Leos--Have You Ever Tailored Your Approach to Love

Invoking all the Muses to help me being comprehensible !

Every person has a unique approach to love, a distinct way to express it and his/her own way of cherishing being in love.

So have you ever tailored your unique approach just to accommodate or get along with your partner, for any reason whatsoever? (e.g. to sustain the impression you made, to hold on to them, fear of being misunderstood, etc.)

Is it actually doable?
How far can you go against your own nature?
Isn't it likely to backfire eventually?

Any insight? , Opinions?, Experiences----
---Please, and thank you,---

I am really sorry--the examples within the parenthesis are as off the mark as could be---that was not what I actually meant.
Muses signal got disrupted, I suppose.

No have never tailored, maybe that's why I am were I am today - I find myself being myself fully, and sometimes in the moment I'm like "celtic shut the fuck up". Even when prior to a date I tell myself, act this way and that way, I still just relax totally in the moment and just "be". Post date analysis I can say to myself briefly why did I say such and such but then I remind myself that that is me and no point presenting a false image, so I get over it real quick. So I suppose if they don't like it they can't handle it or me so therefore they aren't worth it. YOu can only put up a facade for so long and the real you will come out in the end so no point faking it in the beginning.

Posted by WoundedLeo


In the beginning of a relationship, both people are in a bit of a dream state. They show each other the very best parts of themselves. The pretty exterior.

As time goes on, they start to take off the "layers" and see more and more of each other's flaws and idiosyncrasies. This is a very critical moment. It's the moment that can often make it or break it. Some people decide they want to hang on longer and see where it will take them. Some decide they don't even want to go longer.

But one thing is clear, without compromise on BOTH sides. The couple will not survive.

No, not the pretty exterior. Sometimes you begin with the haughty and cold exterior and gradually learn that there are some good things about the person.I know it sound idiotic but it happens sometimes.

And than you want to have that person as a part of your life, but what you want from other and what other wants from you does not seem to align ? (is it a suitable word here?)with each other.

What should ,idealistically ,happen than ?

That's just about getting to know each other, be yourself first and foremost, what s/he likes about you in the end may be what they don't like about you after the first flush has worn off, but at least there is no real dishonesty.

I've found that in trying to be something other than myself, I've discovered that I'm an eternally growing tree, just ever reaching and tangling my roots and branches into the world around me. I've also discovered that your true nature and always opening up on different levels and planes is so much more attractive to your personal and interpersonal relationships.

In being my awkward and often adventurous self, I've uncovered traits that my mate didn't know he had. Vice versa. We grow together - and if we grow apart, we'll openly discuss it. We both share a Venus in Virgo. Just 15 minutes ago before he nodded off on the futon across from me (softly snoring lol) I asked if he'd tell me if he ever fell out of love with me, and added that I'd be heartbroken but I wouldn't be mad because I want him to always be happy even if that doesn't include me.

We're okay with those topics and admitting the possibility of reality hitting us hard. That's why we don't need to change.

I took a Sociology course where we discussed that a non-psychologically disturbed individual can only hold up a false mask on their true personality for 3 years on average.

Posted by bluemoon9043834

Posted by seraph
A Costs vs. Benefits analysis at some point has to come into play.
Everything comes at a price. This is not a problem. You just have to ask yourself whether you're willing to pay it.

^^^ Seems to be a conditional type of love that you approach with, no?

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But that's the problem , BlueMoon, that every thing is coming at a price. unfortunately not every person is offered unconditional love or friendship. People do put condition regarding what they are offering to others.Hence, the debate, how much you can give in without compromising your integrity and individuality.

Posted by WoundedLeo

Posted by sheathedclaws

I took a Sociology course where we discussed that a non-psychologically disturbed individual can only hold up a false mask on their true personality for 3 years on average.

I just want to point out that what I posted above goes along with the idea of "growing together" as opposed to apart. It is NOT about holding up a false mask, but rather about learning new ways of dealing with things and with one another for the benefit of the couple. It's not about crushing oneself, but rather about growing and evolving.

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I went to reread your post, and definitely picked up on that 🙂

We're definitely not 'done growing' at any point of our life, and we grow with many others - not just a romantic figure.

My Memere (GREAT 🙂 grandmother) is 87 and still has spitfire in her. She admits that she always has goals to reach as a human and with her loved ones. She gives me comfort knowing there's always things to achieve, and that stopping that 'practice' when you're 'in your prime' (as I always refer to her as) you are no longer humble as a person. Essentially you're broadcasting that you're perfect as is, once you stop growing.

I'd also like to note that it's healthy to grow with your loved ones (non-romantic). My mother and I are slowly but surely growing together as I'm becoming more adult. I'm her only daughter and only child (she's physically unable to conceive again), so our relationship is a 'first' experience for both of us with transforming from 'kid and mom' to 'adult daughter and mother'. We both learn and modify for ourself and each other.

And I forgot to mention, WL your post was fabulously well thought out!

She's a quirky woman - her sister 'stole' Nana for a title and she disdains the sound of 'gramma'.

However, we do have French within the family. The most recent immigrations and culture we hold is Swedish, being as my mother's deceased grandmother emigrated to the US from Sweden.. pickled goods and all. I've never understood that tradition... it's icky 😛

Icky, of course being objectively measured using scientific methodology...


Heh, I'm silly before a caffeine dose in the AM. 😛

😉 I have no problem with beer in Valhalla - huzzah!

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by sheathedclaws
The most recent immigrations and culture we hold is Swedish, being as my mother's deceased grandmother emigrated to the US from Sweden.. pickled goods and all. I've never understood that tradition... it's icky 😛

Easily explained madam:
cultures from northern climates have shorter growing seasons, and longer seasons where they must do without fresh stuff. Those cultures will tend to pickle, salt, smoke, cure and preserve more food than those from milder climates with longer growing seasons, by necessity. What all that pickling is, is a survival tool that your ancestors used to make it through long, brutal winters, as well as through the spring into summer... since you really don't have a lot of food available til it's had a chance to sprout and grow after that thaw, after all.

Hence, traditions like cheesemaking, salting, smoking, and drying fish, butchering pigs just before or right around Halloween, pickling things... sometimes with salt, sometimes by making it very very assertively sour, sourkraut, even sausages and hams were developed as a method of preserving calories without refrigeration, and things like the "root cellar" where you would store apples, root veggies, etc.

Scandinavians, as a rule, have also always had the reputation of being excellent marksmen, which can be attributed to a strong tradition as hunters for many centuries. Look up how the Nazi's and the Soviets both hated tangling with the Finns, for instance. The Finns beat their ass, by being excellent marksmen capable of making one-shot kills over long distances... just like when they were hunting meat to feed their families in the winter. They knew all about how to preserve that meat as well.

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-snicker-

I'm very proud and well read on Scandinavian tradition and history! Our Scandinavian blood emigrated quite recently and we've had the wonderful pleasure of being able to embrace traditions, lore, and our family's cultural roots. I'm also quite rustic in my manner of preparing meals, breads, and all foods. All as 'by scratch' as humanly and economically possible. Down to fermentation and harvest.

HOWEVER pickling is icky! I don't understand the tradition cause it should have been thrown out ASAP! I'll buy them portable freezers and tight sea

continued

*sealing baggies!

AND IT'S SMELLY!! 😛 😛 😛

We wore pretty cool hats, party after life on Earth and have bitchin' carvings on the front of our ships. Yeah, the traditional know how from the ancestors is pretty rad 😉