Leo/Scorpio and Commitment

I am officially freaked the butter out.

I'm not sure if this is a "leo" thing, I'd like some insight on this from both Leos and Scorps alike.

My "boo" has been getting very attached lately and I honestly feel suffocated ( with a tad bit of confusion).

We were talking about marriage and I felt like I was having a panic attack. I still feel like I'm going to have a panic attack even thinking about it. I mentioned how I couldn't see myself growing old with someone after years and then waking up next to that same person every day of my life without going beezurk.

He mentioned how sometimes when people fall in love they'll want to spontaneously get married, spend the rest of their life with one person, and wake up next to them everyday.

This FREAKED THE BUTTER OUT OF ME.

How can a person use the word "fall in love" so lightly? Heat of the passion weddings? How can someone take the words, "I do and till death do us part." So lightly.

These words are a promise. It's a promise that you'll never cheat; A promise that in sickness and in health you'll stick by the person; A promise that you'll be there for that person until death.

These are very very serious and overwhelming words of honor that the people you love are supposed to depend on. You'll depend on this promise, your spouse will depend on this promise, and for pete's sake your FUTURE KIDS WILL DEFINITELY DEPEND ON THIS PROMISE.

So we argue about marriage amongst several other topics and of course neither of our fixed signs will give into the other.

After a while, I feel a pressure in my lungs. Like I can't breathe. I can't stay there. I feel confined. I feel possessed. I feel like a lion in a cage. But I really like him so much because he's so amazing.

He tries to make me stay in more ways than one as I change into my street clothes and button up my blouse.

I can't stay. This is too much. I like romance and I like him but I don't want to feel pressured to promise something that I may not be able to deliver; something long term/longevity/forever.

He's hurt, I could tell he is hurt. I think he even briefly mentioned something about people hurting people and messing up their own relationships in muffles that were moderately rejected by my inflicted ears.

I guess he tries to resolve my anger and frustration. I felt anger and frustration because I laid had already laid out the terms, I had already told him that I never wanted anything too serious.

he attempts to resolve my anger and frustration by trying to give me our regular goodbye kiss. I try to walk away, he grabs me and tries to kiss me again.

I aggressively turn my head away several times.

He gives up.

I ask him to walk me to the door because it's the polite thing to do. but he yells about how he's confused by my actions.

He decides he'll walk me to the door.

As I storm out, he says something. I assume it's an insult, show him the finger and walk out of the building.

I'm so confused.

He's a LEO...He's just purring in the "MOMENT" it'll pass and he'll be silently roaming his territory and ogling some other girl and wondering how it would be to marry her too LOL

my attempts at being less mechanical and use humor typically FAILs but I don't let it hinder me at attempting anyway lol

Try to relax and "ENJOY" your lion, he's not thinking that far ahead, he's being nostalgic, toying with the idea because it sounds so romantic and dreamy, IT'S LOVE and leo's love to be in love, it feels so damn good but then he's BURNT THAT ENERGY UP and off he goes doing his own thing and not giving it a second thought. It's you "INNER DRAMA QUEEN" (we all have one) that is responding in panic. Relax

The moment of "NOW" is all there is with a man, the future meh (huge question mark)no need to discuss it unless he's putting a ring on it.

Yes I am the leo and he is the scorpio.

Oh so the SCORPIO STING LMAO!! Yeah be afraid....Be very very afraid! Once obsessed...Good luck getting rid of him LOL!

-Sits on the roof and looks down on everybody- Nice thread.

Thanks for the responses, they are much appreciated and very enlightened I am indeed. 🙂

He contacted me today sharing some trivial pop news that he thought might interest me. I replied with demeaning smug remarks (out of fear of commitment) which I think hurt him more which in turn made him pull away. I'm VERY confused.

tiki33: Yikes! That sounds deadly. :\ and confining.

ellybd:"Is he the right one for you? Really? Are you sure that you don't just enjoy his company because he treats you well, there's some chemistry and you feel like he ought to fit?"

I feel a lot for him and care a lot. But I'm kind of old fashioned for some reason. I'm not sure if it's "leo morality" or just upbringing. I like to account for time. For me at least, it's been a short time since we've known each other and I'm like to know someone thoroughly before I can say I love them.

