Off /on/off /on

I have been off and on with a Leo man for almost 2 years now.

I've experienced I suppose all cliche's of the Leo .I've had the deep warm adoration.I've had the dissappearing acts.And the him coming back full force and expressing his love .I've had him be insensitive.I've had his moodiness. We have had time away.Ive dated others.I've had him beg for me back. I've had him tell me we are destined for greatness. I've had him try to run the relationship. I've had him thank me repeatedly for loving him and putting up with his s**t even though he knows it's not always easy.I've had him make selfish decisions and me have to walk away.

The last thing I mentioned drove me to have to break up with him two weeks ago .I didn't want to ,and I'm missing him every single day so much it hurts ,but he went and did something even when I plead him not to despite knowing it was a deal breaker ...so I had to walk.He hasn't even tried to call me, part of me feels like he is ashamed of his actions ,but then some days I feel like he doesn't care at all. Eventually last Saturday I gave in , called him and left a message saying I think there were some things we needed to discuss, he hasn't called back. This isn't entirely abnormal, we have been here before in past occasions and eventually like I mentioned he has reached out in his due time.

I may be stupid and delusional, and I know you people who read this forum on the regular probably hear this type of story over and over ,but despite it all I feel like what we have is very real and we love each other a lot. I am not quite sure why we can't get it right for good if there is obviously a force between us that makes it so we don't want to quit each other.Why put in all this effort for this long of time ?


I don't know exactly what my question is ...partially what do I do?Do I do anything?Do i just move on with my life ? Do you think his silence means he does not care? Or is he just feeling wounded maybe /ashamed? I know pride is a big deal with Leo's,but I'm a Taurus and it's kinda the same with us.When we are together we do a really good job of trying to be vulnerable and honest and open, before what happened two weeks ago things were very good, there was not like this ongoing tension or anything like that.

I'm super heartbroken right now and I don't quite know what to do...so alas I come here to complete strangers asking for some sort of unbiased opinion I suppose. Lay it on me ,good or bad, I need to hear whatever

my ex is a leo. i'm a taurus. run, don't walk to the exit and don't look back 😛 i learned...

- putting up with/excusing his crap. imagine that you're going on a first date. imagine the guy fails to call, is late or whatever selfish act your leo may engage in occasionally. would you lose the guys number? if you wouldn't accept it from a stranger, don't accept it from someone you care about. leo can be selfish. that doesn't mean you have to nor should you put up with it. demand better and if he doesn't do better, set consequences. change your behavior if he won't change his.

- say what you mean, mean what you say. if you leave, if you break-up, mean it! do NOT pick up the phone, do NOT email, do NOT text him first. stand firm. he will lose respect if you give in too easily. if he reaches out to you, take several DAYS....weeks to ask yourself "is this what i really want?" beyond taking this time to get a clear head, fire signs love to chase. eventually, he'll realize you haven't called. either he's been waiting you out (doubtful) or he finally woke from his selfishness, realized you were gone and figured it was time to look you up. by being available, by letting him back in too easily, too soon, you're doing exactly the opposite of what this sign wants/needs when they're immature. i'm not saying NEVER pick up the phone but don't be too available. it's not playing games. imagine if a guy you didn't like called out of the blue, how soon would you return his call? would you return it? just because you care for leo doesn't mean you should abandon all reason or give the milk away for free.

- make him work for it. taurus can be so accommodating in a relationship that we figure, if we just show him how wonderful it can be, he'll wisen up. at this point, he knows how wonderful it can be. now make him earn it. he doesn't get rewarded for good behavior. if you're doing everything and he's doing nothing, that's not standing by your man. that's being a doormat.

- is he ready? is he TRULY ready for a committed relationship? mine seemingly was but his life was in financial turmoil. it ate at him. he couldn't/didn't share the magnitude of those stresses with me. nothing i could've done/said during that time would've changed things. deep down, i knew he wasn't ready. don't wait on him. if he's worth it, he'll be around IF you're available in the future.

and do the opposite of what pr0vos wrote...yes, you have emotional baggage but unlike any other sign, taurus is one that should run head first into a new experiences. otherwise, we'll be unchanged, unmoved and alone for months...years.

