Leo/Aries lots of confusion..

I met a Leo lady about a year and half ago(we met at a bar,it turned out we had a lot of mutual friends)
we had a lot of conversations about relationships and kind of agreed that we were both not ready to be in one. shes planning on moving in the next year or so and both of us just got out of bad relationships.

we hung out with friends and i felt a great amount of chemistry.i decided to tell her how i felt recently and she said the feelings were mutual but there was a lot of stuff
that made her unsure about moving forward(the bad relationships she was just in,the fact that she wants to move in the next year or so). we hung out together alone and we kind of assured each other that it wasnt a date even though it felt very romantic(we kissed and were very affectioned towards each other.)

we hung out again, just me and her and she seemed a bit distant and i acted the same way.she told me she was confused, and asked,"is this a date?"
and grab my hand and put her head on my shoulder.my aries pride took over and told her i didnt want to guilt her into a date. she explained she just didnt know where we were going
and thought we were going to just try and be friends. I explained to her it would be really hard to just be friends because i really like her and she said she really liked me too but if that was the case maybe we should stop being friends.

later on in the night we got very affectioned with each other and kissed again, she explained to me that when she said we shouldnt be friends it was her turning off her heart and trying to be logical about the situation but she really did have feelings for me.i asked her what she wanted to do and she said she was very confused and that we would figure it out together.

im kind of afraid on how to proceed with this leo,should i try and pursue or just let her come to me since were both kind of confused as to where we wanna take things?i honestly dont know where we would take our relationship all i know is that i like her very much(not sure if this is turning her off).

im also very afraid that shes just playing with my emotions since she seems so hot/cold but when i asked her about it she reassured me she wasn't she was just confused(is this normal for a leo?).

Being a Leo myself...probably best to let her come to you. Leos cant really be pushed anyway.

You both sound too confused and her departure in the future will only lead to heartbreak.

thanks for the feedback.

things have moved forward and she tells me she doesnt want anything serious,yet she treats me like im her boyfriend but she avoids the actual title. she even holds herself accountable like when she goes out she calls me or text me when she gets home and she expects me to do the same. she says she doesnt want to worry me.she calls me pet names and stays on the phone with me for hours.shes also very open about guys who try and court her and always reassures me they dont mean anything...

i find it odd though she gives me compliments me all the time but is always quick to qualify them...like she'll say," you look cute today....well kinda." or "i had such a great time with you! lets do it again soon!.....or you know whatever..."

or she acts like she needs to get off the phone and then keeps me on for hours longer!shell say things like,"ok i really gotta go, youre keeping me on the phone!" and then continue to talk for the next 2 hours!

we had a bit of an argument recently and she said she wants me to know that she doesnt want to fall in love with me and i should know that.i let her know maybe we shouldnt persue things and she was very hurt.she acted as if we were breaking up(she said, "wow i cant believe youre breaking up with me!") even though we arent really together,which confused me!??

i honestly hadnt thought things through and just acted impulsively.i told her i definitely wanted her in my life and she asked me to really think things over and call her back the next day.

we ended up meeting up the same day at her suggestion and had dinner but she acted different.she told me she definitely likes me and likes to spend time with me but she doesnt want to be tied down.she said she kind of saw me as weak for having acted impulsively and she said that was a major turn off. seconds later though she reassured me she still liked me..


i know leos are very prideful and dont like to feel exposed so i often wonder if she is falling forme and just doesnt want to feel vulnerable...

any suggestions would help. i dont know if im wasting my time or if i just need to stick around till she trusts me completely?

ha! that girl is fooling herself! been there, my friend. her side that is.

after the argument she felt vulnerable. things progressed between you 2 quickly so any argument right now could seem detrimental to the prideful leo. she's over-dramatizing it in her head to make it seem like a bigger deal than it actually is so she's "logically" reacting right now. she's trying to remind herself of her reality before you but she's losing the battle against love. as per usual.

