How long does it take for Gemini girl to move on?

On a serious note now..

The girl who I... ...is split up with her ex boyfriend after being together for about three and a half years, most probably he broke up with her, as she spent very little time anywhere outside her studying.. I'd like to know how long it will take her to forget, to move on, to gather a little trust. She has tendency to cry at night, and few days ago she told me she went to sleep at 4am, after I asked her why, she did not answer, I believe she was crying.. I believe she does so every night.. I messaged her today at ~2 and she answered in about thirty minutes, as if she had to gather herself together to answer. Now, I am not interested in anyone else theories on my conclusions in her behavior since only I can really analyze her doing, and also because I am not stating everything, that would be absurd.

My analysis is that she might be blaming herself for ruining of their relationship, it would not however be a psychological problem, rather just something she would need to go over - over time; maybe making her forget, but how?

Now, she is very happy when she is around people, they make her happy, I however don't, since I've asked her out, she may just feel threatened because she knows that if I make a move on her it will ruin our friendship, which I understand, and am working on making her comfortable with me again. FROM THIS I draw that once I get her comfortable with me again, I need to either give her time and let her heal herself, or take her out and keep it interesting and different, or perhaps very drunk which I doubt she will do as it might bring up her true feelings out.

Now please stay with me on this it gets a little complicated. I believe I understand how she feels, as she has said "I broke up with my boyfriend but we might still get back together," from this, and not even from this, I know she may be isolating herself from any potential relationships, and holding a grudge against herself, thinking that she screwed it up. In which case I can help her realize that it was not her fault. That will take care of the grudge and for the rest, her hormones this spring will do the rest.

Give me your HELPFUL reasoning and solutions because I will slowly follow my agenda.

Interpret this act of mine in any way, but I just want to make her happy again.

Geminis sometimes express hurt by showing or proving how much they don't need you. Like I'm so tough, look I've already moved on, or hey I didn't even notice were motto ether anymore.

* not together anymore (damn auto correct!!!).

I can say that, historically, it has taken me a very long time to break it off with someone. There was always an on-and-off thing that followed every break-up. And I still love some of the people I dated. I didn't break up with them because I didn't love them, but because nothing I tried could make the relationship work. Even if I was the one who ended things, I would sometimes still obsess over the guy if he seemed to be moving on more quickly. F'd up, maybe, but that's the way it was. There were times I moved on to another guy, but if my "mourning period" wasn't over, the new guy would have to put up with me while I went through it. Not a fun situation.

Whimsy,
in this case she probably does obsess over him, since its very likely that he dumped her, and I can tell that even if they did get back together it wouldnt last long because next semester we are taking even harder classes together.. I remember how he was giving her shyt over the phone for wearing a black mini dress on the day when I chilled with her and her best friend.. so i guess he would butch about her not seeing him as well.. I see the problem now I am though still deciding whether to go with my agenda or analyze the whole thing more..

TRYANDGUESS,
She acts like nothing happened at all, nobody even knows anything shes keeping everything a secret, public knowledge for her is terrifying.. so yes she does act like nothing happened around people or me.

Posted by tryandguess
Geminis sometimes express hurt by showing or proving how much they don't need you. Like I'm so tough, look I've already moved on, or hey I didn't even notice were motto ether anymore.

this is valid

But MY thread was dumb right? I'd rather have a dumb thread than to have a pathetic thread & whine like a little bitch over a broad. Silly little boy...Get over it. SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU. Lmao...

lol try elsewhere dazed

I know she is younger than me and things change but I gotta tell you I think you are over analyzing things. Sometimes after a break up I just want to be alone. Has nothing to do with who did the dumping. When I can tell a man is trying to get inside my head and analyze me so he can make a move in order to gain something from me...I run. We pick up on people who try and do that and I for one find it manipulative and controlling. You just need to be YOU and if she likes the true YOU, she will come to you. If not, you will meet others.

It depends... I find that acting like it hasnt fazed me helps me with moving on. I prefer to end all contact with my ex... but if I continue with communication with them then there's a good chance I want them back or not over them. Honestly theres no point in getting into something with a Gemini if they have just gotten out of something because chances are it isnt going to end well. At the best of times are thinking is all over the place so if she is trying to get over someone or thinking of going back then chances are she will not be able to focus on you. I say give her her space and let her think things through and come to a decision, if she wants you then she WILL be back. I hope it all works out.

Posted by GeminiDahl
I know she is younger than me and things change but I gotta tell you I think you are over analyzing things. Sometimes after a break up I just want to be alone. Has nothing to do with who did the dumping. When I can tell a man is trying to get inside my head and analyze me so he can make a move in order to gain something from me...I run. We pick up on people who try and do that and I for one find it manipulative and controlling. You just need to be YOU and if she likes the true YOU, she will come to you. If not, you will meet others.