- the next person who asks you out, go. IT'S ONLY DINNER. it's not about a love connection. just look at it as, "i'm meeting new people." "i'm getting out of the house." no, the guy across the table isn't as wonderful or as dynamic as your leo. yes, you will leave that date thinking, I'M TIRED OF DATING, WHERE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE?!

that's not the point, you need to get in a single rhythm again. yes, you want the leo back but trust me, remembering that the world doesn't stop/end with leo will help you get back to being the woman who attracted him in the first place. the confident, coy, assertive woman who didn't take crap. are you still that woman? if not, you need to find her again and getting out and about, shaking things up, getting outside of your comfort zone is a way to do it.

so go, have dinner. don't worry about calling the guy back if you didn't have a good time. have a 2-3 date max during this time frame. anything beyond that and you're encouraging the guy to stick around. just go, be treated like a queen. eventually you'll start to wonder, if they will, why won't he?

- do NOT try to make him jealous by mentioning other men. if you go out to lunch/dinner during a breakup phase, it's none of his business. if he asks what you've been up to, drop VERY casual hints. you don't have to say, i had a date yesterday." you can say instead, "i saw that new movie." "i finally went to that restaurant." see, it's not about the date. it's about the fact that you're not sad. you two broke up, you put your big girl panties on and you're living life. you're not waiting around for him...not anymore.

my point is, the sure way to attract/keep him is to maintain your backbone and self-worth at all times. don't sacrifice your esteem/happiness for this man. he won't respect you for it and in the end, you won't respect yourself.

pr0vos, i thought leo was loyal?

her mistake was not in dating others. her mistake may have been telling him that she was dating others. whatever you sign, you're a woman of virtue at all times. if you're not in a committed relationship, you have every right to explore your options. during your exploration, keep your damn mouth shut. what you do in your spare time and with whom is your business. at the end of the day, if he didn't like it then he would've put a title on it.

so pr0vos, do you think the leo was being loyal during this time frame? if not, why should she pledge blind allegiance? he didn't.

pr0vos - exactly, which is why my suggestions had to do with her and her actions/reactions. i don't need the know the specifics to say simply, you teach people how to treat you. that's true all day, everyday.

she CAN'T control his actions, but she CAN control herself and how she reacts to his actions. she can choose not to play games. she said she broke up with him yet she contacted him and is upset he hasn't called. why? you broked up. why is his phone going ringa dinga? oh i know...she wants "closure." well, she should've got that before she called it quits.

it's off / on because she has participated in this sick game. men who play the near-near, far-far dance can keep you in a state of uncertainty. pulling you close when you wish to walk away. pushing you away when you're close. that maybe what happens in the course of her union with the leo but that's not what's happening now. it's "over."

she's playing the, "i hate you, call me" game that women play so well. you tell the man you never want to speak to him again and yet, you send emails/texts/VM because you "just want to know why?"

mean what you say, say what you mean. if you're not ready to call it quits, don't. but when you do, stand firm on it and the only reason to reverse that decision is if you or your lover has fundamentally changed. don't do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

in the end, one of three things will happen. you'll never hear from him again. it hurts, but you're better off. you hear from him again, but he's the same toxic loser and/or you're the same toxic loser you were prior ot the breakup. OR, you're less toxic, he's less toxic, you find one another and you try again...but this time, you both give your all. if it fails, it fails but if it succeeds...

as i tell my friends, let a man be a real man. don't chase him. he'll find you.

oooooooooh, pr0vs not pr0vos!...i like my way better. CHANGE IT!

yes:

sun leo
moon capricorn
venus virgo
mars leo

i don't think there is any cancer in his chart. do you need more? i don't know his rising b/c i don't know his birth time.

and he's definitely a leo, an august leo, towards the end closer to vrigo but not cusp.

i would say that my whole experience, story with this leo has spanned 6 1/2 years now??

thank so much to everyone for their response,and not that I need to dignify Pr0vs with an explanation of my other dating habits(I assume you read my profile and my other past posts on here ) ,let me be clear:


1) if you read these posts you'd see that the Sag was one of my best friends and really laid it on thick and was there for me the first time the Leo played one of his peace outs .At that time I wasn't aware if he was ever going to come back ,and in a moment of sadness and vulnerability YES I decided to sleep with my friend...the sag..once. I paid that price dearly for not only did it ruin our friendship ,but he told my ex boyfriend he slept with me bc I didn't like him(the sag) how he wanted me . I personally think there is a lot more people than myself out there who has experienced such a thing happening and you know what I'm human .