I feel like love is a serious word to throw around. And I guess that's why it kind of freaks me out. It means forever. I don't think I'm ready for forever. It's kind of limiting on certain freedoms.

I think you are right about "they secretly knew that something 'just didn't fit right'". I LOVE and FANTASIZE OBSESSIVELY about romances such as "The notebook" and "Pride and Prejudice". I know it's not right...but then when I put myself in the situation I get freaked the butter out. It's like I observe from the outside saying "aww that's so cute I'd like to have that one day" but then when I replace the characters to include me I'm like "what the hay I have a life to live, I'm still young. I wasn't really serious!"

I like him a lot because he has in a short time become my best friend and my lover.

But a lot of things don't fit right...and amongst those are the very things I admire from the two former movies/novels I mentions. Class structures. We are in two COMPLETELY different spheres, and this is not something that I really know how to handle very well....because now that I think of it, it's actually something very new to me.

Because we are in two different spheres it's hard for him not to see me as a smug spoiled brat (even though although I came from a privileged family, I brought myself up from poverty on my own) and it's hard for me not to see him as someone who settled for a lot less than he deserves in life.

It has been brought upon my attention by friends that I am out of his league but I chose to ignore them because I really do care about him for some reason. But then I

think if we get closer...what about my family? I also think to myself whether he has the ambition to bring himself up with me, or if he will just stay in his current state of living.

For these purposes I never really wanted anything serious because I didn't think it would work out...but it is.


"Scorp brain goes "Nope not the person for me, no not them, no not that one, no, no, no, no, no... hey you're interesting... I mean really interesting... I like you. I like you a lot. OMtreetrunkINGGOD I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUUUUUU!!! ... ... oh... butter... ohbutterbutterbutterbutterbutter. *thinks five thousand different thoughts about love and that person* *takes a breathe* ... okay... I'm in love with you. Now lets see if there's enough to develop it into the kind of love that can last forever and if you have what it takes to trek it out with me."

This is exactly what happened with us. EXACTLY. You hit the nail. At first he made it seem like I was the one pursuing him and he was the one not interested at all. Then he started liking me, and then he started talking about insane things like views on marriage and babies and possible vacations/trips.

I'd like long term. But i don't know what's wrong with me...maybe it's my virgo moon who knows. I am going to seem like a jerk but If it would be something long term...I kind of just wanted it to be a hidden secret romance separate from life.

I really like and value privacy and I feel that I would be a lot better if for example I came home from work/school and needed some time to relax so decide to have private outings/hang outs with him with the little free time I have available.

I don't know. Wa. 😢

It's okay to be afraid about commitment but you don't have to act out by hurting him, he's done nothing but trigger your fear but you're the one CHOOSING to be afraid, find a more positive way to control your fear instead of being well immature about it, it's not necessary to hurt someone because you fear something, you just end up alienating that person and if your goal is to lose him then keep doing what you're doing plus it's not really love when you behave that way with someone you supposedly care about.

It's weird how it appears you are judging him negatively, almost like your saying he's not good enough for you but then again Commitmentphobes tend to do that a lot, search for the negative in at every angle, once you calm down things will go back to normal.

Try to stay away from future talk and you won't have another spazz out...All is well again

tiki33: thank you tiki. I really appreciate your advice. 🙂 You are right, I need to calm down and hope that there is no more "future talk". I found myself praising him until everyone else started judging him negatively and trying to dissuade me. I continued to praise him until I saw his great potential and intelligence being used in a way I don't really understand because I feel he deserves so much more. It frustrates me because I feel he is more intelligent than me and could accomplish a whole lot more than the "could have/should haves". I try and want to help him (I try because I care), but I have a lot of butter to do and I really can't be on top of everything all the time. lol

Honestly maybe I made the smug remarks because of the class systems and feminist views. I kind of wanted to make a point that I'm not an easily dominated doormat servant that is portrayed in certain divisions of society but I'm a strong independent woman with ambition. But you are right...this is uncalled for...especially with someone a person cares about and someone who has been nothing but overwhelmingly sweet/romantic. I'll stop with the "progressive women's movement sistah attitude" towards him. Good advice. 😄