A little help from my friends...

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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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@ Beloved Assata
Yes I am looking for advice...he is nice, polite, always there...he asks questions about things that I had planned to do...like he ll remember that I was supposed to do an activity or that I had an exam and will ask about it...and other caring manners...but at times...I just feel like he gets frustrated, cold....weird...meh...I use to care and probably still do a bit...but I guess he ll come around when he is ready!!! How do you behave when you like someone—
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LibraSid
@LibraSid
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

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Posted by ScorpSage
weird...meh...I use to care and probably still do a bit...but



No but about it. Figure that out before you keep after this guy. It's the one from the gym right? He was really into you before and sounds like he still is. If you see something is wrong with him ask. If he says nothing, let it go. Tell him Okay, just making sure you know I'm here if ya need to talk. Then leave it alone. He will come around when he's ready but you can spur it out some times if you ask... and reassure him that it's okay to talk.

Then for advice with him... just go have fun.
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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Hi Librasid!

How I missed your advice!

Yes, it is the same guy! The trouble with finding love (thanks to your past advice??_as you??ve come to know quite a bit of my prudish history)??_the funny part is that the guy that I am seeing right now is everything a girl would want in a guy, he is committed, affectionate, makes plans for the future, takes charge??_basically everything to show you how much you mean to him. Not Trouble so far??_well here it is, I am still hung on my Libra. I have tried for a few months to move, it was quite easy because that other guy came along??_but Libra is hot and cold??_He has been keeping that same ritual??_meaning spending time with me to talk about my family, my goals, my dog, my dad??s sickness??_he comes to see me everytime before leaving so that we can recap on the night??_which by the way he still doesn't do to anyone else. With all these cues, anyone in their right mind would tell me to just go ahead and tell him about my feelings for him. Truth is, it isn't easy. I would rather be with someone else than say anything. The thing is that everytime we get closer, at a certain point he will get cold and I am left questioning my moves, what I said??_thinking that maybe I did something wrong!!

The only thing that I did wrong is that there is another guy at the gym??_.woahhh??_sorry about that guys??_3 guys in my life.
Little reminder to keep track of who??s who??_obviously these are nicknames.

Juju; guy that I am seeing.
Spikey; other guy at the gym??_very nice and charming
Kris; my beloved asian Libran

Spikey talks to me as if he could melt in my eyes, he looks at me and keeps himself very close to me. He is somewhat very sensual, he is not afraid of showing his feelings and that is a problem. As much as I enjoy the attention because he is intelligent, charming and handsome, I also think that at times it is a bit too much as I am not showing any sign of interest other than friendship??_meaning I do not exhibit any form of flirtatious body language nor do I look out for him. So I was in the stretching corner and he came to see me, because earlier he was busy introducing a new member to the different machines. He comes my way and asks about me, we talked for quite a bit, not that I was getting bored because like I said, he is interesting, but I noticed that Kris was going back and forth, realizing that all that time I had been talking to Spikey.
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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So with that in mind, I didn't want this to cause anymore trouble in our NON existent relationship??_so I gently said, that I had to go??_I didn't expect Spikey to follow me around, which he did??_he was about to walk me all the way to the door??_to avoid that, I made up an excuse saying that I had to use a specific thing to stretch just before leaving because my arms were soared from the bench press. This being said, he gave me his hand, palm facing up??_I had no choice but to give him my hand and he held it for quite a bit??_it freaked me out??_as I tried to remove it, he held it a bit longer. You can imagine how this may have looked. Not that I caught Kris watching. The only that I noticed is that when I made that excuse to go stretch??_it was to go say bye to Kris??_and he cold and distant!! Problem is that I can't help having people like my company??_he is the one taking forever which for one isn't fair??_why isn't he man enough to take my hand??_Spikey has known me for barely 2 months and yet is more familiar with me!!!

Sorry for the novel??_but that's what happened!!
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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OMG Beloved Assata...do you know him or what!!! Lol....You know I couldn't pin point his way of being so intense...but he just is...what struck me is the routine and things I say or do...OMG he remembers everything and he'll be like I guess you are done after this exercise...and then I'll say yeah how did you know...and he'll say well that's what you usually end with! Or he'll see do something and tell me that I have improved...oh and the compliments...he is always complimenting me...he makes me feel so good about myself!!!! You have described the obvious part of him as for the un-obvious...I can't contradict you as I am not sure how he lives through it all...but let's just say...that he couldn't be too far from the truth...because everything about him is so intense!!!

Assata
I am so grateful for your advice. Thank you oh so very much. I think that my best bet is to confess my feelings for him...mostly explaining that I needed to confirm everything before being able to move on...do you think he would feel used if I said...

"I want to be able to move on and let other people in my life, but before I do so, I need to know if I stand a chance with because you are the one I really care about."

