Gemini girl says she loves me but in the same time she say we should leave each other !!

She is not telling me exactly why. All she say is " I really love you but I don't see any future for us. So we should end our relationship" . She's acting cold with me now but we still texting and calling each other but much less frequent than before.

What should i do in this situation !! Why she keeps admitting her love for me if she want to end the relationship !!!

Posted by nanobot
That's not how it works. You can love someone but also still not see a future with them

You either be in a relation or not , That's how it works. saying to the one who loves you that i see no future with you is very cruel & heart breaking.

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by nanobot
That's not how it works. You can love someone but also still not see a future with them

You either be in a relation or not , That's how it works. saying to the one who loves you that i see no future with you is very cruel & heart breaking.

Why not?

What's your sign?

click to expand

Libra.
She is avoiding giving me any clear reason. sometimes she tell me i'm just confused & sometimes she say i dont want to get attached to you more than this. If i have to guess i would say she is afraid of committing to me, maybe bcz she want to explore other options !
Any advice please

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by nanobot
That's not how it works. You can love someone but also still not see a future with them

You either be in a relation or not , That's how it works. saying to the one who loves you that i see no future with you is very cruel & heart breaking.

Why not?

What's your sign?

Libra.
She is avoiding giving me any clear reason. sometimes she tell me i'm just confused & sometimes she say i dont want to get attached to you more than this. If i have to guess i would say she is afraid of committing to me, maybe bcz she want to explore other options !
Any advice please

There are many gem girls who will rush into a relationship and commit easily.
And there are some who would abhor relationship as such. I tell myself I want to get into a relationship but I mess up few times before getting into an actual relationship. It's not even one thought out game but rather Impulsive screw ups. Someone said this to me, " You playing, playing, playing and now played yourself and you are miserable af"

It could be our insecurities coming into play or trust issues.
Does she see you as flakey? Did you make her jealous or anything?
If she loves you but doesn't want to have a relationship with you,my bet would be she doesn't see you as trustworthy or she just isn't ready to commit. That "I'm not ready to commit..." doesn't seem plausible to me. Geminis yearn to be madly in love and to be with the one we love.

Take few steps back. She might chase you. I pretty much realize what I had only after losing it. She might be like me.
Be slightly distant and see if she misses you.

click to expand

"It could be our insecurities coming into play or trust issues" . Yes she has some insecurities and trust issues for sure. I don't think she see me as a flakey person.
As for jealousy. She has big issues when it comes to jealousy, even if i ask her any normal questions about her girl friends or her sisters she gets upset or mad. But she has no problem making me jealous, she always tell me about guys she met in her life or guys who wanted to date her and how they love her even now, And when i act cool not showing my jealousy she gets mad. She told me that she love doing this to me " playing mind games & making me jealous" she even told me that she is a possessive person.

This whole situation of acting hot & cold going back and forth is taking a toll on me and my metal heath .
Thank you for the reply & advice .

Posted by thebeesoul
She is not telling me exactly why. All she say is " I really love you but I don't see any future for us. So we should end our relationship" . She's acting cold with me now but we still texting and calling each other but much less frequent than before.

What should i do in this situation !! Why she keeps admitting her love for me if she want to end the relationship !!!

Translation: "I still care about you (due to our history together) - but i don't like where things are going. I don't want to be in a relationship with you. Just friends."

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by nanobot
That's not how it works. You can love someone but also still not see a future with them

You either be in a relation or not , That's how it works. saying to the one who loves you that i see no future with you is very cruel & heart breaking.

Why not?

What's your sign?

Libra.
She is avoiding giving me any clear reason. sometimes she tell me i'm just confused & sometimes she say i dont want to get attached to you more than this. If i have to guess i would say she is afraid of committing to me, maybe bcz she want to explore other options !
Any advice please

There are many gem girls who will rush into a relationship and commit easily.
And there are some who would abhor relationship as such. I tell myself I want to get into a relationship but I mess up few times before getting into an actual relationship. It's not even one thought out game but rather Impulsive screw ups. Someone said this to me, " You playing, playing, playing and now played yourself and you are miserable af"

It could be our insecurities coming into play or trust issues.
Does she see you as flakey? Did you make her jealous or anything?
If she loves you but doesn't want to have a relationship with you,my bet would be she doesn't see you as trustworthy or she just isn't ready to commit. That "I'm not ready to commit..." doesn't seem plausible to me. Geminis yearn to be madly in love and to be with the one we love.

