Would love some brutal advice

I met a Leo man about 2 months ago online. We talked for hours and would text. Finally we met and "POW" I was drawn like a moth to a flame. He has this light around him, he's just beautiful, and I mean outside in beautiful. (not to mention he's an attractive guy)

When we first started talking I knew I needed to do everything right, perfect, take things slow. We both had alot happen in our lives and I wanted with him to be in a place to emotionally give.

The more we talked the more I liked him, by the time a month had passed, I had fallen. (and I was really scared) He has a dangerous job, which scared me also. But I could not stop wanting to listen to the sound of his voice or see him. I finally one night decided to text him and tell him "a little about how I felt about him, not everything, but enough to express where I was coming from and find out if he felt close to the same. I was feeling a little insecure, cause I didnt know how he felt about me, I figured the best way was to be honest with my feels (whic is really hard for me, since my dad died).

He could talk on the phone and asked me to text him what I had to say. I didnt want to and said "it can wait". He asked me again and I said "no, I would rather wait to say face to face or on the phone if I have to".
The next day I didnt hear anything from him, and that went on for days. So I think he is upset that I wouldnt just say it on the phone.

Then by the fourth day, my fear of loss (due to my dad dying, fear of lossing another you love) kicked in and it was bad. On top of feeling a little insecure over not knowing how he feel's.
I did the worst: got drunk texted all kids of "crap" then used another number AND TEXTED HIM, cause my mind said he just decided to not speak to me again, and didnt know why. Any way I lied and said I was my brother (yep I lied to a Leo) and wanted to know why my sister was crying over him... blah blah blah...
Then I got a little drunker and messaged him on the dating sight and said more!

Basically it was bad!

December is an extremly hard month for me, I'm never myself, I get super bad anxiety, very emotional, and I get like a black hole in my stomach. My dads b-day is X-mas and its really hard.

So Leo's love to talk, so do Aries..... But I let him do all the talking and I just listened.I liked the sound of his voice, it was calming, it pulled to me.
Well I should have talked and shared also, maybe he would have understood why I kinda freaked out.😢

. (Not to mention my ex-husband lives with me cause he doesnt have a job or anywhere to go, and drinks WAY to much and causes alot of stress in my life!


So He talked to me the next day, was very upset that I lied to him, and basically said I will listen to what you have to say, but thats it. (No second chaance) So my dream guy walks into my life, just to lose him!) No one upstairs could be that cruel!
So I took it that he never wanted to talk to me again, and no chance to work anything out.

I never called or text him again. Then yesterday, I see he messaged me on X-mas eve and asked me to call him.

So I called him, he said he wanted to know how my X-mas wnet and how I was doing. ( I was really shocked, but my heart fluttered and knew that emotionally I needed to not jump ahead.) He said "so when are we going to talk about these messages (they are BS)
We were talking and my phone dropped signal, I tried him back no answer. Turn out it was his phone, he called me back later that night. I was finally getting to talk a little about the events that lead up to my freakout, trying to help him understand, his phine dropped! Again! very sad......

Today I texted him and said, "the phone doesnt seem to be working, can we talk tonite?"
He said " sure, when and where?"
I said "I didnt wanna go to a bar with a bunch of ppl around and asked if I could just come over 7:30-8?"
He responded " sure, would be nice to get out of the house though" Which he does really need to get out of the house and breath, he lives with his sister and its not easy either. (hence why I said we both have alot going on!)


So now the question is, do I have a chance at giving this man love, and him giving me that second chance? Or is he just wanting to know why/what happened to make me do that and then move on?

Are you sure you should be dating considering how neurotic you still are after the loss of a loved one? A new relationship will not fix that.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Are you sure you should be dating considering how neurotic you still are after the loss of a loved one? A new relationship will not fix that.

Its been four years this X-mas, I know I need to move on and find a relationship. I have a lot of love to give the right person. I havent come across anyone that has captured my soul like that.
We all meet people for a reason, its not an accident.

I think he may have rather enjoyed the little 'show' you made that night 🙂 Because he is a Leo, he has an ego to be flattered 😉

Plus, guys don't really care as long as they find you cute and the fuss is about how much you are into them.

The only downside is, you say he could be the one and of course this isn't a perfect start, but a crazy start is not bad either 😄

Now you only have to show that you are a sane person when you're not drunk! And see if he likes you as a friend or more.

Good luck xx

Posted by beggarsblanket
I think he may have rather enjoyed the little 'show' you made that night 🙂 Because he is a Leo, he has an ego to be flattered 😉

Plus, guys don't really care as long as they find you cute and the fuss is about how much you are into them.

The only downside is, you say he could be the one and of course this isn't a perfect start, but a crazy start is not bad either 😄

Now you only have to show that you are a sane person when you're not drunk! And see if he likes you as a friend or more.

Good luck xx

Thanks, My stomach is in knots and 7:30 cant come fast enough. 🙂

aww I hope it works out for you 🙂

*hugs*

Ahh-- I'm too late to chime in on this one!

But I hope it worked out-- of course there's a chance if you're honest.

That first message wanting to wait-- he probably thought you were going to dump him. o.O


Let us know how it went. 🙂

Posted by Nell55

Posted by EmotionalAries

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Are you sure you should be dating considering how neurotic you still are after the loss of a loved one? A new relationship will not fix that.

Its been four years this X-mas, I know I need to move on and find a relationship. I have a lot of love to give the right person. I havent come across anyone that has captured my soul like that.
We all meet people for a reason, its not an accident.

It's been 4 years since Daddy died and you are still not over it and are looking for someone else to put a band-aid on your booboo, IMHO, that is not the healthiest way to go about moving on. Love yourself.

click to expand

This. If you're reacting this adversely still, after 4 years, you need to seek counseling. Everyone mourns differently, but this is becoming an issue because you are not properly moving on. I've been there and I had blue periods around the same time of year when my dad died, but they're supposed to tone down and/or go away eventually. The fact you just went grade A psycho at the drop of a hat FOUR years after the fact is kind of telling about how much you are NOT moving on.

That said, you are not ready for a relationship and your actions are telling of that. Go see a grief counselor and work out your shit before getting into a relationship. A new boyfriend is not a counselor/way for you to move on from something so life changing. He's a boyfriend and a relationship, not an emotional crutch.

In other words, you're doing it wrong. You can try to convince us otherwise, but from an outsiders point of view, one that's far more clear than your POV, you need to work through these issues first. If you truly like this guy, you wouldn't drag him through this mess. It's selfish of you to think otherwise.

Hey everyone,

So things turned out fine, we spent the weekend together. He understood why I freaked out (and I found out his dad died right around X-Mas also) so someone who can relate. We are exclusive now, he straight up asked me to be his girlfriend. I will be meeting the family next week, that may be kinda weird.

I have read alot about Aries and Leo's ... WOW WOW WOW, there is alot of fire there!!!
One thing I have noticed, I'm very girly around him, I'm never girly. Something to get used to. Thanks for the advice! 😉

Posted by EmotionalAries
. (Not to mention my ex-husband lives with me cause he doesnt have a job or anywhere to go, and drinks WAY to much and causes alot of stress in my life!

Tie up loose ends before trying to start something with someone new. Your going to end up in an even more messy situation.