Again, you cannot know how much of a great insight you have brought me...I didn't know that a Virgo moon had such a powerful and intense emotional depth!!! Quite impressed...and I thought Scorpio's won first place hands down. I am happy to be toned down by my Saggi Moon.
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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btw Spikey doesn't interest me, let's just say that he is pretty quick in business...I couldn't see myself with him...because he isn't smooth and refined about the whole loving act...way too straightforward....ironic how Kris's weakness is all about lacking straightforwardness and Spikey strength is all about the opposite!!! One could say that Juju is pretty balanced but I am not sure I could return one tenth of the love he gives to me!!!
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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I understand that I am not quite the Saint here...

First off Kris doesn't know about Juju...btw Assata, I am still with Juju...Juju is great, he nice and sweet to me...like I said before the reason I feel bad about Juju...is that I am leading him on, although I have made it clear with JUJU that I had a few skeletons in my closet(relationship wise) that were yet to be solved. But he replied, that he wanted to wait because he believes that I am the one for him and vice versa. The problem is that I do not feel that way for Juju...I like him because he is nice to me, he flatters and he loves me but my heart is still missing a beat!

Yesterday was horrendous with Kris, he was so cold and indifferent. When I first walked in he was drinking water at the fountain, he turned and saw me because I saw him do so but then he went back to his machines...we did our thing...and I some point we crossed path, to which he had no choice but to talk to me...which we did...I felt so bad and helpless that I could do was listen to him talk...it felt like he was talking to fill the air...and at some point, for those of you who followed my past chapters lol!!! He mentioned this guy that casually trains at the gym and that was always after me...he went on and told me oh yesterday, referring to Monday night, I saw Cliff, did you know that he hadn't come for the past 2 weeks...to which I replied carelessly: Nope, hadn't noticed. He then went on talking about him how he decided to come on the day where it had snowed the most (again referring to Monday night). In a normal situation, I would have told him that I didn't go on Monday, therefore that is why he hadn't seen me...because by telling me about Cliff, he was actually wondering if I hadn't to the gym because of the snow storm...but yesterday I didn't care about justifying...I just wanted to be at peace...and that's what I did by giving him my undivided attention. Anyhow...as usual before leaving, he came to say bye to me...which caught me off guard since I was beginning to do bicep curls...I was going to remove my earplug...instead he said don't worry...I'll see you later, keep on going with your workout!!!! Leaving me once more clueless....I am telling you, there are two possibilities to this whole scenario...

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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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It's #1:
He has feelings for me therefore it would explain his awkwardness and weird complex about his age...which btw he still hasn't told me...instead he gives me cues about his colleagues and how they are all the same age but now there is this new generation of employees...and how they are so young in his field...

Or #2: He doesn't know how to tell me he isn't interested, he is being his Libra self...no wanting to hurt my feelings and all...but then why all the continuous caring...I mean I get it that Libra's are all about not being rude, harsh...but even this guy should have a limit...I mean...I have to believe that he has been avoiding telling me that he isn't interested for the 9 months—??

What do you think....
I know that I screw up by letting Spikey hold my hand the way he did...it was a total mistake...but it was in the moment...and refusing to give my hand would have been so prudish and awkward...although I should have just turned my hand into a fist bump. I know that this situation probably didn't help...but you know what we have been through so much that I don't think that this is enough to really ruin the whole story!!!

What do you guys think—
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LibraSid
@LibraSid
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

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Who are we even talking about here (the libra sun virgo moon from the OP) Kris? JuJu?

He (Kris) likes you but hasn't invested too much because he isn't sure where you stand. He made some advances a few months ago and got mixed results. That'll confuse the hell out of him. So he backed off a little to see what comes next. If you were interested you'd have pursued some too. Instead you got a boyfriend (Juju). Even if he doesn't know about the guy, you would have changed your behavior some. He would know.

The first thing you need to decide is what you want. If you think you are leading someone on, stop... it's just wrong. If you want to give things a go with juju then stop worrying about kris. If you want to try things with kris, you need to end it with juju first.

As for your options 1 and 2... He (Kris) does like you. He has shown it many ways over the last few months. However, he will not fight for you if you aren't responding to his interest. You guys don't have a long involved history. He is still a nice guy though and won't tell you off or start ignoring you, it'll just change. That cold, indifference you mentioned could mean that he is still interested but believes you are not so he backs off.

You cannot have both.

Hanging out and being just friends is fine if that's all it is. You are dating Juju but still calling kris your beloved Libra.
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LibraSid
@LibraSid
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

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A) If the guy is shy, and he's not into competing, by making the first move, it kind of puts this big sign of 'hey, I like you."

Very much this. Actually I told ScorpSage to do that months ago. The amount of times they have "bumped into" each other on his way out is him making the first move. He is shy, he isn't going to chase much without some validation.

They both have some awkwardness and neither wants to take the first big leap. They were both inching for a while there. He flirts and talks to her a lot. He listens and remembers what is said. He'll bring up topics like her dog later. He is interested and is waiting to see what she is going to do. I agree this is a "safe" way to put yourself out with almost no risk.