i treated my now bf kinda the way she treats you. i was in dating mode and was actually seeing someone else (just a FWB). my bf and i became friends first but it was obvious there was an attraction and a deeper connection. i kept blowing the idea off because, i mean c'mon, i knew the direction i was headed and no one could persuade me otherwise. for the first time i was adamant about assertively directing the course of my love life whereas in the past i went with the flow. i actually tried to convince myself not to fall for my bf and that it wasn't gonna work that way.

we leos have a difficult time not infusing romance in our intimate relationships. we tend to get warm, fuzzy feelings easily and a little possessive. it sounds like she is suffering from the typical case of finding the balance between fantasy and reality. her heart is getting carried away when she is with you because she feels more deeply about you than she lets on. then reality sets in and she remembers that you guys are not in fact a couple and blah blah blah.

my bf persisted. basically, he went at my pace. he and i started a physical relationship while i was still seeing my FWB. he didn't necessarily like that i continued to see my FWB but he didn't intervene and was cool with whatever path i chose. in the end i got to know him better and each time i saw his more stellar qualities emerge. his patience and dedication really won me over. it sounds to me like that what's you need to possess in order for things to work out in your favor.

as an aries prone to impulse and impatience, how far are you willing to go? she needs to be romanced, feel adored, stimulating conversation, some attention, lots of affection, and security. you have to rise to the occasion and become her #1 fan without becoming a doormat in the process. if you make her feel like a queen, she'll be more subject to make you her king. consistency is important! it sounds demanding but you'd be surprised at how much you'll receive by giving a little

ninjamu thats incredibly insightful! honestly thats how ive been feeling all along...
kind of a case of "the lady doth protest too much."

we had another conversation and she was very adamant about the fact that she will not fall in love! period! but she restated that she has feelings for me—?(i dont understand this bit.)

one thing though that i dont know how to deal with and perhaps you could advice is the fact that she always makes plans with me and i mean always! and then cancels them abruptly!
how do i get around this?i dont want to call her on it and but it gets tiresome.

shes very quick to make plans,to set up double dates with her gf, to want to take me to special occasions for work etc. and then last min. she makes up some excuse not to bring me along.

the last time she did this her excuse was that had a huge pimple and she didnt want me to see her like that,because she wants to be perfect for me—?(does that sound rational for a leo or do you think its bs?)

things have definitely kind of soured.

kittyknitter, im definitely feeling like a doormat right now. she brought up one of her past flings who shes making plans to meet up with since they will both be in the same city soon and i honestly felt disrespected. i didnt say anything thought i felt kind of odd that she would tell me?she seemed really excited. yet it feels like shes lost her excitement for me??

she still calls and texts but the texts and calls are not warm anymore..very robotic and it feels as if shes distancing herself from me.

what i dont understand is why she still reassures me she has feelings for me?

at times i feel like she speaks to as if i were a child.
there definitely seems to be a balance missing.

it might be time to move on.

update:

so i ended the relationship about 2 months ago.we got into an argument,she got drunk and made out with someone to spite me.it ended terribly. i asked her if she had slept with the guy and she was deeply offended began to cry and asked that i never contact her again.

the day after i lost all of the contacts on my phone and posted a reminder on my facebook page to send me a txt with contact info.
she ended up sending me a random txt about seeing someone famous at the mall or something...(im assuming this was her indirect way of making sure i had her phone number?)

so 2 months pass and i decide to txt her.she immediately tried to call me but i decided against actually talking.we txted that whole day and she said she missed me a lot and invited me to dinner. i decided against it.i hope i didnt hurt her pride.

weve been txting each other for about a week and shes actually tried to call me a couple of times. i only recently decided to call her back. we talked about everything and she told me she still had feelings for me, asked me to lunch but i declined. she got very emotional and tried to play it off.

im just afraid shes going to do the same thing she did before. she would always push me away when she thought i was getting too close. i felt like a punching bag. i kept getting back up but eventually it became too much.

any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated. shes very quick to dismiss her feelings and say she was just letting her heart get the best of her.how does one crack that huge wall that most leos seem to put up—

Boy do I feel the need to answer you. I was JUST like this woman in my dating of days gone by. Im a Leo btw.

