ami
@ami
11 YearsAries
Comments: 0 · Posts: 10 · Topics: 1
How long do Leos stay mad?
First this thread is nuts. Aries girl you and him need some help for real.
Second, being mad and being hurt are 2 different things. We do not stay mad for very long. It is not in our nature. However, if you hurt or betray us, you can forget about it. It's a wrap.
I think this is what you are talking about Tiz.
Second, being mad and being hurt are 2 different things. We do not stay mad for very long. It is not in our nature. However, if you hurt or betray us, you can forget about it. It's a wrap.
I think this is what you are talking about Tiz.
Maybe I should mention here that he has bipolar disorder, goes on and off his meds and drinks copious amounts of alcohol.
I think a big part of not wanting to burn that bridge with him is about my stubbornness. He doesn't have very many people in his life and it doesn't take very much for him to put people down (not insulting, like in a cutting them off kind of way).
So there's a bit of me feeling this challenge to make this otherwise socially inept guy accept that I am there for him and we are friends.
I feel like I can't take him to hang with my other friends b/c he's quiet and brooding, while I'm high energy and very social, but he's new to my city, not good at meeting people and I think he's a good person, but just has a lot of darkness. He told me that the people here are "aggressively friendly". (??)
RE: the untrustworthiness - This is his demeanor in general, this not trusting people thing. When he 1st moved here he was in culture shock. Couldn't understand why people were so friendly and that there was not as great a need to defend himself or his property or to be suspicious of everyone he comes across. He's weirded out by my saying hello to my neighbors if we're passing in the hall. (??)
He gets really ugly sometimes with his words, but it doesn't even phase me b/c I know he's just lashing out - shit! I think I feel sorry for him.
I think a big part of not wanting to burn that bridge with him is about my stubbornness. He doesn't have very many people in his life and it doesn't take very much for him to put people down (not insulting, like in a cutting them off kind of way).
So there's a bit of me feeling this challenge to make this otherwise socially inept guy accept that I am there for him and we are friends.
I feel like I can't take him to hang with my other friends b/c he's quiet and brooding, while I'm high energy and very social, but he's new to my city, not good at meeting people and I think he's a good person, but just has a lot of darkness. He told me that the people here are "aggressively friendly". (??)
RE: the untrustworthiness - This is his demeanor in general, this not trusting people thing. When he 1st moved here he was in culture shock. Couldn't understand why people were so friendly and that there was not as great a need to defend himself or his property or to be suspicious of everyone he comes across. He's weirded out by my saying hello to my neighbors if we're passing in the hall. (??)
He gets really ugly sometimes with his words, but it doesn't even phase me b/c I know he's just lashing out - shit! I think I feel sorry for him.
Posted by ami
Maybe I should mention here that he has bipolar disorder, goes on and off his meds and drinks copious amounts of alcohol.
Quite the opposite. You probably shouldn't have mentioned that.
He calls you names. Horrible ones.
Said he hopes you die and is going to laugh when you do.
Has a mental disorder
Does not take his meds
Drinks like a fish
Get the heck away from him. He sounds like a nightmare.
Calling Tiki !
Posted by Nala13Posted by ami
Maybe I should mention here that he has bipolar disorder, goes on and off his meds and drinks copious amounts of alcohol.
Quite the opposite. You probably shouldn't have mentioned that.
He calls you names. Horrible ones.
Said he hopes you die and is going to laugh when you do.
Has a mental disorder
Does not take his meds
Drinks like a fish
Get the heck away from him. He sounds like a nightmare.
Calling Tiki !click to expand
I mention it because while it doesn't excuse his behavior, it fuels his extreme highs and lows; maybe I let it be an excuse for his behavior. All that crazy shit he says just rolls right off me. Like, I don't even hear it because I feel bad for him that he's so unhealthy.
I guess I see him as a cross to bear because I figure the rest of my amicable and normal relationships balance everything out. That I somehow need to help him, be there for him, because I'm one of the only people he knows here and the only normal, stable person he knows. Blech! It's a tough job tho - he is a nightmare sometimes. His eyes turn black when he gets angry.....
Okay, point taken - maybe I'll get lucky and he's really done.
Posted by tiziani
Leos stay mad for life. No second chances. It's a fixed sign thing. The best thing to do is leave the topic alone and focus on something good you have going for you both. But since your situation sounds like a "good friends, better enemies" type deal it doesn't sound like that was ever even possible. I guess as an Aries you're missing the sex.
Haha! Yes, the sex is good. Really good. But he's very selfish. And doesn't understand the importance of reciprocation.
His eyes turn black when he gets angry.....
Oh yea?
Oh yea?
I am not even going to comment on the question. This is not a subject matter that pertains to your situation.
What is real?? You are in an verbally/mentally/controlling abusive relationship period no matter if it is a BF or FWB situation. Get out NOW. Not sure but you have option, check your locality and see if there is an Domestic Violence Orgainization that can offer you support or call the national DV hotline. This IS a dangerous relationship and has NOTHING to do with him being a Leo. I worked for a domestic violence Orgainization for six years and was in verbally/mental/controlling relationship for a 1.5 yrs when I was 18.
What is real?? You are in an verbally/mentally/controlling abusive relationship period no matter if it is a BF or FWB situation. Get out NOW. Not sure but you have option, check your locality and see if there is an Domestic Violence Orgainization that can offer you support or call the national DV hotline. This IS a dangerous relationship and has NOTHING to do with him being a Leo. I worked for a domestic violence Orgainization for six years and was in verbally/mental/controlling relationship for a 1.5 yrs when I was 18.