Take few steps back. She might chase you. I pretty much realize what I had only after losing it. She might be like me.
Be slightly distant and see if she misses you.

She told me that she love doing this to me " playing mind games & making me jealous"

This whole situation of acting hot & cold going back and forth is taking a toll on me and my metal heath

click to expand

have you considered, that this whole love but leave me thing, is just another mind game to screwed with you head?

also she might be trying to destroy your ego and mind health in order to make you more vulnerable and submissive so she can feel more secure, a form of "crab mentality"

you should stop and consider what you want for your life too, she lacks some empathy towards your emotional security, and that can be quite taxing on the long run, while she's gets satisfied with the drama.

are you going to handle that?

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by neves

Posted by thebeesoul
She is not telling me exactly why. All she say is " I really love you but I don't see any future for us. So we should end our relationship" . She's acting cold with me now but we still texting and calling each other but much less frequent than before.

What should i do in this situation !! Why she keeps admitting her love for me if she want to end the relationship !!!

Translation: "I still care about you (due to our history together) - but i don't like where things are going. I don't want to be in a relationship with you. Just friends."

No
Just no.

click to expand

That was a sugar-coated answer.

Despite of being a Gemini - she's not you and the OP is not your ex. I mean, your response seems kinda personal. It's not a bad advice - but it's probably something that could have had some successes with you - if your ex acted as you advised the OP. Even so, cause of the way things went - now you're mature enough to see/understand those things. Something that you couldn't back then. Mistakes are our best teachers in life (if we're willing to learn the lesson). And same goes for this two. She's quite immature, but her intents seem pretty clear - while taking in consideration her words and actions (turning cold). And same goes for the OP (it's quite normal to react the way he does). It's who she is right now. It's who he is. Maybe things will change with time (once they change), but for now - she's trying to let him go...

Or at least that's how i see it.

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by neves

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by neves

Posted by thebeesoul
She is not telling me exactly why. All she say is " I really love you but I don't see any future for us. So we should end our relationship" . She's acting cold with me now but we still texting and calling each other but much less frequent than before.

What should i do in this situation !! Why she keeps admitting her love for me if she want to end the relationship !!!

Translation: "I still care about you (due to our history together) - but i don't like where things are going. I don't want to be in a relationship with you. Just friends."

No
Just no.

That was a sugar-coated answer.

Despite of being a Gemini - she's not you and the OP is not your ex. I mean, your response seems kinda personal. It's not a bad advice - but it's probably something that could have had some successes with you - if your ex acted as you advised the OP. Even so, cause of the way things went - now you're mature enough to see/understand those things. Something that you coludn't back then. Mistakes are our best teachers in life (if we're whiling to learn the lesson). And same goes for this two. She's quite immature, but her intents seem pretty clear - while taking in consideration her words and actions (turning cold). And same goes for the OP (it's quite normal to react the way he does). It's who she is right now. It's who he is. Maybe things will change with time (once they change), but for now - she's trying to let him go...

Or at least that's how i see it.

WTH! I never ever went back and forth between guys. I would never do that. That's gross.

I was insecure but didn't do anything like this. I wanted reassurances tho. Once they tell me where they stand with me, I'm good.

click to expand

I don't know what you're talking about. 😐

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by thebeesoul

Posted by nanobot
That's not how it works. You can love someone but also still not see a future with them

You either be in a relation or not , That's how it works. saying to the one who loves you that i see no future with you is very cruel & heart breaking.

Why not?

What's your sign?

Libra.
She is avoiding giving me any clear reason. sometimes she tell me i'm just confused & sometimes she say i dont want to get attached to you more than this. If i have to guess i would say she is afraid of committing to me, maybe bcz she want to explore other options !
Any advice please

There are many gem girls who will rush into a relationship and commit easily.
And there are some who would abhor relationship as such. I tell myself I want to get into a relationship but I mess up few times before getting into an actual relationship. It's not even one thought out game but rather Impulsive screw ups. Someone said this to me, " You playing, playing, playing and now played yourself and you are miserable af"

It could be our insecurities coming into play or trust issues.
Does she see you as flakey? Did you make her jealous or anything?
If she loves you but doesn't want to have a relationship with you,my bet would be she doesn't see you as trustworthy or she just isn't ready to commit. That "I'm not ready to commit..." doesn't seem plausible to me. Geminis yearn to be madly in love and to be with the one we love.