I would play those same games, let me make you jealous, mention old bf's, cancel dates....all in the name of controlling you and testing to see how much crap youd put up with. it was my insecurity because you had to PROVE your devotion, interest, lve to me BEFORE Id go out and risk my heart to you. The Leo pride!

I have lost men I was into with this stupid behavior. Let me tell you, I learned my lessons when I lost them. When I had the opportunity to get a man back, I was a changed woman. I learned well and stopped that crapola. I would say if you are still into her, give her a chance, but be more assertive ad take more control. You can only be a door mat if you let her walk on you. tell her firmly that you will not tolerate that stuff, be somewhat aloof, do not give into her demands. Show her you respect yourself and she will respect you back.

Im telling you, he crap I put my ex husband, a libra, through was so stupid, but I was young and dumb.

Whats your sign btw?

thanks for the insight ladyleo!

i am an aries.
you know, you might be on to something. the last time we talked she told me she wanted me to understand her and that she had this terrible pride, that she wanted to change. she said losing me made her realize she needs to get over it or shes never going to be happy.

i dont know if i derailed that thinking by rejecting her advances though. i told her i wasnt ready to hang out just yet. and she said she understood and that it was a stupid idea(this is where her pride kicked in). she said she was thinking with her heart and just wanted to spend time with me and began to tear up.she said she had to go and we hung up..

i texted her that same night, just letting her know she was on my mind and she txtd back something funny. thats pretty much where we are right now.

she seems so indecisive and fickle. she can go from "i want to see you so bad right now" to"no thats not a good idea at all, dont think we should see each other,goodbye."

i dont know how to find a medium with her. im going to be honest. i know i love her,but im not dumb.she can be an emotional bully sometimes and i dont need that.

Pride...boy do I remember it well. We use it to protect ourselves. We also use humor as a deflective shield. She is afraid of more rejection from you which is why she appears wishy washy. Its clear she wants you, its clear youw ant her, but not under the old conditions. This is what YOU have the power to change. Yourself! Change yourself by not allowing her to bully you. How do you do that? SET BOUNDARIES! Be firm in what you will accept or not accept. If she starts up with her pride shit again, you need to have an appropriate reaction. Heres an example:

You: would you like to have lunch tomorrow?

her: Oh I dont know....I might have to wash my pet skunk.

You: Ok, no problem. I will make other plans.

Period, end of story. End the call and say goodbye. She will be shocked. She wants you to beg beg beg....that makes her feel secure. But when she see's she lost her shot, she will learn from it. Its all about ego deflation and her learning some humility. If she cannot see you are giving her the change of a lifetime by giving her a second chance, she still hasnt learned her lesson.

Im telling you, I used to do this crap so subconsciously. She has to get real with her humility or else she will lose you. Be strong, be firm, be a man. A man can be firm, but gentle at the same time.

Damn, dont you know I am the perfect Leo for you? 🙂

haha, well if things dont work out with my leo..you never know 🙂


i think things are looking up. shes being a lot more open with me and she actually told me she appreciated that im so genuine with her and i dont try and hide my emotions. where i think before she would have thought of me as weak for exposing myself to her.

i think shes very much worth my time. im going to enjoy and play things by ear. wish me luck!

Posted by lightsandmusic
haha, well if things dont work out with my leo..you never know 🙂


i think things are looking up. shes being a lot more open with me and she actually told me she appreciated that im so genuine with her and i dont try and hide my emotions. where i think before she would have thought of me as weak for exposing myself to her.

i think shes very much worth my time. im going to enjoy and play things by ear. wish me luck!

I do wish you luck! As yes your vulnerability, to open your feeling to her is a STRENGTH! not a weakness. When you do so with confidence it is a chick magnet. We love THAT! Just dont let her walk on you or take advantage of it....good luck.