how will a gem woman react—

i am not on talking terms with a gem woman i used to court but theres an ocassion coming up in the next month where i would have to interact with some mutual friends from school and she will be there too... so how do u gem woman react when you come up with someone from the past...like you avoid them? or exchange pleasantries? do u take the initiative or you just dont care?? i shared a deep bond with her. i m a cancer guy. i dont want it to be akward but i wanna meet my old friends too.... and ya i do wanna see how shes doing...so talking with her again wont be that bad..its her reaction i m worried about!

My reaction would depend on WHY we're not on speaking terms (an unusual situation for me). In your case, who did the leaving and why?

^^i was just thinking the same thing... lol!

In general, though, I'm extremely forgiving of exes, and tend to think of all the crazy things we went through as growing pains. If I'm not on speaking terms with an ex, it's because I despise him as a person. There's only one ex who fits into this category, and I see him often (at parties). My reaction is the same every time, even after 7 years: (1) avoidance (2) if avoidance doesn't work, polite conversation only as long as necessary (3) if he won't leave me be (or sometimes even if he will), take any and all opportunities to make him look like the schmuck that he is. Bottom line: if I'm not on speaking terms with you, then I DO care, even if what I care about is making you look bad.

allright..that dosent look good.

actually it was mutual and we didnt even have a fight about it...we just stopped talking...she wanted us to be friends but i didnt want just friendship.. so that was that! its been 6 months actually.

@Whimsy Just wave, show her all of your teeth and give her a hug (like a real cool cat!). Don't have any expectations about the outcome. Dont worry too much about the reaction, before or after. If after you initiate contact she gives you the slip, let her. Be confident (and honest with yourself) about your intentions before you go to this shindig, though.

Opps that comment was meant for @krebbsmann, my bad!

Like others said, it depends on how badly things ended. For me I'm always nice when I run into ex's, even one who I dispise quite a bit. I don't speak to any of them anymore, but if I were to run into them I would at least smile and say hello, then go on about my business.

Oops, I meant I don't talk to any of them anymore. As in I'm not in contact with any of them.

Oh, well if it was mutual and she wanted to be friends, it doesn't seem like there should be a huge problem when you see each other.

ya..no issues from my side. shes very charming and i would like to see that pretty face again. its just that i have my man's pride too and i would look like an ass if i say hi and she ignores...that would make me boil! i hope theres no awkwardness and everything goes smoothly because we really had a thing for each other since school and we were very close...so i dont really expect her to be so hostile.

Posted by krebbsmann
ya..no issues from my side. shes very charming and i would like to see that pretty face again. its just that i have my man's pride too and i would look like an ass if i say hi and she ignores...that would make me boil! i hope theres no awkwardness and everything goes smoothly because we really had a thing for each other since school and we were very close...so i dont really expect her to be so hostile.

I don't know about her, but you would be able to gauge what I might do by catching my eye across the room. If I light up and seem interested, it's safe to approach. If I'm expressionless and not giving off energy toward you, might as well not try talking to me with witnesses.

okay i ll try to gauge her reaction first... but if you gem women arent on talking terms with someone does that mean you arent thinking of them at all too—?

Posted by krebbsmann
actually it was mutual and we didnt even have a fight about it...we just stopped talking...she wanted us to be friends but i didnt want just friendship.. so that was that! its been 6 months actually.

So she isnt talking with you as not to make things harder on you, sounds like you made that choice and she went with it.. its the kind of thing I would do, I would be like "ok then dont be, see you when youre feeling better about it if i still give a plop"

Unless it ended spitefully Im sure she will be ok, just go with it.

@ degge lol i know... monroe is in my mind :p

@gucci yeah..but couldnt she work for it like i did— why should i be the one always compromising—?

Hmmm... if the decision was mutual and there was no bad blood between the 2 of you, then I dont see any problem. In general, we are mostly cool with former lovers. Whatever negative emotions we have for even the jerky former loves tend to simmer down after some time.

If by any chance you bump into her, smile and say hi. She'll appreciate the attention at the very least.

things should be ok if u are ok!

I'm interested to hear what happens. Let us know!

krebbsman:

Interestingly enough, I had a similar scenario this past April. I was attending a "reunion" of sorts and knew I'd run into this man whom I shared a deep bond with.

As you, I thought about how I would deal with running into him again as it had been some time since we last had seen each other. I played out all the possible scenarios in my head over and over again. Then I got tired of analyzing "what if's" to death and just said, "Screw it, what ever happens happens."