Take few steps back. She might chase you. I pretty much realize what I had only after losing it. She might be like me.
Be slightly distant and see if she misses you.

"It could be our insecurities coming into play or trust issues" . Yes she has some insecurities and trust issues for sure. I don't think she see me as a flakey person.
As for jealousy. She has big issues when it comes to jealousy, even if i ask her any normal questions about her girl friends or her sisters she gets upset or mad. But she has no problem making me jealous, she always tell me about guys she met in her life or guys who wanted to date her and how they love her even now, And when i act cool not showing my jealousy she gets mad. She told me that she love doing this to me " playing mind games & making me jealous" she even told me that she is a possessive person.

This whole situation of acting hot & cold going back and forth is taking a toll on me and my metal heath .
Thank you for the reply & advice .

Did she ever get cheated on? Maybe she had a butterty past/childhood.
Or she is insecure af because she lacks self confidence/self worth.

One thing you could do is, just tell her you like her and nobody else and to stop with her BS.
Don't talk about other girls for some time. For some time. Let her learn to trust you.

And you will have to be dominant. Not hper dominant but don't let her walk all over you. She should know she should trust you and you will be loyal. Let her see through your actions and tell her using words ... Reinforce your actions with words for a while.
If all this doesn't work, then it's going to hard keeping up with her. She has to work on her inner self.
Meditation should help her. But all the best telling her to do it as a self help mechanism.

Don't allow this to tear you apart. It can have a toll on you. One thing you could do is use words to tell her how you feel about her.

click to expand

What I found out is working best is to play her mind games back on her, Going hot & cold, even making her jealous from time to time can bring her closer.

Thanks Squishy_Marshmallow for everything, Wishing for you the best in your life.

Posted by BondGirl007
There is a chance she just doesnt see a future with you. Take me as an example. Im not being narcissistic (disclaimer) but I am in her situation not long ago with an aqua man (see my thread here asking about which one is the better choice). Basically I was with an aqua man after my aqua ex who I was with for 4 years. So this aqua guy i was with for around 3 mos or so, we liked each other. We had so much fun. But me seeing a future with him was not part of it. I didnt feel safe nor stable. He was the good time partner but not my hard time, im gonna lose my butter partner who will accept me. He did accept me when i went crazy doing push pull thing wih my life. But I really did not get the sense of stability that i was needing. When time came that i was ready for an rs, I met another aqua man. The one I am with today. And this was serious right off the bat. No questions asked. I still push pull sometimes due to my fears but i know i’d much prefer to be with him for the long haul because of the feeling he gives me.

No matter how much you like her and how much you tried to prove it to her, she’s a gemini. You cannot expect her to be one thing or the other at your command. She wont be controlled. She wont fit the norms. She will come and go as she pleases. If you do love her, you just have to accept that and leave it to fate. She can come back one day. Or she might not. For now, let her be. She will find herself. Whether thats with you or not, who knows really.

After reading many of your posts, you sure sound a lot like her, you two have alot in common. And i was hoping to see your answer on my question, Your answer was right on the spot.

"" If you do love her, you just have to accept that and leave it to fate. She can come back one day. Or she might not. For now, let her be. She will find herself. Whether thats with you or not, who knows really.""

Thats the bottom line really.

Thank you

Women like to invest in people...

She doesn't see a future. There's your answer.

You're no longer an "investment", in other words.

I don't believe a woman can love someone, and then add a "but" on why you and her can't be together.. These chicks on here DXP can believe all that, but no woman really knows what they want in the first damn place... Let's just keep it fuck real.

I WILL say a woman can "HAVE LOVE" for you; which is just the mere meaning that she "cares about you".

She cares about you in a sense that she doesn't want to see you 'hurt' OVER HER.. But only because it makes her feel like a bad person.

*Women hate feeling like the bad guy.. That's why it's hard for them to break up with a man to begin with.

So this "love" doesn't translate to still being IN LOVE. It doesn't mean "love" at all, if you want to keep it 100% real with yourself..

When going through a break up, it's best not to lie to ourselves at this time.

Just take these sayings as; you are no longer an investment, and the value of the relationship is zero-to-none in her eyes.

You got to move on.

Take a step back and reflect on what went wrong, to avoid this when you meet another woman. Occupy yourself until then, and recharge the love you got inside you.