2)The Aquarius ...I had these dates during a time where my Leo and I had been in an off period for five months.I was trying to honor myself and was trying to be open to letting someone else into my heart .I don't think ,again,that's very abnormal.I was in fact single so what was my problem there?

3) the Aries I slept with YEARS AGO, I was just asking about his weird behavior towards me as .


--if you have someone ,as I do in my life as this Leo ,who at times has not been very clear in terms of how willing he is going to give to the commitment, and we go through phases of not being together, regardless of my feeling for my ex I AM not going to sit around fully.I can attempt to meet other dudes and live my life , I really think it has nothing to do with my love for someone else.

Isabel I'm a Taurus Rising, Taurus Sun on the Gemini Cusp, Moon in Leo, Venus in Cancer

I dont know everything but I know he is a Sun Leo,and also has his venus in Cancer

In my experience with men (in general) they do NOT like ultimatums and they can only be coerced by tears and drama for a limited period of time. As Tubby said too, "do what you say and say what you do." That passive aggressive thing is annoying in any type of relationship; especially one of matters of the heart. Trust me, when I was younger, I tried to play that game too, and always lost. Do you. Worry about finding YOURSELF. The rest will follow. Is your heart broken? Yep, probably, but guess what - time truly does heal all wounds. I can't stand all of those cliche's either when I am embroiled in a breakup, but I remember them and they keep me sane. It's true. I never thought my life could go on without my ex-fiance (the Libra), but guess what? It DID and DOES (and swimmingly, might I add). Keep your mind occupied and do other things. Go out even when you don't feel like it. That one is hard for me, but I don't flake on people, so if I say I'm going somewhere with someone I will go - even if I don't want to, and 9 times out of 10 I end up having a damn good time!
None of us know what transpired in your relationship with your Leo, and as someone else said, there are two sides to every coin, but regardless of that fact - Just. Do. You. Everything else will come in it's time.

Makes sense, Lv. Taurus, Leo and Scorp (as well as aqua) are all Fixed signs. I think this has a lot to do with both our situations, not being to let go, holding on despite problems, trying to work it out.. etc. We are al stubbron once we decide on someone and don't give up easily. You are both venus in cancer, that's good, compatible; your moon is in his sun that's compatible. you can find out his moon easily as long as you know his birthdate, it might help to know. you should read up about these placements and what they mean, if you haven't already, they have an affect and might give you insight.

as for non-astrological advice, I would have to say that if he did what he did knowing how you felt and what would happen, you should reconsider your ties to him. he has got to respect you and your commitment to each other. at some point you have to decide if you want to keep going through all of these things with him and the pain it brings or if you should let go b/c you don't want this anymore. If he respects you and wants to be with you, he should make an honest effort to oversome these issues you all have. obviously there are reasons why you break up and get back together repetatively. you've got to figure out how both of you are contributing to this and decide what you can both do to stop this cycle. You've got to break the vicious cylce, break the toxic pattern. I know taurus' well and I know they are prone to get into ruts and dig their heals in and can repeat the same patterns ad infinitum. You both have got to direct your minds to make some changes in how you carry on this relationship and make compromises, otherwise you're going to continue to get the same results. how do you see your relationship in the future? where is this heading? is this someone you would want to be with for the rest of your life? would you want to have a family with him? a life together? if you don't see this, then you should use this time to move on. if, however, you're serious about him, try again., but FOR REAL this time, none of the same mistakes from either of you, and be sure he's serious about you. Since you already called him, I would wait a while and let him respond. if you feel too much time has passed, call once more and leave a message. if it were me, i would express how i feel, and that i want to make this work between us, and if he feels the same, to call you back so you can get together & deal with this in a way that you don't have to go through this again.

overcome*

oh, and that's it, that's all you should do. don't keep trying to get in touch with him, let him respond and if he doesn't, consider that your answer. you can't keep yourself tied up in someone who doesn't even care enough to respond to your honest and heartfelt attempt to work on the relationship. he may come back to you in time, probably will, in his own time and that's not exactly fair for him to just leave you hanging on like that until h'es decided that he's ready to come back into your life. if he doesn't want to lose you he will respond in some way and he should tell you what's going on with him. otherwise, he is very immature and you need to move on.

reading through some of the posts was funny.

she wrote in HER first post that SHE is a taurus and HE is a leo and yet, look how many leos responded offering advice while simultaneously askin what sign she was and presuming that she was a leo, any sign other than taurus and/or a HE.

typical leos 😛

magician I am greatly loyal,but if someone leaves me , or for whatever reason we take a break in a relationship(sometimes for months at a time) I don't think it's inappropriate to conduct my life as if I were single, there are no guarantees sometimes . I don't think that's disloyal, I apparently due to a lot of peoples feedback if anything have been slightly retarded allowing my ex boyfriend to dictate aspects of our relationship maybe, but I don't appreciate having my loyalty come into question.I love him a lot.

