why do people feel lonely?

are we born lonely? why does that need for company emerge? how much time can you spend alone without feeling lonely?

i have read somewhere that "See through the mist and find yourself, you need never be lonely again"

how is one supposed to find oneself? which path is one to choose to do that? by reading books...by discussiong with friends? how do you know that you have found yourself?

Well, I would say that I am loney for a significant other but I'm not desperate for one. If it happens, it happens and I would be satisfied with it. However, when it comes to the company of good friends, I enjoy having them around but they don't have to be aroiund me every single day.

....how is one supposed to find oneself? which path is one to choose to do that? by reading books...by discussiong with friends? how do you know that you have found yourself?....

This is a hard one. Yes, I think we are all alone. Be lonely and being alone can be different.


....why does that want for company emerge?...

What kind of company are you talking about?


...how much time can you spend alone without feeling lonely?...

I can go a very long time. I actually like spending time alone. Sometimes I prefer it. But I do get lonely when the urge to be with someone who can relate (no matter which way) happens and this person is no where to be found. I think it happens to everyone.


...how is one supposed to find oneself? which path is one to choose to do that? by reading books...by discussiong with friends? how do you know that you have found yourself?...

Another hard one. I think this is entirely up to you and when you are ready for it. Maybe it happens when you hit a point of acceptance that you can't change your surroundings or find yourself through someone else. Maybe it's when you realize that the only person who can ever do for you the way you want is you (lol did that make ANY sense??). And one day your OK with that. I think this happens after you are finally sick and tired of talking to your friends or reading those books or praying etc..

You accept the fact that you are alone and you can't change that. Some people are lonely even when they are with someone else. To me, that's the worst.

oops, I re-pasted the same sentence twice.

Well, hopefully you get it anyways 🙂

Maybe it's when you realize that the only person who can ever do for you the way you want is you (lol did that make ANY sense??). And one day your OK with that. I think this happens after you are finally sick and tired of talking to your friends or reading those books or praying etc..

i think you are right.... this actually helps a lot!!

to find oneself through someone else is kinda dangerous and not right to me... there is the danger of becoming addicted to that person... kinda like a drug that puts you i a happy state of mind etc. one should be able to do that for himself and not seek others acceptance and consolation... but that is hard to do!! you have to be strong to do that.

I can go a very long time. I actually like spending time alone. Sometimes I prefer it. But I do get lonely when the urge to be with someone who can relate (no matter which way) happens and this person is no where to be found. I think it happens to everyone.




i can definetly relate to that, i have no problem spending time on my own, in fact i have to, i can't not set aside time for myself, spending too much time with my friends, and boyfriend can get annoying because there's always that feeling when you've seen too much of a person...
and when you see someone that you haven't spent time with in a couple of days, there's like this excitment and you don't get tired of one another, but then again....there are those urges when you want to be with someone at a certain moment and they're no where to be found. And that's when my lonliess comes out i think.....or maybe that's just being selfish and wanting everything to be on my terms...hmmm

i don't know if i'm making any sense...

Hi whoaitznara,

No, you make perfect sense.



.....or maybe that's just being selfish and wanting everything to be on my terms...hmmm.....

I think about this too. Thank goodness for understanding friends huh?

oh yeah...

it's nice to be able to talk to someone and not have them judge you as some horrible person...
but then again my friends are always the ones who bring me back to reality and let me know if the way i'm acting is justifiable....[is that how you spell it?]

...it's nice to be able to talk to someone and not have them judge you as some horrible person...

I hear you. That's why I've kept two people around most of my life. My best friend and boyfriend. The only two people I trust not to judge. Because people fuck up sometimes. They know this and so do I. Aw, I have some phone calls to make now 🙂


Yes, you spelled that correctly.

I believe people feel lonely, becuase they delude themselves foolishly into believeing no one can empathize with them; that no one can share their pain; I felt for 17 years, and with an I.Q. of 125, that I could find no one; intelligence was bastardizing, and limiting; no one can relate to your reserve, and explosive feelings; you can't make them get you, so you must learn to accept your gift for what it is...some feel loneliness out of jealousy, in that they can't be you or just don't know how to relate to people. I enjoy being alone, to gather my thoughts, and focus; having people constantly in my face rattles my nerves; and agrevates me; constantly being under the spotlight, people sizing u up, always competing with you; where's the damn freedom at?!?!?!. Loneliness is a deafening feeling that can make you cynical, and suck you dry; I hate it, my friend was suicidal at one point becuase of it! I told him he MUST fight, and NEVER give in!!. I hate loneliness, but not being alone; there are big difference beteen the two.

2 weeks or more of loneyness I can handle

If I remember correctly yes,the never being lonely again thing is directed at people who try to live thier lives through others...being needy,etc. type "lonely" is what that is.Otherwise,humans are social animals and yes babies in particular want other people around,kids are the most honest and they're usually always curious about people and wants to get out and have fun.So getting moments where you need socialization is normal also so long as you don't "depend" on it to make yourself happy elsewhere.

I feel lonely also, becuase If I feel there is no one to share a good time, or experience with it is lonely; I like being alone at times, but I find people don't understand me...more lonliness...

*tear drops* *teeth clench*