I am not a normal guy though, I have NEVER asked a girl out (bf/gf asked out that is). I charm them and let them ask me. I'll get things rolling slowly and let her chase.
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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Hahahaha Assata you crack me up??_actually for having lived it so many times??_it would go some what along this??_

LibraSidKris: Hey (eyes opening up)??_I'm done
BelovedScorpSage: lucky you
LibraSidKris: are you almost done
BelovedScorpSage: yeah??_almost just got to do a few more abs exercices, I feel like I have been slacking off lately.
LibraSidKris: You slacking off??_okay??_as if.
BelovedScorpSage: Well don't you ever go through a day were you are feeling blah— (smiling at him)
LibraSidKris: Me!! Never, I am always at the top of my shape (with a smirk??_and a big smile)
BelovedScorpSage: *shy moment* Ha ha ha??_ok you got me??_but you know I have to push myself a bit more
LibraSidKris: Yeah??_I see you are trying to be perfect!!
BelovedScorpSage: What! No! I could never be perfect even if I wanted it.
LibraSidKris: big smiling grin at me
BelovedScorpSage: Anyways, I won't hold you any longer??_I could go on forever
LibraSidKris: Ok. Well take care, have a nice evening.
BelovedScorpSage: Thanks. Same to you.
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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No need to give anymore pointers Assata....but you know how it is...when you are the one in the situation...as obvious as it may seem...you can never know when to make a move!!! Anyways...I'll probably see him tonight...and I will then see how he is...if he seems cold and rushed tonight as well!!! lol...I spoke to Juju and sent him an email...because over the phone he was trying to convince me to give it another try...but in the case I really had to pull it's not you, it's me...and i felt so cheesy about it...but truth is...it is really me and not him that has a problem...so I sent him an email explaining that he was a great guy with great manners but that i wasn't and wouldn't be fair to pursue with him physically when really my heart lies with someone else...and as for Spikey...I need to avoid him for a couple of weeks just to cool down the effect...I also need to stop talking to other guys...because I tend to be very friendly and that could be wrongly perceived....i noticed how awful i felt that time when that girl went to him...to ask him to move a weight for her...i ll never forget the joyful stare he had when he realized that I was watching the scene!!!

OMGGGG!!!! I can still feel the butterflyz from that episode...poor Kris...with all the things that I have made him go through!!!!
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little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

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hmmm ... according to my little magical site. Not good.

A Libra Man with earth moon and venus water:

water manipulative, extramarital affairs, stressful work, lasting relationship, private, gracious, gentleman, business owner or entrepreneur, manager, articulate, creative and artistic, bitter divorce, originator, temper, criminal perpetrator, cancer, alcohol abuse

I would be cautious. It isn't 100% accurate on all points but I have found this site more accurate than not.
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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I thought about something he did...this saturday...we were at the gym talking...and then he pointed at a guy saying that he just had his christmas party and he realized that this guy worked at his company...anyways the guy came along at some point...and Kris introduced me to the guy...he went hey this is Scorpsage...so I shook the guy's hand and said my name again hoping to catch his name....anyhow...I thought it was cute that he introduced me to a random colleague....😄😄😄😄
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ScorpSage
@ScorpSage
15 YearsScorpio

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Hello Guys!
I'M SO SORRY...How scorpionic of me to have not replied back. I guess at that point there was nothing left for me to object to...then again at times I just get tired of analyzing and over analyzing things...thanks to the saggi in me...

I appreciated all of your feedbacks....special thanks to Assata and Librasid.

I can't believe how accurate both of you were on understanding him and the situation. As of now. I have cleared two guys out of my life (Spikey and Juju). Juju was the hardest...he texted me so many times this week-end...ugh...he will get over me and anyways it wasn't fair of me to be with me when the truth was that I didn't feel much about him.

I realized something and it happened twice lately...unless I'm reading too much into it...but at both times it felt weird/awkward...

#1: around my bday, he knew that I had plans to try this restaurant he had recommended. Which I did...when I saw him a few days later at the gym...after asking me how I had liked it ect...he asked: who did you go with? But he did so that it implied much more...anyways...most people wouldn't ask this question...because anyways...when you go out for your bday it is a given that you either go with friends, family or a special someone right...the way he asked me was suspicious...it isn't quite a restaurant to go with a crowd as it is pricey but yet could be possible to go with family!!

#2: around last week...I saw him and we were talking about the holidays coming up and he was so excited to tell me about each gift he had gotten for his niece and nephew...he was really thrilled...not only that he was happy to tell me about the details and trouble he had gone through to getting everyone something they would like. Anyhow...after telling me everything about his purchases and he also said the amounts he had spent...which really isn't like him...I just felt like he wanted to be impressive!! Anyhow...so then he goes how about you, any gift shopping for someone? To which I froze again...and then jumped to another subject saying how my mom was leaving to go see my dad for the holidays...so no, no shopping there! Anyhow...he is being his own cute sexy and fun Libra self...if only he knew...wonder if he believes in astrology and if goes on these sites!!! lol