Maybe you need to realize the reason I broke up with him a few weeks ago is because he chose to go do drugs over me. He has some issues w substances, and a stipulation of us getting back together this last time was he would take steps to work on this issue.He had been doing great, but then he relapsed and went on a speed binge. I can't enable that behavior ,and it is only himself that can make that commitment to taking the steps to getting clean.I love him and want him to get it together but if I stayed it would send him a message that this behavior is good and it's not

yeah, right after your hour-long reading comprehension lesson.

i don't ever recall reading that fixed signs aren't attracted to one another. in fact, i think fixed signs are naturally attracted to one another. attraction has nothing to do with longevity though.

i'm a taurus. first i dated an aqua. then i dated a leo. and briefly dated a scorp (about 6 months). aside from the scorp who was bipolar...literally, i really enjoyed the aqua and the leo. the aqua for the friendship, the leo for the sensuality. both relationships were textbook astrological unions.

had both of us been more mature in either situation, i think we would've made it. so when fixed signs come together, there's little room for error. you have to be your best you, they have to be their best them. if both parties are mature, i think you can get through the fixed sign tendencies a lot better. you can actually compromise without feeling at a loss.

compromise with my aqua - him agreeing with me

compromise with my leo - me agreeing with him

oh that Scorp was a nightmareeee,he didn't stop leaving me alone till recently .total scumbag

My three longest and most intense relationships were with an Aries(can't believe I ever ended up with those),the Scorpio, and then this Leo

yeah, i had to threaten a restraining order to get the scorp to leave me alone.

ok, what i learned from fixed signs...

aqua needs to take a good hard look at leo. aqua needs to learn how to be more passionate and emotional. cold love is just...wrong. thus, they could be more like leo in the demonstration of love department.

leo needs to take a good look at aqua. leo needs to learn to be more a friend to their lover. sit down an talk, get to know the person. love isn't a fairytale. getting to know a person doesn't sully them. develop a friendship in the way an aqua would...with time and sincere effort.

scorp and taurus is difficult. the only thing i learned from that man was, during a breakup...

scorpio behaves as if they will not let you live without them..."i'll kill you"

taurus behaves as if they can not live with you..."you're killing me."

i learned that my life isn't over just because a relationship ends. i will be ok afterward. pain is ok. i WILL get over it. it also taught me not to give so much of myself when i'm in love. that's what makes the breakup so difficult. i feel like part of me is walking out the door. but he isn't mine, he isn't part of me...i never possessed/owned him. i think that makes it easier for me to let go in future relationships and not to hold on so tight when/if a situation goes bad OR if there's a dispute...whatever.

Posted by magician



"compromise with my aqua - him agreeing with me

compromise with my leo - me agreeing with him"


This is not compromise tubby ! wow are you kidding me ? This is called submission !

magician, i'm going to need you to be a little swifter ok. that was sorta the point in my typing it. there was no compromise in the relationship. that's what happens when two fixed signs come together. both parties are stubborn. neither will give ground...if they're immature.

so what happens is, one person usually does all the bending. they've recognized that the person on the other end will NOT back down so to avoid conflict, they give in. doesn't mean they've given up. the white towel is usually thrown in after arguing/debating an issue for God knows how long.

sweetie, this thread is indicative of the fact that you need to work on your reading comprehension because you have confused numerous points. you thought the OP was a boy 😛

and yes, fixed-fixed relationships require work but they're not as difficult as you presume IF both parties are mature individuals...which is my point.

you're a leo. you know you're a stubborn bastard. with age, you will learn how to pick and choose your battles. when to dig in your heels, when to bend and when to meet in the middle. that lesson has nothing to do with who you're with at any given time. it's a lesson that all stubborn folks MUST learn to become better people.

so if you have two stubborn folk who know how to listen, respect, be open and changeable, the chances of success are much greater.