I attended the event and when he saw me, he gave me a tentative but warm hug while softly saying my name. He caught me off guard, so I just reacted to his gesture and hugged him back, but nothing very affectionate. Just being around him made me feel emotions from the past and I did my best to hide that fact. Gems "feel" emotion even though many on here will tell you we can drop feelings for someone just like that. The difference from Gems to perhaps other signs is that we can feel everything churning inside but on the outside, put of the persona of being perfectly at ease. We can pull this off because mercury kicks into gear when we are nervous. This allows us to either talk your ears off or tell ourselves it's time to split.

I felt such an intense vibe from this guy, it almost made me angry. He was trying to chat with me about boring stuff. I didn't care about anything he was saying. It felt as if he was trying to rekindle our bond; I wasn't going there. I don't know if this is a Gem trait or just me, but I really am not good at hurting someone's feelings, especially someone who had a special place in my heart. So rather than tell them off and make a scene, I chose to say "Buy" and walk off.

As far as what your Gem girl will do, I can't honestly predict. However, with a deep bond brings an underlying layer of emotions. It's how she handles those that will be the barometer for you to gauge your interaction. If she's somewhat receptive to you saying "hello"....etc., it may turn into a decent conversation. But if she has really deep feelings for you, honestly, I doubt she allows herself to continue into a deep conversation with you. Sometimes as painful as it is to walk away, in the long run, it's easier than reliving emotions over and over again in front of that person. In the end, it's all about self preservation and maintaining ones dignity. As a Gem, the last thing I ever want to do is give that away.

yeah i ll let you guys know... and thanks for the perspective gemini64.

Posted by guccigemini55

Posted by krebbsmann
actually it was mutual and we didnt even have a fight about it...we just stopped talking...she wanted us to be friends but i didnt want just friendship.. so that was that! its been 6 months actually.

So she isnt talking with you as not to make things harder on you, sounds like you made that choice and she went with it.. its the kind of thing I would do, I would be like "ok then dont be, see you when youre feeling better about it if i still give a plop"

Unless it ended spitefully Im sure she will be ok, just go with it.

click to expand

She wont, unless you show her its ok that you can be friends without the emotional entanglement.

and that i should do by initiating contact first or giving off good vibes— i dont know... :/

I'm ridiculously forgiving, either because I don't give a shit anymore and am grateful for what I learned from the experience, or maybe if I still like you.

In your situation it doesn't sound like she'll hold a grudge, anyway, because she just wanted to be friends.

If she does, it seems like there's something else going on here. I have an intense, vengeful streak, but I'm sure that's my Scorpio Ascendant. Overall, I'm pretty slow to doorslam anyone.

guys... what a dampener! either she didnt turn up or i didnt see her. damn! i was so looking forward to seeing that beautiful face if not talk to her. sigh! i saw her sis though but shes way junior so i didnt talk with her. damn! i m wondering when i ll see her again..if i ever will!

thats so not done! :/

i miss her and i miss meeting her. we havent blocked each other yet on our chat apps and v still can see each others updated pics. i cant initiate because what if she dosnt reply and plus she ll never be romantic with me so one day even if v become friends again i ll have to go to her wedding and watch her get married to someone else. i dont want that pain. iwould love to date her though and do everything with her which i couldnt before. i just wish my ego wasnt that big and neither was hers. can anyone opine on this? what will she be exactly feeling now? if she hasnt blocked me means she s still receptive...maybe waiting for me to break the ice. its been more than 6 months since we stopped talking. i have dated a few in between but no one matched her. i cant let this go any longer, she was someone i fell in love with and i can never love again the same way i feel. damn!

I would say not to contact her until you are truly ready to be friends. Gems girls I know get highly annoyed when the guy wants more than they do and can't keep a lid on it. SHE has to be the one to decide when friendship becomes more, if it ever does. Gems have an internal "relationship progress clock" that makes no sense to anyone but the Gem.

Once you know you can be just friends with her, then go ahead and reach out. It sounds like she's open. Even if she isn't, though, what's the worst that could happen? If she doesn't want to talk, well, you're not talking NOW.

i can never be just friends with her. screwed up! :/

Wow!! a day in the life of a Gemini women.. I am very flexible in defining my approach to anyone, however if I despise you, then it will be difficult to work up strength for light chat. I am on speaking terms with all my ex-boyfriends without slandering or any form of belittling. I could be at a party with everyone of them and have fun. I like to see all sides of the argument.

One thing I know that if I get wounded by your personality, but you sincerely understand the damage and mistake, and are seriously willing to apologise and change your behaviour, I will respond positively to our friendship.

Hey you like the photo of my boyfriend, how kewl is he... gorgeous hey!! Leo men rule