I do it covertly, there is no way she can pick up on it because I simply don't talk about anything, when im with her i like us to have fun rather than deep conversations, if i was to ask her something personal she would need to strike a spark, then i wouldnt drop it and i'd keep asking until she tells me, worked before. But i understand what you mean.. maybe ill just follow your advise and see where it takes me.. thing is we will spend a lot of time together this whole semester, by the way SHE WANTED me to really be in her lab section, donno if its a friendly thing or what but she has tons of friends, friends im sure that are 100 times better than me, why she wanted me in that lab - may be few reasons, but we also take another class together but our labs are separate and she asked me if i wanted her to switch labs so that her and me are in the same night section lab, i said laughing "of coarse you should" but it was just her thinking out loud, but i will give her space, and see where it goes.

Posted by RealTalk
But MY thread was dumb right? I'd rather have a dumb thread than to have a pathetic thread & whine like a little bitch over a broad. Silly little boy...Get over it. SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU. Lmao...

Most of your threads are dumb. #truth.

Guys cut him a fucking break-he's 19.

YingYangGeminiFan,
it is very very very unlikely that they will get back together, even if they will it won't last long, she is very closed about personal stuff, and yet i know of about 4 times about her fights with her bf, one time she texted me "im so sad" i kept asking what happened i even called her she didnt reply back, i asked her then in school why was she sad and she just wasnt answering just started talking about something else lol.. so even then i already figured that they started having fights with her bf, maybe she ended it because he was giving her crap, maybe he did, or maybe they both agreed to it, imagine, they both are fighting and more over she doesnt even have time to chill with him, and she keeps doing things for fun with friends but not him because when she is free he isnt, i asked her on that night when we chilled why her ex didnt come cause he kept calling her, she said he couldnt or didnt want to i dont remember which.. so it might not be one thing, it would be ridiculous, its probably everything, you know theres time when you just get sick of each other, she may be over it by the end of winter but thing is they still wont be able to see each other, and maybe he already has a new gf. But alright ill give her time and space and will be my-precious-self, will maybe play tom and jerry, you know.. little ignoring and thank you i hope it works too.


By the way how do i deal with her "i can do it myself/i wanna pay for myself/give it back i wanna carry it myself" thing it drives me nuts.. -_- she always helps me and as embarrassing as it may sound even payed for me when we went to eat because i forgot to withdraw some cash, and she will never take my money back, she will never let me pay for her next time, she was carrying a heavy text book i took it from her, actually nevermind she made me carry it, but you know what i mean, i am a giver and she is a giver and when she doesnt wanna take something from me im just like AHHHHHHH ill pay for her on purpose next time for whatever were doing/eating even if she says she wont talk to me, cause thats how shes scaring me.

GeminiDahl,

I do it covertly, there is no way she can pick up on it because I simply don't talk about anything, when im with her i like us to have fun rather than deep conversations, if i was to ask her something personal she would need to strike a spark, then i wouldnt drop it and i'd keep asking until she tells me, worked before. But i understand what you mean.. maybe ill just follow your advise and see where it takes me.. thing is we will spend a lot of time together this whole semester, by the way SHE WANTED me to really be in her lab section, donno if its a friendly thing or what but she has tons of friends, friends im sure that are 100 times better than me, why she wanted me in that lab - may be few reasons, but we also take another class together but our labs are separate and she asked me if i wanted her to switch labs so that her and me are in the same night section lab, i said laughing "of coarse you should" but it was just her thinking out loud, but i will give her space, and see where it goes.

Posted by tryandguess
Guys cut him a fucking break-he's 19.

Just go back and read ONE of his 1400 threads about 9482042 different girls. (although I think he's deleted and recreated a couple times, nonetheless, you get my point)

Not only is he 19, he's an Aries, once he "wins" we'll find ourselves reading about some other prey. #truth

i don't have to explain myself but i only actually wrote about just 2 girls, aqua and this Gemini, i blew aqua away she drives me crazy, cute face but bad habits, always thinks she is right, at least when i think im always right i actually am almost always right, she also clings to every word you say. and how dare you mock me about my age, my age proves nothing, if i was really as stupid as people of my age i wouldnt have 2 ex gfs who were 2 years older than me, and i wouldn't be after a 21 year old Gemini if i wasn't up to her level of intelligence or maturity, and trust me this is not the case where id win over someone and then get turned off, firstly that turn off feeling lasts for a few days, so even if she says yes she still wont give in fully and easily that should occupy the couple of days, and i get turned off only once i feel that the girl becomes desperate and wants to use me or if everything happens too soon and im unsure, anyway i highly doubt that will happen here, i spent too much time and potential so until she says "no igor i dont like you" or "i started dating someone else" im not backing down or getting turned off, end of conversation gemragalsbestpal, and she is not a prey she is a perfect combination of qualities in a girl I've looked for.

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal

Posted by tryandguess
Guys cut him a fucking break-he's 19.

Just go back and read ONE of his 1400 threads about 9482042 different girls. (although I think he's deleted and recreated a couple times, nonetheless, you get my point)

Not only is he 19, he's an Aries, once he "wins" we'll find ourselves reading about some other prey. #truth

click to expand

If he wants to post 2 million threads about chicks, that's his prerogative. You don't have to read them or comment.