my aqua and i, it took us YEARS to work through this. after we broke up, i learned how to be less argumentative but he had been conditioned so he approached every argument in the same way he did when we were dating. he expected me to be stubborn as hell and when he got someone who listened to his points, agreed where he was right, didn't say "but" afterward each and every time, he didn't know what to do with himself.

he started creating problems where there were none...continuing the argument even though i'd already agreed or agreed to disagree. i couldn't win. he was still being immature. GRADUALLY though, he recognized that i'd changed and we were able to communicate without it going down hill. we're good friends now, we respect each other's opinion. and truthfully, if i wanted him back, i could have him 😉

I am a girl, I have a vagina, obviously...what man would write such an emotionally laden initial post ;p

Despite the tendency for fixed signs to be stubborn and set in their ways, my best relationships and friendships have always been with other fixed signs, and when i say best i don't mean "most harmonious" or conflict free or easy going, (of course not), but i do mean most valuable.

fixed signs would naturally be attracted to each other b/c we sense in the other the traits we possess and appreciate: dedication, determination, loyalty, commitment, longetivity.. etc etc. we're the kind who remain when all others have long gone, we'll be there through thick and thin, we'll see it through to the end, we don't give up, we perservere, we will try to work through anything and make things work. when two people who love each other have this drive, they can get through anything together.

all of my fixed sign relationships, friendships, have been meaningful to me, full of emotion, turmoil and confrontation but also ful of deep emotions and a sense that this person means something to you and you to them. I love fixed signs, even if the arguments can be heated and life together frustrating.

in some ways this can be destructive i guess, because sometimes you need to let go, you need to know when to let things end and go your separate ways when things aren't working, so we all have the tendency to stay in toxic relationships when it would be better for us to move on.

Posted by IsabelScorpia
Despite the tendency for fixed signs to be stubborn and set in their ways, my best relationships and friendships have always been with other fixed signs, and when i say best i don't mean "most harmonious" or conflict free or easy going, (of course not), but i do mean most valuable.

fixed signs would naturally be attracted to each other b/c we sense in the other the traits we possess and appreciate: dedication, determination, loyalty, commitment, longetivity.. etc etc. we're the kind who remain when all others have long gone, we'll be there through thick and thin, we'll see it through to the end, we don't give up, we perservere, we will try to work through anything and make things work. when two people who love each other have this drive, they can get through anything together.

all of my fixed sign relationships, friendships, have been meaningful to me, full of emotion, turmoil and confrontation but also ful of deep emotions and a sense that this person means something to you and you to them. I love fixed signs, even if the arguments can be heated and life together frustrating.

EXACTLY! the hard fought battle is worth winning. with women, it's like butta. with men-women combos...sheesh. overall, the problem is stubborn women typically have type-a personalities. i don't care how submissive we can be, if you can't lead, won't lead, we WILL lead so you either come with or get outta my way.

@magician - I don't think this is the case, but you remind me of someone that used to post here named Ike 🙂 He always gave Taurus women the business, but secretly loved us...I think he liked to get spanked too! LMAO. I miss Ike 😢

USC - out of curiosity, what was ike's sign?

He was a Leo 🙂

*tee hee* Maybe both, but I'm sure it was the latter! I could always get a rise out of him if I talked about wearing thigh-highs, stilettos and whips...innocently - of course 😉

lol

It's because he has Capricorn in his chart, his moon. EW. Leave him, please. Find a Leo with a Water Moon. They will never leave you.

Goldenrose, you're confused. The person who posted the topic and question doesn't know her leo's moon sign. I told her about my leo ex, that's the one with the cap moon, who i had an on/off relationship with, but it was on/off because of me, not him, he was in it for the long haul.

Posted by GoldenRose5
EW. Leave him, please. Find a Leo with a Water Moon. They will never leave you.

Hmmm well my LEO has Moon in Scorpio, yet he puled a disappeaing act on me too!
Let me know what you think is going on on my topic too please. ;/

"I've experienced I suppose all cliche's of the Leo .I've had the deep warm adoration.I've had the dissappearing acts.And the him coming back full force and expressing his love ."

Is that typical for real with Leo's? Why do they disappear like that?

Posted by Babykaykesiam
"I've experienced I suppose all cliche's of the Leo .I've had the deep warm adoration.I've had the dissappearing acts.And the him coming back full force and expressing his love ."

Is that typical for real with Leo's? Why do they disappear like that?

The leos I know act this way. I dont think there is any use trying to figure someone out when they act like this. Just go on with your life and put your energies into something positive and creative.