Listen to this advice, he's not worth it and you need to find someone better. Your pride will heal, that guy is a nut job and you deserve better. He clearly does not value you, and you CANNOT fix him. MOVE on.
Posted by Nala13
His eyes turn black when he gets angry.....
Oh yea?
Yes, his pupils get crazy dilated and the life goes out of his eyes. It's like he's flipped a switch or something.
Right... You can't help everyone. I'll just have to choose not to feel sorry for him anymore and forget about his existence. Me and my "never give up" mentality. He's obvi a lost cause. Meh - oh well. Thanks iOS 7 for the blocking feature!
And thank you, Forum for the resounding consensus that I need to just get away from him. I was so busy trying to be accepting and helpful, I ignored those initial WTF reactions. Ew-
On to the next!
And thank you, Forum for the resounding consensus that I need to just get away from him. I was so busy trying to be accepting and helpful, I ignored those initial WTF reactions. Ew-
On to the next!
Posted by tizianiPosted by amiPosted by tiziani
Leos stay mad for life. No second chances. It's a fixed sign thing. The best thing to do is leave the topic alone and focus on something good you have going for you both. But since your situation sounds like a "good friends, better enemies" type deal it doesn't sound like that was ever even possible. I guess as an Aries you're missing the sex.
Haha! Yes, the sex is good. Really good. But he's very selfish. And doesn't understand the importance of reciprocation.
Well you say that but you're also saying you're the one that's trying to make him accept you. Quid pro quo.click to expand
She is not seeing this as a highly unbalanced unhealthy relationship. She is in rescue mode and trying to fix someone who is unfixable unless *HE* chooses to do it himself. She will find herself sucked in deeper and lose of herself even further as she continues. She makes excuses for him. Classic abusive relationship.
Posted by ami
Right... You can't help everyone. I'll just have to choose not to feel sorry for him anymore and forget about his existence. Me and my "never give up" mentality. He's obvi a lost cause. Meh - oh well. Thanks iOS 7 for the blocking feature!
And thank you, Forum for the resounding consensus that I need to just get away from him. I was so busy trying to be accepting and helpful, I ignored those initial WTF reactions. Ew-
On to the next!
It is not giving up. (Aries moon here and highly fixed fire placements so I am stubborn as they come) what you have to realize: YOU have no control over someone else behavior. Only they are responsible for that. You can't change someone, you can offer guidance but they choose to take it. And never put yourself into a position where you compromise yourself for someone else: boundaries. Listen to those Initial WTF reactions, those are called red flags and is yourself saying this isn't right or healthy.
Posted by tizianiPosted by TheLioness79Posted by tizianiPosted by amiPosted by tiziani
Leos stay mad for life. No second chances. It's a fixed sign thing. The best thing to do is leave the topic alone and focus on something good you have going for you both. But since your situation sounds like a "good friends, better enemies" type deal it doesn't sound like that was ever even possible. I guess as an Aries you're missing the sex.
Haha! Yes, the sex is good. Really good. But he's very selfish. And doesn't understand the importance of reciprocation.
Well you say that but you're also saying you're the one that's trying to make him accept you. Quid pro quo.
She is not seeing this as a highly unbalanced unhealthy relationship. She is in rescue mode and trying to fix someone who is unfixable unless *HE* chooses to do it himself. She will find herself sucked in deeper and lose of herself even further as she continues. She makes excuses for him. Classic abusive relationship.
I'm just saying both sides have their responsibility in the matter. I see a lot of euphemisms like "fix" "accepting" etc. that are really a substitute for controlling behaviour on both sides. You can't force someone to feel how you want them to feel.
Hopefully they both make the decision to leave well enough alone.click to expand
It wasn't quite directed towards you Tizini. 😉
Posted by JustALeo
Ummm first let me ask...if you know that he thinks you're untrustworthy, basically controlling (wanting his cake and eating it too), anger issues, really sick sense of humor (-_- like really, if you died it would make him laugh?) sounds like you 2 argue a lot, etc. why even put up with it? You're making yourself sound like a helpless person and letting this person run all over you...a guy who only wants to be FWB means he just wants to fuck and that's
Exactly!
Why is not one talking about her Avi? What is the shell made of? I have been squinting at the computer screen and I can't tell. I want to eat it right now.
Run far away, and hope he doesn't follow you.
ami I know you want to change him but people (especially a fixed sign) will not change. Also, I'm sorry, but I feel men like that IF they do change will change because they have a life changing experience not some woman being sappy and understanding. Especially a woman that would let him walk all over her. You know that. I had a Leo ex that was an asshole, never treated me badly but we always fought. Towards the end since the fighting wasn't working I tried being understanding he got more controlling and only became more of an asshole. I left him and I'm pretty sure he's still the same person to this day, a selfish asshole that's not going to change. Your encouraging and understanding will only enable his behavior. You just got to cut him loose and know when you have a lost cause. I know we Aries are the champions of the underdogs but we also know when to let things go when they are completely out of our control. You can not change him, so let it burn baby burn. Unless you are into the whole being walked all over for the sake of sex. Honey you can get great sex anywhere. Hello, Cancers OMG are they amazing bed.
How can someone choose to have sex with someone that treats them this way?
Do you think this is the best you deserve?
I don't understand.
Do you think this is the best you deserve?
I don't understand.
I would NEVER EVER in my life allow a man to treat me this way. That's really sad. He is definitely an immature, disgusting, piece of shit human being and he deserves to be punched right in his face (sorry but this really made me mad). I really hope that you realize that you deserve better and drop this clown ASAP! He's an immature Leo. Run while you can. Things will only get worse!
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