/sunsquaremoon.html</a>
Moon square venus (Unsatisfied with your desire) http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Moon-Square-Venus</a>
Sun opposite Pluto (self-destruction & perfectionist of your identiy and that made it more through black & white) http://darkstarastrology.com/sun-opposition-pluto-natal/</a>
Moon opposite Saturn (makes you cold-hearted towards others) http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Moon-Square-Saturn</a>
Saturn square Pluto (makes you really restricted) http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Saturn-Square-Pluto</a>

All of them comes of fixed to that will made you extremely stubborn, especially your moon of self-centered.

Although your mercury & venus trine your jupiter will makes everyone likes you through your optimistic & kindness if they know you (your ascendant & conjunct pluto makes you Scorpionic & intense)

The only thing for giving you advice is to be good guy. No matter if people didn't like you.

Yes, I'm currently struggling with the job market right now. College was easy for me, but now that I have my degree, the next step is really hard. Part of me thinks it isn't fair that I shouldn't have to fight so hard just to have a place to work for a living (probably related to the struggle Dwelling mentioned). That combined with the struggle of actually getting anywhere (from Sun square Saturn) is probably draining a lot of my energy. Perhaps being the focal point of the two T-squares is making that problem much worse? (Plus that tightness you mentioned.)

From my own interpretations, I think Sun square Moon and Moon square Venus both play a role in this issue, too. They make me feel like my feelings about this issue are invalid and bad. While Saturn makes the Moon f

Sorry, didn't realize there was a space limit.

From my own interpretations, I think Sun square Moon and Moon square Venus both play a role in this issue, too. They make me feel like my feelings about this issue are invalid and bad. While Saturn makes the Moon feel oppressed by structure/discipline as Dwelling said, Venus makes those feelings and that struggle feel particularly ugly on the Moon's side of things, and I think the Sun makes me feel like fighting for that isn't what I really want.


As for the other stuff, the good news is I have adjusted to most of the other issues you mentioned before I even got into Astrology. Sun opposite Pluto makes it hard for me to maintain interpersonal relationships, but I've learned to develop a back-and-forth balance. Pluto wants me to go to the extreme when others make me upset, but the Sun just wants me to hold the status quo and be happy with what I have. So instead, I let myself bring up issues (as long as they aren't petty complaints) while making sure I don't "upset the balance" by going to far and blowing up in front of everyone. Like you said, it's all about being "the good guy" in any conflict I'm in (not so much an issue of morality, but more an issue of not pitting myself against everyone like Pluto wants me to).

(Also, funnily enough, years before I ever got into Astrology, I noticed that my relationships with people always tended to "blow up" around spring-time. Eventually I figured out that it wasn't just bad luck, it was always my fault for getting too negative towards people. I've learned recently that this is due to the Sun coming back to transit opposite my natal Pluto every year.)

Saturn square Pluto was a really rough one. I'd best describe it as a strong sense of the flaws in other people and the world in general, and the fact that it deeply affects me and makes me feel oppressed to be a part of it. It's not really an anger, but more of a general disdain. It feels good when I can channel it outward as a hope for how the world could be, but when I let it bother my inner Saturnian it drives him mad and makes him want to self-destruct.

On a side note, it's interesting that my completely non-aspected Mars is right in the middle of the Sun and Saturn. I've looked into these semi-square minor aspect relationships, and I think that the state of my Mars best describes whether I'm dealing with Sun square Saturn well or not. If Mars isn't dealing well with Saturn, it makes everything feel cold and pointless, not worth the effort. If Mars isn't dealing well with the Sun, it will make me overreact when I'm angry and make me unable to enjoy things. When I'm at my best, though, Mars and the Sun work together to give me a lot of drive for what I want, and Mars and Saturn work together to make sure the things I push for are things that I really care about that carry a lot more weight than simple pleasures. It's somewhat fleeting, and I feel absolutely the best when they line up, but I have yet to feel that way in my professional life.

(Sorry for triple posting, this is the last part.)

It's nice to see your feedback so soon. Also nice to see how you manage your developments, for example by Astrology. I like it.

You might be an example for the new board: personal development.

Posted by Binota

Posted by bricklemark
Like Binota said, you have a fixed grand cross....thats a lot of tension, a lot of "not being Ble to move"... But a tremendous amount of power, and authority.
Success will come later in life...40's maybe.
Conan O'Brian has a fixed grand cross, he has promoted dozens of people into stardom, it's his job. He's a very powerful and good man.

Almost fixed grand cross though.. if moon aspect the Pluto then that would be definitely fixed grand cross.

click to expand

It's close enough...you got the rising that's a few degrees before, and MC and Jupiter a few degrees after...there are 4 perfect clusters situated around the 4 fixed signs. Several reasons why it should count.

Posted by DwellingOnMove
First of there are morning people and evening people. Your inner (biological) clock may be not ringing in the early hours of the day. You are not alone there. I have this problem too.

Astrologically I don't know cause I am no expert. However I try to play this mind game:

AC opposition Sun right at the boundary between 6th and 7th houses (work and commitments) may be disturbing.

Moon opposite Saturn, feelings/subconsciousness versus structure/discipline is the other root of disturbance.

Also your home sector (4th house) is empty. The classical ruler Jupiter stays in the home of reputation, falls upon MC. You have no relaxation at home and are excited about work issues. The modern time ruler, Neptune, cojuncts your Uranus. You are aware of changes and prepared for them. Maybe another reason to be not relaxed.

Something odd I noticed while reading into houses, I think having 4th House in Pisces actually makes me over-relax at home. I'm much more comfortable at home than elsewhere, and rather than my work life making me not relaxed at home, my ability to be comfortable in my home life makes my work life feel "off" to me, so get an uncomfortable dread whenever I know I have to go somewhere. This discomfort is something I've conditioned myself to feel in the morning, because for years I forced myself to get out every morning even though I felt horrible about it.

Just something that could be compounding onto the rest, really.