Can someone explain...

What the deal with Gemini's are. I'll explain. Was sorta set up with this Gemini chick through a friend. We hit it off over the phone. Met in person last night. It started weird an awkward (I think expectations had somewhat to do with it because the connection over the phone was pretty intense)

Anyway despite that we both eventually relaxed. We were even having a good time together and would get intimate... Maybe too intimate. Like even just kinda cuddling she started crying and then got embarrassed. So I backed it up. Then she would flip a 180 and maul me. Then another 180 and cry. That happened like 5 times... I was very understanding which she appreciated. Things leveled out and the rest of the night was really nice.

She definitely gets in her head a lot which I get because I do as well (obviously why I'm here) the difference being while I can't turn off that annoying chatter in my brain the logical side of me overrides the emotional side so I don't end up behaving like a whack job (no offense to anyone)

What I'm looking for insight and understanding to Gemini brain and seemingly bipolar behavior. Also wondering if being steady, calm and understanding is the way to go or if I should be running for the hills.

Thanks

Oh also she we talked earlier last night about getting together tonight and she said earlier today she wants and had asked me if I was still interested in her which at this point I'm not sure if she wants me to be or not...

Honestly I don't think it was something I did. She kept apologizing for it and was embarrassed which to mean sounds like a big bag of emotional issues. I don't usually just write people off so I'd like to give her to benefit of the doubt. Guess I'll find out tonight. Wish me luck

I don't know about sexually. Emotionally for sure. Which was a huge red flag to me. But while being aware of that I'm not sure (yet) to continue so I'm moving cautiously.

How do you judge or blame someone for an emotion. I mean shit even the dogs I've rescued started out that way and you'd never know it once they were showed love and were taken care of.

Probably not the best analogy but trying to make a point that just as her behavior has been learned it can be unlearned. Just trying to figure out if that's something I can/want to realistically attempt.

Posted by cappycap1148
Honestly I don't think it was something I did. She kept apologizing for it and was embarrassed which to mean sounds like a big bag of emotional issues. I don't usually just write people off so I'd like to give her to benefit of the doubt. Guess I'll find out tonight. Wish me luck

Hi Cappycap... You beat me too it, I was just about to respond with the above.....Looks like she likes you and is trying to stay in the moment with you Seems like that's were she wants to be or should be, however something really serious (to her) is pulling her back and since Gem's are nervous energy and do live in their heads, she won't be able to give you much without exhausting herself. If you want to find out what's affecting her you would have to come across as really nonjudgemental and very understanding.

The fact that she reached out to you after last night makes her seem open to continuing and she might be willing to tell you what is causing her to behave so emotionally. The issue might not be as bad/big as she thinks and then you can decide if she's worth it. You can always choose to leave her alone for a while to work on things. Good Luck and hope you have a good evening regardless 🙂

Posted by duchessedenemours

Posted by cappycap1148
I don't know about sexually. Emotionally for sure. Which was a huge red flag to me. But while being aware of that I'm not sure (yet) to continue so I'm moving cautiously.

How do you judge or blame someone for an emotion. I mean shit even the dogs I've rescued started out that way and you'd never know it once they were showed love and were taken care of.

Probably not the best analogy but trying to make a point that just as her behavior has been learned it can be unlearned. Just trying to figure out if that's something I can/want to realistically attempt.

I'm not blaming her. Nor am I saying she can't fix it. But she has to do that on her own. Relying on you or any relationship to fix that isn't going to give her self-confidence. It's better for her future to get healthy first. If she still has the thought patterns in her head, she won't be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone no matter how nice that person treats her.

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See that's the exact advice I would normally give someone. But I've always felt its easier to do that when you're on the outside ya know. I pretty stay away from emotionally broken girls. I guess to I used to be one myself (well I've always been a dude haha) so I can empathize with it a little bit which may be the only reason I'm considering it. It's kinda tough too cuz backing off too much or completely is what she's expecting. It's like she's expecting me to run away. So do I prove I can handle her (which I think I can but then I risk myself getting hurt ) or further add to her baggage and move on. Ugh

Posted by gemeliorist

Posted by cappycap1148
Honestly I don't think it was something I did. She kept apologizing for it and was embarrassed which to mean sounds like a big bag of emotional issues. I don't usually just write people off so I'd like to give her to benefit of the doubt. Guess I'll find out tonight. Wish me luck

Hi Cappycap... You beat me too it, I was just about to respond with the above.....Looks like she likes you and is trying to stay in the moment with you Seems like that's were she wants to be or should be, however something really serious (to her) is pulling her back and since Gem's are nervous energy and do live in their heads, she won't be able to give you much without exhausting herself. If you want to find out what's affecting her you would have to come across as really nonjudgemental and very understanding.

The fact that she reached out to you after last night makes her seem open to continuing and she might be willing to tell you what is causing her to behave so emotionally. The issue might not be as bad/big as she thinks and then you can decide if she's worth it. You can always choose to leave her alone for a while to work on things. Good Luck and hope you have a good evening regardless 🙂

click to expand

I was calm and patient with her. I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. That seemed to help turns things around and kind of how I think I'm going to proceed.

That's actually a learned behavior for me though. I used to be the standard jealous, or controlling, or unreasonable cap but that just pushed girls away.

So yea I'm going for more of the low pressure, nonjudgemental take it a day at a time approach

Date #2:

Complete night and day to date #1. We went and did various things in her town. That made her comfortable. I let her set the pace and and set the tone and just matched. I almost didn't go at all. But I'm glad I gave it a chance.

She told a couple things last night that were some new red flags to me so I'm not sure if I could be in a relationship with her. 1 day at time for now.

Thanks for the advice all and keeping my nerves calm haha

Sounds like a Gemini, with a water moon....She sounds cute. Crying turns guys on btw.

Posted by cappycap1148

Posted by gemeliorist

Posted by cappycap1148
Honestly I don't think it was something I did. She kept apologizing for it and was embarrassed which to mean sounds like a big bag of emotional issues. I don't usually just write people off so I'd like to give her to benefit of the doubt. Guess I'll find out tonight. Wish me luck

Hi Cappycap... You beat me too it, I was just about to respond with the above.....Looks like she likes you and is trying to stay in the moment with you Seems like that's were she wants to be or should be, however something really serious (to her) is pulling her back and since Gem's are nervous energy and do live in their heads, she won't be able to give you much without exhausting herself. If you want to find out what's affecting her you would have to come across as really nonjudgemental and very understanding.

The fact that she reached out to you after last night makes her seem open to continuing and she might be willing to tell you what is causing her to behave so emotionally. The issue might not be as bad/big as she thinks and then you can decide if she's worth it. You can always choose to leave her alone for a while to work on things. Good Luck and hope you have a good evening regardless 🙂

I was calm and patient with her. I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. That seemed to help turns things around and kind of how I think I'm going to proceed.

That's actually a learned behavior for me though. I used to be the standard jealous, or controlling, or unreasonable cap but that just pushed girls away.

So yea I'm going for more of the low pressure, nonjudgemental take it a day at a time approach

click to expand

Good thinking. I lived with a Cappie for 4 years and he was just like that, controlling, jealous, blah blah...if he would have just slowed it down a bit and let me want him, who knows.

She's very cute. And kinda adorable when she cries I'll admit haha

Posted by cappycap1148
She's very cute. And kinda adorable when she cries I'll admit haha

See, I used to pull the crying game with my ex. He went nuts, always ended up making hot passionate love....hehhehehhe

Posted by tiziani
The thing about emotionally hypersensitive people is not to judge them, since there are a thousand other dysfunctions out there that are more socially acceptable yet equally as harmful and barely perceptible by anyone. Just because this is more dramatic, doesn't make them deserving of being marginalized.


Yet at the same time that means no special treatment either. Absolutely cannot do the work for people unless they are willing to put in the work themselves.

That leaves you with being a presence in their life in the meantime. "Friends" is a strange word to throw around. I think it's more just being available and supportive when (if ever) the time calls for it.

Yea that's kinda the way I went about it. When she was upset she kept apologizing for it and couldn't really verbalize it so rather than press I told her there's no way anyone can argue with an emotion and that it's not a big deal.

For me it's more about trying to navigate through it which is difficult because I don't understand it ya know? That and determining if it's worth trying to navigate through to begin with. I'm an optimist and idealist so I'm going to give it chance.

I'm also not perfect. So how could I judge?

I dated a girl once that was more unstable than I was aware of at that time and the relationship ended up really tearing me apart. So mostly I'm trying to determine if I'm risking walking into that situation again.

It's not the emotional stuff that even bothers me. It's the potentially destructive behaviors that could be a side effect of those emotions that scare me.

u are dealing with 2 ppl who need 40 ppl to keep the entertainment going